Laura Anderson| Wicked Local
Life throws a series of choices at us, every minute of every day. Some are minor while others are epic and life changing. Poll your friends and family and you’ll see that people have a tendency to take sides when it comes to these decisions: Ford or Chevy? co*ke or Pepsi? Burger King or McDonalds? Boxers or briefs?
And with The Marshfield Fair behind us and The Topsfield Fair approaching, I’d like to offer up yet another example of a choice that folks need to weigh very seriously before coming to a decision:
Funnel Cake? Or Fried Dough?
Those of you who eschew fried foods might ask, “What’s the difference?” which is the equivalent of asking if there is a difference between Hunts ketchup and Heinz. Between mayonnaise and Miracle Whip. Between Canada Dry Ginger Ale and Schwepps. To which I say, “There’s a huge difference.”
I’m a Jersey girl, which means I root for Team Funnel Cake. I spent countless summers at county fairs and down the shore, my mouth salivating as I watched that delectable web of cake-y goodness bobbing in hot oil, counting the minutes until it was plucked from the fry-o-lator and dropped onto a paper plate, then coated with a healthy amount of powdered sugar. “Wait for it to cool” my parents would urge, advice my sisters and I ignored, plunging ahead and burning our fingers as we pulled pieces off and popped them in our mouths. When it was all gone, a process which took all of 30 seconds between the three of us, we’d slowly lick the powdered sugar from our fingers and start thinking about the next opportunity we’d have to indulge in this rare treat.
I didn’t give much thought to funnel cake when I moved to New England until I went to a carnival and saw a food truck advertising fried dough. Now every Jersey girl knows that you can’t have a carnival without funnel cake. I’d already learned that New Englanders have different names for everyday foods like soda and sub sandwiches. I just assumed that fried dough was another name for funnel cake.
Well, you know what happens when you assume? You end up with a giant, chewy, heavy wad of deep fried dough on your plate instead of the light, airy delight that you were anticipating. As the bottom of the plate burned a hole in my palm, I examined the flat, round mass in front of me. It was too hot to touch, since there were no holes that allowed air to circulate and cool it. Yes, it was greasy and steamy and covered in powdered sugar, but that’s where all similarity ended. I realized then that while soda may be tonic and subs may be grinders, fried dough is definitely not funnel cake.
I blame myself for making assumptions. Fried dough and funnel cake are the fraternal twins of fried food: similar but with their own distinct characteristics, their common bond a vat of oil.
Fried dough doesn’t put on airs or pretend to be something it isn’t. It’s simply fried dough. You can use bread dough or pizza dough, stretch it into a circle, drop it in hot oil and voila! Funnel cake, on the other hand, isn’t dough at all. Funnel cake is made by creating a batter of eggs, milk, flour, salt and baking powder, then using a funnel to pour the batter into the oil in a circular, web-like pattern, resulting in a light, crispy, delicate nest of heavenly goodness.
Fried dough seems to be more of a New England treat, although a similar fried concoction can be enjoyed in Canada under the name “beaver’s tail.” Funnel cake recipes have been found in cookbooks dating back to medieval times, though the current version was made popular by German settlers in rural Pennsylvania, which is just a stone’s throw from my beloved New Jersey.
So, fried dough or funnel cake? My sons are split on this decision. One feels that fried dough is more filling while the other argues that the cake-like texture of funnel cake is more light and crispy. Listening to them heatedly argue the merits of each, I wonder if this is how the Civil War really began, pitting brother against brother (Hot cakes! No, Johnny Cakes!) Personally, I’ll choose funnel cake every time. After all, how can you not love something that contains the words “fun” and “cake”?
Last weekend I discovered Canobie Lake Park is an equal opportunity purveyor of both. After patiently waiting in line for funnel cake, I guided my children to a nearby table and was ready to dig in when a friend from my town spied me and stopped to say hi. I must have seemed crazy, trying to carry on a conversation while swatting my children’s hands away from all that steamy, sugary goodness. It took every ounce of effort to smile and remain composed while inside my mind was screaming, “Good God, woman, can’t you see there’s funnel cake at stake here?” We finished our chat just in time for me to grab the last few scraps of that sugarcoated delicacy. If only we had ordered fried dough, the loss would have been tolerable.
Ah well, that’s life. It’s best not to dwell, but instead move forward with whatever important choice life brings next: Candy apples? Or caramel apples?
Laura Anderson is a wife and mother who writes about life from her home in Hanover. She considers all incidents with family, friends and strangers fair game for her column.
