The Globglogabgalab moaned. “Oohm, hahaha, mmm, splendid, simply delicious,” he told Stingy.
This day in the sex dungeon was very good. Chara was cleared of all charges, and now they could operate their sex dungeon in Monika’s basem*nt without worry. It was better than before, because now they had Dio helping out with the uwu time. Or lack of time because haha Dio, the funny ZA WARUDO man.
Another character in our story, Mumbo K. Jumbo, was very sad. He had learned that Colonel Cornelius Cornwall dies in Endgame. He decided to go to the sex dungeon’s piano and play the coffin dance song. Unfortunately, there was someone on the piano, reclining and feeding himself grapes.
“Epic Style,” he said. The sexy man on the piano kicked Mumbo K. Jumbo off of the seat with his sexy leg, before playing Death By Glamour.
This was a very sad day for Mumbo, as his friend, Okuyasu Nijimura, was in jail for unauthorized MILF hunting. He was guilty, of course, but Mumbo still wanted to bang Okuyasu without having to break into the prison. He had resorted to this method before, and it resulted in https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUPV4OfNlt0. Suddenly, the owner of the Sex Dungeon, Chara, approached Mumbo.
“Oh? You’re approaching me?” asked Mumbo.
“I can’t ask what you’re doing in my sex dungeon without getting closer,” they responded.
“I see. Then come as close as you like,” Mumbo told them.
“What are you doing in my sex dungeon?” asked Chara, quoting one of their idols, Shrek.
And then, with that quote, Minoru Mineta died. It was a cute death, with funny music. It sounded like, “Creeper, aw man. So we back in the mine, got our pickaxe swinging from side to side, side side to side.” The sound of this was heard by both Mumbo and Chara, and their Stand battle was interrupted.
“f*ck, why do people keep dying in my sex dungeon?” Chara asked themself. “That’s the 69,420th death today.” They went to the grape chamber, a special sexy room made for Minoru, and hoisted his smol corpse over their shoulder. Mineta took this opportunity to grab Chara’s ass, despite being dead.
“For that, you’ll be made into wine for Polpo,” said Chara.
Chara took Mineta’s body and violently swung it over their head and onto the floor. They did this several times, until Mineta was Made Into a wine. They grabbed a condom from nearby and poured his matter into it, they would mail it to Polpo later. There was more business to attend to. They knew Mumbo’s friend, Okuyasu, and wanted him out of jail as well. He was an invaluable ass to the sex dungeon.
Another matter on their mind was that they had recently found out who Joe was. The FBI was after them, since that was information that could only be found by raiding Area 51. The truth is, Joe was actually Joe Biden, the top Stand user in the United States. His Stand, Will You Just Shut Up Man, could f*cking kill Donald Trump if he wanted to. But Joe Biden was morally sound. He would wait. He was also America’s sexiest moderate. This fact was proven true by the excellent coloring book, A Hot Cup of Joe. Chara went to Bitchpants’ Sexy Food Hole to pick up some garlic bread. They had h o n g e r . Guts Man was there, making toast. Oh my god yes
“Hm, how are you today, Chara-Chan? Do you feel your sins crawl on your back?” Said Guts Man.
“Yes, but I’m afraid I don’t have enough monet to pay for this b r e a d . Is that alright?”
Guts Man laughed. “Sorry, Chara. I can’t give credit. Come back when you’re a little, mmm, richer.”
Chara was flustered. Guts Man was a thing that was going to cause them to lose sleep at night, and was therefore their enemy. They brought out their Stand, Globglogabgalab.
“Sorry, Guts Man. It’s time for you to do the Kakyoin challenge.” They punched a hole through his stomah, making him succ in pain. He exploded, and Chara acquired the Energy Element: Super Ass. This would be very handy, especially in regards to their current profession. “Oh no,” said no one.
“f*ck, maybe I should go to class.” Said Monika Doki Doki Literature Club, using her f*cking brain for 69 times.
Chara’s financer, Eggman, approached them. “Chara, we need to talk. Ever since Shadow pissed on my f*cking wife and I used all of our profit to kill him, we’re doing poorly in the stonks department.”
“Well I wonder whose f*cking fault that is,” Chara said.
“Well, I’m sorry, but that moon needed pissing on. I was so f*cking horny of people not seeing my gargantuan shlong.”
“Ah, you wanted to do the Vector challenge,” Chara realized.
“Yeah, he’s my favorite anime character. Anyway, we need more stonks. I was thinking some kind of sale to attract more customers. Maybe you could get your, uh ‘friend’ to join us.”
“Frisk-Chan?” Chara asked. “They don’t seem like the sex dungeon type. They have a soul. And smol tit*.” Frisk did not have a soul, actually, since Chara did the Stingy Challenge and stole it. They had forgotten this, though. It was a busy life being Chara.
“Well, what other ways could we raise monet? What can we sell?” Said Eggman.
“We could start producing Colonel Cornelius Cornwall buttpl*gs,” Chara suggested.
“We could, but, it would be inconveniencing for the customers. They would have to come down today, and get some, or we would have to sacrifice their newborn,” said Eggman.
“f*ck their newborns,” said Chara. “They don’t give us anything. I eat Little Baby’s Ice Cream, analways.”
“Holy schist, what the hecc happened.” Said Fred, most likely in the future.
When Chara got home after a long day’s work, they decided to do 20 minutes of gentle stretches and drink a glass of warm milk before bed. That way they could sleep like a baby, and wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. They sat down on the couch, and turned on the television. Their favorite anime, Cory in the House, was on. They relaxed and listened to the calming music.
“We interrupt this program to bring you b r e a k i n g n e w s , “ came the voice of local reporter Toby “Determined” Fox.
“Aw, f*ck, what is it now?” Chara said out loud.
“This just in, someone has been touchin the child,” said Toby. Chara was mortified. No one had touched the child in years. The child has never been touched since Yoshikage Kira was put in prison for touching the child, proclaiming that it needs to be, “more like him.”
“Well, I guess I’ll just have to wait and see who touched the child, and then I’ll take them to my special Sex Hell,” mused Chara. “In the meantime, I’m gonna go s u c c Frisk-Chan’s a s s .”
Chara went to their bedroom and started succing Frisk-Chan’s ass. It was always delightful, no matter how many times they did it. However, in this moment of ecstasy, something was off. While they were lying on the bed with Frisk-Chan, they felt something with their arm when they repositioned themself. It felt like another person, but there was nothing near to feel. They stopped the s u c c i n g to investigate. They felt around the area where their arm had touched the thing, but there was nothing there. With this suspicion, they had an idea.
“Oh Frisk-Chan, Minoru Mineta died today,” proclaimed Chara. This meant little to Frisk-Chan, but Chara heard a small, “Yay!” from somewhere in the room. Their suspicions were confirmed.
“Toru, you can come out. I know you’re here.” And so, she did. Toru Hagakure was Chara’s ex-girlfriend, and they hadn’t been in contact for some time now.
“I’m sorry, Chara, but when I saw Frisk-Chan, I became moister than a sponge. We had to go somewhere, and the sex dungeon was the only sensible place,” said Toru
“Bungus, what the f*ck is this.” Said Monika Doki Doki Literature Club, confused.
“You left, and the sh*tpost nature of the story was out of balance. You need to be here to make it work,” said Bungus.
“I just f*cked your sister,” said Monika, f*cking Bungus’s sister, who doesn’t exist, so Monika is still a virgin lol
Giorno’s theme played. It would not stop. Everyone was turned on at the piano part. Dio heard this as well, and he was proud to have raised such a sexually active son. He hoped that Giorno would one day become a priest f*cker, just like his father. In fact, Dio once had another son, who was to be Giorno’s legitimate brother. However, this was not to be true, for Slimecicle came in the night, and sacrificed this baby. Dio did not come down and get some corn that day, and he had payed the price. Dio was also self-conscious about his man-boobs, and was thankful that Giorno did not have the same fate as Part 3. He was almost envious of Giorno’s s l i c c , s l i m m, and s e x Part 5 artstyle.
“Ass.” Said Rick Sanchez, most likely quoting God.
What fresh hell is this
Mineta’s bloody, wine-condom corpse, meanwhile, had regained sentience through Gold Experience. He located Rick, who had turned himself into a pickle, and laughed. It was the funniest sh*t he’d ever seen. He took the 60-70-ish year old man-pickle, and slowly shoved him up his ass. Earlier, Mineta gained a Stand through Black Sabbath. His Stand was Sabbra Cadabra. And now, with his pickle ass and Stand, Mineta was ready to eat Jesus. Uh
Jesus, who had appeared at some race in the US, was fearful. He did not want to be eaten by a grape boy with a pickle man in his ass. He would have to use his massive Joestar schlong to fend him off, after all, he was the original JoJo. His Stand, Holy Night, would help as well. Jesus was sexy, indeed.
- Achievement get! How Did We Get Here? - that f*cking epic Minecraft sound effect played, that one when you get a goal or something.
In Hell, Satan was worried. With the Stand battle between Jesus and Mineta soon to come, people would see how sexy Jesus was, and would no longer be turned on by Satan like Bungus.
Meanwhile, Rick was f*cking dying. He did not belong in asses. He was also wondering, if someone ate him, is that vore? Or just normal eating of pickle
“Suppose that you were sitting down at this table. The napkins are in front of you, which napkin would you take? The one on your ‘left’? Or the one on your ‘right’? The one on your left side? Or the one on your right side? Usually you would take the one on your left side. That is ‘correct’ too. But in a larger sense on society, that is wrong. Perhaps I could even substitute ‘society’ with the ‘Universe’. The correct answer is that ‘It is determined by the one who takes his or her own napkin first.’ …Yes? If the first one takes the napkin to their right, then there’s no choice but for others to also take the ‘right’ napkin. The same goes for the left. Everyone else will take the napkin to their left, because they have no other option. This is ‘society’… Who are the ones that determine the price of land first? There must have been someone who determined the value of money, first. The size of the rails on a train track? The magnitude of electricity? Laws and Regulations? Who was the first to determine these things? Did we all do it, because this is a Republic? Or was it Arbitrary? NO! The one who took the napkin first determined all of these things! The rules of this world are determined by that same principle of ‘right or left?’! In a Society like this table, a state of equilibrium, once one makes the first move, everyone must follow! In every era, this World has been operating by this napkin principle. And the one who ‘takes the napkin first’ must be someone who is respected by all. It’s not that anyone can fulfill this role… Those that are despotic or unworthy will be scorned. And those are the ‘losers’. In the case of this table, the ‘eldest’ or the ‘Master of the party’ will take the napkin first… Because everyone ‘respects’ those individuals” Said Goat mom awodpajd;jwlkdaej mama haeuoh3d papa said frisk, quoting heats flamesman, around the time he disco girl coming through that girl is you vered.
Meanwhile, flowey and joseph were producing some tentacle hentai.
me at 3 am when my dad finds me eating cheese
What’s wrong?
Don’t you want to T O U C H T H E C H I L D
As Jesus approached the grape boi, he realized Mineta’s weakness. He had never played Minecraft, so he knew nothing of combat. Jesus just wanted his alcohol. Mineta’s grape form would be perfect for making a nice glass of wine. If he could make water into wine, perverts into wine should be just as easy.
“Kahoot time.” Said Spider Man. This has nothing to do with the story, Spider Man just wants to take a Kahoot on Ryuko Matoi.
“Why am I Spider Man.” Asked Tony Stark. He was worried that he and MJ would be put into another movie. No this is Patrick
“I think it says something about our school system if I can win our Kahoot by about 2000 points and yet be almost failing the class.” Said Susie Deltarune, who was observing Alphys’ teaching skills. “I hope Rouxls Kaard gives me more tasty worms in Deltarune Chapter 2.”
For the sake of everyone’s sanity, Dio used The World Over Heaven to erase reality.
“Now, we’ll start a story all anew, right? With better, more indulging characters. Who might those characters be? Us. Your cries of, “Why is this a thing, Bungus” and “I can’t write sh*t.” Are merely adding to what I can create. I am the master of reality, you fools. Join, or die. Or, a third option. We keep on with what we have made, and never change into a more serious tone. The choice is yours to make,” said Bungus, reminding everyone he is god. Gods turn Monika on. “Write the next sentence, Monika. What will it be?”
Uwu no uwu
“So, you have chosen death.” BDSM
“God, Chara makes me so f*cking horny,” said Peter Parker, who was playing a Kahoot on the subject of Ryuko Matoi. “Every time I go to the Throne Room and kill the flower I get a massive ERECTION.”
Hagakure, meanwhile, was tired. She had had a long day of stalking Chara, so she decided to sit down and read her favorite manga, Warriors by Erin Hunter. Toru had decided a while ago that her husbando was Graystripe. He was the sexiest character by far. She only loved him in a spiritual sense, because she didn’t want her friends to think she wanted to f*ck cats. If Graystripe was a human, however, she would bang his brains out until they were all on the floor. Until he was crying and begging her to stop.
And, in the middle of fantasizing about sexually tiring the man of her dreams, Toru was interrupted by Storyshift Mettaton, the hottest version of Mettaton there is. True
“Toru! You must come with me! Toriel is going to find Frisk-Chan’s poop sock if we don’t hurry!” Mettaton exclaimed.
“I can’t come. I’m expecting a shipment.” Said Toru.
“Oh?”
“I have a hentai crate coming, and I don’t want to miss it.”
“Can’t you just wait for it to be delivered and then pick it up later?”
“I could, but if I leave it around, people will ji*zz all over it.”
“Ah. Makes sense.”
A note on this story. In this world, there are no churches. Because there is no God. Except Stingy.
I have a special plan for this world.
I call it, “Never Gonna Give You Up.”
Never shall anyone be given up.
Never shall anyone be let down.
Never shall anyone be ran around.
Never shall anyone be bonked for being horny for Storyshift Mettaton.
People may harden their dongs and moisten their vagin*s without fear.
Fear of the bonk.
Fear of the horny jail.
People will be taught to mother as Toriel does.
To respecc the growth of their children, and encourage their learning and self-discovery.
To appreciate their sexy times. Cumming 8 times a day
I have a special plan for this world.
The Wet Hands. The Wet Hands the master musician speaks of.
These hands are wet with ji*zz.
The Dry Hands. The Dry Hands that are spoken of.
These hands are the hands of someone who has not seen Storyshift Mettaton. This took a turn
The Globglogabgalab still laughed. He was laughing. Laughing laughing laughing laughing.
He had eaten them all.
The books had all been read.
He was complete.
His path of Genocide was finished.
But, he wanted to go back.
He thought he was in control.
He never was.
There was only Storyshift Mettaton. And Woody Allen. And Chara. And various other beings of lesser importance.
Beings, who cannot cause t h e h o r n .
Chara was depressed. They had not seen someone nude in minutes. They needed some lovin’. Bad. Really bad. They entered another dimension, and located Storyshift Chara, who had done the Sans challenge. Both of them were the horn, so they banged each other so goddamn bad.
Chara was also depressed from another thing. Two gods, whose only identifications are M and B, have decided they are the sex god. They did not always want this. They don't have anything to do with sex in canon. But M decided that they do. Because M designates which things are h o t . They wanted to be respectful, and slightly less hot. But, this curse was upon their head, ever since M and B roleplayed as her and Frisk-Chan on the internet.
Droopy Remembers His Time In Chara’s Employ. Droopy looks to forget. Droopy looks under a tree, desperately searching for someone who can ease his pain. No one is there. Droopy looks under a tree. Droopy’s mind is enormous. He knows he will never forget, yet seeks to do so anyway. Droopy runs to hide in a cave. Droopy hides so no one can hear his sobbing. Droopy sobs to the point he chokes on his breath between tears. Droopy’s pain is an unkillable monster. It runs in his veins, into his heart, inside his mind, laughing. He can never forget. He always thinks he can, but he never will. There were things done to him. Things happened to his body. They still happen in his nightmares. He wakes up in perspire and tears on some nights, knowing that the pain and the memories of Chara will never stop.
Droopy finds a building.
Droopy finds a nice balcony.
Droopy finds air.
Droopy finds solid ground.
Droopy finds peace.
M also never writes anything and leaves it all up to B. This annoys B.
Wait I just realized that you said Woody Allen causes people to be horny
Yeah, your point? Ok
I poured salt on a large slug
I watched how the slug writhed and squirmed
It tried to escape me and my burning salt h o t
The slug made no sound
But I'm sure if I were turned inside out and dipped in salt, I would scream
I remember how the slug glistened and resperated
Until I put the salt on it
And how it tried to get away secreting a yellowish green mucus
In great quantities that bubbled slightly
My fascination turned to revoltion as the slug writhed and tossed from side to side
Secreting even more yellow green mucus to try and beat the salt
It was a losing battle for the slug
Cause when it had succeeded in rubbing some of the salt off with great effort
I would simply turn the salt shaker on the slug again and start over
Eventually I got bored and left the slug still writhing in vain
Trying to get free of the salt that eventually sucked the slug dry
Later I imagined that my whole body was a tongue and I was dipped in salt…
f*ck I don’t want to this to be the name of the tab I’m in
Ha
That’s worse s t o p I think we have a winner
This
HA
YES I still don’t want a tab called that
Pretty much any name we put in will result in a cursed tab yeah
Well, any name that suits the content
My child, please…
succ ass
“Oh, yeah! Mario time!” proclaimed Mario Mario, before f*cking Okuyasu’s mom to assert dominance. Luigi Mario, his brother, assisted him. It was delightful. Really delightful. Much better sex than with Peach or Daisy or one of the Toads, or Kamek or Bowser, one of their favorites. Bowser was voted best sex machine of the Nintendo universe eight times in a row. Although, he lost to Monika once she got added to the Switch, technically becoming a Nintendo character. Anyways, Wait Does Okuyasu’s Mom Have A Name If She Does Erase This And Put It Here No She’s Dead was not too bothered by having a threesome with the Mario brothers. They were very hot, especially with their t h i c c mustaches and stereotypical accents that Nintendo somehow still gets away with.
“Ơ̴̡̙͚͍̼͚͕̦͈̈́͂̋̿͑̃͊̊̉̾̏̋͑ķ̶̮̦̝̱̯̰͕̰̜̤̯̼͛̅̎́̑̓͜i̴͈̗̎̋͝͝e̴̫̥̲̿̽̄̋ ̵̧̧̙̘̇̓̆͂̀̇͐͆̊͂́̿̈́͘d̷̡̠̙͔͖̯̤̬̘͙͎̼̫̊̕͜ǫ̷̤̬͚͍͔͚̱̳̦̂́͛̏͋̾̑̿̀̕ͅk̷͙̘̪̤̲̬̘̹̙̥͕̻̼̭̰̒̔͌̈̍͘͘͝͝i̴̧͓̤̾̈́̓͛̏͝e̷̼̰͇̮͍̟̭̮̋͗̎͗͑̍̚͝ ̵̗͎̲̄̍̉̓̍̈́̏̌̓m̷̧̱͖̤̪̏̉̾̏̐̒̓̒̅̾͝a̷͇̓͒̚m̴̡̤̜̳͈̾͐̑̎̔̍̓͊̇a̴̧͎̲̤̯͛̿̽̇́̽̿͠ͅ ̷͙͚̤̗̝̗̺̩̳͔̟̋̒̈̅̍͜͝͝ͅm̶̨̢̫̟̰͈͖̣̞͈̳̱͖̅̉́̍͂̒͑͗̄̂̅̓͗̆̂ỉ̴̼̱̬̠̹̠͓̥̞̹̮̺̽̌̃̃a̸̧̢͖̙̫̙̙̯̯̻̻͚͔̓̃̅̀͗͆̿͑̈́͘̕ͅ”, proclaimed Mario, and he spoke the truth.
Gooigi died. He learned of the Gravity Falls fanfiction, The Time Dipper and Mabel Took A Shower Together. Wait Does Okuyasu’s Mom Have A Name If She Does Erase This And Put It Here No She’s Dead had told him about it. She did this, of course, to prevent more people joining their soon-to-be orgy type thing. She did not want the s t i c c y o n e joining them.
“T̵̛̻͎̣͓̝͆̓̇͐͑ĥ̷̹̗̯͎̼̣̀̈́̅͋̀̇̐͑̕͝͝i̶̡̮͇̝̭̻͙͕͍̫͂͋͂̌ŝ̸̡̨̨̛͚̞̻̦̱͕͙̞̰͚͗͑̈́̿̋͊̈́̉͊̌̎͐͝ͅ ̶̨̡̧̡̹̦͖͇̗̞͎̖̬̠͌͘͜i̷͈̞̞̐̃̐̈͑̏͝s̷̨̓̊̅̓̈́̓ ̶̟̫͎̭̘̻͙͍̯͛͂̃̀̽͊͠͝͝n̶̹̫̻̹͖̞̭̮͎̄̓͑͐̆͊̈́̒̇̑̄̃̒̂̚o̸͓̼͉̲̫̱͓̣̣͉͕̭͒͒̂̆́̀̇̔̕͜ͅt̵̛̛̖̟̪͖̺͖̎̅̆̑̓ ̷̢̢̨̬̟̠̜̜̜͇̙̣͎̳͙̃̐̿̍͋͐̃̈́̔̌̔͊̈́͠o̵͖͔̞̟̳̽̿͂̀͆̌ķ̶̢͎̰͉̱̱͕͙̞̝͕͈̓̃̒̔i̵̡̢͉̰͒́̍̂̎̉̈͝ę̵̢̯̮̟̳̹̘̮̝̦͍͍̾͛̇̇ ̷̨̟̺̘̳̭̝̣̦̠̘̮̮̒͐͋̃̽̈̄̎͋̄d̸̢̗̱̥͈̬̦͔̞͐̽̏̆̃͒̉̇̚͜͝͠ǫ̸̧̞̹̣̘̦̟͉̼͚̻̭̞̱̿̿̃̏̿̾̎̏̈́ķ̸̨̡͍͉̠̳̣͓͈̹͚̐̓̇̀́̿͐́͐̒̂͆̚͜í̴̟̦̊e̵̦̟̒͌̈̇͜” said Mario, #depressed from his brother’s death. He almost didn’t enjoy owo uwuing Okuyasu’s mom.
The Globglogabgalab desired Bungus, because he had many ways to vore children. In his amazing stomah, there lived Rick Sanchez, a f*cking sexy pickle man. Inside Pickles, the sh*tty strip of LazyTown, was Stingy’s gargantuan collection of dild*s, which ranged from ẗ̶̼̮̰̖̱̞̖̽̑̊͗̇̓̓̕͘͝͝͝ ̸̨̛͍̟̜͊͊̌͋̒̓̏ḩ̷̢͓̬̟͇̪͇̱͙̩̼̥̈́̀͛̿̓͆̽̔͝ ̴̨̛̬̘͕̳̻̳͓̜̠̬̐͋̋̓͂̉͛̚ị̶̡̖͕́̾̆͌̏̕̚ ̶̳͎̺̳̗̥̜͗̔̔̏̓̀̅̆̄͘͜͝ͅċ̴̠̐̇̔͂̉̌̋̋̚͘̚͘͠ ̷̟͉͕͓͇̬͔̟̬́̊͑̈̾̚ͅç̸̧͈͈̥̩͉͙̬̫̗̱̞̞̫͐̽̾̋̕ to s̵̻͓̠̬͇̘̱͚̼̝͊̽͂̂̍͋̒̾̆̃̈́̌̚̚͜͝ ̶̢̢̞͙͕̙̺̟̤̰͙͑͝m̴̢̨͉̥̞͓͉͕͖̑̒̿̇̊͘͜͜ ̸̜̣͈̀̈́́͠ȏ̸̘̜̦̦̘̏̾͆̂͆̋̏̇̃͠͠ ̵̡̟͙̬̱͖͚͈͉́̾͊̍̈́̐̓̓̋̈́̄̕l̸̲͉͌̉̓̑. He took one and beat the f*cking sh*t out of Shigechi without any cum in Shigechi’s foot leaking inside Stingy’s scrotum. Shigechi had two balls, as did nobody else, except Eggman. His spikes were covered in goddamn Ralsei’s ass.
“f*ck!” shouted Eggman. He didn’t want Ralsei’s ass all over his balls. He only liked goat asses with white fur. He was ŗ̸̨̛͕̱̭̭͉̱̺̺̠̈̀̽̆͑́̅̈̓̐̒́͜͠ ̵͙͊a̴͙̣̲̒͊̀̀̓͗̈̇̉̃͠͝ ̴̧̲͙̤̝͕̣̻̑͂͛̄͊̉̽͂͛̽̓̉̚͝͝c̷̬̘̯̰̘̳̻͉̩̐͒͒̈́́͆̏̏̎͌̀͒͜͠͝͝ͅ ̸̞̪͓͙̦̌̾̆̇͊͗͒̽͌͠͝͠͠i̵̢̘̯̒̉̓̃ ̶̛͎̮͍̓̀̐́̀̇́͛͑͝͝s̸̲̖̻̔̒́̿ ̷̺̹̦̞͕̠͍̐̿͌͒͐̓͗̀̍̆͋̂͒ţ̶̩͇͌̈͆̾̍̅̂̀͒͗́͠. He ate racism for breakfast. He also ate Little Baby’s Ice Cream, which kept him young, and light on his feet.
Eggman went home after a long day of work. He decided to go to his bedroom, where he witnessed Shadow the Hedgehog pissing on his f*cking wife. He was enraged, only he could piss on wives. Shadow was a hedgehog, and therefore made any pissing a kind of bestial*ty, which fun fact actually does happen in Sonic ‘06. Eggman decided to become Sans Undertale, so he could do the Sans Dance and f*cking kill Shadow. Shadow’s corpse followed the path of genocide. It was gonna have a bad time. Eggman stood there, he must prevail. Shadow wasn’t gonna like what happened next. If he stepped forward, he was gonna get wrecked. For everyone Eggman could not protect, here and now he’d end this tale. It was time to stop this bloody trail.that isn’t how it goes you f*cking idiot yeah but the order isn’t correct anyways
Suddenly, Kira appeared. He found Eggman’s wife, and removed her hands. They soon became the Wet Hands. Ah yes
“What have we done?” said Bungus.
I sit down at my desk, lost for ideas. I’d like to finish this script well before the deadline, but I have a week to spare. I’ll be fine for today. I open up Reddit, and go to r/memes. I laugh at the stupidity of my fellow humans. But then. I read the comments of one post, and I hear tell of a Subreddit I’ve never heard of before. I click the link, and am transported to ‘r/imsorryjon’. Instantly a wave of fear rushes over me. I can’t describe it. Never in my life have I been so afraid for my life.
“Give me the lasagna,” comes a voice from behind me. I turn around slowly. Something drips from the ceiling.
Nothing is there. There’s a puddle of some unknown fluid on the ceiling, dripping down onto the floor. It looks sticky. I break out into a cold sweat.
“Don’t be afraid,” comes the voice again. It sounds like a demon has possessed some kind of small creature.
Is… is this Garfield? The one from Reddit?
“As long as you give me a lasagna, you won’t be hurt. If you don’t…” Garfield’s words hung in the air. I felt something brush my neck. I slowly turn back towards the computer. The demon is there. I can smell his breath. It smells like lasagna. His tongue, around 10 feet long, is wrapped around my neck entirely now.
“I- I don’t have any lasagna!” I cried. “Um… I could buy you some at the store, if you want-” my words are cut off by Garfield tightening his hold on my neck.
“Fool!” Garfield screams. “I do not eat store-bought lasagna! Only the finest, from Luigi’s or Paisano’s!”
I can’t even make a sound now. I can’t breathe. My eyes start to black out. The last words I hear are the demon’s true intentions.
“ I̷̢̨̡̙̥̭̖̥̩͙̣̹̜̺̩͗̇ '̸̢̬͖̝͎͒̀ ḷ̵̢̪̯̟̞̣̤͇̂̒̉̒̓̓͆̋́͛͌̍́̚͝ l̵̨͙͍̮̻̬͂̓̆̍̎̏̈ ̸̭̻͕̯͍̗̤̳̦̯̓̽̾̅̈́̄̈́̅̑̆͝ m̸̛̠̘̙͔͕̥̬̠̿̊͒́̀̋̂͑̆͆͜͝͠ a̴̜̘̖͕͕͈̦̲̬̬̍͆̽̔̋̿̄̈́̎͛̚͘͜ͅ ḱ̶̨͓̺̜͙͔̗͕̍̅̀̎́̕͝ ë̵͖͖̻͇̖̤̪͇͓͖͉͚́̃͌ ̵̪̬̘̤̥̠͖̩̖͋̆̒̔́͜͠ͅỳ̴̥̈̃͋̈͠ ö̶̡͕͎̘͕͕͉̙̞̘̦̟́͐͑͌͘ u̷̡̖͎̗͇̫̜͙̹͎̰̔̃̍̈́̇̉̈́̑̒̎̏̆͝ ̸̝̦̦͔̄̓́̒̈́͊̔̚͜i̷͙̖̺͓̪͚̟̼͈͔̗͐̑͒̓̉͗́̌̃͒̕͜ n̴̡̛̰̝̩͙̽̍̔̓̃͋̉̀̚ ţ̵̢̬̭͉̹͖͔̩̏͌̉͗́̑ ǫ̸̹͖̙̞͍̥̠̫̹͙͓̥̠̒̎̈́̐̓͋̓͊̂͠͠ͅ ̸͖̪̪̟̞͂͒̀̓̀̍͋͂͝l̶̨̢͓̙̻̭̘͔̤͉͙̹͑̏͌͌̉͜ a̸̢̨͉̣̖͍̦̗͎̭̹̞͐ s̷͓̳̩̙̆̈́̉̓͗̌̓͝ a̷̧̻̖̟̼̗͚̐̀ g̸̩̰͕̠̦̝͙̲̱̫̉ͅ n̵̥̫̱̳̦͉̙͔̼͖͔͒͜ à̴̜̗̹͕̏̿͑̃̽ . ”
Garfield goes up to Bingus’s house and f*cking kills him for not having any lasagna. Monika later died that day from sexual exhaustion. The reader also died, from crushing on a fictional character too f*cking hard. And then Diavolo died, meaning that this is all canon in the JoJo universe. Suddenly, a tiny man came out of Garfield's ass, and announced himself as everyone’s mom. Monika asked who he was, and he said he was Shigeru Miyamoto, and he had f*cked Masahiro Sakurai. Miyamoto succed the thicc cat’s massive dong until he ejacul*ted Sakurai, covered in cum and cat hair. He then announced that everyone would be added to Smash in the form of free dlc.
What the actual f*ck Bingus
Jon arrived, and had a Stand battle with Garfield.
Jon’s Stand, Bad Romance, had the ability to EAT Garfield, however first Grafeld used his 「Sex Survey Results Requiem」to make Jon be stuck in an infinite loop, much like Diavolo. However, instead of dying, Jon was stuck having to constantly answer the phone and have people tell him their name and how many sexual partners they had ever had.
Jon screamed, as for both the first and last time he was forced to answer the phone.
“Who is it?” Jon asked nicely. He couldn’t risk strangers thinking poorly of him, that would be b a d .
“Yoshikage Kira.”
“Yoshikage Kira, who?” asked Jon. He was being really funny.
“Yoshikage Kira, um, well, if you’re only counting living people, one. I met this cute girl at work, we went home, you get the idea.”
The phone hung up.
Jon screamed, as for both the first and last time he was forced to answer the phone.
“Who is it?” Jon asked nicely. He couldn’t risk strangers thinking poorly of him, that would be b a d .
“Yoshikage Kira.”
“Yoshikage Kira, who?” asked Jon. He was being really funny.
“Hi, it’s, uh, me again. I wanted to make this call separate from the other, just in case you want to, uh, ignore this one. So, like, I said one 1, but it’s really like 20, if you count people who are dead. I like, cut off these women’s… hands? And then f*ck them, uhm. Not sure if this counts, so, again, feel free to ignore this call if you want, thanks, bye.”
Jon cried. He didn’t want to experience this forever. However, this… was Requiem. He was unable to even EAT Garfield with his Stand.
