This $35,000, Diamond-Encrusted Bottle Of Ranch Dressing Could Be Yours (2024)

Updated post: March 10, 2018 at 7:45 p.m. EST

Though the $35,000 bottle of ranch dressing is fit for royalty, Hidden Valley has clarified that it doesn't intend to send the bedazzled bottle as a wedding gift for Prince Harry and Megan Markle. You can still win it and claim it as yours by following the instructions below.

Original post: March 8, 2018 at 6:13 p.m. EST

As the royal staff meticulously chronicles every gift Prince Harry and Meghan Markle receive on their wedding day — as is royal custom, after all — historians will undoubtedly have a few surprising additions to the mix. Nobody will know for sure what that entails until May 19, when the couple exchanges vows, but it seems Hidden Valley Ranch has already picked out its gift. And it's about as blinged-out 'Murica as you can imagine.

Plebeians of the world, feast your eyes on this 18-carat white gold bottle of ranch dressing, which is trimmed in diamonds and sapphires. An "A-list celebrity jeweler" designed the bottle, according to the press release, which is meant to honor "the great pairing of a fellow famous American with British royalty," as well as "remind her of the familiar flavors of her home country."

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This bottle's no joke. It's covered in 75 carats' worth of jewels, making it valued at $35,000. You could almost buy three brand-new Nissan Versas for that.

But Hidden Valley knows you can't put a price tag on love, be it the holy matrimony kind or the condiment-you-drizzle-on-everything variety. Sorry, billionaires of the world — you can't buy your way into owning this status symbol. You've got to be Harkle (that's their celebrity name, right?). Or be America's most dedicated fan.

That's right — the company that brought you the ranch keg and ranch dressing fountain commissioned a second $35,000 bottle, and it's giving it away on social media. All you have to do to enter is retweet @HVRanch's post about the bottle between March 10 (AKA National Ranch Day) and May 19. The winner — who'll basically become American royalty by association — will be announced a few weeks later.

May the odds be ever in your favor.

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