Tip Jar - starling011 - Harry Potter (2024)

Chapter 1: Surprise Me

Chapter Text

Remus glanced up when the bell over the door rang and quickly marked his page and dropped his book into the small space behind the register as he stood to greet the new customers. They were new. He had never seen them before. Two young men, probably the same age as he was. They both had the careless grace that spoke of too much money and far too much free time. Even if the grace of their movements hadn’t told him as much their outfits would have.

The taller of the two had bright hazel eyes behind gold-rimmed square glasses. His skin was deeply tan and he had a mop of untamed black hair on the top of his head. He wore dark wash jeans that fit a little too perfect to be anything but tailored. His shirt was plain but obviously, name-brand, and his shoes were brand new and clean.

The other obviously tried to appear counter-culture from the dark artfully distressed skinny jeans, converse shoes, bright white t-shirt, leather jacket, the earrings hanging from both ears and one sleeve pushed up to reveal a tattoo. His hair was carefully arranged to look effortless, his eyeliner a bit too perfect around startling mercurial eyes. It was too clean and trying too hard. Genuine counterculture didn’t try so hard to be seen.

Didn’t mean Remus wasn’t into it. “Good afternoon. What can I get you?” Remus asked. The tan man looked at the menu over his head but the other was looking at him. Remus tried not to feel self-conscious. Most of his scars were hidden but the three deep gouges on his face he couldn’t hide. He saw the smile falter for the briefest second.

“I’ll have a small vanilla latte for James. Is Lily in today?” James asked as Remus reached for a cup and quickly wrote the name on the cup before hitting a button on the computer.

“Lily told me that if a James came in looking for her that she has moved to America until further notice,” Remus answered and James cursed but looked good-natured about the whole thing. He paid Remus and dumped change along with a five in the tip jar.

“I mean better for your pride, bruv. How many times has she shot you down?” the other asked and James shrugged as Remus pulled the espresso shot. He should be taking the other order but they seemed content to talk as he worked.

“Ten times… but she always tells me to ask again next time I see her. If she told me off and meant it I would leave her alone,” James sounded like he meant it. Remus made a mental note to tell Lily that if she wanted James to leave her alone she should stop giving him hope. He set the cup down on the counter and returned to the computer.

“And for you?” Remus asked. Quicksilver eyes flickered to the menu before moving back to his face. Eyes very obviously traced his scars before grey eyes moved to his.

“Surprise me,” was the response. Remus felt his eyebrow go up.

“I could make you the most outrageously priced drink with a request like that,” Remus informed him. A smirk appeared on that annoyingly perfect face.

“All right, I have a number in my head of how much I want to spend here. Every cent I don’t spend on a drink I put in your tip jar,” he responded and Remus felt his back go up. He didn’t need that kind of tip from an entitled asshole.

“Keep your tip,” Remus removed the jar from the counter before punching in the same drink he’d just made for James. He didn’t bother asking for a name. He simply set the cup down and returned to the computer. A twenty sat innocently on the counter.

“Keep the change,” the other called before joining James at a table. Remus thought briefly about being petty and returning it but honestly, nearly seventeen pounds was welcome. Tips at the restaurant had been stingy since school started up again. College kids were less generous than summer tourists.

Remus swept the change into the jar and placed it back in front of the register as he settled back in his stool. He was allowed to sit when he had no other duties. Right now James and his friend were his only table and all his other cleaning and stocking duties were done. He picked up his book and read glancing up every other page or so.

He had made a decent dent in the chapter when the two stood up and tossed their garbage. They bid Remus good afternoon before leaving. Remus got up to clean up the table. Another five was tucked under the napkin holder. Wasn’t trying to be a jerk, just flirting… badly, S. Remus swallowed as he glanced out the window. He could see the backs of the two making their way down the street.

Flirting with Remus… why? His mind swirled as he reset the table and returned to his stool. Nothing else came up before his relief showed up at four. He didn’t have time to ponder it. He rushed onto the bus and tried not to get too stressed by the press of people. He hopped off on his stop and rushed into the back.

He stripped the coffeehouse uniform for his server uniform and made his way to a computer clocking in at exactly five. He greeted Lily at the host station while checking his section. “James came by today,” Remus informed her, seeing he had a bar rotation. That was nice. The section was a bit small but the tips were usually good.

“Oh, and how heartbroken was he that I wasn’t there?” she asked, her green eyes lighting up as she made a note that he was here and Alice was taking a break.

“Considered boarding a plane to follow you,” Remus fudged and she grinned recognizing that he was teasing her. “You should just tell him you’re not interested.” Remus secured the knot of his apron.

“I am interested but I am not going to just go on a date because he thinks I’m cute in my little apron or whatever,” Lily pointed out and Remus frowned at her.

“That sounds like the girls who play those games we hate. ‘No means yes, and f*ck off means take me, I’m yours’” Remus reminded her. Lily frowned at him.

“I’m a curvy woman, Remus and I’ve had enough of men seeing that and thinking I’m easy and desperate. I may be a big girl but I’m not an easy girl,” Lily informed him. Remus sighed and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

“If it’s any consolation I don’t think James is after you because he thinks you’re easy. Now get me a table so I can get rich,” Remus let go of her as the door opened. He made his way to the back to run some food before his table. He ran food and drinks for thirty minutes before his first table. He joked with the drunken frat boys, lightly flirted with the bachelorette party, carded a couple of older ladies getting the flattered laugh, and even let down his walls enough to accept some well-meaning flattery from a couple of guys who were clearly fresh out of their parent’s house and exploring a new side of themselves.

“How did you do tonight?” Lily asked as Remus counted out his tips at the bar. The busser was vacuuming. Alice was counting her tips next to him and Rosmerta was finishing her close down of the bar.

“100 even,” Alice announced and looked over at Remus who fanned himself with the twenty that put him over.

“120, the drunk frat boys. I think they meant to leave a ten,” Remus responded as she cursed.

“Got you both beat, 157,” Rosmerta crowed turning off the TVs.

“How do you two do it?” Alice asked. Rosmerta shrugged but Remus gestured to her hand.

“Rose and I can flirt with anything that walks through the door. Frank put a ring on your hand,” Remus reminded her. She glanced down at the engagement ring and smiled.

“Well I will take Frank over drunken frat boys any day of the week,” she answered, seeming happy all over again.

“Maybe my soulmate walked in tonight,” Rosmerta dropped a few scraps of paper with phone numbers written on them on the bar. Remus dug out his own scraps.

“Mine too,” Remus’ tone was sarcastic as he added to her pile. Lily added two of her own.

“I don’t think it will be this guy Josh. First of all his name is gross and second of all he gave his number to all three of you,” Alice pointed out, sorting through the scraps, and seeing Josh with the same number. One more had tried Rosmerta and Remus. There was only one more with all three crossed over.

“Wanna ride home?” Lily asked as they filed out. Remus glanced toward the bus stop knowing he was a bit out of her way. “Come on, it's late and I know you have the early shift at the coffee shop.” Remus reluctantly got in but only because his feet hurt. Remus was grateful for Lily. She was a good friend and didn’t expect him to fill every moment with idle chatter. After a long shift, it was welcome.

“Thank you,” he said when she pulled up to his building. He got a happy wave and made his way to the door. When he was in, he flicked his lights twice and peeked out the window as Lily drove away. Once she was gone he made sure his door was locked and tucked all his tips into the small lock box he’d taped to the bottom of the table in the living room. It looked like he would have enough for rent this month.

He showered quickly and made sure his phone was plugged in and alarms were on before falling into bed to get a couple of hours of sleep.

--

“Thank god for free coffee,” Lily moaned as they opened the shop the next morning. Remus winced when she pulled up the blinds and the sunlight stabbed him in the eyes. He was already at the maximum amount of painkillers he could take. He would need his liver one day or he would take more.

The morning was steady. Remus took orders while Lily pulled them. They had a good routine and flow. Remus would step away from the register to prepare or warm up snacks that people wanted with their coffee. The tip jar filled steadily. Remus emptied it just before the lunch rush.

The afternoon was a bit slow but still decent. Lily cleaned the dining area while Remus cleaned the line and restocked everything. Lily had returned to the counter when James and his friend walked in. “Ah Lily heard you moved to America,” James bounded over to the counter like an overeager puppy. Remus saw her expression right before James. He hoped the poor man could walk after he was cut off at the knees.

“I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public,” Lily answered but Remus noticed she was already pulling the espresso shot. He took a chance and punched in a small vanilla latte and passed her the cup.

“Well aren’t you a ray of sunshine? Come on Lily just put your number on my cup. We can stop this nonsense and go on a very nice date,” James needled, paying Remus absently and tucking a five into the tip jar.

“It sounds like you’re speaking English but I can’t understand a word you’re saying,” she placed the plastic lid on the cup and passed it to him.

“I do so enjoy our little talks,” he tipped his cup to her.

“Do feel free to try again,” she responded and turned to the other.

“You could be nice to him,” the other man informed her and she scowled at him.

“I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid,” she responded. Remus cleared his throat.

“My answer is never going to change. Surprise me,” Remus was informed but got a quick smile for his efforts.

“What name should we put on the cup?” Lily asked as Remus punched in a cinnamon roll coffee. It was just past the promotional period and the syrup was about to go bad. The more they used the less would end up on the shrink log.

“Don’t worry I forgot your name too. It’s Sirius,” he answered. Remus picked up the cup. “Like the star, not the emotion.” Remus crossed out his first attempt with a flush and copied the correct version. Before he could make change for the money handed to him Sirius was walking off. Remus hesitated but dumped it into the tip jar.

“You know if I was that rude to a customer I would be fired,” Remus informed Lily as she put the milk back in the fridge and wiped the steamer down.

“I’m rude to James because he likes it, masoch*st, and well Sirius is a bitch,” she answered.

“He can hear you. Besides you say bitch like it’s a bad thing,” Sirius responded, glancing over at them. Lily gave him a cold smile.

“I meant for you to hear,” she replied. Remus considered briefly intervening as they started trading barbed insults trying to one-up each other. Eventually, he shrank back onto his stool and picked up his book.

He didn’t bother to tune in as they all talked. Sirius broke off from James and came over to the counter. “You should text me sometime, but don’t tell Lily. Sarcasm is only one of many things I do well.” A crisp card was placed in Remus’ hand. In neat handwriting was the name and a phone number. Normally phone numbers went in the trash but for some reason, Remus tucked this one into his wallet.

--

Remus showered as soon as he got home and spent a few hours in a vegetable state on the couch grateful he was off at the restaurant. His stomach rumbled to let him know he should eat. He got up and threw together a very simple dinner. Spaghetti and tomato sauce. Exciting no, easy yes. He washed the dishes as soon as he was done and went to his bed intending to read.

The handsome face of the day kept intruding until Remus picked up the card and examined the shiny black ink again. The penmanship just over the name was incredible. Sirius Black looped back over itself and had loads of pretty swirls. It looked time-consuming. Remus wondered if it was always like that or if it had been designed to impress him. The numbers were precise and distinctive. Unlike some of the numbers, he got where it was unclear if a number was a four or a nine.

He toyed with the card for a while before picking up his phone. Why does Lily think you are an asshole? Remus typed out and paused. Should he let Sirius know who he was first? Of course, Sirius had seen his nametag. He hit send before he could overthink it too much. The response came before he could think about it too hard.

{Unknown Contact:} I call her out when she’s being rude to James. I have to stand up for him even if I admire the snark of that girl.

{Dog Star:}Are we going to play twenty questions then?

{You:} Maybe is that your first question? You only have nineteen more.

{Dog Star:} And you only have eighteen.

{DS:} How old are you?

Remus settled properly into his pillows making sure his phone was plugged in. He liked how quickly Sirius replied. He also liked the light… Teasing? If that was the right word. It made him feel an attraction that he hadn’t felt toward anyone since high school. He was usually working too hard to really like anyone.

{You:} Touché, I should ration my questions better. I’m 25. How old are you? (17/20)

Almost immediately the typing icon appeared on the screen.

{DS:} I’ll give you a freebie ;)

{DS:} I am twenty-five, and will soon be turning twenty-six. Where are you from? (17/20)

{You:} I am originally from Wales.

Remus paused. What was he supposed to ask now? The accent said Sirius was born and raised right here in London. Upper crust London, it was just slightly more polished than Lily’s more like what Americans thought they all sounded like.

{You:} How old were you when you got your first tattoo? (17/20?)

Remus had been curious since he had seen the ink on Sirius' arm. Was this too personal? He chewed on his lip as he waited for Sirius to answer.

{DS:} I was fifteen. I got it right after I ran away. Do you have any ink? (16/20)

Not too personal then. Remus was curious about that ink. Was it the one he’d already seen or something hidden in a more personal area?

{You:} I have one small tattoo. How many tattoos do you have? (16/20)

Remus didn’t bother elaborating. He rubbed the spot on his ribs where the tattoo was. It was a spot with no scarring and protected from prying eyes by layers of clothing.

{DS:} I stopped counting after five. Would you like to come over and count them for me? Do you speak Welsh? (15/20)

Remus considered the whole message for a moment before drawing on his inner Lily.

{You:} Your counter is broken. You have fourteen questions left as you used two in your last message, I know I counted. I do speak Welsh fluently. And I think I will have to pass on the offer to come to see your tattoos. I make it a point not to get too friendly with delinquents who forge signatures on legal documents. Do you have a degree? (15/20)

{DS:} Oh come we each get one freebie. I gave you a freebie. All right I suppose. (14/20) You wound me with your words Remus. I did not forge any signature on any document. That’s all right I grow on everyone and even if you don’t come over you might still visit me in my dreams. I have a degree in art design. Do you have a degree? (13/20) 🙁

Chapter 2: Sinosauropteryx

Chapter Text

“You look like hell,” Lily remarked as she pulled the blinds up the next morning. Remus hid a yawn behind his hand as he pulled a shot and drank it straight. He wrinkled his nose at the taste, preferring his usual tea but needing the caffeine. It was Sirius' fault. He had stayed up texting the enigmatic man until far too late. He had dropped his phone on his face twice before he regretfully said good night.

“Thanks love you say the sweetest things,” Remus toasted her with a water bottle as he flipped on the open sign and tapped the computer screen to get it to come to life. She made her way back to the small sink in the back to fill a bucket with the sanitizer solution. Remus made sure the receipt machine was full and the tip jar displayed.

The morning could have been worse, they definitely needed more help. Both of them pulled drinks and took orders but the line still backed up all morning. Tables got dirty and stayed that way. The counter of sweeteners ran out and patrons had to come and ask for sugar or Splenda. They had to run to the back on four separate occasions for cups, straws, milk, and coffee. When the rush was finally over they each took a fifteen-minute break out back.

Lily smelled like cigarette smoke when she came back immediately, washing her hands. “I thought you were trying to quit,” Remus ribbed slyly, picking up the tray under the milk steamer and dumping the spilled milk into the sink before spraying it out.

She flicked her damp fingers at him. “I am trying to quit. I just haven’t managed it yet,” she returned dismissively, re-adjusting her dark red ponytail. She retrieved a pack of mint gum from her purse and popped a piece before spritzing herself lightly with perfume. “Can you still smell it?”

“I don’t know,” Remus hedged and she gestured for him to properly sniff her. “I think sniffing your coworkers might be in the handbook as sexual harassment.” She scoffed at him.

“You’re obnoxious sometimes,” she informed him, grabbing a rag out of the sanitizer. The chemical had turned it pink. The tables were cleaned and Remus started on the dishes while Lily restocked the sugar. “So, why do you look like you didn’t sleep? Is your insomnia back?” Lily asked when Remus came to help her with the sugar.

Remus shrugged, not sure why he wasn’t telling her. Would she think it was weird of him texting the man she had called an asshole not even twenty-four hours prior? “Sirius slipped me his number and I started texting him last night,” Remus answered. Lily was a good friend. She would either be supportive because Sirius was decent or she would dissuade him because he was genuinely an asshole.

She hummed briefly, stacking Splenda packets into the holder. “Just be careful with him. I’ve heard rumors about him ‘round the pubs and such,” she informed him. Remus glanced up at her shaking back his fringe annoyed.

“What have you heard?” Remus demanded. She seemed like she regretted bringing it up.

“Just that he’s a little bit of a player, not really big on the whole relationship thing,” Lily answered cautiously. She tucked the last of the Splenda into the holder and picked up the milk jugs. Remus continued cleaning the topping station thinking over the words. He wasn’t much for casual sex. Is that all Sirius wanted from him?

Lily returned with the refilled milk jugs. “Come on Rem, you can’t beat yourself up over this. He might not want something so casual with you,” Lily informed. Remus made a face at her. They returned to the counter. The lunch rush was easier to handle after the madness that was breakfast but the clean-up felt just as bad. Remus felt creakier than he had in a while as he wiped down the milk steamers. Now he knew why he didn’t sacrifice his sleep for anyone, even cute boys.

He and Lily were just settling in for a slow afternoon when James and Sirius walked in. “Hey Lily, ready to go on a date with me?” James asked all co*cky arrogance as though he didn’t know he was about to get verbally lashed.

“I’m already visualizing you with duct tape over your mouth,” Lily answered, standing to make his latte while Remus rang him up. Pounds were placed in the register, the change, and an extra five in the tip jar. Remus admired habit.

“Kinky, I like it,” James responded. Lily’s hand paused as she reached for the handle of the espresso machine and she actually looked up to meet James’ gaze properly. “Kidding, it was a joke.” James seemed pleased to have gotten something out of her aside from snark. She tipped her head like a dog.

“Oh… I get it… Like humor… But different,” Bright green eyes returned to the milk steamer. Remus bit back a smile as James sighed and took the small cup from her. He glanced up at Sirius and got a quick quirk of those lips.

“I’m an artist looking for something to inspire and surprise me,” Sirius responded. Remus shook his head as a twenty-pound note was set down and Sirius walked over to the other counter. Remus quickly punched in an herbal tea. Lily snorted.

“The fact that no one understands you doesn’t make you an artist,” Lily pointed out. Sirius simply raised an eyebrow at her.

“I’m so sorry dear for your insults to work I must first value your opinion,” Sirius took his cup off the counter. “Nice to see you, Remus. Come have a cuppa if you have a minute.” Remus tried really hard to keep his eyes off that cute butt in the tight pants as Sirius walked away.

“Rude, how are you so rude and still employed?” Remus inquired, adding the change to the tip jar. Lily shrugged.

“Most of the time I am the kindest person you will ever know but James likes it when I’m mean and Sirius just provokes it in me,” she answered, examining the counter before wiping down the steamer again. Remus shook his head and picked up his book. “Take your break and go flirt.”

Remus glanced over his book at the two sitting by the window chatting. “What if he was just being nice?” Remus asked. Lily looked up from the steamer and honestly tutted at him.

“Remus Lupin, you will remove your cute butt from that stool and go over there,” Lily hauled him up and removed his apron. “Go, here’s some tea.” She handed him a cup of Earl Grey and swatted his butt as she practically pushed him out from behind the counter.

The walk across the room took forever and he awkwardly sat down at the table. He tried not to take up too much space, which was impossible with his giant arms. He tried not to crowd under the table too much, which was impossible with his giant legs. It all felt very uncoordinated. “Hello,” he finally mumbled, his face feeling very warm.

“You gave me decaffeinated herbal tea,” Sirius commented and Remus glanced up feeling the tension crack. James gave a low whistle.

“That takes balls,” he muttered. Sirius shot him a glare but went back to looking at Remus.

“You asked for a surprise. Did I surprise you?” Remus dared to ask.

“You did. I will have to be more specific in the future. This surprise is not going to let me get through the hours-long analysis this one will subject me to when we leave. 'Oh Siri did you see her hair today, it was all braided. Do you think she would braid it like that when we get married?’” Sirius had affected a high-pitched mocking voice.

“I do not sound like that,” James deadpanned but his face was slightly pink. Remus held back a laugh.

“Long shot thinking she will marry you. Even longer thinking she will braid her hair for you. Dorcas and I had to hold her that day because it was all over the place,” Remus responded. Lily didn’t do much with her hair. The day of the braid was because Dorcas had come to the shop in the morning and found Lily trying to contain it under a hat. After an hour of cajoling they managed to talk her into a chair to braid it. She still hated it. “Dorcas would be willing to braid yours if you ask really nicely.”

James frowned at him and Sirius hid a laugh behind a snort. “Speaking of, go flirt with the snarky redhead. I want the Welsh Prince all to myself,” Sirius kicked James under the table. Remus flushed.

“Everyone is so mean to me here, why do I keep coming back?” James got up and wandered to the counter.

“Ah maybe we’re too hard on him, he’s all stupid with infatuation and sh*t,” Sirius muttered when the table cleared.

“Lily claims he likes it,” Remus pointed out, shifting so he was sitting across from Sirius. Their legs were no longer so close.

“Perhaps, still I should at least be nicer to him,” Sirius glanced over where James was leaning on the counter obviously flirting with a very unimpressed Lily. “How close do you think he is to winning a date with her?”

“Lily is not a prize to be won and she is my best friend so I will not allow my insight into her become fodder for your gossip cannon,” Remus replied a little haughtily. Those grey eyes moved back to him, surprise evident. Was Sirius not used to being treated like he was a normal bloke? Remus was determined to hold him at arm’s length until he knew it wouldn’t hurt him to let him get closer.

“Alright then Remus. How about we talk about you then?” Sirius suggested and Remus looked away before those quicksilver eyes could entice him into giving away all his secrets. His own tea was murky in the cup. He took a sip, it settled his nerves a bit.

“How about we don’t and say we did?” Remus countered keeping his fingers wrapped around the mug enjoying the heat. He could still feel those dangerous eyes on him so kept his eyes on the tea.

“I still have five questions left,” Sirius reminded him and Remus internally bit his cheek to keep his grin at bay.

“Alright bring them on but remember I have seven left,” Remus reminded him. Sirius sighed.

“Still no freebie, that was not a question, just a sad statement on the state of affairs,” Sirius informed him and Remus had to work harder not to smile this time.

“You have to earn any extras or freebies you get, they are not just handed out,” Remus informed him, tipping his head up. Sirius blew a straw wrapper at him. It hit him in the ear. He dropped the act.

“I look forward to figuring out how,” Sirius' tone was heavy with implication. Remus knew he should come up with some snarky remark but he lost any chance as soon as he met those eyes. Sirius only held him mesmerized for a moment. “What’s your favorite color?”

Remus considered this for a moment. It tended to change on him. “Orange, although that will likely change next week. Usually does. What’s your favorite dinosaur?” Remus asked and had the pleasure of seeing genuine confusion cross those beautiful features.

“Pardon?” Sirius questioned. Remus paused and rearticulated.

“I find that dating as an adult can be disappointing. You’ll talk about your degree, jobs, favorite color, religion, and if things go well enough, family and the future but no one ever talks about their favorite dinosaur. At six years old this little redhead comes up to me all chubby cheeks and pigtails and tells me her favorite dino is the longneck and her sister thought that was stupid. We had a whole conversation about long necks while I served her plastic eggs and broccoli. She’s my best friend,” Remus wasn’t usually one for rambling but sometimes. He flushed as he realized how much information he had just dumped on Sirius.

Sirius for his part looked fascinated. He was nodding along, his mouth curving into a gentle smile as Remus ranted. He considered for a long moment. “I don’t want to be a lame guy and say t-rex but that’s all I can think of so I am going to ask for a rain check. Let me go home and research my favorite dino so when I tell you we can have a conversation about it.”

Remus smiled thrilled that Sirius was going along with him. “Tell me your favorite so I can look up that too.” Remus warmed up slightly at the genuine request.

“Dilophosaurus Wetherilli,” he answered assuredly. “Don’t worry I will text you the spelling.” Remus offered. Sirius thanked him. They chatted a bit more covering some of the things they enjoyed doing. “Oh by the way you got my favorite dino without it being counted in your questions so you got your freebie after all.” Remus gathered the cups. His was mostly empty and Sirius' cup was mostly full and retreated behind the counter.

“Tomorrow make sure my surprise is caffeinated please,” Sirius commented following Remus to the counter.

“I am off tomorrow. You’ll have to talk Lily into caffeinating you,” Remus informed him, taking the cup James offered. Lily gave Sirius an innocent smile, said goodbye to James, and moved to the back to work on some dishes.

“Off tomorrow does that mean if I ask you on a date you’ll say yes?” Sirius asked and Remus shook his head.

“If your favorite dino fails to live up to the hype I have to have an out. Your request needs to come after you tell me your favorite,” Remus answered. “Bye now.” He waved them off.

“You hit him with the dinosaur question, did he pass?” Lily asked once they had left. She leaned against the wall and Remus nodded his smile breaking across his face. Lily once told him when he smiled like that he looked as though he’d never been scarred.

“Flying colors. He didn’t give some bullsh*t answer. He wanted to come up with a decent answer and he asked after mine,” Remus responded sitting down on his stool. Lily looked thrilled. The dino question had long been his gauge for how cool people were. He never offered up a why like he had with Sirius.

“I should ask James his favorite dino, see if your little litmus test is worth its salt,” she mused and Remus shook his head.

“I think a good litmus test is if a guy sees a future and I heard a little something about braids and a wedding,” Remus responded. He greeted a customer who walked in leaving Lily in surprised silence. Before she could question him he grabbed a towel to go wipe the table.

“You can’t just say something like that and walk off,” Lily enunciated when he returned to the counter. Remus sat down on his stool and told her about the conversation about braids and marriage. “I think this thing you’re doing about testing if he’s into you for more than just some weird fetish has worked. He is sunk for you.”

“It’s a pattern to tease him at this point. He doesn’t even expect me to say yes,” Lily informed him. Remus grinned.

“You should definitely say yes. Not tomorrow because I want to see his face but one of those casual throwaways just say yes and write your number on his cup. It would be so funny,” Remus assured her. She frowned at him and considered it.

“I feel like he won’t take it seriously but I definitely enjoy seeing his brain short circuit,” Lily hummed as she considered the full plan. “You’re back on Saturday?” she asked and Remus nodded.

--

{Cute Welsh Boy:} Dilophosaurus wetherilli.

Remus rubbed the towel over his hair before glancing at the new identifier on the phone. Of course Sirius would call him that in his phone. He briefly wondered if Sirius could see that he was called Dog Star then decided he didn’t care.

{Dog Star:} You’re up late and texting nonsense. Is that even English?

{CWB:} No it’s Latin and my favorite dinosaur. I just got home from work.

Remus flopped down on his bed. Should he make dinner? Yes. Should he get dressed? Probably. Was he going to? Absolutely f*cking not.

{DS:} The cafe closes at seven, it’s two in the morning.

{CWB:} Funny man thinks I can afford an apartment in London without working at least two jobs. I had three before they made me the opening shift lead at the cafe.

{CWB:} Did you research dinos?

Remus wondered if he should be letting Sirius sleep. It was late and while he didn’t have work in the morning, others might. He fidgeted with his phone nearly dropping it when it vibrated in his hand. A video call was coming through. He answered ‘voice’ only and got a half-lit Sirius on his phone also clearly in bed.

“Why can’t I see you?” Sirius frowned at his screen. His voice sounded so different in the dark aloneness of Remus’ space. The static from the line marred some deeper tones. Remus cleared his throat.

“I just got in; my hair’s wet and I’m not dressed. Not to mention I would have to turn on a lamp,” Remus rushed to assure him it wasn’t his phone throwing a tantrum.

“Was calling to see your face while I figured out how to say this bloody name. How am I supposed to know if I can ask you on a date if I can’t see how impressed or not you are?” Sirius asked. Remus sighed and reached over to turn on his light. He adjusted the blanket to cover his shoulders and made sure just his head, neck, and shoulders were in the frame before turning on his camera.

“You could always just ask me if I’m impressed,” Remus responded, smoothing his hair. Sirius brightened at the sight of him.

“I would rather just act co*cky and self-assured,” Sirius pulled a computer into the frame and clicked on the screen. “Alright so sinosauropteryx.” Remus snorted at his horrible pronunciation. Sirius held the screen up so Remus could see the little lemur-bird on the screen. “It’s the size of a chicken and a ginger. I want a million of them.”

Remus couldn’t hide the bright smile and endearing look directed at the enigmatic man on his phone. “I think you just earned a date,” Remus responded easily.

*~*

Chapter 3: Painting With A Twist

Chapter Text

Remus eyed himself in the mirror as he tried to adjust his sweater. He was, as Lily always affectionately put it, awkward as hell. He tried to comb his hair into behaving. He wasn’t sure it had worked. He was fairly sure it was just the same as always but now looked like he had lost a fight with a comb. God Sirius wasn’t going to want to go on a second date with someone who couldn’t even comb his hair.

His sweater was a bit shabby but it was the nicest he owned. The bottom hem of his jeans was worn and tattered but the jeans fit reasonably well if you ignored the thick leather belt wrapped nearly double around his thin waist. He looked like a wreck. He should just cancel. He started looking around for his phone when the doorbell went off. A quick glance at his watch told him he was out of time.

He made his way to the door and opened it knowing as he did he was chasing away the chance they were going to have a nice evening. His work clothes were the nicest set of clothes he owned. What was Sirius going to think seeing Remus in his shabby everyday clothes? He opened his door to a breathtaking sight.

Sirius stood at his door in a tight black t-shirt under a leather jacket, his dark hair pulled back into a half ponytail. He had a pretty cross dangling from his left ear and a silver hoop through the other and was wearing makeup. Dark smoky eyes and bright lips with perfect skin in between. “Hey cutie. You look lovely. Ready to go?” Sirius asked, looking over his outfit and smiling at him.

Remus felt his confidence rise slightly. Sirius' compliment seemed genuine. “Umm… you look nice too. Let me put on my shoes, come in,” Remus invited Sirius into the tiny studio apartment he rented. He would have felt self-conscious but at least it was clean.

“Nice place,” Sirius commented admiring the sparse pictures Remus had put up. Remus snorted.

“It’s tiny and a bit mismatched,” he corrected. Sirius leaned against a wall as Remus laced up his shoes.

“Do you always deflect compliments?” Sirius hedged. Remus glanced over at him.

“Only when I know it’s bullsh*t,” Remus answered with a shrug. He stood up and grabbed his coat. He gestured for Sirius to step out of the small room and locked the door behind him.

“I like your place, it's very you,” Sirius responded. Remus pursed his lips as they made their way down the stairs. “Eccentric and well taken care of but with true character built in.” This made Remus flush and he was glad for the darkness the night brought. Perhaps it would cover the pink of his cheeks.

Before he could retort they stepped onto the ground floor and Sirius led the way to a very nice bike, even sitting still it looked very fast. Remus hesitated and Sirius gave him a sh*t-eating grin. “Gonna be adventurous Remus or go back to your books?”

The challenge had him bristling but the bike made him nervous. He swallowed, “I’ve never been on a motorcycle,” Remus confessed. Sirius picked up a helmet and came over to him.

“I won’t let you fall off or get hurt. I’ve never been in an accident, I am a safe driver. I just have no patience for a beige four-door,” Sirius informed him. The helmet was reassuring and heavy as Sirius slid it onto Remus’s head. Grey eyes intent as he did up the strap under Remus’ chin.

“And the helmets aren’t harshing the rebellious vibe?” Remus asked as Sirius slid his own helmet on. An elegant, long-fingered hand was offered to him and Remus took it without thinking too much. He was pulled closer to the bike and the other man. Sirius smelled nice, subtle, and expensive.

“Safety is sexy, it’s why I always carry condoms,” Sirius' voice was silky. He nudged a silver pipe with his foot. “This is the exhaust, it gets hot so don’t rest your leg against it or your foot on top of it,” Sirius told him. Remus forced himself to focus but that warm, soft hand was still holding his. “Hop up so you don’t accidentally kick me.”

Not an unfair assessment, Remus thought as he freed his hand and slid into the seat. Or at least attempted to slide into the seat. He was sure his long limbs had made it look more like uncoordinated flailing from an octopus than any action he would willingly take credit for. He settled in the seat and found little pegs to place his feet on. He double-checked that he wasn’t touching the exhaust pipe.

Sirius moved in front of him, straddling the bike easily. Remus admired the strength of his thin form as he moved the bike off its kickstand. “You’re gonna wanna hold on tight,” Sirius informed him.

“To what?” Remus asked, looking around for some sort of handle or safety belt. Sirius chuckled.

“To me, obviously,” Sirius answered with a self-satisfied grin. Remus was about to argue when the bike was kicked to life. It was loud and vibrated under them. As soon as Sirius shifted to push, Remus gave into the fear of the wide-open sides. He wrapped his arms around Sirius' middle tightly. He felt the chuckle rumble against his chest from the leather-clad man.

He kept his arms around Sirius as they zipped through town. Even though he was several inches taller he also hid his face in Sirius' shoulder. His heart thudded dramatically during every turn. When they stopped for a light Sirius ran a soothing hand over his arm. He was glad when Sirius finally pulled up to a curb and turned the bike off. Remus carefully removed his arms from around Sirius and slid off the death machine.

“See not so bad,” Sirius commented, reaching over to undo the strap under Remus’ chin.

“Are you insane, that was terrible. I am also beginning to think it was a move. ‘I’ll take the bike so my date has to get close.’” Remus didn’t capture Sirius' honeyed tones at all but he made the shorter man laugh. Sirius placed the helmets in one of the side compartments and reached up to smooth Remus’ hair.

“It might be a move or it might be I thought you were cool and wanted to show off how cool I was,” Sirius trilled with faux innocence. He smoothed his own hair and set off down the street. Remus followed quickly behind, his long legs closing the distance easily.

“Now I know you’re taking the piss. No one in their right mind thinks I’m cool,” Remus informed him matter-of-factly. Sirius shrugged and held the door for Remus. He stepped in, not really paying much attention. He expected to walk into a restaurant, but as soon as the smell of acrylic paint hit his nose, he took his eyes off his date. He glanced around, it looked like an art class. Easels with blank canvases set up in a circle. A few other people were there, milling around or setting up.

“Reservation under Black,” Sirius told the girl at the front. Her nails clicked on the keyboard and she smiled broadly.

“Of course Mr. Black and Mr…” she trailed off looking at Remus.

“Ummm… Lupin,” he answered. She gestured for them to follow her.

“You’ll be canvases three and four. The instructor will come around with your options for what to paint tonight. In the meantime you can order your drinks and food through the tablet right there,” she gestured to the two empty canvases and the tablet set up just off to the side. Sirius made his way to the tablet.

“Sirius, what is this?” Remus asked. Sirius glanced up at him.

“Sorry, I forget not everyone has been on all my zany adventures. It’s painting with a twist. We spend the evening painting something, it’s not just for artists I promise. No one leaves without a work of art and we get a little loose on wine and finger sandwiches,” Sirius answered. Remus stared at him honestly wondering if he was being trolled. “What kind of sandwiches do you want? The cucumber ones are fab but James swears the fig and goat cheese ones are delicious.”

Remus felt his brain try to stall. This confirmed what he had known from the start. Sirius had money, a scary amount. He made his way over to the tablet mentally calculating how much he had in his bank account. Maybe if he had water he would be able to split the cost of the date. Sirius went on about the different sandwiches, nothing had price markers. “Ah Sirius, how wonderful it is to see you again,” a strongly accented French voice said behind them.

Sirius turned to face the instructor with a smile. “Ah, Madame Maxime. How are you?” he asked happily.

“I am doing wonderfully. I was so glad to see you on the roster tonight. Though I had thought you would have brought that other charming boy with you. James, was it?” her voice was deep and reminded Remus of a full-bodied red wine. She stroked a rather large hand over her opals before offering Remus her hand as though she expected him to kiss it.

He shook it awkwardly. “No, this is a date. Remus, meet Madame Maxime,” Sirius sounded thrilled to be on a date with Remus. When the girl from earlier came around with a tablet and started taking payments Sirius paused. “We haven’t ordered our food yet.”

“No worries, we can keep the tab open, I just need to get all the cards before class,” she answered. Sirius easily swiped and signed. Remus felt a little weird about letting Sirius pay for a whole date but it was clear he wanted to.

“Thank you,” he said earnestly and she moved away.

“Alright my lovelies! what would you like to paint tonight? Two individual pieces? Or perhaps a couple’s painting?” Maxine tittered. Sirius glanced over at Remus for his input. Remus considered briefly. If this went sideways he wouldn’t have the companion piece so he should probably pick the individual option.

“Lily will help me burn the damn thing if this ends badly, so might as well go for it. The couple’s picture,” Remus answered. Sirius looked pleased again.

“He’s feisty,” Maxime smiled and held up small thumbnails of three different sets of pictures. Remus leaned in to get a closer look. They were all really pretty but all looked complicated.

“Upon seeing the panic on your face, this one will be the easiest and least technical, in my opinion,” Sirius pointed to the darkest picture with stars spread over it. Remus glanced over and nodded. Sirius tapped the picture.

“Wonderful! I’ll go get your paints together,” Maxine walked off. Once they were alone, Remus watched as Sirius ordered a bunch of the little sandwiches and a nice crisp white wine.

“Can I get a glass of water too?” Remus asked and Sirius nodded adding that as well. He hit the submit button. A few minutes later the food was brought out and like the other couples in the room, they settled on the floor to eat. “I can easily say this is the most… creative date I’ve been on.” He bit into an asparagus and beef sandwich. It was so amazing. As soon as he finished he wanted the other, it was so rich and flavorful for just two bites.

“First time on a bike, first time at Painting with a Twist, what other firsts can I have?” Sirius asked, his voice dripping with suggestion and his eyes twinkling with a dirty joke. Remus picked up his wine glass.

“I can’t tell you all of my secrets, have to keep you intrigued,” Remus answered, picking up the fig and goat cheese one Sirius had brought up. It was ok but not his favorite, the texture was weird. Sirius was clearly reading his face. He placed the beef and asparagus one closer to Remus and picked up the other fig and goat cheese one. “You don’t want it?”

“I don’t like asparagus and I’m a vegetarian,” Sirius shrugged, picking up one of the cucumber ones and crunching through it easily.

Remus picked up the sandwich stacking the small plate. “I feel like this is information I should have gotten sooner,” Remus pointed out and Sirius shrugged.

“I can’t tell you all of my secrets. I have to keep you intrigued,” the line sounded better coming from Sirius. More like a declaration of intent or a promise. “Of course, the same rules don’t apply to fish,” Sirius picked up one of the salmon sandwiches.

“You know there’s a word for that,” Remus pointed out while picking up the other salmon one. It was good, very fresh. If it didn’t feel so fancy he would have licked his fingers.

“I know it’s pest something or other. I can’t remember,” Sirius answered, offering Remus an apple jam and walnut one.

“Nope it’s called being delusional and a little bit dishonest with yourself and others,” Remus replied but gave Sirius a quick grin to show he was teasing. He took the sandwich. The apple jam was lovely with the crunchy walnuts.

“Perhaps but I can get away with it because I am so pretty,” Sirius pointed out.

“And clearly not overly burdened with modesty,” Remus commented, stacking the empty small plates and sipping at the wine again. He liked the light dinner. It was lovely.

“You can tell you’re a server,” Sirius gestured to the neat stack of plates and Remus shrugged.

“No need to make anyone’s life harder,” he responded, leaning back on his hands. “So, am I the first date you’ve brought here, or is this another move?”

“I usually come with James, he’s the only one willing to tolerate my… quirks. When thinking about you I didn’t want to go with just dinner and a movie,” Sirius shrugged.

“Probably a good thing. I’m not really one for going to restaurants. I don’t like having people wait on me,” Remus replied. He was aware that as a server he could be an easy customer but the whole thing made him uncomfortable. He would rather order in or cook for himself.

“See once again these are things you should share,” Sirius accused and Remus raised an eyebrow at him.

“Oh you mean like the vegetarian thing?” he asked calmly. “You didn’t ask.” Sirius analyzed him for a long moment.

“Touché,” Sirius relented. He stood up when Madame Maxime returned to the room and offered his hand to Remus again. Remus stood and winced when his knees popped. They were all given their paints and basic instructions. It seemed however that she was going to spend more time with another couple, which was fine. Sirius, being the veteran as well as professional artist, was a good instructor about the paint.

“Let’s get a couple of smocks to keep the paint off our clothes,” Sirius suggested. He led Remus back to the supply closet and pulled down a couple of paint-stained dark brown aprons. Thin arms looped over his neck and slipped the apron in place. “You look cute.” Remus was sure Sirius was taking the piss but didn’t argue. He was beginning to realize the dark-haired man had no sense of personal space.

He didn’t pull away even when arms looped briefly around his waist to tie the apron in place. Sirius grabbed his own apron, Remus wished he had the confidence to ‘help’ Sirius in the same way he had been helped. They made their way back to the easels and Sirius did something that caused Remus’s focus to completely scatter. He shed that leather jacket. Now he was clad in a tight black t-shirt. It hugged his shoulders, chest, and stomach. Remus could see the tattoos that decorated his arms. It also highlighted muscles. Muscles Remus had thus so far overlooked thinking Sirius was a string bean.

He realized he had missed something when Sirius glanced over at him with a question written all over his face. Those grey eyes were going to be the absolute death of him. Sirius' face split into a smile when he noticed Remus’ distraction. “Once you're done ogling, do you want to the left or right piece?” Sirius smirked, looking Remus up and down.

“Am I not allowed to ogle the man who asked me out?” Remus blushed, stepping closer so he could see the small pictures again. The right side looked easier so he picked that one.

“Oh ogling is strongly encouraged just a bit annoying when I can’t kiss you afterward,” Sirius answered. Remus dropped the thankfully still-closed tube of paint Sirius had handed him. “Am I allowed to kiss the man I asked out?” Remus swallowed when Sirius picked up the tube of paint and offered it to him. Their fingers brushed.

“I don’t know, I suppose it depends on how the rest of the date goes,” Remus answered.

Tape, several tubes of paint, brushes, and various other tools and they were both standing in front of a reasonable approximation of the pictures they had been shown at the beginning of class. “Look at you mister artiste,” Sirius nudged his shoulder. He pulled out his phone to snap a couple of pictures.

“Good job,” Madame Maxime came around to look at their pieces. “The drying rack is in the back. If you leave your address I can mail it to you once it’s dry.” They both carefully lifted the paintings and placed them on the drying racks. Hands were washed and smocks were returned. Remus made a very clear point not to look at the bill Sirius filled out while he left his address at the front.

The night was chillier when they stepped out but soon enough he was pressed close to Sirius. He didn’t care how cold it was with the wonderfully spicy-sweet scent of Sirius teasing his nose. They pulled up outside of his apartment. “I had fun tonight,” Remus commented as Sirius undid the buckle. Remus could see a smear of bright blue across the back of Sirius' hand. “If James ever bails and I’m not working I would be happy to go with you.”

“I don’t go very often but if you’re into art I could show you my gallery sometime,” Sirius offered. Remus considered his next words for a long moment.

“I’m not really into art aside from ‘oh pretty’, it was an excuse to spend time with you,” Remus answered. Sirius let that easy smile slip over his features again.

“We don’t need excuses. We’re grown-ups, we can hang out,” Sirius reminded him. Remus gave him a confused look.

“I asked you about dinosaurs and you spend twenty pounds on coffee a day. I don’t think either of us qualifies as ‘grown-ups.’” Remus threw it in quotes intentionally.

“True enough. We are legal adults with houses and you know freedom of movement… Point is I don’t need an excuse to see you and you don’t need one either,” Sirius commented. Remus just let Sirius fumble about. It was cute.

“So are you going to stop using coffee as an excuse?” Remus asked and Sirius shook his head.

“Absolutely not. I love seeing Lily annihilate James and the sassy Welsh boy behind the counter always keeps me on my toes. I am going to keep tipping an obscene amount too. I don’t like that you have to work so hard,” Sirius' brow furrowed.

“Don’t worry about me. I got it handled,” Remus waved him off. Sirius stepped forward leaving Remus trapped between him and the wall of the building.

“I am going to worry about you,” Sirius informed him. Remus really wished he had the ability to tell Sirius off again but he was too close and smelled nice. He was right there all caring and warm. Remus let himself lean into the promise. Their lips met and sparks ignited.

Sirius' lips were soft and warm under his. Warm thin hands slid through his sandy hair and Remus remembered he had functioning hands. He placed one hand on a thin hip and the other wrapped around Sirius' shoulders.

He wasn’t sure who pushed first but suddenly their tongues were brushing past each other and Remus felt his back make contact with the wall again. Sirius was plastered to his front. When a hand slid under his sweater he broke the kiss. Sirius immediately took a step back and Remus missed his warmth. “Sorry I got carried away.”

“That’s alright. I just have work in the morning,” Remus offered as a weak excuse. Sirius nodded. Remus smoothed his sweater. “Thank you for the date. Let me know when you get home on that death machine.” He smoothed his thumb under Sirius' lip getting rid of the smudged lipstick. They shared another kiss before Remus forced himself to make the walk up to his flat, alone.

*~*

Chapter 4: Do You Flirt With All Baristas?

Chapter Text

{DS:} You are not at the cafe today.

{CWB:} Very astute. No I am not. I have a double in the restaurant on Fridays. I’m on my lunch now.

Remus dipped his chip into the ketchup as he waited for Sirius' response. He watched as Dorcas and Rosmerta got the bar ready for the night shift. He knew Lily would be in soon. Alice, who was also working a double, was in the parking lot sharing a smoke and sandwich with Frank.

{DS:} I wanted to see you.

{DS:] I miss you.

{DS:} When am I going to see you again?

Remus silenced his phone when it dinged three times in quick succession. Was this clingy or was this just Sirius who was so used to getting his own way? He’d never had someone want to see him like Sirius did.

{CWB:} I am back at the cafétomorrow but if you are asking after my next day off it’s next Thursday.

For a year Remus had it arranged so his days off overlapped and he got two full days. When he had been bumped to lead his schedule had changed and now he only had one full day off a week. He could feel Sirius' frustration through the phone.

{CWB:} If you would like, I only work the coffee shop on Tuesday so if you come in at the end of my shift we can spend the evening together.

Remus realized he might be eager to see the other man too. He didn’t usually consent to sacrificing his evenings for anyone.

{DS:} Sounds like I don’t have much of a choice.

{DS:} I will take seeing you at work the next few days and co-opting your Tuesday night.

Remus sent back a winky face and tucked his phone into his pocket as his lunch break ran out.

--

“Why didn’t you tell me you didn’t work here on Friday?” Sirius' voice broke into his world and Remus glanced up.

“You didn’t ask,” Remus pointed out, tucking his book away and punching in the small vanilla latte for James.

He made the change and James moved over to flirt with Lily. “How am I supposed to ask all of these things if I only had twenty initial questions?” Sirius demanded as Remus looked over the buttons he had available.

“We are way past twenty questions Sirius,” Remus reminded. He punched in a Snickerdoodle with two shots of espresso and took the twenty-pound note. Fifteen ended up in the tip jar. He glanced over at James and Lily.

“Yes, I am an agent of Satan but my duties are largely ceremonial,” Lily handed James a cup and picked up the next one. She gave Remus a look and he gave her an innocent smile. “I’ll have Remus bring it over when it’s done.”

“Spending your break with me again?” Sirius asked and Remus shrugged. He had already taken his break today but he would never turn down another. “Fab.” He made his way to the table with James.

“Jesus, I thought he was going to lean over the counter and eat you. Are you that oblivious?” Lily asked, pulling the shots.

“It’s not like that,” Remus stepped over to steam the milk for her.

“So the kiss you were telling me about?” she asked, adding the syrup to the cup.

“Why would that lead to him eating me?” Remus asked and Lily snorted.

“You need to desperately get laid by someone who sees more than just a hole. Ask Sirius to eat you and see what his response is,” Lily commented and handed him the completed drink and a hot tea.

Remus shed his apron and made his way over to Sirius and James. He sat at the table feeling no more coordinated than before. Sirius took a sip of his beverage and Remus grinned at the face. “Cavities and diabetes in a cup,” he commented.

“I take the challenge of surprising you very seriously,” Remus responded innocently, sipping on his own tea. He didn’t comment on the fact that he had intentionally chosen one of the sweetest drinks on the menu and added coffee to it. “Either figure out what you want or stop whining when I break out the unusual.”

“You know, most places when I say, “surprise me”, just give me a medium drip,” Sirius told him and Remus raised an eyebrow at him.

“Do you want a medium drip?” Remus asked.

“No, that’s so boring,” Sirius returned.

“Do I look like everyone else? Do you flirt with every barista you come across?” Remus asked. It had been an innocent question when it had left his mouth but as he waited for the answer his heart thumped painfully. Lily had mentioned he was a bit of a player and they hadn’t really had a discussion about dating other people. Maybe Sirius did go around flirting with everyone who made his coffee.

“Are we having a fight? My coffee being odd isn’t a true complaint for me,” Sirius' whole tone had softened.

“I don’t know. Decide what you f*cking want if you don’t like what I make,” Remus stalked off before anything more could be said. He hadn’t wanted to let Lily get to him but she had. He was worried this was all a game to the other man. What happened when he won? What happened if he convinced Remus to sleep with him?

Remus continued behind the counter and out the back door. Normally this area was used for smoking. Remus used it when he needed fresh air. Though fresh was relative as it was near the trash cans in a dingy alley. He could smell the rancid trash from the supermarket they shared the dumpster with. He wasn’t even sure what had gotten his hackles up about the whole encounter. He was just annoyed.

He was even more annoyed when Lily opened the backdoor and let Sirius into the employee-only area. Sirius leaned against the fence and pulled out a cigarette. “Are you really that upset about the coffee thing?” Sirius asked and Remus considered ignoring him for a long moment.

“I don’t know,” Remus finally answered. He wasn’t sure what had set him off. Just he had been irritated with Sirius out of nowhere. Sirius let out a slow stream of smoke and examined the burning end.

“I don’t typically flirt with service workers, maids, and the like. My mother taught me such people were beneath me so it suits her purposes just fine. My motivations are a little kinder. At least… that’s what I’d like to think. You’re here to do a job, you are paid to be nice to me. You shouldn’t have to deal with deciding whether or not to return a flirt for a tip. I broke my rule for you because you’re cute,” Sirius informed him, looking away from the burning ember to meet Remus’ eyes.

Remus wasn’t sure why this was the right thing to say but it was. He felt his irritation melt away. “I’m not cute,” he argued and Sirius' gaze traced over him so slowly that Remus for the first time, actually understood what it meant to be undressed with someone’s eyes. He flushed slightly.

“You are cute. Small enough I could fold you up and carry you around in my pocket,” Sirius replied. He dropped his cigarette into the small opening at the top of the outdoor cigarette catcher. “Don’t worry I have plans to get a bit more meat on your bones.”

Now he knew Sirius was full of sh*t, he was abnormally tall and gangly. No one’s definition of small. He looked like Mike Teavee after being put through the taffy stretcher in Johnny Depp’s version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. “You act like you have any say in the matter,” Remus commented.

“No, I just know that I am going to start feeding you more and maybe with an added break during the day you won’t be working on practically zero calories,” Sirius informed him. Remus would have argued further but Sirius was too close and even with the scent of smoke lingering on him he smelled better than the rest of the alley.

Remus wasn’t surprised to find himself up against the wall of a building, though his self-preservation meant he touched the wall before he leaned on it. Sirius seemed like he about to kiss him but pulled back. “I should probably not kiss a non-smoker with smoke on my breath. Hold on let me find a mint,” Sirius muttered, patting his pockets.

“Oh my god. Shut the f*ck up,” Remus slid his arms around Sirius and pulled the surprised man in for a kiss. He didn’t care about the smoke lingering. Strong fingers wound into his hair and that thin body was pressed to his. He knew he should be bothered but honestly, he wasn’t. It was part of Sirius. He could even taste the lingering sweetness of the Snickerdoodle.

“Against an apartment building and now in an alleyway. Eventually, I am going to kiss you somewhere appropriate,” Sirius commented when he pulled back. Remus smoothed his own hair and uniform this time.

“And what is appropriate?” he asked. Sirius was checking his reflection on his phone and applying more gloss.

“My couch Tuesday evening,” Sirius answered without a hint of embarrassment. Remus didn’t protest, just rang the bell by the heavy metal door to get Lily to let them back in. He sat with Sirius, conversation flowing easily for a bit until another stream of customers hit. He went to help Lily. James and Sirius left shortly after that.

The stream was steady and as a result, Remus was late getting out and late clocking in… by thirty minutes, an automatic write-up. At least it was only the first time he’d dealt with that. His shift was exhausting as always.

Sunday and Monday were more of the same. Remus was glad to wake up on Tuesday. It took him a minute to realize that his good mood wasn’t just from not going into the restaurant. It was also down to Sirius. True to his word he had stopped by every day and usually occupied Remus for ten to fifteen minutes. He had also started bringing snacks, small sandwiches, or crisps, and he seemed to have picked up on Remus’ love of carrots and hummus.

Remus didn’t want to admit that eating in the afternoon did make him feel a bit better. He didn’t usually eat very much after his lunch break at the cafe, at ten in the morning. He knew it wasn’t good for him but he generally just forgot. Sirius would feed him before the end of his shift and remind him to at least have a bowl of cereal before sleeping.

The idea of spending a few hours with him with no interruptions put a smile on Remus’ face that couldn’t be dampened by anything. The morning rush was easier to manage and tips seemed to just flow. “Look at that we will both be able to pay rent and even have a little left over,” Remus commented as he tucked half the tips into his bag.

“Speak for yourself. Oh come on I pass a plant shelter twice a day I can’t resist,” Lily whined when Remus raised a brow at her.

“Lily, light of my life…” Remus hugged her. “How short are you?”

“Not short, just not a lot left over. I will be fine Remus. You are not allowed to worry about me.” Lily shoved him off her as the bell sounded. James and Sirius came in with a tall redhead that Remus did not know.

James barely paused at the register, just handed Remus the money, and tucked his tip into the jar. “Hey cutie, this is Marlene,” Sirius came up to the register. Crippling shyness crept in and Remus could do little more than awkwardly smile.

“Siri wouldn’t shut up about you. Jamie wouldn’t shut up about Lily so I figured I should see if this coffee shop could manifest me a girlfriend. Though if you are not going to take Jamie for a spin, I wouldn’t mind throwing my hat in the ring,” Marlene winked at Lily. James looked distressed. Sirius just rolled his eyes at Remus.

“I’m not anything like what you’re used to,” Lily responded, not seeming to notice or mind. Remus admired how easy she took the flirting. He would have dropped something, like the beverage. James looked extra distressed now.

“I could do with something strange,” Marlene responded. “Can I get a chai tea latte, iced?”

“Size?” Remus asked.

“As big as you have. I’m a size queen when it comes to iced beverages,” Marlene smirked playfully, sending a wink to Lily. Remus passed the cup to Lily and rang up the drink. In true fashion, all change, and a fiver went in the tip jar.

“So, what do you have up your sleeve today?” Sirius asked when Marlene stepped away. He handed over the twenty as Remus scribbled something on the side of the cup.

“If I told you it wouldn’t be a surprise. Go sit down,” Remus waved his hand. Marlene went to sit down with him. James stood at the counter looking completely dejected.

“If I had known you were into birds I would have left you alone…” James looked like a kicked puppy who was being scolded when Lily set his coffee down. Lily frowned at him and then her eyes went to Marlene laughing with Sirius.

“Dude, I’m into both and I flirt with everyone. I flirt with Remus and there is no chance of that going anywhere,” Lily informed him, crossing her arms. Lily was not the type to let anyone tell her what to do. If James wanted to be her end-all-be-all, he would have to accept that.

“True story,” Remus provided as he set Marlene’s drink on the counter and started on Sirius'. His own Earl Grey was already steeping.

“So, I’m still in the running?” James asked hopefully and Lily nodded.

“Yes, you insecure little sod,” Lily answered. “Don’t expect me to be nicer just because you made me admit I like you. Oh and you only get one lazy day, I expect my daily worship on its regular schedule or I will assume you are done.” James trotted off seemingly happy with the day’s results.

“You’re so mean to him,” Remus commented and Lily shrugged.

“I have to be mean, it's the natural order of his universe,” Lily replied. Remus shook his head at her and shed his apron. He felt a little odd approaching the table since Marlene was in his usual spot but Sirius immediately moved his things and scooted so there was room on the bench for him. It was closer than he was used to. He could smell Sirius' cologne. He hadn’t been able to kiss him since their upset on Saturday. He wanted to.

Sirius lifted the coffee and took a sip. “Mazagran. Iced coffee with lemon juice, white sugar, and honey,” Remus informed him. Sirius took another drink, seeming to decide if he liked it or not.

“Lemme try,” Marlene held her hand out but Sirius held the drink to his chest.

“This was made for me by Remus. Get your own cute barista to make you special drinks,” Sirius snapped. Remus flushed. Sirius being possessive over the drink was sweet in a way he couldn’t explain.

“I’m trying but they all seem hitched to assholes. What do you say, Remus, we both try to be straight for a day and see how it goes?” Marlene asked. Remus met her eyes and shook his head. She made him feel very shy. He figured he would get over it fairly quickly. If he had met her as a customer it would be easy. He was a natural at that. Being introduced as the friend of a romantic interest meant Remus didn’t want to stumble and cause her to hate him.

“Hey, I’m bi why not ask me?” Sirius asked, offended as his arm came to rest over Remus’ shoulders.

“Are you a cute barista that can make me yummy drinks with fun names? No? Then why would I date you? I know all the baggage that comes as a set with your cute ass,” Marlene was blunt and Remus found he liked the way she behaved and talked. “He’s damaged, Remus. I recommend you run.”

“We’re all damaged in different ways. So far the pros outweigh the cons,” Remus answered, sipping at his Earl Grey.

“Can I see that list? I think you might have some things mistaken. I could help you sort that out,” James hedged and Sirius kicked him under the table.

“It’s in my head, sorry,” Remus shrugged. Conversation with Marlene got easier and by the time she left, Remus felt like he could easily be friends with her. She was tall and pretty, she was just as curvy as Lily and with the same confidence that gave her such a positive vibe.

“Hey, I’m gonna take off too,” James informed them and stopped by the counter briefly to chat with Lily.

“What time are you done?” Sirius asked as soon as they were alone. Remus made to shift away but with Sirius' hand on his shoulder, it was a bit awkward so he stayed where he was.

“My shift is over at four,” Remus told Sirius. “Do you want another coffee while you wait?” Sirius held his gaze.

“I want a lot of things but coffee is very low on that list. I will stay here until four,” Sirius replied and with a squeeze on Remus’ shoulder he let go. Remus stood behind the counter. Sirius pulled out a laptop and charging cable. Remus hoped this last hour went fast.

*~*

Chapter 5: Concierge Desk

Chapter Text

Remus had just finished cleaning the counter when his relief came in. Which meant Remus and Lily were set free. Lily hugged him tightly before rushing out to head to the restaurant, leaving Remus to change out of his uniform in the locker room and make his way out to the dining area. He felt oddly shy. “Ready to go, cutie?” Sirius asked, closing his laptop, and giving Remus a quick once over.

“You’re going to make me get on the evil death machine again aren’t you,” Remus accused as Sirius packed up his things and cleared his table.

“Don’t insult my bike. She’s awesome and very reliable,” Sirius pointed his finger at Remus. Remus held a hand up in defense. Sirius pulled his bag over his shoulder. Remus waved to Hannah as he left.

The walk to the parking lot was short. Sirius retrieved helmets and stuck his and Remus’ bags in a side compartment. “Oh I got you something since your sweaters would be ineffective and I believe in safety.” Sirius held up a leather jacket. Remus frowned at him.

“When you say got you mean from your closet right?” Remus asked and Sirius made a derisive noise in his throat.

“No, that wouldn’t work, you have broader shoulders, not to mention you’re taller than me,” Sirius stepped behind Remus and practically forced him into the jacket. “I bought it.” Sirius came back around and admired the fit. Remus tried not to squirm under the scrutiny. It was a nice jacket and fit much better than any of the things he currently owned. He could also tell just from the lining that it was more than his rent.

Remus finally unfroze his brain. “Thank you,” he decided was the appropriate response. He got a quick grin from the other. Warm hands slid the helmet over his head and did up the buckles. This time Sirius got on the bike first. Remus worked not to kick him in the head as he climbed on behind him.

“I like having you on the bike. You lose that protective personal space bubble that I love invading,” Sirius ran his hand over Remus’ arms when he slid them around the thin man.

“You’re the devil,” Remus muttered.

“True but my powers can only be used for good,” Sirius informed him. Remus double-checked that his leg wasn’t against the exhaust pipe when the bike roared to life. He clung a little tighter to Sirius when the bike started moving. That expensive cologne mixed with fresh leather and the distinctive smell of the motorbike invaded his senses and put him at ease.

He found he didn’t mind being pressed this close to Sirius. The bike was a great excuse to cuddle in. He had a feeling Sirius knew this from the way his hand would brush over Remus’ arms whenever it could. “Here we are,” Sirius told him as they pulled into a parking lot. Sirius immediately drove to the spot labeled with his name. Next to it was a car that looked just as fast, just as sleek, and was also parked in a spot labeled with his name. “The bike encourages closeness.” Sirius seemed unrepentant when Remus glanced at the car and then at Sirius with an eyebrow raised.

“I totally called it, this was a move. It was a ploy, you tricked me.” Remus shoved Sirius even as he followed him.

“You weren’t complaining two minutes ago Mister Let- Me-Just- Wiggle- My-Hips- Against- His- Bottom,” Sirius commented. Remus flushed. He had hoped Sirius wouldn’t notice Remus attempting to scooch as close as possible. “Not that I’m complaining but perhaps not when I am trying to focus on driving.”

Remus was sure his face would never return to the proper shade. They stepped into a nice lobby and Sirius walked over to a shiny elevator door and pushed the button. The doors were so clean Remus could see his reflection. The leather jacket looked distinctly out of place on his body.

A low pleasant ding alerted them to the arrival of the elevator. They climbed in and Remus noticed there were no buttons except for level one. He glanced at Sirius. Sirius tapped a white card against the panel and the doors slid shut. “The elevators open into the apartments, you have to have a keycard.”

“That’s completely ridiculous,” Remus informed him and Sirius shrugged.

“It’s very secure,” Sirius corrected.

“Right, up until someone hacks the system,” Remus muttered. Sirius just shook his head. This time, the doors slid open without the noise, and Sirius took Remus’ hand leading him into the flat. The wide-open layout of the home had Remus thinking of bright, warm open spaces. It had a distinctively urban, industrial loft feel to it, softened by rugs, warm pictures, pillows, and bright blankets. A set of stairs led to a raised platform that seemed to elevate the bedroom just above everything else.

Remus was just starting to study the details of the various paintings half-finished and strewn across the room when movement to his left startled him. He glanced over just as a strange creature jumped down from the steps and walked over to Sirius. “What in the world is that?” he asked, shying away when a nose poked at him. He wasn’t scared of most house pets but this was an odd creature.

“She is a cat and her name is Bastet. Although I call her Bas,” Sirius picked up the beast and kissed what Remus was assuming was the head. He frowned.

“Why is she naked?” he asked dumbly and Sirius glanced over at him.

“Have you never seen a hairless cat before? It’s just an earmark of her breed, she’s a Sphinx. She’s also super friendly. I would tell you to not be afraid but honestly, she does look a bit like an alien,” Sirius stepped closer so Bastet could sniff Remus. Now that he recognized her as a cat he was less nervous about her. Still, the odd appearance had him ill at ease.

She chirruped at him and he reached out a hand to stroke her head. It was odd. It was warm and smooth and covered in a fine peach fuzz. She turned back to Sirius after a moment and after a quick telling off she demanded to be released and trotted back upstairs. “You’re not allergic right?” Sirius asked helping Remus out of the jacket.

“Aren’t hairless cats for people with allergies?” Remus asked, adjusting the cuffs on his sweater and walking further into the apartment trying to stay on his guard for anything else odd.

“That’s a myth. People are rarely allergic to hair; they are allergic to dander which is caused by the cat grooming itself. Although I suppose with a weekly bath she’s more allergy-friendly,” Sirius considered.

“You bathe your cat? How barbaric,” Remus settled on a couch, it was blue and comfy.

“You have to bathe sphinxes,” Sirius argued, settling next to him. He folded his legs onto the couch giving Remus his full and undivided attention. “You never answered the question, are you allergic?”

“To the alien you share your house with?” Remus asked and got a nod. “No, I am not.” Sirius looked relieved at this. Remus knew it wouldn’t matter, he could start eating Acrivastine like candy to keep seeing Sirius.

“So did you invite me over with no further plan?” Remus asked and Sirius leaned on his arm on the couch seeming content to just admire Remus.

“I was expecting you to snoop some more,” Sirius confessed.

“Snooping is rude, especially in a space of someone you barely know,” Remus informed him with an eyebrow raise.

“I am an open book. If you find something that intrigues you feel free to ask,” Sirius spread his arms as though to indicate the apartment was at the disposal of Remus.

“Why would I snoop, you're not that fascinating?” Remus quipped, Sirius’ mouth dropped open, and Remus gave him a smug little grin.

“Jerk,” Sirius commented. “Come on, how about I feed you and we will talk about the snooping thing later.” Remus followed Sirius to the kitchen. He sat at the counter while Sirius opened the freezer.

“Why are you so determined for me to snoop?” Remus asked as Sirius hunted through the freezer for something. Sirius picked up a cup and frowned at the interior.

“Why is the paint cup in the freezer?” he muttered to himself and set the frozen cup in the sink. It was cute to see him so scattered. Remus was beginning to see that the carefully put-together appearance was just a mask. “So that when I visit you I can snoop?” Sirius commented as he moved back to the freezer. Eventually, he pulled out a box and closed the freezer.

Remus frowned when Sirius read the back of the box and pulled out a frozen veggie lasagna. He wasn’t against frozen meals, they kept him going but it did not look like ones that went in the oven and the microwave ones were trash. Sirius set down the box and confirmed his worst fears by stabbing the film and sticking it in the microwave.

“Sirius, I am not eating microwave lasagna and if you eat that I will not kiss you,” Remus threatened. Sirius frowned at him.

“Well, what would you propose mister food snob?” Sirius asked. Remus got up and opened the fridge.

“Veggies. We can do a fry or a salad,” Remus started removing fresh veggies from their produce bags onto the counter and paused. “Why do you have asparagus? You don’t like asparagus.”

“I don’t know. You would have to ask James, he does a weekly food shop for me because if he left it to me I would forget. Something about I need veggies even though they will get thrown out in a bit. Don’t know what his problem is, I have delivery services, I will not starve,” Sirius commented as Remus closed the fridge and carried the veggies over to the sink to rinse them.

Remus tried not to smirk when he noticed Sirius push the frozen pasta into the bin. “You need greens in a diet, you know, it’s good for you,” Remus informed him, poking through the cupboards until he found a colander and dumped the veggies in it, excluding the asparagus. Do you have a knife and cutting board?”

“You sound just like James when he is yelling about my unhealthy diet,” Sirius huffed but came around and collected a knife and cutting board for Remus. “Although it is nice to have someone in my kitchen cooking real food for once.” Sirius set the cutting board and knife in front of Remus. He was standing close enough that Remus could smell his cologne. He glanced over and down.

He didn’t recall giving himself conscious permission but he was leaning down and kissing Sirius. He heard the solid clunk of a knife and glanced over to see Sirius had pushed it away from the edge where they might accidentally bump it. Hands slid into his hair redirecting his attention. He loved the way Sirius kissed, it was warm, sweet, and open. He didn’t hold himself back and as a result, Remus didn’t either.

“You’re trying to distract me from preparing you a wholesome meal,” Remus accused when they broke apart. Sirius shrugged, seeming unashamed.

“You started it,” Sirius reminded him. Remus did not argue because technically Sirius was right. He had started it. Remus returned to the veggies and soon had a simple but very delicious veggie fry.

There was very little conversation during dinner, Remus prided himself on making a dinner delicious enough to render Sirius quiet for a little bit. “I believe you are a wizard, there is no way you made that in my kitchen with the ingredients you had access to,” Sirius commented at the end. He collected the plates and loaded them into the half-full dishwasher. Despite the disorder of the place it wasn’t dirty or messy.

“Good food isn’t always complicated. Simple and easy can be good too,” Remus informed him. Sirius nodded and reached above the fridge. He liberated a bottle of red and shook it at Remus.

“You can’t drink, you have to drive me home,” Remus pointed out. Sirius set the bottle down on the counter.

“One glass is not going to make me tipsy,” Sirius argued, hunting for a corkscrew. He caught sight of Remus’ face. “It’ll bother you?” it wasn’t really a question since Remus was sure his face was displaying all of his displeasure. “Fine, we'll drink soda like nerds.” The bottle was placed back on top of the fridge and a couple cans of soda were removed instead. They moved back to the blue couch.

“So, when did you decide you wanted to be an artist?” Remus asked, gesturing to the paintings all over the apartment.

“When I got bored being a layabout,” Sirius admitted. “I was always drawing and painting when I was younger. Drove my mother insane. She wanted sons who embodied masculinity. Whatever the f*ck that means.” Sirius rolled his eyes and flicked his hair back.

“I don’t know, her son looks pretty masculine from where I’m sitting,” Remus commented and Sirius wrinkled his nose at him.

“I just flipped my hair out of my face in a gesture that made the nineties cringe and I did it with sparkly painted nails to boot. Masculine is not a word many people would use to describe me,” Sirius pointed out.

“Many people are wrong about many things,” Remus plowed on. Sirius gave him an indulgent smile.

“Either way a gay child who wears makeup, nipple tassels, and nail polish wasn’t part of her plan. I didn’t really fall in with anything though. She made me take piano lessons, which stuck but not because she insisted I go. I put my piano teacher through hell, poor man. I hated French lessons, etiquette lessons, and ballroom dancing. It was worse because it was very clear, very early, that this wasn’t just to teach us kids how to behave. It was matchmaking. Our parents were picking out proper spouses. I bolted when I was fifteen. However, being comfortably wealthy with not much to do can mess up anyone. James’ parents suggested I find something I enjoyed to keep me busy. I always liked art and it’s one big middle finger to the business bullsh*t my parents want me to do,” Sirius didn’t seem to notice when his arm fell over the back of the couch and rested on Remus’ shoulder.

Remus briefly considered not reacting, negatively or positively. Eventually, though he shifted so he was properly under that arm. It slid into place. He liked how it felt to be in Sirius' hold even just slightly. “And your wife was?” Remus needled wanting to pull Sirius back to the present fun moment.

“This shrill little blonde girl, something LeStrange. It was even worse because my cousin Bella married her older brother,” Sirius made a face and pinched Remus’ arm. “Don’t be jealous that I was engaged at ten years old. I never even had a proper conversation with her.” Remus glanced up through his eyelashes.

“Did you hold her hand?” Remus offered his own hand trying to ignore the scarring. Sirius' beautiful unblemished hand slid into his own.

“A couple of times,” Sirius admitted, seeming to admire the way their hands fit together.

“See that is the childhood sweetheart equivalent of second base so she got further than I did,” Remus commented. Grey eyes met his and narrowed. That was all the warning he got before he was tipped back on the couch and eager lips met his. He melted against the warm body pinning him to the couch.

Hands slid under his sweater and the kiss was broken as the sweater was peeled off and tossed to the floor. Remus found it surprisingly easy to lose himself against those hot lips. Sirius' mouth traced over his earlobe and his hips jerked when Sirius bit down on the lobe. A low appreciative sound and a repeat of the action implied that this action was being actively sought out.

He enjoyed making out with Sirius on the couch and having those amazing lips and wonderful hands map his body. When hands slid under the hem of his shirt he remembered all the reasons he shouldn’t be naked in front of another person. Already without a sweater was revealing more skin and scars than he normally allowed. “Sirius,” his voice must have held enough distress because those lips stopped on his neck and he shifted back. “Too much too fast,” Remus commented.

Sirius removed his hands and held them up which meant he wasn’t supporting his torso so his head smacked into Remus’ chest. “Smooth,” Remus commented. He was grateful when Sirius climbed off him and offered him his sweater. “Sorry. I’m just not the type to really sleep with someone so early.”

“So do I need to wait until it’s fully dark out or…” Sirius hedged and Remus shoved his shoulder. “Sorry it was a needed joke but you’re also right.” Remus felt some of the tension leaving the room. Sirius agreeing with him meant they were on the same page, hopefully. “I am going to buy condoms so I have them when we do decide to have sex.”

“You told me you always carry condoms,” Remus pointed out and Sirius shrugged.

“I do, there’s some in the bike but if you think I am going all the way downstairs to get a condom and then coming all the way back upstairs with a boner you have another thing coming,” Sirius shot back.

“So, if I was ready right now you wouldn’t go get a condom?” Remus asked. He knew he was about to regret the question. Sirius got a sh*t-eating grin on his handsome face. The smug look made Remus want to pull his hair or do something ridiculously juvenile.

“Nope,” Sirius popped the p. “I would call down to the concierge desk and ask if they had any or would be willing to fetch me any?” Remus gave him an unamused look.

“How is that easier than walking down to your vehicle?”

“It’s not but it means I don’t have to leave my apartment or stop touching you,” Sirius commented so blasé. Remus flushed at the implication but felt flattered. “Besides, it's their job to do stuff for the residents. I am only offering them a task.”

“That is one of the most conceited things I have ever heard in my life,” Remus commented with an almost audible eye roll.

“Well stick around James says I get absolutely insufferable ‘round my birthday and the holidays,” Sirius lounged arrogantly on the couch but the sweet smile on his face soothed the edge of his voice.

*~*

Chapter 6: Sugar Baby

Chapter Text

TW: implied mentions of suicide

Remus barely had time to text on Wednesday so only gave short answers to Sirius but agreed on an early lunch on Thursday. “This only seeing you two times a week thing sucks,” Sirius commented when Remus opened the door for him.

“We see each other nearly every day at the coffee shop,” Remus reminded him, stepping back into the apartment to track down his shoes. Sirius leaned against the doorframe. “You know unless you’re a vampire and need to be invited in, you can enter.”

“Well if I was a vampire that would be an invitation,” Sirius countered but did step in shutting the door. He glanced around the small space. Remus saw his composure slip for a fraction of a second. Remus checked under his bed, how did he lose his shoes, the apartment wasn’t very big? He saw them peeking out from under the couch. Sirius made his way over to the only other door in the apartment and opened it as though expecting to see another room. It technically was, just with a toilet and an itty bitty shower cubicle. “Um… not to be rude but where is the rest of your apartment?”

“Oh no, I work eighty hours a week to live in this water closet,” Remus commented. Sirius frowned, closing the door to the bathroom.

“Where do you do your laundry?” Sirius asked, making his way back across the room to the kitchen. He examined a small plant living in the window. It had been a gift from Lily when he had moved in. It had apparently taken her four hours to decide which of her children to adopt to Remus. Despite his black thumb he was determined to keep it alive just so Lily wouldn’t kill him.

“There are a few machines in the basem*nt,” Remus answered easily. “Are you ready?” he asked, retrieving the leather jacket from the hook on the back of the door and making sure he had his wallet.

Sirius still seemed to be having trouble with the concept of the limited space. “You said it was quirky,” Remus reminded him. Sirius nodded distractedly. Remus waited for him to reboot. He knew he and Sirius lived in completely different worlds. He simply hoped it wouldn’t hit Sirius this hard every time.

“I was hoping to be able to snoop,” Sirius looked dejected.

“I mean, there’re drawers under the bed but they’re just books and clothes. This is it,” Remus gestured to the small space he called home. Honestly, it wasn’t bad as long as he cleaned and picked up after himself. Sirius poked at the drawers but seemed disturbed by the lack of snooping he could do.

They left the apartment after that and Sirius led the way to a cute French bistro. Remus rolled his eyes when Sirius held out the chair for him but secretly liked it. It was romantic and cute. “So like I was saying before I was derailed, I hate only seeing you twice a week,” Sirius informed him and Remus frowned at him.

“Unless you have a twin you’re not telling me about, I spend my break every day with a rather convincing body double,” Remus informed him, looking up from the menu to meet grey eyes.

“I meant properly outside of your place of work,” Sirius amended. Remus looked back down at the menu.

“You’ll have to get used to it. This is how my life works at the moment,” Remus responded. He felt the panic set in a moment later. What if Sirius didn’t want to get used to it? What if he was planning on breaking up with him? His stomach filled with ice water.

“Can I entice you to change it?” Sirius asked. Remus’ felt his frown deepen and he looked up again. Sirius looked nervous. That did not bode well.

“How would I do that? I’m really glad that you have the money to keep your life comfortable but if I miss a day because I’m sick or in too much pain to work I fear rent day.” Remus didn’t really want to have this conversation with Sirius. He was not into the raven-haired man for his money and never wanted that thought to enter Sirius' pretty little head.

“That’s sort of what I’m implying,” Sirius responded and Remus let this conversation run through his head. Some pieces clicked. He didn’t like where this was going.

“Instead of implying and us possibly talking in circles could you just spell it out for me?” Remus set down his menu to give this increasingly cryptic conversation his entire attention. Sirius fidgeted with the edge of the napkin. Remus didn’t like talking in circles, he much preferred straight to the point and easy to follow. He didn’t like the idea that Sirius was the one attempting to talk him in circles.

“Are you familiar with the concept of sugar… Daddy?” Sirius asked, not looking up from his contemplation of the napkin. A pin could be heard dropping between them. The tension was suddenly thick. Every muscle in Remus’ body went tense.

“You want to pay me…. To have sex with you…. Like a sex worker?” Remus asked, his tone now clipped and a little cold. Sirius' eyes flew up and he was already stuttering out a response before Remus reached the end of his sentence.

“No… no… that’s not what I… no… I…” Sirius sputtered. Remus kept his face blank as Sirius paused and took a breath. “I wasn’t going to make sex part of whatever agreement we reached. That would never be a part of… what we agreed on. I don’t want a partner in my bed for any other reason than we like each other and want to have sex… with each other.”

“So, then what are you proposing?” Remus steepled his fingers together and evaluated Sirius levelly over his fingertips. He was feeling a little offended now. He hadn’t liked this conversation since the beginning and it got worse with each word from Sirius. He seemed incapable of anything but putting his foot in his mouth.

“The pleasure of your company for double what you are making at either the restaurant or the coffee shop, your choice,” Sirius responded, still seeming ready to bolt. Remus held his gaze until Sirius looked away.

“I want you to consider what would happen if James walked in and said the same thing to Lily that you just offered me. Do you think he would leave with all of his appendages intact? The only reason you are not being shredded verbally or physically is because I don’t have the energy to do either. I am, however, deeply insulted. Have a good day Sirius,” Remus stood up. He removed the leather jacket and set it on the back of the chair. It felt like all the wind had been taken out of his lungs. He had known Sirius and himself existed in opposite worlds, he hadn’t expected it to fall apart that quickly.

--

Remus loosened one arm from the pillow he was holding. His phone was ringing. He’d been ignoring it and his doorbell for a while now. However, the opening chords from Fat Bottomed Girls told him he better answer. If Lily was calling instead of texting it was a big deal. “‘Lo,” he sounded how he felt. Completely beaten and flattened by the world.

“Now I can see why James risked me thinking he was a stalker and tracked me down at the restaurant,” she commented and Remus made a noise that did not sound happy. Of course, Sirius had told James. That was all Remus needed. “What happened Moony?” her voice was soothing.

“James didn’t tell you?” he asked. That was promising at least. He didn’t need the rumor mill at the restaurant hearing his name and sugar daddy, lord knows the conclusions they would jump to.

“No, he simply said that Sirius messed up and was convinced you hated him. So, who am I beating up? You for being an idiot, Sirius for being an asshole, or James for being… well James?” she asked. She sounded like she was driving home.

“No one,” Remus muttered and swallowed. She waited and finally, Remus blurted out the whole thing. He hated it. He hated all of it. “He was so assured that he would pay me.” Remus was still so annoyed. He was not something to be bought.

"And? Why didn't you take the offer? It's not like he was asking you to have sex with him. Just to spend time with him. You could spend time at the restaurant working your arse off or instead just be cute eye candy." Lily sounded like she thought he was stupid. Remus frowned. He was not about to be bought and traded like some commodity. He was a person.

"Hush, no, you're not supposed to react like this, I used you for my example as to WHY I wouldn't do this,” Remus had been dead sure her reaction would be negative. Miss Independent didn’t need no man even if she did give Remus her credit card occasionally so she couldn’t adopt any more leafy babies.

"What do you mean?" she asked, sounding genuinely confused. Remus sighed and rolled onto his back.

"I told him to think what would happen if James had asked you the same thing,” Remus still stood by his example, it was solid. Lily would eviscerate any man who so much as looked in her direction with a sugar daddy offer. Or at least that’s what Remus had assumed.

"Oh, I would have denied it, but only because it's James and that's just how our relationship works. Though if he was genuinely serious about it..." she seemed to be considering it. Great so he was wrong about his best friend.

"God damn it, Lily! You're supposed to be on my side!" he exclaimed. He wasn’t sure who he was more annoyed at now.

“I am but honestly you’re being a bit silly. You could be making double just to hang out with a guy you actually like,” Lily pointed out. Remus was sure his frown could be felt through the phone. “What’s the problem?”

“Aside from my best friend basically suggesting I allow some rich bloke to treat me like property. I don’t need his money, I am fine,” Remus was well aware his bank account was now near zero since he’d paid rent.

“He doesn’t want property. He wants to spend time with you when you’re not on the clock. Honestly, Remus, it's a good idea. You are working yourself into an early grave with this two jobs, barely four hours of sleep nonsense,” Lily informed him.

“I won’t let him buy me like this,” Remus was stubborn.

“Ok so don’t but breaking up with him completely seems a bit like overkill,” Lily was right but Remus had been so offended. He rubbed his face. Complicated, his life was complicated. They spoke a bit more and Remus hung up the phone. He was not looking forward to his double.

--

The only thing worse than a double greeted Remus the next morning. The dreaded illness. Sore throat, fever, and every joint ached and he had to use his inhaler just to stop coughing long enough to tell his boss that he wouldn’t be in. They didn’t like that Remus was off sick but luckily he had a doctor’s note with the managers about his conditions. Unfortunately, he did not have sick time to cover his hours but it didn’t matter. They would have sent him home with how his voice sounded.

He collapsed back into bed and texted Lily.

{I didn’t do it:} Sick. It’s bad.

{I would do it again:} Oh babe that sucks. I’ll bring you some soup and a plant later.

{IDDI:} Did you say a plant?

{IWDIA:} I don’t recall saying plant. I’ll be by later. You’re not allowed to die before then.

--

He was sick on Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and even a bit of Monday. So sick at one point he was hauled to the clinic by Lily. They gave him heavy-duty cough syrup and sent him home. She made sure he was fed. He didn’t really feel better on Tuesday but since he didn’t have a fever he figured he could at least put in the hours at the coffee shop. He was already worried about how he would make his bills.

“You back from the dead?” Lily asked when he stumbled in. Remus shook his head and placed his bag on the back of the chair. She took in his slumped form and sighed. “Sit down at the register. I’ll get stuff up and running.”

Normally Remus would argue. It was a two-person job to open the shop but he didn’t have the energy. He barely had the energy to sit at the register and watch her flit about. She managed to get the place ready with five minutes to spare. “He’s been by every day. Always asks after you,” Lily murmured, watching the clock to open the door. There were a few cars in the parking lot already.

“What did you say?” Remus asked and picked up his water bottle to soothe his irritated throat. Today was going to suck.

“I simply told him you were feeling a bit below the weather. He seems to think you are avoiding him,” Lily glanced down at him. She didn’t ask, she knew Remus wouldn’t use his illness like that. “I was tempted to tell him to mind his own business.”

“I thought you were on his side,” Remus pointed out. She shrugged.

“Just because I hate seeing you work so hard for so little and making yourself so sick doesn’t mean I’m on his side. You’re my best friend. I’m on your side always,” Lily answered. She touched his shoulder gently and went to let in the hordes of caffeine-addicted fiends.

Remus was right, the morning sucked. By the time the crowd moved on his head was throbbing and his throat ached. Thankfully, Lily was a force of nature. She had made all the drinks all on her own and managed to get the café cleaned up in record times. Remus tried to be productive and do the order but the computer screen just looked like squiggles.

The afternoon rush was worse. Remus was beginning to think he should have just stayed home. He was useless and seemed to be creating more work for Lily. She knew why he was there though so didn’t tell him a million times to go home. “Do you think if I drank all the codeine the doctor gave me I would be able to drift off in my sleep?” Remus asked. Lily smacked him with a towel.

“Remus John Lupin, you keep up that kind of talk I will personally kick your ass,” Lily informed him. Remus believed her. “So, he really offered to be a straight-up sugar daddy?” Lily asked and Remus made a face. Of course she would want to talk about this. In all fairness Remus wanted someone to make sense of it for him.

“In so many words, yes,” Remus stated. “I have never felt more objectified and insulted. It was like he stopped seeing me as a person and saw me as something to buy.” He was still struggling with the issue of the whole thing. He was insulted that Sirius had even insinuated that their relationship could be based on something like a transaction.

“If he wasn’t paying for sex is it really so objectionable? No, listen, you work eighty hours a week. You could work forty and make more than you do now. You would get to hang out with Sirius,” it was nearly the same advice she’d given him on the phone the other day. He hated that it made sense.

“I can’t let him… pay me. What if the relationship goes south? He’s not going to pay someone he’s not seeing anymore. What if I want out? I can’t leave him if I’m financially dependent. There are too many ways for this to go from innocent to sinister. I’m not going to sell my freedom and soul for a pretty face,” Remus informed her.

“We don’t have freedom, Rem. That’s the thing. I’ve never understood the derision around sex workers and p*rn. We all sell our bodies; they just gamed the system. We put our bodies through the wringer for a corporation along with our mental stability for pennies,” Lily complained. Remus didn’t disagree with her but he couldn’t make that leap.

“I don’t want a sugar daddy. I want an equal partner whom I can walk away from at any point for any reason or no reason,” Remus responded. He wasn’t going to walk into a cage, gilded or not. Perhaps he was in a cage now but at least it was on his terms and he carried the keys. Or perhaps Sirius was leaning through the bars offering him a key. He pushed that thought away.

“Do you really think that Sirius would use his money to keep you?” Lily finally asked the question that seemed to be at the heart of the whole thing. Remus compressed his lips into a thin line. That was the crux of the problem.

“I don’t know. I didn’t think he would offer what he did. The only thing I am clear on now is that I don’t know him at all,” Remus responded. That was the frustrating part. He felt like he had glimpsed beneath the mask and was about to see more than a mysterious bachelor with enough money to make god look like a pauper. He wasn’t interested in that side at all.

He was interested in the side that accidentally placed a cup of paint water in the freezer. The side that bathed a very angry alien. The side he thought he was getting to know at that apartment. The side that brought him carrots and hummus just to make sure he ate. He hated that it all was gone. He hated that Sirius had turned back to his money instead of just letting things happen.

Lily was frowning at him. “Well that’s all well and noble but know that I am judging you so harshly right now.” Remus’ mouth dropped open.

“I thought you were on my side?” he demanded and she nodded.

“I am on the side of my friend who is hurting and hating the person that did that to him. However, I am not on the side of the friend who turned down a hot guy for something as simple as spending time with him. You could have at least discussed what this meant. I doubt it was as objectionable as your mind made it out to be.’”

“You stood across from me at that counter not too long ago warning me to be cautious because he was a player. What if he throws money at every person he likes and I would be another notch in his bedpost,” Remus retorted. His temper was flaring even with as tired as he was. He didn’t want to fight with Lily but he felt like his valid points were just getting swept under the rug. Everyone wanted more money, but that was not the point.

“Honey, with how he looks like he does, he doesn’t need money. Walk that face and ass into any gay club anywhere and he could have anyone. Hell, I think Dorcas would go straight for a night,” Lily informed him. Remus rolled his eyes. She wasn’t wrong but he didn’t want to admit it. It didn’t change the main fact of the thing.

He was not a prize to be bought.

*~*

Chapter 7: Don't Return Gifts

Chapter Text

“Ow,” Remus looked up from his book when Lily pinched his arm. He frowned at her and she nodded toward the front. Two very familiar people stepped through the door. Remus didn’t even bother putting his book away. Lily just sighed and picked up a small cup and started making James’ usual. Remus rang the man up for a small vanilla latte. At least he was predictable. As soon as he paid, he moved to get his verbal lashing from Lily.

“I thought you were avoiding me,” Sirius' voice was soft. Remus wanted to lean into it. He wanted to fall into the man who smelled so nice and let him hold him until he felt better.

“Lily told me,” Remus answered, not having the mental bandwidth to get into a deep conversation. He kept his eyes on the computer. He punched in a green tea latte.

“I can see now that you’re not feeling well… Look… I know we’re not in a good place but will you at least let me give you a ride home?” Sirius asked, passing over the twenty-pound note. Remus was shaking his head before Sirius had even finished the question. Riding the bike was a surefire way to upchuck, and not to mention he was not strong enough to stay on. Added to the fact that getting that close to Sirius was not an option and it was just a whole bucket of no.

“I’ve been navigating this city on my own for years. I’ll be fine,” Remus set the change on the counter leaving Sirius no choice but to deal with it himself, and picked up his book. He didn’t actually read any of the words, just held it in front of him. He could hear Lily and Sirius talking but didn’t bother to tune in properly. He was aware of eyes on him, so he deliberately turned a page.

Sirius moved away from the counter and Remus gave an unhappy sigh when a hand pushed down his book. “Wanna make it convincing you should make sure the book is the right way up next time.” Lily removed the book from his hands and flipped it over. Remus flushed and closed the book, setting it on the counter. “Go talk to him, please. I can’t handle the kicked puppy routine.”

“Thought you liked kicked puppies based on the way you treat James,” Remus grumbled but held up his hands in defeat when she glared at him. She poured him a mug of Earl Grey and he made his way over to the table. “Don’t think this is for your benefit. If Lily doesn’t get her way she will dynamite her way through granite.”

“James go do something,” Sirius waved him off. James got up with a roll of his eyes.

“Wanna talk about people who will dynamite their way into whatever they want,” James gestured at Sirius. Remus managed a small smile at that. James made his way to the counter to speak to Lily.

Remus fidgeted with the tag on his teabag, folding and unfolding the small piece of paper. “I want to apologize for upsetting you,” Sirius finally spoke. Remus didn’t look up. If he looked up with how sh*tty he was feeling he would give in. “I want to keep seeing you.”

Remus sighed. “I don’t know if we should do that. I don’t want to date someone who sees me as something to buy,” Remus replied, still not looking up. Sirius was pretty and dangerous. He could see compromising his values and morals just to be with Sirius.

“I offered the arrangement because I like you. I wanted to spend more time with you… Also, I… was skipping a few steps,” Sirius' voice was guarded now and despite himself, Remus looked up. He was struck by the look on Sirius' face. It was cold and a little lonely.

“What do you mean skipping a few steps?” Remus asked, wanting to wipe that look off Sirius' face. Sirius sighed and now his eyes dropped to the bright green beverage in his hands.

“The Blacks are not exactly an obscure family. Almost everyone knows who we are and everything. I am used to not being seen as a catch by myself. People hear my name and think ‘ca-ching the bank is open and I have my own personal ATM’. I figured if I just offered the money straight up you wouldn’t start pretending to have feelings for me for the money,” Sirius commented, picking up his spoon and swirling the green before taking a sip. Remus could tell he didn’t like it.

“I didn’t agree to date you for clout or money or whatever the f*ck else people do these days. I agreed to date you because you are cute and sassy. I like my dates with a heavy dose of sarcasm. I never wanted your money,” Remus assured him. He had never dated Sirius for the money. He worked hard for what he had and he was proud of it. He would never ask for handouts. He was fine with letting Sirius pay for their dates and such but even the leather jacket had been out of his comfort zone. It had felt wrong to accept such an expensive gift from a new relationship.

“Karma. And you mean to say you didn’t date me for the karma or to go viral?” Sirius asked and Remus wrinkled his nose. He threw a straw wrapper at Sirius.

“You sound like a Z’er stop it,” Remus announced. Sirius rolled up the wrapper and tossed it back. It hit Remus in the middle of the forehead. “If you promise not to bring up the sugar daddy thing again I will go on another date with you.”

“I like the idea of a relationship not based on my money,” Sirius reached across the table and Remus slid his hand into the other’s. “I’m still allowed to give you presents right?” Remus sighed and tutted at him.

“If you must,” Remus worked to sound very put upon but honestly there were worse things than getting gifts from Sirius Black.

“Will you let me give you a ride home?” Sirius asked picking up the green drink to sip at it. Remus wondered just how much of it Sirius would drink to save his feelings. It was clear from his expression he hated it. Remus wasn’t really a fan of the matcha flavoring either.

“I’m not a hundred percent Sirius. I would not be able to stay on the bike,” Remus was sure he would throw up and possibly slip right off if he got on the bike going at any speed. He wanted to accept. He wanted to be pressed close to that lovely man and smell his cologne but he didn’t want to risk his precarious recovery.

Sirius frowned at this and Remus watched his eyes flit over his face, likely taking in the pale color. “Can I send a driver around? I don’t want you taking the bus when you look like death warmed over,” Sirius' voice was cautious. Remus sighed.

“Only because I don’t want to be stuck on a bus for an hour,” Remus relented. The sweet smile he got along with the gentle hand squeeze made it worth it. Maybe Sirius just liked taking care of people and Remus needed to chill the f*ck out.

--

Remus bounced on his heels as he waited for the car Sirius had claimed he would send. He let out a heavy sigh as a sleek town car pulled up in front of him. “Ridiculous,” he breathed as the mirrored window rolled down.

“Mr. Lupin?” the man asked. Remus wondered what Sirius had told the driver.

“That’s me,” he answered. He took a step toward the car but the man hopped out. He was wearing a suit. He made his way to the back door and opened it. Remus held back his annoyance. He was not some chick in a romcom he could open his own bloody doors. Of course, maybe it was part of the man’s job. Remus climbed in and tucked his bag at his feet. The door was closed. Silence descended, it was shocking to exit the loud city streets to this quiet car.

The driver slid into the front seat and the car pulled away from the curb silently. “I’m sorry, what's your name, sir?” Remus asked uncomfortable with this whole thing. He didn’t like the idea of this man thinking Remus was above him in any sense. He was a lowly service worker too, he just had a rich boyfriend. Whoa, slow down Remus you just agreed to see him again. No one is anyone’s boyfriend, the little voice in the back of his head that often sounded like Lily reminded him.

“Tobias Dobbs, Mr. Lupin. Though you can call me Dobby,” the man chuckled softly, “Mr. Sirius started calling me that when he was ten years old to annoy his mother. Now everyone does,” The affection in his voice when he spoke of Sirius was sweet.

“Call me Remus please,” Remus offered. Green eyes flicked to the mirror.

“Oh no sir I could never be so informal,” Dobby stuttered and Remus sighed. Of course not. He was likely worried about Remus being offended by such casual language. He hated the world.

“You can call me by my first name. Mr. Lupin is my tad,” Remus responded, pushing just a little. Dobby’s eyes were once again in the rearview mirror.

“All right Mr. Remus. Mr. Sirius gave me your address, do you need to stop anywhere else first or would you like Dobby to run any errands for you?” he asked. Remus was glad to have won at least part of the battle.

“No Mr. Dobby please just take me home,” Remus responded. He got a scandalized tut from Dobby but noticed his pleased little grin.

Remus was glad when they pulled up to his building and Dobby opened the door for him. “Should I tip you?” he asked digging in his pocket for the cash he had picked up during the day.

“Mr. Sirius pays Dobby very well and I would not be comfortable accepting tips from friends. You have a lovely day Mr. Remus and please feel better,” Dobby responded, waving him off. Remus made his slow way up to his apartment. He barely stripped off his clothes before collapsing into his bed. He groaned when the doorbell rang a few moments later.

“Go away,” he muttered into the pillow before hauling himself up. He grabbed his robe and pulled it around his form. He opened the door wishing again to have a peephole. Sirius stood on the other side.

“I brought you soup,” Sirius answered the confused look he was getting. Remus frowned.

Remus felt his brain jam. Why was Sirius here? The bag of soup gave him a partial answer. After a moment he decided he didn’t care. He didn’t want to be standing anymore. He let Sirius into the small apartment and quickly scooped up the scattered clothes and dumped them in the hamper. He collected a pair of pajama pants and a T-shirt.

“I like this look on you,” Sirius remarked playfully. Remus flushed and ducked into the bathroom to change. He returned to his bed while Sirius poked around the kitchen looking for bowls.

“I’m not going to be good company,” Remus informed Sirius as he poured the soup into a bowl and placed it in the microwave.

“I’m not expecting you to be good company. You worked all day and are feeling like sh*t,” Sirius answered. “I don’t like the thought of you trying to take care of yourself while you feel so bad.” Remus noticed him examining the new plant Lily had brought over.

Remus huddled under his blankets accepting the soup when Sirius brought it over. It was nice and warm, it soothed his throat and helped his stomach stop twisting. “I hope you don’t mind that it’s not chicken noodle. There’s this little vegan restaurant that I always get soup from when I’m feeling poorly.”

“Not every meal needs meat in it. I am rather partial to a lot of Asian cuisines and most of it is pescetarian,” Remus responded, dipping his spoon back into the soup. It was wonderful and had a deep flavor without being too salty or spicy. They ate mostly in silence and at the end, Remus was feeling wonderfully full and relaxed. He didn’t argue with Sirius about taking a bit of cough syrup the doctors had given him. He did ask Sirius to set his alarm and plug in his phone when his codeine-addled brain remembered he had work in the morning. He fell asleep to long fingers dragging through his hair.

--

Remus woke up to a lovely spicy scent and the sight of Sirius asleep in his bed. He quickly silenced his alarm and wiggled his way carefully out of Sirius' hold. He crept into the bathroom and sat on the toilet lid. This was not part of the plan. He fumbled with his phone.

{I Would Do It Again:} Really Remus if you’re going to have a boytoy over you could tell me so I don’t walk in and violate my virgin eyes.

The timestamp was for just after three in the morning so Remus assumed she had come by after her shift at the restaurant and let herself in with her key. The picture attached looked much the same as he had woken up. Arms around him and him curled up against Sirius. It looked a little odd since he was so much taller but it also looked right.

{I Didn’t Do It:} Nothing about you has been virgin since we were thirteen and watched that really bad p*rno together.

Remus stood up and dumped his phone on the edge of the sink before turning on the shower. He let the water warm up while he brushed his teeth and exchanged a few more texts with Lily. He climbed into the tiny shower cubicle and let the honestly pathetic water pressure wash over him. It did nothing to loosen his shoulders. It wasn’t even as warm as he would like. He scrubbed his hair and had to spend so much longer than he liked convincing it to rinse out.

He climbed out and wrapped himself in a small towel. At least the main room of the apartment was warmer. “This is the second time in as many days that you have been in a partial state of undress. Are you trying to signal something to me?” Sirius' voice was heavy and husky with sleep.

Remus spun around to face Sirius, nearly falling over since he was putting on socks. Luckily, he managed to keep his balance. “I will come right out and say it when I want to have sex with you,” Remus informed him, pulling on a pair of jeans, grateful he had put on boxers before Sirius was awake (he hoped.)

“I like open communication,” Sirius offered, sitting up and running a hand through his hair making the curls look delightfully sleep-tousled. He yawned and reached over for his phone. Remus pulled on the white t-shirt he wore under his uniform shirt. “I need to head out and go check on my cat and open up the gallery, I have a large sale coming in. Can I take a shower?”

“You can try but fair warning my shower is sh*t,” Remus answered, picking up his bag and sorting through it to make sure he had everything. Sirius made his way into the bathroom. Remus heard the shower click on and then off.

“I’ll shower at home,” Sirius replied. “Come on, I'll give you a ride to work.” Remus shrugged on his uniform shirt and followed Sirius down to the car park. “Are you feeling better?”

“I am actually. I think last night eating and sleeping properly helped,” Remus responded as Sirius unlocked the saddle bag and pulled out their helmets. Remus let him put the helmet on his head and clip it into place.

“Oh, this is yours. Break up or not please don’t return gifts. I mean for you to have them no matter our personal feelings for each other,” Sirius handed Remus the leather jacket he’d left at the café. Remus flushed slightly but nodded, taking back the coat.

He climbed on carefully behind Sirius and wrapped his arms around the thin waist. He settled in close and double-checked to make sure his leg wasn’t against the exhaust pipe.

His head spun a little as they drove through the streets so he knew he wasn’t at one hundred yet. He was glad when the bike stopped and he was able to slide off. He spent a moment getting his world to stay still. Sirius undid the helmet and tucked it away. “Can I see you tonight?” Sirius asked.

“I don’t get done at the restaurant until after one but tomorrow is Thursday so you can come by in the morning,” Remus answered. Sirius hesitated.

“What if I pick you up at the restaurant and we spend the evening and Thursday at my place,” Sirius countered. Remus was tempted. “I’ll keep my hands to myself. Scout’s honor.”

“Why do I get the feeling that you were never actually in scouts?” Remus asked and Sirius shrugged.

“Probably because I wasn’t,” Sirius pointed out.

“Ok you can come get me but we have to swing by my flat so I can get a change of clothes. I don’t fancy being in my uniform for Thursday,” Remus insisted and Sirius nodded.

“One more question and then I will let you go so you can let Lily in,” Sirius assured him. Remus sighed and gave him an impatient stare. “Can I kiss you?” Remus felt his heart melt a little. He loved that Sirius had asked instead of simply kissing him in the middle of everything. Still, he wanted to tease a little so he tapped his cheek.

If he hadn’t been looking for it, he would have missed the flash of disappointment in those handsome features. Still, Sirius leaned in and placed a kiss on his cheek. When he pulled back Remus turned his head and tapped his lips. A smile graced those features and Sirius moved back in to kiss him properly.

Their lips met and that same electricity and heat flared between them. Suddenly he was tugged against Sirius. That was fine. He leaned down properly and wrapped his arms around the other man. Just as their tongues slid past each other a loud throat clearing occurred. They jumped and broke apart. Lily was standing at the metal back door, arms crossed and foot tapping.

“Go, I’ll see you this afternoon,” Sirius unwound himself from Remus. Remus made his way over to the door.

“So, I thought it wasn’t like that,” Lily said in a loud voice that would surely carry. Sirius was leaning against his bike and lighting up.

“It’s not… shut up,” Remus responded, fumbling with his keys. It took him a minute to find the right key.

“He stayed over at your house last night. Are you going to be not a gentleman and kiss and tell me all about it? Is he good, he looks like he could teach you a thing or two,” Lily’s voice was still too loud. Remus chanced a glance at Sirius, even several feet away he could see those eyebrows being raised suggestively. His face burned red.

“Of course I am going to tell you. Get inside the café,” Remus practically shoved Lily through the now-open door. One more glance and he could see Sirius was laughing at them.

*~*

Chapter 8: You're Fired

Chapter Text

TW: Karen

Remus managed to get clocked in at the restaurant on time… barely. The shift at the coffeehouse had been hell all day. So much so that he hadn’t been able to sit with James and Sirius when they came in for their caffeine fix. He’d been buried at the counter. The crowd had died down enough that he had shared a quick kiss and a promise to text the address of the restaurant so Sirius could come pick him up later.

Now he was sore and tired but he had eight hours to put in here. He tied his apron around his waist and made his way up to the hostess stand. Lily was there, her bright red hair contained in a neat ponytail. “What’s my section look like tonight?” he asked, looking over her shoulder and placing a hand on her back so she didn’t trod on his toes.

“You have the left section and three bar tables since Seth called out and Dorcas can’t do all of the bar tables on a game night alone,” she answered, circling his section on the chart. It was a larger section than he would have liked and he would be taking the stairs down into the bar all night. He sighed but nodded. Lily had no control over the sections. “I’ll try not to seat the bar too much.”

“You’re an angel,” Remus informed her and moved to make sure his tables were all set up. He was glad to have refilled all the condiments and salt because despite her best efforts the restaurant was full and on a twenty-minute wait an hour into service. Remus hated the whole day. He never liked working two packed shifts back to back.

He knew he was wearing out and making silly mistakes. Most of them he managed to correct before the customer or a manager noticed but it was still annoying. And most customers were very understanding with how busy it was. “So, what time do you get off tonight?” a nice male customer at the bar asked when Remus dropped off another beer for him.

“Nunya,” Remus answered, placing his hand on his hip, and flirting back with a wink.

“Oh come on what do I have to do to get that cute butt back to my place?” the man asked. Remus didn’t mind a little bit of light flirting mostly because the man wasn’t being grabby and it usually meant a better tip.

“It’s a very cute butt, but it’s not for you. Sorry Hun,” Remus informed him. “Do you need anything else, another appetizer?”

“Directions to the local gay bar since the man of my dreams won’t tell me when he gets off,” the man replied. Remus shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair.

“I’m sure you’ll live. It’s called Heaven and it’s across town at Charing Cross,” Remus answered a bit cheekily. “You can find it on Google.” He made his way back to his other tables. He delivered a ticket to a table with two men and their dates. Until very recently the table had been abrupt and nitpicky but not overtly rude. Now he was getting a bad vibe from it so left them with a distant goodbye.

He wasn’t surprised to find they hadn’t tipped at all. He hated the slight panic when he noticed them talking to the manager. He worked on clearing tables and Lily stormed over in a towering temper. “What’s up Red?” he asked, clearing the plates. She gathered the cups and followed him into the kitchen.

“Those two assholes that just left, they were bitching because you flirted with some guy at the bar. They didn’t like that we had a gay slur working here. Like seriously it’s 2023 get the f*ck over it,” Lily ranted. Remus shook his head scraping the plates.

“That’s alright I don’t need validation from someone with a name like Rosier,” Remus replied, washing his hands, and showing her the credit slip. She wrinkled her nose and they made their way back out to the dining room. He could have groaned when ten minutes later he saw a pink monstrosity being sat in his section. Not just any pink monstrosity, no, this was a Wild Karen being sat in his section. This was not going to end well. Lily apologized as she walked past.

Remus sighed and hitched a smile on his face before walking over to greet her. The initial interaction went well enough. He put her drinks in the computer and went back to clearing other tables. “Hem, hem,” came the first sign of trouble. He glanced over to find her staring at him. She looked like a bullfrog.

“Yes ma’am,” he responded.

“Do you have to clean right now? It’s so unprofessional and that chemical is really strong,” she complained in a dainty little girl voice. Remus wanted to punch her. It was water with a bit of soap mixed in and he felt like dirty dishes might be worse to leave next to a customer.

“I’m just clearing the table so we can seat other guests, ma’am. I am sorry the cleaning fluid is bothering you. I’ll be done in only a moment,” Remus answered instead and finished up what he was doing. She gave a dejected sigh. He made sure she could see him washing his hands before he handled her drinks and then put her food order in. Two more tables were sat, he dropped off a few checks, and another table left.

After a few more tables, and a few more orders, and then Remus was finally able to take out her food. Another table left so once they went through her heavily modified food and she could find nothing to complain about he went to check on his other customers. “How long have you worked here?” she asked when he came around to clean another table.

“I have been here for seven years,” Remus answered, doing a minute of mental math in his head. He’d had this job since he finished secondary school when he was eighteen. He’d actually had this job for about six months before he started working at the coffee shop.

“What did you want to do? No one wakes up and wants to be a server,” she chewed with her mouth open. Remus tried not to make a face.

“I wanted to be a veterinarian,” Remus answered, not bothering to disabuse her of her notions. If she needed to belittle service workers to feel better about herself that was her cross to bear.

“And you were, unsuccessful?” she asked, sounding as sweet as sugar. Remus rolled his eyes when he was turned away from her.

“Obviously,” he answered with a little more edge than he intended. He lifted the full bus tub and carefully balanced it. The tables were sat quickly and once again he was running around making sure everyone was fed and watered. He cleared plates from his tables and dropped checks.

He hauled another full tub up and walked toward the kitchen when a hand closed around his elbow and jerked. “I wasn’t ready for my check yet and you didn’t offer me dessert,” her voice was still saccharine sweet. Remus felt the tub and his balance slip and immediately shifted so he wouldn’t get hurt and she wouldn’t get hit by the tub, the dishes, or his body.

The tub tipped and the whole restaurant went silent as glasses and plates shattered. Remus felt a sharp pain in his hip as he landed with his full weight on his side. That was going to be a nasty bruise. He checked to make sure there was no glass to lean on as he pulled himself carefully back to his feet. “So sorry about that. If you will have a seat I will bring a dessert menu,” Remus informed her. She sniffed.

“Just a manager,” she informed him. Remus gave her a tight smile as Lily appeared with a broom.

“Can you grab a manager, a dessert menu, and a replacement for this table,” Remus lifted nearly full plates off a nearby table that had gotten a spray of ice and glass. Lily wandered off while Remus tried to negate the hazard now in the middle of his section. He was mostly done sweeping up the glass and spilled food when the manager returned. Remus left his section to go collect replacement food.

He didn’t hear most of the conversation. “Come see me in my office after your shift,” the manager told Remus. “I’ve comped her meal as well as the table across the way.” Remus thanked him and dropped off food. He hated the smug look she had on her face as she ate her brownie. She left no tip and Remus felt drained and sore.

All his other tables left wonderful tips but he was glad when the night was over. He cleaned up his section and did the nightly paperwork before texting Sirius that he was done for the night. He knew he was in trouble when he stepped into the small office at the back of the kitchen and was asked to close the door. “I’m sorry but I’m going to have to let you go,” the manager said solemnly.

Remus felt the floor spin out from under him but kept his composure. He had rights and so had several questions before he would accept this as proper. “For what reason?” he asked. The manager picked up his employee file.

“Excessive tardiness, issues with reliability, inappropriate behavior with guests and other employees, and just tonight I had two complaints and about a hundred and ten pounds of shrink from you,” he read off in a bored monotone. “Beyond that, it is bad for team morale to have you out sick all the time.”

It came down to his chronic ill health. His doctor’s note didn’t matter. It didn’t matter that he had been here for seven years and introduced one quid beer Mondays to draw in the college crowd. The management had never been happy with his shoddy health and now they had the excuse they needed to get rid of him.

“This was always going to happen. You just needed an excuse,” Remus muttered. The manager wouldn’t meet his eyes. He passed Remus the termination papers. Papers he had to sign telling that he had been informed of his termination. He added his own notes as he was allowed to do. “I want a copy of this and my employee file,” Remus stated coldly. The manager got up to make the copies. He turned in his end-of-shift paperwork, his apron, and his dirty uniform shirt. Normally he would have taken it and washed it before returning it but it was their problem now. He was handed his last paycheck, a terribly small amount due to the lack of hours.

“I’ll fill you in tomorrow. Sirius is waiting for me in the parking lot,” Remus said to Lily, feeling a bit numb as he retrieved his bag and jacket. She frowned, noticing no apron or work shirt, and gave him a consoling hug.

“Get some rest,” she told him and Remus gave a noncommittal shrug. He made his way out to Sirius waiting on the bike.

“You look worn out,” Sirius commented, placing the helmet on Remus’ head and doing up the clip.

“I am worn out,” Remus informed him. He held back on telling Sirius what had happened. He didn’t want to deal with the inevitable conversation that would follow. He climbed onto the bike behind Sirius and tried to overcome the numb dread eating away at his insides.

The ride felt like it went quicker than normal. Remus packed up a change of clothes and some pajamas. “I’m gonna grab a quick shower.”

“You can shower at my place. I have actual water pressure,” Sirius pointed out and paused. “That was not meant to sound as obnoxious as it just did. I apologize.” Remus felt like on any other night he would have smiled at that little bit of awareness from Sirius. It was tempting and Remus wasn’t in the mood to turn away temptation.

“That should be fine,” Remus agreed and zipped his bag shut. He followed Sirius back down to the bike. He could feel exhaustion properly roll in when they made their way up to Sirius' flat.

“Bathroom is through here,” Sirius showed Remus into a bathroom that was bigger than his living space. “Towels,” Sirius opened a cabinet and grabbed a few towels. “The towel rack is heated so they’ll be warm when you’re done.” He hung the fluffy towels over the rack. He also dug out a new toothbrush for Remus.

Remus was glad when he was left alone. This whole thing was ridiculous. Sirius had activated charcoal toothpaste that likely cost more than Remus’ entire grocery bill. It took Remus a good twenty minutes to get the shower to make water and not steam. It was a waterfall spigot that dumped enough water to soak Remus through in seconds. He stood under the water letting the pressure and heat work out the knots that were keeping him upright. It was there in that space that he let himself fall apart. He kept the noise to a minimum not wanting Sirius to come find him while he cried on the floor like a child.

So he bit his fist and sat under the heavy flow of water letting it rinse the saltwater as it came. He didn’t feel better afterward, just more tired. He washed, not caring that he was using Sirius' toiletries, and cut the water. The towels felt like they were fresh out of the dryer. Remus dried himself and made sure to wipe up any mess he left. The toothpaste was weird with black bubbles.

He made his way back into the open floor of the apartment. Sirius was sitting by an open window. A cigarette dangled loosely in one hand, the other idly stroking the cat. His gaze was unfocused and glazed. Remus felt awkward about interrupting until he realized Sirius wasn’t lost in thought, he was struggling to stay awake for Remus’ benefit. “Siri let’s get some sleep,” Remus ran a gentle hand over his shoulders.

Sirius startled, and the cat gave Remus a dirty look as the hand stroking her stopped. She moved over to a cat tower in the window and began violently bathing herself. Sirius stumped out his cigarette and led Remus up to the raised platform. Remus took the side he could tell was not used and plugged in his phone charger.

The bed was sinfully soft, it was like sinking into a cloud. He lay back as Sirius padded about getting ready for bed. He didn’t recall falling asleep, startling awake slightly to be shifted under the blankets noticing the apartment was dark around him. It was luxurious and he felt Sirius try to give him reasonable distance in the king-sized bed but Remus wanted warm human contact tonight. He curled up against Sirius and hummed happily when an arm wrapped around him.

--

“They fired you over that?” Lily asked over the phone the next morning. She was at the cafe but apparently, it was dead so she had called Remus to find out why he wasn’t on the schedule at the restaurant anymore.

“Could you not shout, I have a headache?” Remus commented, wincing at her sharp tone as he sat on the couch in the corner of the room trying not to take up too much space. Based on the low snores Sirius was still asleep. He had a feeling Bastet was trying to con him into feeding her or giving up his soul. He was unsure of which as he ran a tentative hand over her back. It was an odd sensation. The thin baby fine fuzz and her warm wrinkled skin. He had tried to sleep in but even on days off, he was up far too early.

“You should sue,” Lily commented, completely ignoring his comment about her being quieter.

“You sound so American when you say stuff like that,” Remus informed her as Bastet curled up in his lap purring. “I’m not going to sue. I’m going to apply for benefits and look for another job,” Remus already had a few leads. It would likely only take him a week or two. Still concerning but not dire.

“What happened to your job?” Sirius asked and Remus glanced over at the pretty sleep tousled man standing before him. He looked nice, slightly backlit, and shirtless.

“Call you back Lil,” Remus informed her and clicked off the phone. “I had a rough night at the restaurant and it ended with me being fired.” He looked down at the animal in his lap. He was still trying to process being fired himself. It was a rough thing to stomach. He had been employed at that restaurant for his entire adult life. Going to the restaurant five days a week was a part of his identity.

Sirius sat down nearby and stroked his hand over the cat curled up in Remus’ lap. “Should have known something was up. She doesn’t usually leave me in the morning,” Sirius commented. He looked at Remus with deep concern in his grey eyes.

Remus sighed. “I am going to put in my CV to other restaurants in the area. I’m just concerned with limited hours because of the cafe that people aren’t going to want to hire me.” He had spent years arranging his schedule so he could work both jobs reasonably. Without even thinking about it he lifted his hand to his mouth and chewed off his nail.

Sirius reached over and took his hand. “Sweetheart don't eat your fingers. I’m already rather fond of these hands,” Sirius gently kissed each fingertip and allowed his own long fingers to trace over tendons and scars alike. Remus usually didn’t like any attention on his scars, he hated them. However, with Sirius, it didn’t feel like they were less than. He seemed to just see them as Remus.

“Nervous tic,” Remus answered and again Sirius' eyes met his. He shifted and Sirius' fingers twined with his. It was nice holding someone’s hand. It had been so long since he’d done something so simple with someone. It eased some of his nerves.

“Are you going to be ok? I know money is tight with you even working properly let alone being sick and now down one income,” Sirius commented and Remus ran his free hand through his hair. He was concerned about his ability to meet all of his commitments now. He swallowed against the lump in his throat as he considered the consequences of not being able to meet all his obligations.

Finally, he shrugged. “I don’t know,” he answered honestly. He fought against the panic trying to overwhelm him. Sirius kept his hand wrapped up in his own. Remus shifted closer to the offered comfort. Sirius smelled like sleep and that heavenly scent that Remus was sure had permeated his dreams the night before. He allowed himself to lean against the other.

“I don’t want to see you homeless so while I know I risk triggering your pride or anger I just ask that you hear me out. I am not trying to buy you or lead to our relationship becoming transactional in nature. I want to help because I have the means to,” Sirius suggested, his voice hesitant. It took everything in Remus not to tense up and push Sirius away. It took everything in Remus not to collapse and just accept the offer. He was so mixed up. “As someone I care about I want to make sure you’re ok.”

Remus chewed on his lip regretting the action as a small slip of skin made his bottom lip sore. “I have something to show you. Let’s get dressed, I need you to drive somewhere.” He slipped free of Sirius' hold and got a confused look. He touched his hand to Sirius' lips when it looked like he was going to argue. “Just get dressed. I have to show you something. We can talk after.” There was no help for it. Remus was about to fail the one person he never wanted to let down.

*~*

Chapter 9: Negotiations

Chapter Text

Remus directed Sirius with instructions spoken practically in his ear even with the helmet between them. Sirius for his part did not ask a lot of questions. He had dressed when Remus asked and seemed willing to follow directions. They left behind the apartments and the tight urban sprawl that was London proper. The houses out here were a little bit bigger with gardens and flowers in boxes in the windows.

Remus gave him the address to stop at and Sirius easily pulled the bike to the curb. “Care to tell me what we’re up to?” Sirius asked as helmets were removed. Remus led the way up the sidewalk to the familiar home. It was a lovely blue color weathered and faded as the years of damp weather showed. The shutters were a bright green, Hope had painted them when she was around. She had always liked the color green. One of the shutters was a soft yellow since she had run out of green paint.

Sitting at the small table set up in the garden was the hunched figure of his dad. He was playing a card game of some sort with another person. Lyall wasn’t all there mentally but he was still very good at card games. Poppy noticed him before Lyall, this was usual. She made some excuse to the old man and made her way over to Remus.

“Remus, Anwyl, this is a nice surprise. I thought you weren’t stopping by until next week,” Poppy, his father’s main home care nurse greeted him. He didn’t bother with proper, he came around the fence and hugged her. She had been with Lyall for so long that it was hard for Remus not to see her as family.

“I wanted to introduce someone important,” Remus answered when he pulled back from the hug. He gestured to Sirius. Poppy looked him up and down.

“Nice pull,” she muttered to him in Welsh. Remus flushed slightly but agreed. “He’s not really in the best headspace today. Woke up convinced he was going on his first date with Hope tonight. I’m afraid he won't know who you are.” Remus glanced over at Lyall. He was absorbed in the cards, likely playing solitaire since his playing partner was busy.

Remus frowned and nodded. He knew his dad’s condition, the accident combined with early onset Alzheimer's meant Lyall was having more bad days than good but Remus hated that he was losing him. “You are welcome to come and say hi although he’s a bit on the rude side today.” Poppy was an angel, she never lost her patience for Lyall even when he was being a difficult patient.

“No I don’t want to upset him if you’ve spent the morning just getting him to relax,” Remus replied. Poppy touched his arm briefly and then returned to Lyall. “Most of my income goes to keeping him here in the house he picked with my mam and keeping the nurses on staff so he doesn’t have to go to a care home. I don’t care what happens to me. I just want him taken care of.” Remus didn’t even glance over at Sirius as he spoke.

He very rarely spoke of his parents. Lily had been there for Hope’s funeral and had sat with Remus in the hospital after his father’s accident. She knew what was happening with Lyall but Remus had never brought her over once the mental deterioration started. In fact, he had never brought anyone here, he didn’t want anyone to know that his own tad didn’t recognize him.

The gentle hand on his elbow was a welcome comfort. He glanced back at Sirius. “It's good of you to take care of your dad like this. I am sorry you have to work so hard to do so. My offer was not conditional on where you spent the money aside from hopefully using it to keep yourself from being homeless.”

Remus sighed and made his way back to where the bike was parked. “I don’t want you to assume I am only dating you for your money,” Remus felt like this was a relevant point. One that people just kept skating past.

Sirius gave him a look and slid a hand along his cheek. “Would you date me if I was poor?” Sirius asked softly. Remus sighed and leaned into the touch. Sirius' hands were so smooth and warm. Either that or Remus was just easily distracted.

“That’s easy enough to say yes to, since you are not in fact, poor,” Remus pointed out and Sirius considered this for a moment.

“I never worry about you taking me on a ride for my money because you have never demanded a single thing from me. You look flabbergasted and even a little uncomfortable when I do something expensive,” Sirius commented. Remus sighed as Sirius stepped closer. He smelled really good mixed with the late summer flowers and plants. It was deeply unfair of him to smell that good and look so completely edible when Remus was trying to formulate a logical response.

Remus twined his fingers with that distracting hand removing it from his face. “And if I want to leave and am unable to because I am financially dependent or you want me to leave but don’t want to subject me to homelessness or whatever else you’re worried about?” Remus felt like this was another important point. What if either of them became unhappy in the relationship?

“At that point, we can decide the future but if we decide to end our relationship we can talk about the financial aspect. Perhaps it will be like a two-week thing, after that, no more. Or it could be an agreed-upon severance amount or even a continued balance until you get to a position of financial independence,” Sirius mused. Remus scowled at him.

“You’ve done this before,” he accused and Sirius immediately shook his head.

“No I haven't, I just have a deep connection with my Google search engine,” Sirius assured. Remus settled at that. At least Sirius was going into this just as blind as Remus felt. “Come on, let's go to lunch and I’ll show you what I know.”

--

It was an uncomfortable afternoon. Remus didn’t really like talking to anyone about his money problems. Still, by the end of it, he was less worried than he had been in years. They returned to Sirius' flat after lunch and Remus returned to the bed to take a very long nap. He could hear Sirius puttering about and talking to the alien-looking creature. He could smell the tobacco when Sirius lit up and him arguing with the cat. Bastet wanted to be outside, but Sirius did not want her outside. She was not pleased with this. He wasn’t sure when he drifted but he woke up a while later. He could smell acrylic paint and Bas was curled up next to him.

“Hello,” he said to the cat and got a soft trill when he stroked her head. She stretched and yawned before settling on Remus’ chest and purring contentedly. “I was going to get up,” he told the smug beast. She didn’t even bother opening an eye, just purred louder. He let the rumble lull him back to sleep.

When he next stirred it was not because of the cat. It was because of Sirius. He was sitting in the bed and poking at his phone. “Sorry I didn’t realize the volume wasn’t off,” Sirius commented. Remus scrunched up his face and slowly pushed himself up.

“It’s not a problem. I know better than to sleep during the day. I won’t be able to sleep at a reasonable hour tonight,” Remus commented, moving to snuggle against Sirius' shoulder. He hummed happily when a thin arm wrapped around him.

“I could help with that,” Sirius teased, his hand briefly tightening on Remus’ arm. Remus hummed in consideration.

“Might take you up on that,” Remus nuzzled into Sirius' neck. He heard the huff of surprised laughter. He had never been opposed to being close with Sirius; he just wanted to make sure it was more than just a conquest. “Don’t tell me you’re all words and no action.”

“Definitely not,” Sirius informed him. The phone was locked and dropped on the side table. Remus was suddenly under Sirius and being kissed. Not that he was really complaining, it was nice. He buried his hands in the silky locks of dark hair. Sirius made short work of his shirt tugging it off. “Been wanting to see you topless since that first date.” Remus blushed but felt warmed at the words. They were obviously meant.

When Sirius sat up to remove his own shirt Remus lost the ability to function on a human level. Sirius was too pretty to be real. His skin was pale like someone had used starlight to paint him. It was dusted with dark hair and dark tattoos. Remus’ eyes traced the designs.

Bright patches of color ran along his left ribs, they were styled to look like smears of paint running down his ribs in rainbow colors starting with red and ending in purple right over the waistband of his pants. Small footprints that looked like they might be inked onto a map walked across his lower belly leading Remus to the four words that marched down his other side: Bravery, Daring, Chivalry, and Courage. He had a dog print on his left pec and the outline of a cat filled with the swirling dust of a galaxy on his right. It was located next to the Orion constellation on his upper right arm with the Sirius star featured prominently. It was an impressive collection of ink.

“I expected more of your tattoos to be point and stick like this one,” Remus commented when Sirius leaned back over him. He traced the simple x on Sirius' left hand.

“I told you I got my first tattoo at sixteen. James gave me this one. He has one on his left hand too. I gave it to him that same night. It was right after I ran away from home. James and I made our vow to be best friends and brothers forever,” Sirius answered as Remus traced the x again. It was a cute story.

“I can’t imagine sitting through some of this,” he traced over some of the designs enjoying the feeling of Sirius' skin under his fingers.

“I have more,” Sirius commented but didn’t elaborate. Instead, he covered Remus completely and kissed him. Their tongues tangled and Remus had to remember how to breathe when a knee nudged his legs open. The room that had been almost too cold before was now far too warm.

Remus didn’t fight the warm leg pressing between his or when a warm hand snaked between them and worked on opening his jeans. He lost all words and ability to think when Sirius wrapped his hand around his co*ck. It was only half hard but he quickly hardened the rest of the way in Sirius' hand.

It had been so long since someone else put their hand on his dick. Sirius was good too. Right off the bat. His fingers were elegant and long and wrapped around Remus in a completely new way. The pressure and friction were wonderful. “This angle is sh*t. I’m gonna take off your trousers and pants,” Sirius informed Remus and sat up to do just that.

Remus tried not to feel self-conscious about the scarring over his torso and legs or the currently untended hair that covered his lower body. Sirius didn’t seem to mind. His hands slid up Remus’ body and cupped his co*ck. “You have a nice dick,” Sirius commented and Remus glanced at him with what was clearly written on his face. “What some dudes with nice faces have sh*tty dicks? It’s nice to know your handsome face and sexy bod comes with a nice dick. I bet your ass is just as pretty.”

Remus blushed deep to the roots of his hair. He was fairly sure he had never met someone as shameless as Sirius. Well, Lily but she didn’t count he had known her his entire life. “You can’t leave me as the only naked person here.”

“You’re right that is totally unfair of me,” Sirius let go of Remus’ dick which he did not approve of, and stood up from the bed, another thing Remus did not approve of but then skin-tight black jeans were undone and pushed off along with pants and Sirius stood naked in front of him. Remus would never complain about that.

“You have a nice dick too,” Remus blurted out before he could second-guess himself. His legs bore some more ink, an intricate feather was detailed across his thigh and a rope wrapped around his lower leg in a beautiful design that even someone as vanilla as Remus recognized as bondage. He also meant what he said.

Sirius was a lovely creature in the nude with dark hair dusted across his legs and a nest of velvet curls at the base of a pretty co*ck. It was pink and curved slightly to the right. He was uncut and there was a drop of precum at the slit. “Glad you like it,” Sirius commented and climbed back onto the bed easily.

Lips met wet and messy now. Remus’ hips jumped when Sirius wrapped a hand around him again. Remus hesitated for only a moment before allowing his hand to travel down and wrap around Sirius' co*ck. The low groan he got for his efforts was lovely.

The kiss was mostly just them breathing heavily with their lips pressed together. It took Remus a second to get the hang of the angle. It had been forever since he’d done this for another person. Every cell was singing as he and Sirius stroked each other. He enjoyed the heavy smooth skin in his hand.

He wasn’t going to last long with the delicious scent of the man wrapping around him, Sirius' smooth skin pressed against his, and their knuckles brushing as they stroked each other off. Everything felt so heightened in this space. He opened his eyes so he could see Sirius’ face.

The grey of his eyes was nearly obfuscated by the blown wide pupils. His cheeks were flushed and his hair was messy around his handsome face. Remus could see his lips were swollen from kisses and being chewed on. He let his head fall back on the pillows so they could admire each other and continue moving.

His strokes got a little sloppier as Sirius' hand sped up. Sirius on the other hand seemed to keep his hand moving even as he sank into the pleasure of another touching him. His breathing was the only sign of something happening. Remus used precum to ease the strokes and twisted his wrist on the upstroke. Sirius' hips moved and his breath came out in a low huff.

That was favorable. His other hand slid over the chest and he came in contact with a pierced nipple. How had he not noticed that on his visual inspection of Sirius’ body? Remus tugged lightly on the nipple and that garnered a low groan and a throb from Sirius. “f*ck Rem,” he breathed against Remus’ ear.

His name in that low tone combined with the air against his ear had a low groan escaping Remus as he throbbed against the hand holding him. “Do you like me saying your name? Does it turn you on, sexy?” Sirius asked, his warm breath still washing over Remus’ ear.

“f*ck, Sirius,” he breathed his hips jumping up and he could feel the grin before a warm mouth closed over his earlobe.

“Such a lovely man pinned under me right now,” Sirius murmured when he released the abused earlobe. “You gonna fall apart for me Remus?” That was all Remus needed. He spilled between them with a broken groan. Sirius' name was ripped out of his throat as he was stroked to completion. His world shattered and reformed as ropes of white cum spilled over the elegant hand wrapped around his co*ck and his own stomach. How he kept his own hand moving was a mystery.

He felt Sirius tense and then with a low groan, he spilled with a shudder. More cum landed on Remus’ skin and spilled over his own hand. He managed to open his eyes long enough to see the end of Sirius' org*sm face. He was so gorgeous like this. His lips parted, eyelashes resting on pale cheeks like coal dust, and a pretty flush covering his face, and down over his neck and chest. His hair was wild and sweat glittered on his skin.

Then Sirius collapsed against him. He was skinny sure but heavy. Remus didn’t mind the extra weight, it was just unexpected. Sirius had his head buried in the pillows, one leg was slung over Remus possessively. Sweat was cooling on his skin and so was cum but he didn’t even care. He had never had a partner cuddle with him after any sort of sex. He liked it.

It was a while before Sirius shifted. “Sorry you probably don’t want me laying on you,” Sirius murmured and Remus caught his arm.

“It’s fine, I like it,” Remus admitted and felt Sirius relax though he turned his head to the side. Remus matched the action so they could meet each other’s eyes. “I don’t see how jerking off in the middle of the afternoon is going to help me do anything but take another nap and again f*ck up sleeping at night.”

“If you need me to jerk you off again to help you sleep I will happily oblige,” Sirius answered. Remus was unsure how he could still blush. He had this man’s spunk drying on his stomach.

“Surprised the offer is only for a handjob,” Remus remarked, he would have thought with how explicit Sirius had been in the past it would have been for more. Sirius reached up and lightly stroked his face.

“I want to have a conversation about that,” Sirius finally responded and this time sat up. “Stay in bed,” he said. Remus didn’t really feel like moving anyway so he stayed put. Sirius returned with a few water bottles and a damp flannel. Remus let Sirius fuss about wiping cum off his stomach and took the water offered.

“A conversation about what? Are you about to claim you’re a virgin because I call bullsh*t,” Remus informed him cuddling against Sirius. Usually, as the taller one he was cuddled against. He was thrilled Sirius was willing to cuddle him despite the slightly awkward angles.

“I am not a virgin,” Sirius agreed. “However I am also not typically conventional. I like to be in charge.” Remus paused and processed this information. He’d been with several men who enjoyed kinky games in the bedroom. A lack of conversation usually meant when they broke out the ropes Remus bailed. He was not going to get himself into a situation when he didn’t know the rules or a clear way out.

“What does that mean for us?” Remus asked softly, running his fingers over the paint splotches that decorated Sirius' side.

“It means if you’ll let me I would like to introduce you to the world of kink. Explore your limits if you will allow me,” Sirius answered. Remus’ stomach flipped and tightened at the idea. It wasn’t an adverse response. “I am sure you have some hard limits, things you never want done, everyone does but I would like to cover the rest with you.”

It was an intriguing idea. Remus could also already tell Sirius was being safer than his other partners had been. Wanting Remus to consent and accept the idea, not just throwing it at him when he was already hard and ready to go. He swallowed. “How much in charge?” he asked softly.

“More so than you are allowing right now. Your career is yours. I would never do anything to jeopardize your job, even as much as I wished you didn’t have to have one. I would also never interfere in your relationships with family and friends but when we’re together I would want to be the one to make the decisions and call the shots,” Sirius answered. Remus was surprised his brain didn’t immediately reject it. “You don’t have to decide anytime soon. I am willing to give you time to do your research and ask questions.”

“Do you have a… Written explanation,” Remus asked. His brain tended to process things better if they were written down and he could read them. Sirius paused here.

“I have a contract I used in university, mainly so I could cover my own ass. I would be willing to dig it up and modify it if you want,” Sirius sounded hesitant and Remus understood why. Contract was scary and binding. Remus on the other hand liked the idea. It would give him a clear window into what Sirius was asking for.

“That sounds like a good place to start,” Remus agreed.

*~*

Chapter 10: First Rule

Chapter Text

Remus woke up the next morning and glared at the animal that had woken him. “You know this is the first full weekend I have had in a long time and on one of the days I could sleep in you wake me up early,” Remus ran his fingers over the cat who had been pawing at his face. She settled onto his chest purring happily. “Spoiled,” he commented.

She glared at him as though she knew what he had said and jumped down. Remus sat up and stretched before glancing at the other side of the bed. Sirius was not there. He could smell coffee though, so perhaps the raven-haired man was up and moving. He padded his way down to the lower level. Sirius was painting something and looked like he was making the ultimate mess.

Remus retrieved a cup of coffee, after making sure the mug was not full of paint water. It wasn’t good coffee but it wasn’t bad coffee. It tasted like someone who wasn’t sure how to make coffee had thrown grounds into the filter until it looked right and then turned it on. Strong and weak all at the same time.

He set it to the side with a grimace and walked over to the fridge. He picked up a carton of milk, the expiration date was a few days away. Remus sniffed, it was still good and the eggs were also fairly fresh. He ended up grabbing some shredded cheese, spinach, and tomatoes out of the fridge as well. He hunted up the cutting board and a knife. He was halfway through the tomatoes when Sirius made his way over. “You know I usually subsist on coffee and granola bars and get food for lunch.”

“As someone who has your coffee that sounds like a war crime but if you insist you can have your nasty coffee and granola bars. I am going to have a Spanish omelet and take a shower,” Remus pointed out. He made sure the knife was not moving before he looked up at Sirius. He was looking down at his cup perturbed.

“It’s not bad coffee,” Sirius complained. Remus barely held back a snort at the childlike annoyance on Sirius' face. He took the mug from Sirius and poured it into the sink. He poured the carafe of coffee down the drain too.

“I will have you know I don’t generally make coffee on my days off, so I expect major ass kissing,” Remus rinsed out the carafe and the basket before placing a clean filter in it and measuring out a decent amount of grounds.

“You’re lucky I remembered to put grounds in it. Last week I made James coffee and forgot to add grounds so we drank hot water that smelled like someone was thinking about coffee nearby,” Sirius commented.

“Oh so like La Croix,” Remus responded and Sirius' brow wrinkled. “It’s angry water that smells like someone is thinking about fruit really hard in the next room.” He managed to say this with a straight face as he returned to the tomatoes.

“You’re an odd duck,” Sirius finally decided as Remus finished the tomatoes.

“Perhaps, do you want an omelet?” Remus asked him wiping his hands off.

“I thought you weren’t making me one?” Sirius argued.

“I wasn’t making you one because you came over here presuming I was making you breakfast. If I offer or you had simply asked, the argument about your war crime coffee and stale granola bar could have been avoided,” Remus set the tomatoes off to the side and picked up the other bowl so he could crack the eggs.

“If you are offering, I would like an omelet,” Sirius replied. Remus quickly cracked six eggs in the bowl and soon had a pan filled with the lovely yellow eggs cooking to fluffy perfection. The tomatoes, spinach, and cheese all added their own lovely colors and fragrances to the air.

“How does a grown-up not have bread or peanut butter in his kitchen?” Remus asked, opening the empty bread box. He pulled out two clean mugs and filled them both with dark coffee and passed one to Sirius.

“James goes food shopping for me. He doesn’t buy me bread anymore. Something about if I am not going to use it, he’s going to stop buying it for me. As for the peanut butter thing I am allergic,” Sirius responded. Remus’ hand paused where it was stirring the eggs.

“You’re allergic to peanuts but you go into random cafes and say surprise me,” Remus smacked Sirius' arm. Sirius looked surprised. “You complete… Nincompoop. What if I had surprised you with a peanut butter latte or something of the like?” Another smack. “I could have killed you.” And another.

“Ow,” Sirius caught his hand and stopped him from beating him up. “Whoa, settle.” Remus huffed and pulled his hands free. “I didn’t know a peanut butter latte was a thing. I always check what you give me so just breathe.” Remus went back to the pan and the eggs and folded them neatly.

“What if I had cooked for you and made something with peanuts? I make pesto and it has peanuts in it,” Remus informed him crossly going on a search for plates. He was still annoyed at Sirius for this one and felt it was appropriate. Sirius simply shrugged and his lips pressed together like he was trying not to smile at the annoyed huff from Remus.

He served the omelets and they ate at the counter. Remus proceeded to rinse the dishes he used and placed them in the dishwasher. “Unhand me you savage, I need to shower,” Remus commented when Sirius' arms came around him.

“Can I join you?” Sirius asked, nuzzling against his neck. Remus shivered at the feeling of the stubble and a puff of warm air against his ear. Strong arms were wrapped around him. He wanted to melt. He was still slightly nervous about what Sirius had said last night. Remus felt Sirius shift slightly. “We don’t have to do anything.”

Remus could feel his heart rate starting to pick up. “It’s not that I don’t want to do anything, I just don’t know what you expect of me,” Remus responded. Sirius' gaze felt like a warm woolen blanket. His lips quirked up in a small smile. It was almost a smirk but it lacked the arrogance.

“Well, I had a thought about that this morning. Instead of dumping everything all at once and potentially overwhelming you for now we could start simple,” Sirius' voice was silky and intoxicating. Remus found himself sinking into it.

“And how would we do that?” Remus asked. Sirius nibbled on his ear. It made Remus shiver as goosebumps broke out over his skin. It was unfair of Sirius to have this kind of effect on him so easily. They weren’t even doing anything.

“I have a set of rules I like my partners…” Sirius paused, his hands flat on Remus’ stomach. He seemed to be considering something. “My ‘subs’ to follow.” Remus swallowed but didn’t interrupt. The word made butterflies erupt in his stomach. “I’m only going to ask that you follow one…for now.”

Remus swallowed again and placed a hand on the warm hands on his stomach. “What is this rule?” Remus asked unsure if he wanted to know but also wanted Sirius to tell him. Would he be able to follow it? Would he be able to submit to someone like what Sirius was hinting at? What if he hated it? What if Sirius no longer wanted to be with Remus because he was so vanilla and inexperienced?

“I want you to ask for your pleasure,” Sirius responded. Remus’ brow furrowed. What did that even mean? Answering as if he could read minds, Sirius continued, “Meaning you don’t touch yourself without asking me. You don’t org*sm without asking me. I want to claim your pleasure, make it mine.” Remus felt heat climb up his body. Letting Sirius claim him sounded amazing.

Remus considered the request. He wasn’t much of a masturbator anyway. He didn’t usually have the time or energy. It had been a long time since he had pulled on the ol’ schlong with any true intent. He had gotten off sure but usually, it was more time and energy than he wanted to spend on such a fleeting bit of relaxation. He’d used it as a sleep aid. “All the time?” Remus clarified.

“All the time. You could be here while I am out and about and if you want to masturbat* you need to call me. If you are at your place and feel the urge, you need to reach out. When we’re in bed together I want you to ask me to cum. Can you do that for me, Remus?” Sirius' voice was warm velvet promising such wonderful things. A hand ghosted over the front of his pants.

Remus had to work to keep his thoughts from scattering. He considered how it would feel to surrender something so simple to Sirius. It wasn’t a bad feeling, in fact, it was kind of nice. It made his skin warm and tingle. He also liked that despite the closeness and the hand tracing the top of his trousers Sirius was giving him room to think. He wasn’t touching Remus and pushing him to answer. “And if I mess up?”

“Then we talk about it. Maybe you incur a punishment or maybe we have a grace period while you learn how to handle this rule. The whole thing is about consent. I am not about to strap you down and beat you for slipping up on a new thing. All new things are learned. I expect you to be a diligent student but I don’t want perfection. I want us to learn each other and grow together,” Sirius informed him. Remus forced himself to take a deep breath to chase away the tightness in his chest and the slight lightheadedness he was feeling. “I will also keep you well sated… usually… if you will allow me to.”

Remus’ head was spinning but he took another deep breath. He liked Sirius and honestly, this was tame compared to what he was imagining. He could give this to Sirius. This was a good starting point to see if they were compatible in this way. “Ok,” his voice was soft.

“Hmm… What was that, baby?” Sirius asked softly. Remus cleared his throat.

“I would like to try that,” this had proper volume and confidence behind it. Sirius' smile was warm against his ear.

“Good boy,” Sirius breathed and Remus shuddered at this. He had no idea why but that sounded delicious and absolutely sinful. He wanted to hear that fall from Sirius' lips for as long as they had together. A fire was burning through his body now. “I just have one more thing to cover and then I think we can go take that shower.”

Remus tried not to huff. What could be left to cover? If Sirius wasn’t going to throw him in the deep end what else did he need to know? “I’m going to give you safewords to give us a base for communication and in case you hate something but don’t want to say no. The brain can be weird like that sometimes. If you hate something and want it to stop, say red, if you’re unsure about something or just need a minute, say yellow. I’ll always ask for clarification on a yellow so I know how to help you. And if all is good, say green.”

Easy enough Remus had seen stoplights his whole life. He knew what the colors meant. One small concern cropped up. "Does that mean if I say no instead of red it'll be ignored?" He didn't mind having extra words to communicate but in a situation he didn't like he would probably default to a standard no.

"If the word no or any other word such as stop leaves your pretty mouth we stop. I'm not into the whole 'no means yes' thing," Sirius assured him. "Does this work for you?" Remus nodded and Sirius slid his arms more firmly around him. “Don’t nod your head at me. We don’t work with nonverbal consent.”

“Asshole, nodding is the universal sign for yes. I understand your traffic lights,” Remus fired back. Sirius' fingers found his nipple and pinched and tugged.

“Sassy, I like it. I’ll find a way to shut down your brain someday,” Sirius made this threat sound like a silk-wrapped promise. Remus bit his lip and thought back over the conversation. He could do this. Sirius wasn’t asking him to be a mindless sex doll. He was simply asking for Remus to submit to him for pleasure. It made Remus feel very happy.

“I do want to make it clear this was not the conversation we have before we sleep together. I am still not ready to go there,” Remus commented. Sirius seemed to have expected this.

“There is a definite conversation we need to have before we have sex and a few steps that need to be taken before that,” Sirius answered. He must have felt Remus’ curiosity because he continued. “I’m not really a fan of condoms, I use them but with partners, I don’t want to. So if you were open to fluid bonding, I would like us to get tested. That way you know I’m clean, I know you’re clean but I will wear them if you prefer.”

Remus flushed. It was so presumptuous of Sirius to just think he was the bottom. Remus turned in his arms and flicked his nose. Sirius looked surprised. “What makes you think I will be bottoming?” He knew the second the lecherous grin crossed Sirius' face he would regret this question.

“I assumed because, well, I’m in charge but if my sweet boy wants to top I’m versatile and very open,” Sirius assured him. The very clear innuendo had Remus flushing again. Before Remus could talk himself into any more trouble Sirius was kissing him. It was a breath-stealing deep kiss that had Remus clinging to him.

“You were right,” Remus informed him. Sirius made an inquisitive noise as he traced damp kisses over his jaw and down his shoulder. “I prefer to bottom.” Sirius' nibbled at his skin.

“Good,” Sirius commented. Remus gasped when Sirius' teeth became sharp and he knew Sirius was leaving a hickey on his throat.

“Could have put it where I can hide it under my uniform,” Remus commented when Sirius' lips met his.

“Nope I want everyone to know you are mine,” Sirius' voice held no nervousness. He was completely confident in his assessment of the situation. His hands slid under Remus’ warm t-shirt and he tossed it on the floor. His mouth was immediately back on Remus’ skin. When that talented mouth closed over a nipple he gasped. His fingers tangled in dark hair.

Remus shuddered when long fingers traced over some of the scars on his torso. Sirius was the first person not to make him feel self-conscious about his scars. He was the first person since Lily to see him without a shirt on. In all his previous relationships intimate moments took place in a darkened bedroom with blankets or in a dim room with him leaving a shirt on.

Remus reached down and pulled Sirius' shirt off. In the bright morning light, he could see the bolts through his nipples, they were slanted through. Remus could see even more ink from this angle, dark circles and semicircles decorated his spine. It took him a moment to realize it was the phases of the moon with the new moon at the bottom. It seemed like the kind of pun Sirius would enjoy. There was also a small tattoo just to the right over the waistband of his sweats. Remus couldn’t make it out from here.

“I’m getting the feeling you are a masoch*st,” Remus commented, thumbing over one of the piercings. Sirius straightened and kissed Remus firmly.

“And a sad*st. What about you Rem?” Sirius answered. Remus had to admire the fact that Sirius never lied to him. He was honest when Remus asked a question. The straightforward blunt way of being was refreshing.

Remus decided to answer the question with his own honesty. “I don’t know.” Grey eyes examined green, and Sirius seemed to be weighing what he was about to say.

“I look forward to exploring that when we reach that point,” Sirius responded. Remus tried to figure out how he felt about that idea. It wasn’t a bad one and it didn’t turn him off. “Come on, let's shower.”

They abandoned their shirts and made their way to the bathroom. Remus brushed his teeth while Sirius turned on the shower to get it to warm up. Sirius stood next to him and also brushed his teeth. It was charmingly domestic.

When toothbrushes were rinsed Sirius' hands were on the waistband of Remus’ pajama pants and Remus let the fabric be pushed down. He was hard but it seemed Sirius had expected this. He gave the stiffy a familiar stroke. Remus thrust into the hold. Sirius chuckled and removed his hand. Remus glared when he stepped away and shed his own bottoms. Then Sirius stepped behind the frosted glass.

One pale hand peaked out and beckoned Remus over with a finger. Remus knew he should fight it or have some dignity but in all honesty, he didn’t. He made his way over to the shower and stepped behind the frosted glass. The water pressure and heat was amazing. “Should book you with my massage therapist,” Sirius commented when Remus melted under the water and a pale hand traced over his shoulders.

“I’m working really hard to come to terms with the paying me thing. Don’t pile on,” Remus warned. Sirius sighed and placed a kiss on the tense shoulders.

“I want to spoil you. I like spoiling people and I will never be able to spend all of my family’s ill-gotten gains. I could at least use it to make you feel better,” Sirius offered. It sounded intriguing like that. Remus glanced over at him, which in hindsight was a mistake. Sirius was looking at him so openly and genuinely.

“You can pay for dates but otherwise go solve world hunger or whatever it is obscenely rich people do with their time,” Remus commented, managing to shove most of the guilt out of the way. He was not going to take advantage of the rich man. He wanted them to be about more than that. He could see there was more to Sirius than that.

“Obscenely wealthy people, or at least this one, spends his days wanking so I am very good with a co*ck in my hand,” Sirius was suddenly pressed against Remus. His hand was wrapped around his co*ck and that thick organ was pressed against Remus’ ass. It slipped between the damp cheeks and Remus groaned.

The water made everything slick. Sirius' hand was around his dick with the perfect amount of pressure. Sirius' hips moved against him causing the water to slide between their bodies and smooth the slide of Sirius' erection up his crease. It was intoxicating and amazing. There was just the slightest pressure on his hole. He placed a hand on the wall to keep himself steady as Sirius pulled him to pieces.

“This is where I am going to insist you ask for your org*sm. Let me hear your pretty mouth asking for me to allow you to cum,” Sirius' voice was breathless in his ear. Remus’ co*ck throbbed at the words being said to him.

Something that felt like shame curled in his stomach making the words impossible to force out. “Siri,” the tone was desperate. Sirius' hand stayed on his co*ck stroking but the other traced over his skin.

“Surrender to me, Remus. I have you I promise,” Sirius' voice was low and confident. “You asking me so sweetly for release will be so sexy. Be my good boy.” The shame faded. Sirius wasn’t going to judge him or use this moment against him. He wanted Remus safe and sated in his arms but he wanted to know Remus was willingly there. He wanted to claim Remus.

His name sounded so good from those lips. The heavy co*ck dragging up his crease, the warm breath tickling over his cheek and the hot water all combined in the best way. Something shifted deep inside him. For the first time in a long time, he felt himself open to another person. “Please, Sirius, want to cum for you,” it was small and probably not enough for Sirius but it took all Remus had. The amount of trust to even do that was surprising.

“So pretty you surrendering your base pleasure to me. Cum for me baby,” Sirius breathed and Remus shuddered as his org*sm reached up and pulled him under. He was sure he hadn’t been that close before. He came with a low groan over the smooth hand. Sirius worked him through the aftershocks. When Remus gave a low sound of discomfort he let go. One arm stayed around Remus.

The co*ck in his crease eased back and Remus could tell from the movement Sirius was jerking himself. A moment later something warm splashed over his ass. Sirius had cum on him. Teeth nibbled on his shoulder as Sirius shuddered and groaned. “I don’t feel like I did it right,” Remus confessed as they actually turned their attention to washing.

“It was perfect for you and especially the first time asking for something like that. You’re battling the shame and guilt we place on sex in this society which is stupid. As we become more comfortable around each other and this dynamic I look forward to you leaving that shame at the door,” Sirius commented. Warmth suffused Remus and he looked down, not in shame but as a mild deflection of the flattery and flushed.

*~*

Chapter 11: STI Test

Chapter Text

“I still can’t believe they fired you. Are you going to find another job at a different restaurant?” Lily asked as they got the café ready to open on Saturday morning. Remus flushed as he remembered the offer he had taken from Sirius. He fidgeted as he thought about the large deposit that had appeared in his bank right after Sirius had dropped him off this morning.

“No. I decided to take your advice,” Remus answered, filling the milk jug and not looking up at the redhead. He was still conflicted about his decision himself. Sure it was nice to not have to worry about his tad’s bills and care or his own rent it was still… odd. Dating Sirius was wholly different to being his employee. Except it seemed Remus was the only one who thought this.

“Always a good choice,” Lily agreed and Remus flicked a straw wrapper at her. “So have you two boned?” she asked stacking packets of sweetener into the holders.

“Has anyone ever told you that you are wholly inappropriate?” Remus groused, adding more napkins to the dispenser.

“You, on a regular basis. Come on, you have to spill. I haven’t been on a date in a really forever,” Lily argued. Remus looked up from his contemplation of the napkins.

“You can’t use that excuse. You would have a date with James tomorrow if you wanted. You’re just picky and stubborn,” Remus pointed out as they stacked everything back in the cabinet and did one last check of the place.

“Ugh, fine, we’re best friends, it is your duty to tell me these things,” Lily tried a different tactic. Remus sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

“No, we didn’t have sex because he’s all about rebelling by being ultra-safe. Proper clothes on the bike and a helmet. I thought this would mean condoms but in a move that feels like our health teacher would kill us he doesn’t want to use them, he wants us to get tested,” Remus informed her.

“Ah, to be a man and only have to worry about STIs,” Lily commented wistfully. She flipped the open sign and unlocked the door. Saturdays were always a nightmare and the morning rush was barely over when the midday crowd came in. Lily was cleaning tables and Remus was restocking the sweeteners when Sirius and James came in.

“An unmanned counter how unprofessional,” Sirius commented. He got the v from both Lily and Remus and neither moved over to the counter. Remus finished his task first and made his way to the machines.

“If you think you are getting anything but herbal tea after that comment you are seriously mistaken,” Remus informed him crossly as he pulled James’ small vanilla latte. Sirius' joking persona dropped off.

“What happened?” Sirius asked when Remus handed over the cup and took the bills from James.

“Busy morning,” Remus muttered as he punched in a butterscotch iced coffee and moved over to make it while James and Lily bantered on the other side of the shop.

“I didn’t mean to upset you. I was just teasing,” Sirius commented as Remus pumped the butterscotch into the cup and added the ice and coffee.

“I know, it’s just been a rough morning,” Remus relented, handing Sirius his coffee and taking the money from him. Sirius took a sip and seemed to think it through for a moment.

“I like this. Do you have any plans after work?” Sirius asked and Remus shook his head. “Good because my painting got delivered which means yours likely did too. I was thinking we could hang them both in your flat.”

“Is this because I have no art in my flat?” Remus raised a brow, handing back the change, all of which went immediately into the tip jar.

“Absolutely…” Sirius made it sound like he was going to protest but then cut himself off before taking another long drink of his coffee. “So, I’ll catch you in the same parking lot?” Sirius asked sweetly.

“I suppose,” Remus answered with an eye roll. This just made Sirius' smug grin a little bit bigger.

“Can I kiss you?” Sirius asked and this made Remus melt a little. It was sweet of Sirius to ask instead of simply doing it. Remus glanced around even though he knew the café was empty. He was about to nod when he remembered consent was verbal.

“I would like that,” Remus responded and leaned over the counter. Sirius set down his coffee. His fingers were a bit cold where they slid along his cheek. Warm lips followed and caused Remus to shiver a little. It was a good shiver. He could taste a hint of smokiness that told him Sirius had just smoked. It mixed rather pleasantly with the dark richness of coffee and the sweetness of butterscotch.

Remus pulled back long before he wanted to. He had to be aware he was at work. “I have to head back to the gallery. I’ll see you at four, pretty boy,” Sirius picked up his drink. “See you later James, Lily, always a pleasure.”

Remus settled back behind the counter and picked up his book as Lily and James talked and laughed on the other side of the café. Remus glanced up to watch them. The sunlight poured through the window lighting up Lily. James looked totally gaga. She was talking and gesturing with her hands. Remus realized despite the barbs traded she and James actually did spend time getting to know each other. Whether or not it would lead to a romantic relationship remained to be seen. Lily smiled at something that James said.

--

Remus made his way to the parking lot looking out for the motorbike and the obnoxiously sexy man picking him up. He frowned when he didn’t see either. He scanned the parking lot a little closer. Nothing. Maybe Sirius was running late. Remus checked his watch and was about to pull out his phone when a shiny black car pulled up in front of him. Of course Sirius had the car today. He climbed into the low-slung vehicle and buttery leather seats greeted him. The whole thing looked insanely expensive. Remus was worried about scuffing anything.

“Carrying paintings on the bike is difficult,” Sirius greeted when Remus turned to him. Remus glanced at the backseat when Sirius pointed. There in the back was the painting he had made with Remus. He leaned over and brushed his lips over Remus’ cheek. “How was the rest of work?”

“It was… ok,” Remus concluded with a shrug, tucking his bag between his feet. “Some stupid guy spilled water on Lily. We couldn’t prove it was on purpose but based on his look of disappointment when she came back out in a new dry, not see-through shirt…” Remus let the statement trail off. Sirius made a noise in the back of his throat.

“I will never understand people who want something they are not freely offered. In fact right after James started flirting with Lily I told him not to pursue her if she wasn’t interested. Not sure how their flirt works but neither seems to mind it,” Sirius informed him pulling out of the parking lot. “I made an appointment for Thursday at the clinic but they called with an open slot this afternoon. I hope you don’t mind.”

“What clinic do you go to that is still open past four on a Saturday?” Remus asked adjusting the seat belt so it didn’t try to decapitate him.

“An expensive private one,” Sirius informed him and Remus conceded a point. Sirius took the turns easily navigating to a swanky doctor’s office. He checked them in with the receptionist. Remus felt out of place in his old jumper. Sirius handed him a clipboard. “Before you fuss I will be paying.”

Remus wanted to argue, they could get this done for free in so many other places, but he kept to himself. He simply filled out the paperwork Sirius had handed him and let him take it back up to the counter. Not even ten minutes later a nurse in scrubs that were blue and patterned with butterflies called them back. “Just a full panel STI screen?” she asked when Sirius and Remus settled into the chairs in the exam room.

Remus nodded and she smiled sweetly. “It’s nice to see young people take this so seriously.” She washed her hands and snapped on a pair of gloves before pulling out a few things. “Most of the panel is done with a cheek swab,” she offered Remus the swab and one for Sirius. They were dunked into separate tubes of liquid and labeled with initials.

“The HIV test requires a bit more than just saliva, I’m afraid. May I have your hand, love?” The nurse asked sweetly. Remus surrendered his hand to her. Wiping an alcohol swab over the tip of his middle finger, she carefully pressed a small box to it. As someone who had chronic health problems, he knew a lancelet when he saw it. He barely winced when the needle pierced his skin. She immediately reached back and placed the used box in the sharps container.

A moment later a small test that looked like a pregnancy test or an at-home COVID test was on the counter. Sirius was given the same treatment and the nurse cleaned up. “Are either of you at risk?”

Remus shook his head. He hadn’t been with anyone since his last set of tests.

“Moderate. I use condoms but a hookup is a hookup,” Sirius didn’t sound embarrassed or anything. Just like this was a fact of life. She made a note on her papers and checked the tests.

“Well, you are both negative so yay for that. The rest of the results should be emailed to you in twenty-four hours. It is close to closing now so you might have to wait until Monday,” she made sure to inform them as she tossed the used tests in the biohazard disposal.

Remus tried not to fidget as Sirius paid for the visit. “Well, that’s a relief. I don’t really worry about it but sometimes when the test is going on I get a bit nervous,” Sirius babbled nervously. Remus knew what he meant.

“I got a bit nervous too. Of course, for me, that diagnosis would be as bad as it was twenty or even thirty years ago. I already have a compromised immune system. I don’t think I could handle HIV on top of that,” Remus answered. He and Lily had been religious about testing every six months when they were actually hooking up but since both had dedicated most waking hours to work it had been a while.

They made their way back to the car. They grabbed lunch on the way and reached Remus’ apartment. The canvas was wrapped in brown paper and leaned against the wall next to his door. He unlocked the door and picked up the canvas. Sirius followed him in with the other canvas. The painting was as nice as Remus remembered. He was still surprised he had managed to paint it.

“Could put it right here,” Sirius gestured to the blank white wall just aside from his bed.

“This is where the crazy man suggests I punch holes in the walls I am renting,” Remus muttered to himself. Sirius frowned at him.

“I have artist putty that will hold just as well as a nail,” he argued, pulling a small box out of his bag. Remus gestured for him to get on with it. Sirius pulled over his kitchen chair and carefully applied a small piece of putty to each corner of the canvas. The canvas stayed in place and Sirius looked pleased. Remus admired his lean form as Sirius spent twenty minutes making sure they were perfectly lined up. “There, how is that?”

“Well I can see no problems but that might have less to do with the art and more to do with the artist,” Remus answered leaning back on his bed. Sirius glanced over at him and then reached back. He placed a hand on each cheek of his ass and looked scandalized.

“Remus,” he scolded but they exchanged sweet smiles. He kicked off his shoes and made his way over to the bed. He straddled Remus and gripped his wrists when Remus placed his hands on his hips. “Naughty boy,” Sirius breathed and leaned down. His lips brushed over Remus’ neck, strong deft fingers holding him easily in place.

Not that Remus was complaining, anything that started with Sirius kissing and sitting on him was a good thing. He relaxed as Sirius peppered kisses over his jaw and neck. “Hi,” Sirius murmured, leaning down so his warm breath washed over Remus’ face.

“Hi,” Remus responded. Their lips met in a warm, damp, and lovely kiss. Sirius let up on his wrists and Remus wound his arms around Sirius' thin shoulders pulling him chest to chest. Sirius relaxed in his hold as they kissed.

The kiss stayed damp and lovely as Sirius nibbled on Remus’ bottom lip. Remus was enjoying the warm weight of Sirius on top of him. A small roll of hips from the other man had him gasping. It felt amazing. He gave a muffled groan against Sirius' lips. His hands slipped under Sirius' shirt and he slid his hand up the man’s smooth back tracing over his spine. Sirius sat up briefly to strip his own shirt. He urged Remus’ shirt off as well.

However, trousers did not take the same route. Sirius returned to kissing Remus and slowly rolled his hips against Remus’ rapidly growing erection. It was delicious and felt amazing. The spicy-sweet scent of Sirius overwhelmed his senses. He slid his hands along Sirius' chest tweaking pierced nipples.

Sirius' groan was gratifying. It made Remus throb in his confinement. The air was growing heavy between them and Remus shifted his hips to rock with Sirius. They moved together, the springs of the small bed squeaking beneath them. Every movement and kiss drove Remus closer to the edge. Was this what Sirius had meant about keeping Remus well-sated? He didn’t usually get so wound up so easily.

It was impossible to misunderstand the reason as to why, while Sirius rolled his cute little bottom against Remus while ravishing his mouth. He shuddered as pleasure curled through his abdomen and caused his toes to curl. “Gonna ask me, lovely?” Sirius asked, breaking the kiss and trailing damp kisses down Remus’ cheek to his ear.

Remus gripped Sirius tighter, his blunt nails digging into the plushness of Sirius’ skin. He could feel Sirius' hands tangle in his hair tugging slightly when they encountered knots. The slight tug had him panting heavily. “Siri… f*ck wanna cum… can I cum… please?” Remus felt his cheeks heat at how utterly filthy the words sounded coming from his mouth but the pleased little hum Sirius gave as he sucked on Remus’ earlobe made the whole thing worth it.

“Of course you can,” Sirius' voice was smooth as silk. Remus gave in with a helpless sort of sound as the coil in his stomach snapped and he painted the inside of his boxers. Sirius shuddered in time with him and Remus realized he had cum from the noise alone when Sirius fell still, his chest heaving. “You could drive any man to absolute distraction.” Sirius rolled off Remus and he had the briefest fear he would be left alone but Sirius managed to situate himself on the small bed so neither was hanging off.

It meant he was half lying on Remus but Remus would never complain. “Is that a bad thing?” Remus asked and Sirius sat up propping his elbow on Remus’ sternum. It should have been uncomfortable. It wasn’t.

“Not necessarily. I like finding the buttons you have,” Sirius admitted, tracing a swirl of chest hair and running his fingers down. Remus knew when Sirius had found his tattoo. Fingers traced over the name.

“Sister?” Sirius asked softly and Remus swallowed before shaking his head. Sirius was the first person in a long time not to just know. Most of Remus’ friends knew, having been there when the events occurred, like Lily or being informed shortly afterward. “Ex-wife?” Sirius asked in a playful tone. Remus caught his hand.

“My mam,” Remus answered and watched the teasing slide off those handsome features like an egg off a greased pan. Grey eyes flickered back to the ink and Remus could see the mental math happening.

“I’m…” Sirius started but Remus cut him off with a quick head shake.

“Honestly, the worst words in any language, when you lose a parent, is ‘I’m sorry’ followed closely by ‘Are you ok’? No, I wasn’t ok when it happened and it still sucks most days but I keep going because I know she would want me to. You didn’t know and as much as I appreciate the sentiment, if no one else ever says I’m sorry again I might be able to forget how much I hate that phrase,” Remus informed him. For weeks all the relatives had said they were sorry or asked after him. Now the common phrase he heard if he had to bring it up was sorry. He hated that phrase. It would never be enough to cover the yawning chasm left by a wonderful mother. Hope had been so much more than a sorry.

Sirius had his head tipped to the side a bit like a dog as he examined Remus’ face. Remus wasn’t sure what he was looking for. “I wish I could take away the pain you feel concerning this loss. I can tell she was really important to you, do you want to tell me about her?” Sirius asked and Remus felt something inside warm up. Sirius had steered clear of the clichés while still giving space for Remus’ grief.

“Maybe someday but not right now,” Remus didn’t want to rebuff Sirius when he had made such an effort but telling Sirius about Hope was not something he could do right now. The reason his tattoo was so hidden was not because he was ashamed of his mam. It was because he didn’t want to share her. Very few people had ever gotten this close to him.

They stayed settled on the bed for a long time. Not really talking but mostly enjoying the day together. “We should probably get cleaned up,” Sirius finally got up, not seeming to care that he wasn’t wearing a shirt. He stepped into the bathroom and Remus stayed where he was waiting for Sirius to be done.

He changed out of his soiled boxers when he was left to the bathroom. “I should probably head out soon. I have an impatient alien who is going to want to be fed soon…” Sirius hesitated. “Wanna come with? I can give you a ride in the morning,” Sirius suggested. Remus knew he should say no but didn’t really want to.

“Let me pack a bag,” Remus agreed easily enough. Sirius gave him a lovely smile that made Remus feel like he had a bunch of butterflies in his stomach while simultaneously melting like butter. He packed a clean uniform and they made their way down to the car.

“Oh by the way I liked how you asked this time,” Sirius informed him as they buckled in. Remus flushed again but gave Sirius a small smile. He got a gentle hand squeeze in return.

*~*

Chapter 12: Hard Limits

Chapter Text

Remus knew he shouldn’t be surprised when Sirius showed up with the bike on Sunday. He pursed his lips as Sirius offered him the helmet. “Oh come on. You had to know the car was only for the art,” Sirius informed him, sliding the helmet onto his head.

“I was hoping you didn’t want to drive me to an early grave,” Remus retorted. He climbed on the bike behind Sirius. The drive to his apartment was familiar as well as the drive to Sirius' apartment. Bastet greeted Remus as though he was an old friend.

“I was thinking of ordering in tonight,” Sirius commented, flipping through the various restaurants on offer on his phone. Remus came over and looked over his shoulder. “Any preference?” Remus shrugged and Sirius gave him a fond look. “So helpful.”

“You want to be in charge, be in charge,” Remus agreed casually and made his way to the blue couch. Sirius came over to the couch and sat down.

“Thai food,” Sirius gave Remus the phone. He tried and failed to not feel weird about once again letting Sirius pay for dinner. Soon enough though the order was placed. Remus chewed on his lower lip.

“So, I did a bit of research,” Remus informed Sirius and got a curious head tilt. “About the whole control thing,” he elaborated. Sirius sat up a little bit more.

“Oh?” Sirius seemed intrigued so Remus tapped down his own insecurities. They were adults talking about consensual things.

“I was thinking we could start with hard limits,” Remus kept his eyes down on his fingers. Sirius tipped his head up so their eyes could meet.

“It’s a good place to start,” Sirius agreed. “Let’s sit at the table.” They moved to the cluttered dining table. Sirius spent several long moments hunting up a pen and some paper. Remus was always amazed that someone as disorganized as Sirius managed to keep up an art gallery and basic survival.

Eventually, an old, battered notebook and a cheap ballpoint pen were placed on the table and Sirius sat down next to him. Remus’ stomach felt like it was filled with butterflies. “Do you know what your limits might be or would you like me to start?” Sirius asked, opening the notebook and turning to a blank page. There was a splash of pink in one corner.

“Can you start?” Remus had stumbled on some things that had made him uncomfortable but he wasn’t sure if they were hard limits or just things he hadn’t tried before. Sirius nodded and picked up the pen. It was dead, of course it was dead. Sirius went over to his spare pen drawer and tossed the dead pen back in before picking up another. Remus watched as he tested that one on his skin. When no ink came out he tossed it back as well. “I can’t help but think future searches might go faster if you throw out the pens that don’t work,” Remus commented after the third dead pen.

Sirius shot him a look over his shoulder and went back to his search. Food was brought up by the front desk when it arrived just as Sirius found a pen that worked. He passed a tip to the employee and settled at the table. He passed Remus the fried rice he had ordered. “Are you a packrat?” Remus asked curiously and Sirius shrugged.

“Not so much, I just forget to throw things away or like the pen drawer it’s just too much work,” Sirius commented. Remus glanced over at the kitchen.

“The bin is literally a meter away,” Remus commented and Sirius shrugged.

“That’s a meter too far,” Sirius responded, offering Remus chopsticks. Remus let it drop between them. Conversation stayed light over the food but the notebook sat there with its paint-stained pages mocking them. Remus cleaned up dinner making it a point to get all empty containers in the bin.

He sat back down at the table where Sirius was scribbling something on the paper. He picked at his cuticles as he waited. Sirius placed a hand over his without looking up to stop the anxious activity. It was too late Remus could already feel the slight sting of pulling the skin too far. Sirius finished and moved the notebook in front of Remus.

“I don’t have many hard limits. Just a few that I feel are reasonable. First and in my opinion the most important, I won’t play with anyone incapable of consent; children, animals, the mentally handicapped, or anyone under the influence of drugs and alcohol when previous consent hasn’t been given.” Remus agreed, that should be the most important. He knew from experience, however, that it wasn’t.

“I like that limit,” Remus located his voice and forced it to be steady. So far so easy.

“I’m also not into consensual non-consent. If my partner says no I am taking that as a no,” Sirius continued. His hand was wrapped up with Remus’ now, a thumb rubbing soothing patterns along the back of his hand.

Again Remus nodded. He was glad for that. Having a partner who was so into consent and didn’t want to ever confuse anything like that was nice. “You and your consent,” Remus responded but there was no real complaint in his voice. Sirius grinned at him and leaned in.

Right before their lips touched he spoke, “I want to hear you screaming my name and begging for more. I want you to want to be here,” Sirius informed him and then kissed Remus. It was all he could do to not melt into a puddle on the floor. Sirius was too much, even his kissing. He kissed Remus like Remus was air and Sirius was drowning. It was overwhelming and wonderful. Remus clung to Sirius. When the dark-haired man pulled back Remus had to reassemble his brain. Sirius didn’t rush him, he ran long slender fingers through his hair messing up the tidy comb-through from earlier.

“Ok, what else?” Remus asked shifting back to sit in his chair properly. Sirius glanced down at the notebook like he had forgotten what they were talking about. Was Remus that much of a distraction to Sirius? It seemed impossible that someone as pretty as Sirius was into someone as damaged as Remus. Every time he tried to convince himself that Sirius was way out of his league, Sirius did something that made Remus rethink his assumption.

“Ah, here we are. I have some issues with certain things such as bodily fluids. No blood, urine, or scat and I am not really comfortable with salvia outside of blowj*bs, rimming, and kissing,” Sirius continued down his list. Remus had scrunched his nose at the mention of bodily fluids. He was glad they were a no-go. He’d had a hook-up a couple of years prior that had licked him like a dog. Immediate and total turn-off. He didn’t want someone’s nasty gross tongue on his skin leaving behind trails of sticky stinky salvia. “And add to the list no food play, same reason.”

Seeing that Remus had nothing to add he continued. “Nothing that leaves permanent marks. If we want piercings or tattoos we go to a shop and get it done professionally which leans right into no needle play,” Sirius' voice had a practiced sound to it now. Remus wondered how many people he had done this with before. Did he want the answer to that question? He knew Sirius would tell him if he gave it form.

“Have you done this before?” Remus managed and Sirius glanced over at him. He seemed to consider his answer for a long time.

“Yes, I have once or twice. This is just the part I know best because I want to always know my limits. If I can set safe and firm boundaries for myself then I can work on helping others learn theirs,” Sirius ran a gentle hand over Remus’ cheek. There was no deception in that face or voice. Remus allowed himself a moment to process this. He had never entertained the idea of Sirius being a virgin so this made sense. Part of him wished the answer was different. Part of him wished his own past was different. “Does that bother you?”

Remus considered his answer before giving it. “Only because I don’t like the thought of you with other people,” Remus finally responded. Sirius' grin turned a little smug.

“I don’t like the thought of you with other people either so at least we don’t have to worry about negotiating for an open relationship,” Sirius commented, his hand finding Remus’ again. Remus felt some of his worries settle. A worry he didn’t even know he had. Sirius wasn’t going to find something cute and fun on the side. He wouldn’t have to share the silver-eyed man who was steadily wriggling his way into Remus’ life. “Do you want to continue?”

Remus nodded immediately. This was a good conversation to have. It would let him know if Sirius was someone in line with him enough for him to trust. He was completely vanilla. If he agreed to this thing he would have to trust Sirius to walk him through it. Knowing that Sirius wasn’t into anything that set Remus off would be helpful.

“Nothing to do with feet. I’m willing to give foot massages or receive them but no licking, kissing, or boot blacking. I don’t have a foot fetish and honestly, it squicks me a little,” Sirius commented. Remus agreed.

“You touch my feet I am likely to kick you in the face,” Remus gave him the same disclaimer he gave most people when it came to his feet. He didn’t like people playing with his feet. He’d broken Lily’s nose in secondary school when she had tickled his feet at a sleepover. That had not been a fun time. Her parents had been convinced for a long time that Remus punched her. Right up until the time that Mr. Evans had tickled Remus' feet at the pool and he had kicked the older man right in his sternum. When Mr. Evans had been able to breathe and talk he had said it felt like when he had been kicked by a mule as a kid.

“Fair shout,” Sirius agreed and underlined the no foot play adding a note about feet not even being touched. It made Remus realize this really was a conversation. One he was encouraged to add to. Sirius may want to be in charge but he didn’t want to cause Remus any unnecessary distress. “Now while I do pain both giving and receiving I am against co*ck and Ball Torture as well as any genital pain of any sort.”

Remus felt his cheeks flush. He hadn’t expected Sirius to come out so bluntly with the pain thing. He knew it was there. Sirius had made no attempts to hide it. “I’m not sure I’m into any pain but I agree with that one.”

“Is pain a hard limit for you?” Sirius asked. His bright eyes were on Remus’ face looking for something. Remus wasn’t sure what. He bit his lip hard for a moment before swallowing.

“I don’t know… I don’t think so… I would be willing to try… As long as it’s not… Like severe,” Remus felt like he was fumbling for each word. He didn’t have the vocabulary for this. He had never needed to.

“I’m not about to tie you down and beat you black and blue. I would never do that… we would start small and slow with lots of conversation,” Sirius assured him not seeming to mind Remus’ lack of vocabulary.

Remus took a deep breath and finally gave voice to the main issue he kept running into. “You make me nervous. What if I don’t like something, especially something you like? What if you… do whatever it is that you’re going to do and I hate it? Like the pain thing, I have some medical issues that lead to pain and it might not be something I like,” Remus pointed out. It was hard to mention this but he needed Sirius to give him a solid answer on this.

Sirius seemed to pause and consider his own words. “I didn’t see you in the coffee shop and think ‘Oh he looks like a kinky bastard.’ I saw you and thought you were attractive and then witty on top of that. If it turns out you don’t like any of this I am sure we have enough in common to have phenomenal sex. I like to be in control, it doesn’t mean I can’t get off if I’m not. If you don’t like something I want you to tell me. My likes are not more important than my partner enjoying themselves. Just like I want you to respect things I don’t like, I will respect the things you don’t like. Especially since I know that you’re offering me nearly blind faith.”

The voice was warm and made Remus want to fall into whatever it was offering. This was why it was so easy to give in to Sirius. He made everything sound so lovely. Remus wondered how far he could get into this before he was giving up his own self. He had already given in on the money front. It was weird to have money in his bank account and have all his bills paid. The rest was just sitting there. What on earth was he supposed to do with it? Maybe he would open a savings account.

Remus pulled his brain back around to the conversation they were currently having. “I can do that,” Remus agreed and got another smile. Those smiles made the butterflies in his stomach go crazy.

“I’m not into anything dangerous or fear-inducing so no guns or knives. And aside from tobacco and caffeine no drugs. We will also not play if either of us has had any alcohol, that is how people get hurt,” Sirius seemed to reach the end of his list. It was comprehensive and Remus agreed with it.

Remus took the pen offered and added only a small bit at the end. “No medical things. I have spent enough time at the doctor’s, nothing about any of that is appealing,” Remus had clicked through a few of the videos that came up with his research. The one with the doctor and nurses had immediately been tossed in the no pile. “And I am claustrophobic so no small spaces. My own flat sometimes is too small.”

“Is this something that will be triggered if you are unable to move?” Sirius asked and Remus considered this for a moment.

“Probably not. It’s not a fear of being trapped someplace, it’s just small places that freak me out,” Remus answered. He knew many people who had claustrophobia, it was related to being trapped. His was just that small spaces made him feel out of place and awkward like everyone was watching and judging him.

Sirius nodded, “When we try something new that might bring something up I’ll make sure to check in frequently,” Sirius responded and plucked the pen out of Remus’ hand. “I forgot one thing. I do not do scenes in public and I will not share you.” These were added in his neat handwriting underneath the bit Remus added. The possessive tone had the butterflies going crazy.

“I agree with those wholeheartedly,” Remus responded. Sirius' fingers tightened briefly around his. “Are there any words you don’t want me to use in reference to or around you?” Sirius asked. Remus considered how to phrase what his issue was.

“I don’t like when people talk about… my scars… And one of my exes used to call me ‘Beast’ and a monster. I could never really explain to him that I hated it,” Remus admitted. That ex had been into Beauty and Beast so had considered it a compliment. It had caused Remus to die inside a little each time. He had not asked for his scars and didn’t think it was fair for someone to use his trauma in such a way.

Sirius' thumb followed the ridge of a scar along the back of his hand and Remus knew Sirius was curious. He waited but there was no follow-up. Sirius just added to the list: No mentioning of scars, don’t call Remus a monster or any variation. “Don’t understand why anyone would call you that anyway, you’re far too handsome to be a beast.” Something warm unfurled behind his heart at those words mostly because he could see from the shy peak that Sirius meant them.

“I don’t like being told I am a disappointment or bad, stupid is also a word we should just avoid,” Sirius confessed and added all of this. Remus wanted to ask but Sirius had left his scars alone so he was going to leave this alone. They all had their issues and honestly talking about them now meant not stumbling upon them in a situation where hormones might make them gloss over the issue. It seemed vocabulary had been exhausted.

“You mentioned medical issues,” Sirius let the sentence hang and Remus nodded.

“Nothing serious. I have asthma so if I start wheezing I need my inhaler,” Remus touched the front pocket of his bag. Most days he didn’t need it. He’d used it once last week when air quality combined with his illness had caused his lungs to seize. “I have an autoimmune disorder. I can’t take care of you when I’m sick and illness is likely to knock me on my ass for a bit. I have some arthritis in my shoulders.”

“You have ICE set up,” Sirius asked and Remus nodded as well as shook back his shirt sleeve.

“And I wear a medical alert bracelet,” Remus responded.

“Good boy,” Sirius quipped. That betraying heat flooded his cheeks again as Sirius copied down what had been covered so far. The page was quickly filling with notes. “Aside from my peanut allergy, I don’t have any other medical issues. I have a few mental triggers but they’ve been deemed off-limits. If I ever safe word on you it just means hands off. I got too deep in my head and need some time. You don’t have to leave or avoid me, in fact, I would prefer it if you stuck around.”

Remus hadn’t considered that. He hadn’t thought about the safe words being for both of them. He had understood why he was offered them. He was glad Sirius had given him clear instructions. “You know how to use an EpiPen?” Sirius asked and Remus nodded. He had learned when Lily had found she was allergic to bees. “I keep one in the kitchen with all my dead pens and one in my bag. Are you willing to use one if I need it?”

The question caught Remus off guard. “Are there people who say no to that?” Remus asked and Sirius shrugged.

“We agreed to no needle play and immediately I ask you to stab me with an EpiPen. Kind of mixed signals,” Sirius pointed out. Remus disagreed.

“There’s a difference between a sexual fetish that neither of us wants to explore and a medical necessity. If you come into contact with a peanut and stop breathing I will use the EpiPen to buy time for the ambulance to get there,” Remus answered.

“Thank you,” Sirius responded. Remus wondered what sort of monsters had Sirius known before. He examined the paper for a long moment. “Do you have any questions about this or anything you found in your research?” Sirius asked, tapping the page with his pen.

“More questions than can be answered but if it’s all the same I want to see if I can figure out the answers myself. If they come from me I am more likely to internalize the information,” Remus responded.

“I will give you a few resources I used when I was looking into all of this for the first time,” Sirius suggested and Remus agreed. He could always use more sources and information. He would take Sirius' suggestions gratefully.

Sirius turned to a new page, this one didn’t have paint stains but did have a bad sketch of what looked like the Monopoly man in one corner. Sirius seemed to ignore this as he copied down some resources and search terms for him. Remus tucked the paper into his bag. “And I would like to see a contract if you would revise it to be relevant. I’m curious about whether or not I can offer you what you want.”

“I will work on making it more relevant and we can go over it sometime,” Sirius responded. Remus gave him a grateful smile. Even with the new ground covered, this was still Sirius. The sweet man who planned amazing dates and was likely to forget that he left paint water in the freezer. It was an odd dynamic but he was glad Sirius was the same as always.

*~*

Chapter 13: Trixie

Chapter Text

Monday was long and honestly, Remus hated the days he was working with anyone besides Lily. The test results had been emailed to him. Finding out he was clean was unsurprising but gratifying, nonetheless. Sirius had printed his out to show Remus when he came over that evening. All clean as well. That was comforting at any rate.

Remus glanced up when the door opened on Tuesday. The rushes hadn’t been bad and now they were just killing time waiting for the end of their shift. James walked in by himself, at least he appeared to be alone. He made it up to the counter before his companion was known. A head peeking out of the bag he was wearing.

“What is in your bag?” Lily asked at the same time Remus said, “You know it’s really dangerous to pick up the rats outside right?”

James looked offended and reached down to the small animal, covering its large, tufted ears. “Trixie is a Chinese Crested and is the most handsome gentleman in all the land,” this last part was said in baby talk to the small dog. Remus glanced over at Lily. He expected sarcasm to be written all over her face but instead, she looked thoughtful and a bit like she was fighting back a smile.

“Why is your dog named Trixie?” Remus asked as James gave the strange alien a treat.

“My little niece Tonks named him. She liked the name, Trixie. Didn’t seem to matter that the dog was a boy. She informed me that his name was Trixie and that was the end of it. I call him Trix most of the time,” James answered. “We’re going to a vet appointment and I was running a bit early so I thought I would drop by to see my favorite human.” Remus could practically hear Lily gearing up to say something rude. “Oh, and you too Lils.”

The scandalized noise she made had Remus snorting. Remus rang in a small vanilla latte and Lily looked like she was trying to come up with a decent remark as she made it. Finally, she set the cup down. “Can I hold your dog?” she asked. James glanced down at the dog in the bag.

“Sure if he lets you,” James responded. Lily shed her apron and made her way around the counter. James knelt down and opened the front of the bag for the pup to step out. Some tufts of the dog’s fur were dyed a rainbow color. Trixie immediately warmed to Lily.

Aside from the fur on the face, feet, and tail, Trixie was bald. James had dressed him against the weather in a cute shirt that had little cacti decorating it. His collar was also decorated with plants and the tag hanging off the collar was in the shape of a fern.

“Hi baby,” Lily cooed. She loved animals but currently couldn’t have a pet because her landlords were fascists, at least according to Lily. She had to settle for her plant babies for the moment.

“Why is Trixie technicolor?” Remus asked and James shrugged.

“When I got him, he reminded me of Sirius and much like Sirius he’s an attention whor*. When he’s brightly colored like this everyone wants to say hi all the time,” James shrugged watching Lily with his dog. Remus was sure her icy exterior would never recover from this. He snapped a quick picture of the endearing scene.

“He even kind of looks like Sirius,” Lily held him up next to her face. Remus frowned.

“That’s what I said,” James exclaimed. “Sirius doesn’t see it.” James and Lily sat outside talking.

CWB: I see you.

DS: How can you see me?

DS: I am pretty sure you don’t know where the gallery is

DS: And even if you did, how on earth would you get here?

DS: You’re still at work for another hour.

DS: I know I was about to leave to pick you up.

CWB: Even Lily admitted you were cute. Remus had attached the picture of Lily with the dog and snickered when he got an unamused emoji back.

DS: James has got to stop telling people the dog looks like me.

CWB: Well, technically Lily brought it up first. Before Remus had even finished typing another text came through.

DS: I was looking for a cat and he came across this little dog, f*cking rat thing.

DS: Oh look Siri you should adopt the puppy.

DS: He looks like you.

DS: Asshole.

CWB: You’re one to talk, you live with an alien. Remus felt it was wholly unfair of Sirius to judge James for his choice of companion when he had Bastet at home.

DS: Don’t diss Bas, she keeps the flat ghost free.

DS: Also I did not adopt her because she looks like my best friend.

DS: I adopted her because she was freaky looking.

CWB: And right there you just admitted the dog looked like you and that Bas is freaky looking. I feel like I am winning.

DS: You’re an insufferable jerk.

DS: Gonna make you and James stop hanging out.

DS: Course getting James to do anything is as useful as talking to a brick wall.

CWB: You could just tell me embarrassing things about James to balance out all the ways he embarrasses you.

DS: That would work if James got embarrassed.

DS: Kid has no ego or pride and rarely gets embarrassed.

DS: I hate him for it.

Remus didn’t really have a response for this. He had never really known anyone who was as affable as James. He really didn’t seem to mind Lily’s barbed comments or Sirius' somewhat abrasive personality. He just went with it all. It was an enviable quality.

CWB: We all have our talents I suppose. Like your inability to put all your thoughts in one message.

Remus watched the typing icon appear and could have banged his head on the counter. Of course Sirius was going to take the opportunity to be an asshole.

DS: If

DS: You

DS: Thinl

DS: It

DS: was

DS: *Think

DS: Bad

DS: Before

DS: Prepaid

DS: For

DS: A

DS: New

DS: *Prepare

DS: Level

DS: Of

DS: Torture.

CWB: You are so immature and passive-aggressive. How am I supposed to cope with this kind of messaging while I am at work?

DS: You

DS: Asked

DS: For

DS: It

CWB: How did I ask for it? I feel like I asked for the opposite. Less not more. Remus wasn’t sure why he was arguing it was a bit cute. He also felt like it might be more work for Sirius so he was winning on both fronts.

DS: I

DS: Don’t

DS: Have

DS: The

DS: Attention

DS: Span

DS: for

DS: Long

DS: Messages.

DS: I send

DS: Short

DS: Ones

DS: So

DS: I don’t

DS: Lose

DS: My

DS: Train of Thought

Remus grinned, he could see the one-word messages were already wearing Sirius out.

CWB: And yet you have the attention span to do it one word at a time.

DS: No

DS: I’m copying

DS: Down

DS: What I want

DS: to say.

A picture came through of a piece of paper with the last few messages written down. Remus should have guessed it was something like that.

DS: James can

DS: Tell

DS: You

DS: To

DS: Never

DS: Get

DS: Into a

DS: Pissing

DS: Match

DS: With me.

DS: I normally

DS: Win

CWB: So is the new mode of communication? One word at a time

DS: No, I’m already annoyed.

DS: Plus I don’t have the dedication to keep that up.

DS: Part of me wants to do it for as long as we’re together but I have a feeling it would make you dump me tomorrow.

CWB: You’re not wrong. Like I was thinking of giving you a blowj*b after comparing you to a dog but now…

Remus immediately silenced his phone and stuck it in his pocket. There was no need for him to ignore it other than to completely annoy Sirius. He picked up his book after seeing Lily and James were still out front. He hoped James didn’t miss Trixie’s vet appointment due to his fascination with Lily. Eventually Lily wandered back in with a cute little smile on her face.

“James and Lily sitting in a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g,” Remus sang under his breath. Lily thwapped him on the back of the head with a damp towel before disappearing into the back to do dishes.

“I am in love with the ugly technicolor gender-confused dog, not the man,” Lily called back over her shoulder.

“Whatever you have to tell yourself Lils,” Remus called back. She made a noise that Remus basically interpreted to mean f*ck right off. He grinned and turned his attention to his book. The last hour passed peacefully. Lily worked on the dishes and Remus eventually abandoned his book to finish up some cleaning tasks.

He had actually completely forgotten about his attempt to taunt Sirius when the other showed up to collect him. “You’re an asshole,” Sirius commented as Remus washed his hands and waited for his relief. He waved off Lily, knowing she had a shift at the restaurant.

“I didn’t do anything,” Remus informed him just as he remembered he had silenced his phone. Sirius glowered as Remus pulled out the device and turned the volume back on. “I was at work.” He opened his messaging app.

DS: Wait really?

DS: Oh come on.

DS: You cannot say (type0 something like tha and go dark.

DS: Why…

DS: Helo?

DS: Are you ded?

DS: Tease

DS: I am leaving now. You’re a jerk. All I can think about now is painting your cute little bum pink.

Remus flushed at the last message and met Sirius' sh*t-eating grin. He should have read that one before Sirius was around to see his reaction. He swallowed but didn’t look away from those eyes that held him entranced. “We haven’t talked about that,” Remus finally commented.

“Which is the only reason why I am not pulling you out of here to be bent over my couch and paddled. Thoughts?” Sirius asked. His tone was mild, one eyebrow went up. Remus felt like he was on fire.

Remus wasn’t sure what his thoughts on that were. Finally, he gave the only answer he could think of. “I am at work and you are highly inappropriate,” Remus informed him. Sirius' grin was smug and co*cky now.

“Perhaps but based on the state of the front of your trousers I am not the only one going to horny jail,” Sirius informed him. Remus didn’t have to look down. Sirius was a walking sex dream, of course Remus was hard. The worst part was he was hard due to the threats. Since when had he been turned on by the thought of being paddled by a partner? He knew the answer, if anyone but Sirius had said that to him he would have told them to lose his number. He was turned on by Sirius and the clear consent he wanted. Nothing happened without a conversation and that was more comforting and arousing than Remus could possibly explain.

*~*

Chapter 14: Oat Milk

Chapter Text

“Can I just quit?” Remus asked as the bell over the door rang. Lily snorted.

“I mean, you probably could. Just look, here comes the sugar daddy now. You could always ask for an increase in your allowance,” Lily commented. “Hey boys, how’d the vet appointment go?” Remus decided not to justify the sugar daddy comment.

“All is well with Trixie and now his vaccines are back up to date,” James responded, paying Remus as usual.

“Hello,” Sirius greeted cheerfully. Remus gave him a small smile and an eye roll. Today had been crazy. Now it was dead sure but just twenty minutes ago they had been working hard just to keep up with everything. They had just settled back behind the counter when James and Sirius walked in. “You look tired,” Sirius informed him.

“You say the sweetest things,” Remus commented back ringing him in for a dirty latte. “It’s just been a long day but after this, I have time off.” Sirius nodded his agreement as Lily started on his drink. “Go sit down, I'll bring your drink when it’s finished.”

Sirius trotted off happily enough. Remus made his own drink while Lily finished up Sirius'. He carried both over to the table. He settled at the table and offered the drink to Sirius. “Dirty latte,” he read off the attached label. “Flirting?”

“No, it just means the shot is added after the milk making the milk look dirty. Don’t be a pervert,” Remus sipped at his earl grey. Sirius sipped at the drink with a pensive look on his face. He seemed to enjoy it well enough.

“Is there a way to ask Lily out in a way that doesn’t get me shot down?” James asked, looking at the pretty redhead behind the counter as she hummed to herself while clicking a pen on the counter.

“I am not helping you with that. Grow a set and ask her or give up. There is no in-between,” Remus informed him. He figured if James asked her straight out Lily would give him the answer he wanted. She was not going to give in to light teasing. The dog had been a good foray. James gave a dejected sigh. The bell over the door jangled loudly. Lily waved Remus to sit back down.

It was only one person with a sallow face, hooked nose, and greasy hair. Remus tuned back into what Sirius and James had moved on to but he kept an eye on the counter. Something about this whole thing made him uneasy. He heard Lily’s chipper greeting. “Hello, how are you today?”

“I’m fine, how are you?” came the response in a smooth voice. Lily smiled brightly. She was used to being treated like an automatic coffee maker. It wasn’t often a customer talked to them like they were human.

“It’s beautiful outside, so I am having a great day. What can I get started for you?” Lily asked. The man never took his focus off Lily which Remus thought was odd. Most customers focused on the menu through the greeting.

“Tall drip, extra hot, no sugar with oat milk” he answered in the same smooth tone as before. Lily’s smile never changed but Remus could practically feel her eye roll. Extra hot was always a nightmare, the machines were specifically calibrated for a specific temperature. Oat milk was also annoying. They never had any up front so she would have to go get a carton from the back.

Lily rang up the purchase and he ran a credit card. He did not leave a tip. Lily moved to make his coffee after a quick run to the back for the beige container. She made idle chit-chat about the weather, unseasonably sunny; the current sports team winning, neither of them followed sports but she still worked at the restaurant which showed the games in the bar every night. After exhausting the small talk she just asked questions of the customer. His name, Severus; any plans for the day, none, and so on. Remus couldn’t even put his finger on it but something about him felt off. He also never took his eyes off Lily, even moving so the machine was not blocking his view of her. Remus could practically hear the machine fighting her on the temperature she wanted to make the milk.

“Here you go. Tall drip, extra hot, no sugar,” she tried to set the cup down on the counter but Severus took it from her hand, their fingers brushing longer than what could have been deemed accidental. “So, what time does your shift end?” Remus felt himself stiffen. It wasn’t the first and wouldn’t be the last time someone asked her that question.

“Pardon?” Lily asked, polite friendliness going slightly frosty even as she tried to look quizzical. She had not misheard him but she was trying to be polite. Most people took this as an indication to back off, and ask a different question, not this moron.

“As you said it’s a beautiful day, might as well spend it doing someone nice. I mean doing something nice,” the smooth tone of his voice now had an oily edge to it. Even though the words weren’t directed at him he could feel the heebies. Lily’s smile wavered. Remus could see the creep roll over her.

“No thank you,” she answered, as cheerfully as ever. “It’s against company policy to date the customers.” There was no such policy mostly because Aberforth didn’t care. Still, this was likely to lead to the least amount of problems. Remus hadn’t noticed Sirius and James going quiet and stiff next to him. Everyone was listening in now.

“What do you care? A girl like you should be happy someone was nice to you,” Severus answered. The smooth tone had dropped replaced by what Remus and Lily had dubbed the incel voice. A slight whine laced with contempt that just screamed neckbeard, fedora-wearing, basem*nt dweller.

Lily’s smile also dropped. “I think you should go. We clearly don’t have what you’re looking for,” Lily responded firmly. She kept herself back from the counter, out of easy reach.

“I was nice to you,” was all the offender said. Remus was about to stand and go to Lily’s aide, there was a reason they were scheduled in shifts of two. But before he could do anything, James was up and walking across the small space.

“Oi, slimy git,” his voice was loud and carrying. Severus whipped around as though he only just realized there were other people in the shop. “Just because your greasy face was nice, doesn’t mean she owes you anything. That is just the base of being human. If you think being nice is all it takes to get something, then you need to reevaluate your life.” James’ voice was strong and sure, easily filling the small café. He looked down his nose at the slimy creature even though they were basically the same height. Remus could suddenly see the rich man who rubbed elbows with the upper crust. This was not the marshmallow that cooed at Trixie or the simp that took all of Lily’s sarcasm.

“I don’t believe this is any of your business,” Severus dismissing James was a big mistake. Remus knew this from the way that Sirius tensed next to him. “You’re telling me this asshole is more appealing than a genuinely nice guy.”

“Genuinely nice guys don’t generally use that line and I already made it clear I wasn’t interested,” Lily informed him, still standing braced against the fridge where unless he climbed across the counter he wouldn’t be able to reach her.

“Dumb bitch probably goes for jackass rich guys,” Severus snarled. Remus stood up but didn’t make it far. A low curse and a sharp snap sounded. Severus shouted in pain. James had broken his nose. “You f*cker.” Severus stormed out holding his nose and vowing revenge.

“Ow,” James muttered, clutching his hand. Lily seemed frozen for a second before snapping out of it. She wrapped some ice in a towel and came around the counter. “I didn’t mean to step in. I just hate guys like that.”

Lily just shook her head. “No, it’s fine. Although you shouldn’t have punched him, what if he presses charges?” she asked, pressing the ice pack to the bloodied knuckles.

“Worth it if you don’t have to deal with him anymore,” James answered. Lily looked pensive. “Are you ok?” James asked. She snorted.

“I deal with dickwads like him every day. I should be asking if you’re ok,” she responded, still holding ice to the sore hand.

“I deal with dickwads like him all the time,” James mocked lightly, clearly trying to lighten the mood. Though he scoffed a moment later. “Thinking being nice is some sort of accomplishment. It should be the bare minimum. Asshole didn’t even tip.”

“Most people don’t. You and Sirius are unusual,” Lily responded. Remus sat back down, he was not needed that much was clear. He wasn’t fussed, it was honestly kind of cute.

“Five quid says they leave this interaction with a date,” Sirius whispered in his ear.

“Fine but my five quid says Lily asks not James,” Remus responded also in a whisper. Sirius grinned and wound their pinkies together.

“Well, most people are idiots. You are the caffeine bringer, the bearer of all things awake and light in the universe,” James proclaimed. Lily looked up from her examination of his hand to frown at him.

“Did you hit him with your head when I wasn’t looking or have you always been this daft?” Lily asked and James grinned.

“Ah there’s the feisty woman I know,” James reached over with his uninjured hand and tucked a stray bit of hair behind her ear. Lily continued to frown at him.

“Sod off Potter,” she responded even as her cheeks flushed. Remus knew in Lily speak that meant she didn’t want to talk about her emotions so she was going to ignore them. It rarely worked. Eventually, she seemed pleased with the state of James’ hand and moved back behind the counter.

James made his way back to where Remus and Sirius were settled. “Well even if she doesn’t see it you’ll always be my knight in shining armor, Jamie,” Sirius teased. James threw a wooden stir stick at him. The two continued on this vein for a long time.

“I have to go back up to the counter,” Remus kissed Sirius' cheek before standing.

“And I should head out and see if I can get my hand looking normal before dinner with Mum and Dad. Are you coming?” James asked and Sirius shrugged.

“Not sure. Probably not, I want to talk this one into shagging,” Sirius gestured to Remus and got a glare in response. He blew Remus a kiss. Remus knew he was teasing but put on the show anyway. James stood.

“James,” Lily’s voice sounded and she placed a small cup on the counter. James frowned and made his way over. “Call me sometime.” On the cup instead of a name was her number. She leaned forward and kissed his cheek. “Thanks for standing up for me. We should go out sometime.”

Looks like Remus won the bet.

--

“I mean how sweet is it that he goes and sees his parents on a regular basis,” Lily exclaimed. Remus was literally staring at the clock across the café counting the seconds left on his shift. There weren’t very many but Lily was making his life impossible.

“As sweet as it was five minutes ago,” Remus responded when she stopped to take a breath. Normally he was more supportive but Lily had been on about it nonstop since James had left. “Lily, Annwyl, please for the love of all that is holy can you stop? He didn’t fix world hunger or cure cancer. He’s just a dude that has an unhealthy obsession with you, a cute little rat dog, and visits his parents.”

Lily crossed her arms huffily. “He punched a dude in the face for me,” she responded.

“Is that what it takes?” Remus asked, seeing their relief step in. “Hey, Grant, can I borrow your face for a second?” Grant paused from where he was taking off his jacket and looked between the two of them.

“...um… No?” he hazarded and scampered off to the locker room. Remus started counting the register while Lily finished stocking the sugars. Grant came back out in his uniform holding his apron to his chest. “Why do you want to punch me in the face?” Grant asked, keeping himself a fair distance away from Remus.

“Because Lily is being a thirsty brat,” Remus responded, not looking up from his counting of the bills in the till.

“Hush up Rem or I will have James punch you in the face too,” Lily responded moving on to the pink packets of sweetener.

“Why is James punching Remus in the face?” Sirius asked. No one had noticed him come in.

“Lily is thirsty,” Remus answered, at the same time Lily said, “Remus is a jerk,” before closing the till.

Lily clucked her tongue, putting away the extra packets and closing the cabinet.

“I just got here I have no idea what is happening,” Grant filled in, still holding his apron and standing just slightly off to the side.

“Right, I am not getting in the middle of whatever is going on here. I just had to listen to a neurotic man rant for two hours on the phone. Mum made him finally hang up. You ready to go?” Sirius asked Remus.

“Yeah,” Remus signed his name on the till balance and handed it to Grant. “Oh make sure you throw out the 2% if you don’t use it. The label is wrong.” Grant gave a nod and Remus stepped into the back to shed the apron and grab his bag. “You make sure you tell me if James doesn’t treat you right. I can’t guarantee I’ll punch him in the face but maybe I could figure out a way to sic James on himself.”

“I can beat him up if need be,” Lily reminded him. She headed out the back toward her car. Remus stepped out the front with Sirius and waved back to Grant, who still looked confused and a little lost. Remus would have felt bad but Grant was used to him and Lily at this point.

“Did you pick up the stuff I told you to?” Remus asked as they walked back toward where the bike was parked.

“Your attempts to make me eat more at home are in vain,” Sirius informed him, taking his hand as they walked. Remus simply glanced over at him and raised an eyebrow. “I ordered the groceries per Mum’s advice. I don’t know how to work a grocery store.”

Remus made a face at him. “Didn’t your mum teach you how to shop?” Remus asked. He had noticed the distinction Sirius made between his mother and the woman who he called either Effie or Mum.

“She tried to teach me a great many things that would allow me to be self-sufficient but as an obscenely wealthy neurodivergent none of it stuck,” Sirius responded carelessly tripping on a rock.

“So after I teach you how to walk and turn your stove on without burning down your flat I have to teach you how to shop. Do you at least know how to do laundry?” Remus asked and Sirius shook his head.

“The building has laundry services. They collect the dirty and return it clean. I am ninety percent sure it is magic,” Sirius responded as they reached the parking lot and the gleaming bike. Remus stood still as Sirius slipped the bike helmet onto his head.

“You are insane. How does anyone get to adulthood without basic life skills such as how to peel a banana?” Remus demanded.

“I am very wealthy. I could hire someone to peel bananas for me. The only reason I know how to spell banana is because of Gwen Stefani,” Sirius retorted, tugging on his own helmet.

“You’re impossible,” Remus informed him, climbing onto the bike behind Sirius and wrapping arms around him.

“Yes but I’m also hot,” Sirius informed him.

“And I see oh so modest,” Remus supplied. Sirius turned the bike on.

“Modesty doesn’t suit me. I found that out ages ago. Oh, I do know how to peel a banana, you use a knife,” Sirius informed him, sounding proud of himself. Before Remus could disabuse him of this notion the bike was moving.

The ride to the apartment still had Remus slightly nervous. He much preferred cars or buses, with walls or doors or at least windows between himself and the very hard ground. “So, what are you making?” Sirius asked, settling at the counter and looking at Remus expectantly.

“We,” Remus informed him, putting emphasis on the word and gesturing for Sirius to go wash his hands, “Are making Shakshuka,” he responded, rinsing off the vegetables he had asked for.

“Gesundheit,” Sirius replied and Remus shot him an unamused look.

“It’s Egyptian like your cat’s name,” Remus told him, waving a wooden spoon at the creature sitting nonchalantly on the counter watching them. He picked up a knife and offered it to Sirius. “Do you know how to dice an onion?”

“Absolutely not. I don’t even know how to remove the weird onion paper, I just know you’re not supposed to eat it like an apple,” Sirius informed him while holding up the onion. Remus briefly considered just serving Sirius for dinner (and not in the fun way.)

“You are insufferable,” Remus snatched the onion up and placed it on the cutting board. “Is that how you classify your fruits and vegetables based on their relatability to an apple?” Remus quickly removed the skin and the roots.

“No. I rate them like most people rate high school gym class. Skins or not,” Sirius informed him. Remus glanced over at him, brow furrowed. “There are certain things you can eat with the skin, apples, tomatoes, potatoes, and so on. Then there are things that you cannot eat with the skin; oranges, bananas, onions, eggs, and potatoes,” Sirius continued gesticulating with his hands.

Remus stared at him for a solid minute. “You are aware eggs are not a vegetable or fruit right?” Remus confirmed.

“Maybe not but they go in most salads so I class them as something I can’t eat with the skin,” Sirius informed him. Remus considered protesting again but he couldn’t figure out if this was really smart or really dumb.

“And why are potatoes on both sides?” he asked, wondering if he wanted to know the answer.

“Oh, so some things you don’t eat the skin, baked potatoes, Maccas’ chips, Lay’s crisps right? Other times you do eat the skin, natural cut chips, natural cut crisps, potato skins, and potato wedges. So they are on both sides of the list,” Sirius seemed pleased with his categories.

Remus dumped the diced onion in a bowl and picked up the red bell pepper. “Ok, so what about things like lemons and limes?” He was curious about this system of Sirius'.

“Well, we don’t eat those wholesale so they are not classified in that system. I group them with juices. Those are do not drink without water and sugar added,” Sirius looked proud of this classification.

“You left out a whole bunch of fruit and vegetables like cucumbers, carrots, sugar peas, pears, and peaches,” Remus informed him.

“We can go over my whole ranking system but I can guarantee you that your eyes will glaze over. Even James can’t sit through the whole thing without falling asleep,” Sirius shrugged. Remus sighed and turned back to the bell pepper.

*~*

Chapter 15: Puddle

Chapter Text

Remus was adding the eggs very carefully. He was fully aware he had cooked most of the meal but Sirius had completely sidetracked him with the list thing. “So I was thinking,” Sirius started when Remus had placed the lid on the pot.

“Always dangerous,” Remus commented. Sirius shushed him as Remus placed the remaining eggs in the pantry.

“Our bet earlier was lame. I already give you way more than five pounds,” Sirius continued. Remus raised a brow but said nothing. “I was thinking instead of that I could just give you a blowj*b.” Remus dropped the spoon he was holding. He glanced over at Sirius who looked smug.

“The five quid was a joke. We will only bet on Lily’s love life when I have an actual death wish,” Remus informed him, collecting the spoon and tossing it in the sink. He grabbed a clean one and checked the doneness of the eggs.

“I’m not joking, come on, drop your shorts,” Sirius clapped his hands together.

Remus felt his brain stutter. “We are not messing around in the kitchen. All clothes stay on and your body parts stay over there and mine over here,” Remus held the wooden spoon out like it would be a reasonable defense. Sirius' smile simply widened.

“Is that a no?” Sirius asked calmly, petting Bastet, who chirped at him impatiently. Remus briefly wondered about the hygiene of the cat on the counters.

“Who, with a functioning brain and hormones would say no to that?” Remus demanded. Sirius got up and came over. His hands came to rest on Remus’ hips.

“I know you’re all sore and stiff. I’ll give you a massage and blowie and we can eat cold pizza in the morning,” Sirius suggested. Remus made a split-second decision. He grabbed the spray nozzle off the sink, turned on the water, and turned the spray on Sirius. “Down you naughty dog. No dogs in the kitchen while I’m cooking.”

Sirius sputtered and scurried out of range of the water. Bastet simply stared at him. “Should spray you too for being on the counter but you might like it since everything is weird at this flat.”

“Don’t spray the cat, yes she likes water, but she lives here, so be nice,” Sirius came back in rubbing his face and hair with a towel. Remus set the sprayer back down and turned off the heat under the food. He handed Sirius a plate and served up his own.

“I am pretty sure we could have ordered this,” Sirius pointed out.

“Perhaps but it would have taken longer, cost more, been more unhealthy, and not been homemade. Hush up and eat it Sirius,” Remus scolded, cutting into the egg to let the yolk mix with everything.

Sirius seemed unconvinced but followed Remus’ lead and took a bite. Remus watched him smugly. “Ok it’s rather good,” Sirius responded.

“Next time I’ll teach you how to make it yourself,” Remus informed him, digging into his own portion. He rolled his shoulder. An old injury was flaring up from the rough day. He wondered if he had packed any of his tablets in his bag.

“What’s wrong with your shoulder?” Sirius asked and Remus shrugged his uninjured shoulder.

“Same thing that’s wrong with the rest of me. Just wearing out,” Remus answered. Sirius abandoned his food and got up. Remus was not totally surprised by strong deft fingers gripping his shoulders and digging into the knots he used to keep himself upright. He could practically feel Sirius' scowl as he traced down his back. It was all tension and knots.

“Do you know what a massage is?” Sirius asked, his voice betraying how deeply he was frowning.

“Do you know what an eighty-hour work week is?” Remus sniped back. Sirius retaliated by digging into one of the knots. It hurt and then released and that hurt almost as bad until the muscle untensed. “Asshole,” he grumbled.

“Go upstairs, get naked, and lay on the bed,” Sirius commanded with the complete confidence that Remus would do just that.

“Excuse you, sir, I am still eating,” Remus argued. Sirius' fingers slid into his hair and lightly tugged until Remus was looking up at his infuriatingly handsome face.

“And your back makes me hurt just thinking about it. We can have food later, I am straightening out your spine now,” Sirius informed him and kissed the tip of his nose. Remus thought about arguing but honestly just didn’t have the energy. He abandoned his plate and made his way upstairs shedding clothes as he went. He could hear Sirius in the kitchen hopefully putting things away. He lay down on the bed not really caring that his naked ass was pointed at the ceiling.

“I half expected to see you have pulled the sheet over your lower body,” Sirius informed him. Remus gave a low grunt of not caring. “Such a grumpy boy.” Before Remus could think of anything else Sirius was sitting over his legs. Remus could feel the bare skin of Sirius' legs and the soft cotton of his briefs. The idea of Sirius sitting on him in just his underwear was a sexy one.

A cool liquid ran over his heated skin as Sirius drizzled something over his back. It smelled nice, kind of like vanilla and musk. “I don’t understand how you can function with your back tied up like this,” Sirius groused, running his thumbs along Remus’ spine starting to smooth out the tension and knots.

“The tension and knots keep me upright. You’re going to turn me into a puddle,” Remus accused. It felt nice to have it start to ease but it also hurt as the muscles tensed before realizing it was a good thing. He gave a low groan.

“Puddles can’t run away so it sounds good to me,” Sirius teased, working his fingers into the sore spots and soothing the pain. Remus was pretty sure this was better than sex. He slowly turned to mush under those talented fingers.

Despite what he had said Remus had been to several massage parlors over the years. He usually never booked a second appointment. They didn’t know how to handle someone scarred and with sensitive joints so it was always unpleasant. Sirius never caused him actual discomfort. He was sure he could fall asleep like this.

He might have fallen asleep as every single bit of tension was worked out of his back but then those warm elegant hands were on his bottom massaging the cheeks. Remus was sure he nearly jumped out of his skin. “You have an excellent ass,” Sirius admired. Remus’ face flamed. A finger ran down the cleft and Remus’ felt his hole clench slightly when it brushed over it.

He wasn’t tense per se, he didn’t have enough tension left in his body to generate the necessary muscle response to be tense but he was a bit less relaxed. The hands parted his cheeks and Sirius hummed. Remus wasn’t sure how to respond to this whole thing. Turned out his brain was not needed. A moment later the absolutely amazing and filthy texture of a tongue traced up the crease.

Remus felt his brain stutter trying to catch up. “You… you shouldn’t,” he protested, his voice not sounding at all like he believed his own words. To both his disappointment and relief, Sirius' tongue was removed.

“And why not? You taste divine,” Sirius assured him. Remus warmed again but swallowed and tried to order his thoughts.

“It’s… it’s not clean or groomed,” Remus answered. Sirius kissed the dimple above his ass and ran his tongue along the crease.

“It’s clean and fine. Unless you want me to stop for you I would like to continue,” Sirius informed him. Remus had no will to fight someone like Sirius. He surrendered to the beautiful man wanting to eat him out. Remus settled into the sensations.

He’d had one or two partners do this over the years but none as well or as leisurely as Sirius. He seemed content to just take his time. Much like with the massage. Hands gripped his cheeks, fingers tracing over the scars while the tongue swiped over him again and again. Occasionally it would stop to trace over the puckered ring of muscles. Sirius seemed to be trying to learn every inch of him piece by piece. Every pass of his tongue had Remus’ co*ck throbbing where it was trapped against the bed.

He rolled his hips to get some friction. “Feel good, baby?” Sirius asked softly. Remus nodded into the pillow. “Good,” Sirius' voice was sweet like honey. Remus wanted to drink in his attention and affection for the rest of eternity. The tongue returned, pressing a little firmly to actually penetrate the ring of muscles. Hands gripped his hips to stop him from rolling against the sheets. That tongue pressing into him was amazing.

When he was sure he was about to lose his mind Sirius' mouth disappeared and his hands moved. “Roll over,” Sirius' voice was still soft. Remus didn’t even think. He was rolling over before he had even processed the fact that Sirius had told him to. “You follow orders so nicely.”

“f*ck you,” Remus responded and Sirius gave him a devious grin.

“Name the time and place pretty boy,” Sirius responded. He ran slick hands over Remus’ chest. The heavy smell of vanilla and musk filled the air again. Sirius didn’t massage his chest so much as run his hands over it. He gripped Remus’ pecs. “f*ck your chest is so f*cking hot,” Sirius muttered.

Remus wasn’t sure how to respond to that. Sirius' fingers drug over his nipples and continued down. “Is this the body that eighty hours gets you? Because you are a fit motherf*cker.”

“Except I don’t f*ck mothers,” Remus corrected. Sirius took his co*ck in hand and shot him a glare.

“Oh are we in the realm of dad jokes because I have many and they are all terrible,” Sirius informed him, giving a light stroke.

“You really expect me to be able to hold any sort of conversation while you are holding my dick?” Remus grumbled. Sirius' smile became even more sh*t-eating and co*cky.

“I absolutely do. I want to see that big brain of yours try and talk circles around me now,” Sirius informed him, continuing to stroke him just lightly enough for him to feel but too light to get any relief.

“You’re an unbelievable asshole,” Remus informed him, not having the intelligence to offer anything else as a response.

“I have an unbelievable asshole. It can hold up to ten inches of hard sausage,” Sirius announced proudly. Remus picked his head up off the pillow to look at Sirius.

“Do I want to know?” he asked and Sirius shook his head, still looking remarkably proud of himself.

“Those sausages they sell in the deli, whole, make a wonderful makeshift dild*. Especially if you live with your parents and forget your dild*s when you ran from home,” Sirius responded. Remus felt his eyebrows pull together.

“Remind me not to leave you alone with a sausage,” Remus muttered and Sirius winked. A moment later Remus would have to be reminded how to speak. His co*ck was engulfed in a warm wet cavern with a lovely amount of suction. Sirius’s mouth felt fantastic on him. Remus had to remind himself not to thrust up or pull on that silky hair.

When his hips did thrust up Sirius simply placed an arm over his waist to hold him in place. Remus wasn’t sure if he was annoyed or grateful. He was halfway toward an org*sm when his brain decided to remind him of the rule he had agreed to. Sirius couldn’t answer him right now. Oh, this was going to suck. Sirius seemed to notice his sudden stillness. He pulled off and looked up at that face. “You alright?” Sirius' voice was concerned.

“How are you supposed to give me permission when you are sucking on me?” Remus asked, feeling embarrassment trying to creep in. He pushed it away. They were adults with a sexual relationship. Sirius seemed to consider the whole thing for a moment.

“Well I just assumed I would remove my mouth and permit you but if you’re concerned about that breaking the moment we could operate on taps. One tap means yes, two taps means no,” Sirius suggested lightly tapping Remus’ thigh.

Remus considered it for a long moment before nodding. Sirius made sure Remus relaxed properly before sucking him down again. Now that they had a firm communication set up Remus allowed the sensations to pick him up and carry him off again. Sirius' mouth was amazing. The things that man could do with his tongue had Remus trying to thrust more often than he cared to admit.

Sirius never faltered. His arm stayed across Remus’ hips holding him in place. The hand not occupied with holding him down trailed over his leg to his balls and rolled them gently as the suction continued. Sirius didn’t even seem to struggle when taking Remus all the way to the base.

There it was, the edge of his sanity. He fisted the slick smooth duvet under him. “Oh f*ck Siri. Right there, can I cum? Please wanna cum for you?” Remus tossed his head back holding onto that edge for dear life. A single tap was felt and Remus held his breath waiting for the second. As soon as he was sure the second was not in the works he came with a shout.

As he spilled, he realized something that made it more intense. Sirius was swallowing around him. He gasped as this realization caused another wave to reach up and pull him under. He was shaking as he came down. Sirius was holding him when he came back to reality. Remus nuzzled against his neck. “Thank you,” Remus muttered.

“Pretty boy like you definitely needs someone to take care of him,” Sirius commented and Remus pulled back to make a face at him.

“For someone so concerned about me eating I would like to point out you interrupted dinner,” Remus felt like this was a valid and important point. Sirius hummed contently, his arms tightening around Remus.

“But I got all the tension out of my boyfriend and that makes me feel like I definitely won tonight,” Sirius informed him. Remus couldn’t argue. Between being so tired and feeling so relaxed he drifted. He was most of the way asleep when he realized he didn’t return the favor.

“Should get you off,” Remus slurred heavily. Sirius laughed and kissed the top of his head.

“I want you to be sated and well taken care of. I am going to give you as many org*sms as you will let me. I can wait for mine,” Sirius responded. “Get some sleep.” Remus frowned but stopped fighting, letting sleep take over.

--

Several hours later Remus woke up. Sirius was sleeping soundly next to him with an arm cast possessively over his waist. Remus could feel that Sirius had changed into comfy sweats. He carefully lifted the arm over his waist and shimmied out of the bed. He found a pair of sweats nearby and tugged them on. Luckily, Sirius' sweats were so baggy on the thin man they easily fit Remus.

He padded carefully down the stairs and into the kitchen. “Hello pretty,” he greeted the cat as he gathered a glass from the cabinets. He opened the fridge. A carefully wrapped pan greeted him. Remus smiled at the ridiculousness that was Sirius and grabbed the water pitcher pouring some into his glass. “Your daddy is a bit ridiculous,” Remus informed the cat, rubbing her head as he leaned on the counter. He unlocked his phone.

Lily had texted him a few times with screencaps of her messages with James. Remus texted her back reminding her not to let the managers see her texting at the restaurant. He also spent several long moments helping her dissect what James was saying and what he could possibly mean by certain things. It was so easy to wind her up. James was very obviously smitten with her. They were already bonding over plants. Remus should have expected that. Lily had been destined to end up with another crazy plant parent from the offset.

She sent back a no duh about not letting the managers see her. Remus knew she was good at keeping her phone use from the management. He had always been too nervous to use his phone while on the clock. Turned out it didn’t matter, they had been out for him from the get.

They exchanged a few more back-and-forths about his plans for his days off. He was going to call and see if his tad was up for visitors, maybe introduce Sirius properly. He asked about her plans with her time off. She was going on a date with James on Sunday. She sounded like she was really looking forward to it.

She sent several pictures of her various outfits asking what he thought she should wear. Of course, this led to him asking for clarification about what kind of date.

{I Would Do It Again:} He won’t tell me which is annoying. Should I wear a dress or trousers? Heels or trainers? It’s completely impossible to dress for a date with no idea of what he is planning.

{I Didn’t Do It:} What if you went with a compromise? Nice pair of shorts, a comfy top, and flats. That way if he turns out to be a total creeper you can run but your legs are still displayed in all their epic glory.

Remus made a mental note to try and get some information from James about this date. Lily was really not the type that liked surprises.

{IWDIA:} It’s like you know nothing about fashion.

{IDDI:} I pay very little attention to fashion and even less to women's fashion. My main consideration is comfy. Form is very often a distant second if I even think about it in the first place. So far it’s only kicked my ass because I don’t want Siri thinking I’m sloppy.

{IWDIA:} See and this is the problem. I want to be comfortable but cute and also practical. If we’re going to a restaurant; a dress and heels with a light jacket but if we’re going on a walking adventure I would prefer more comfortable shoes and a proper jacket. If we go down to the beach, shorts and thong sandals would do the trick. Every time I ask he sends back vague and unhelpful.

{IDDI:} Could give me his number to see what I could weasel out of him.

It was mostly a joke but the number came through. Remus saved it but told her, he was not texting James at 1:30 in the morning. Get some sleep Red. We’ll sort this out later.

Lily begrudgingly accepted this and Remus flipped through some other apps mindlessly, occasionally scratching Bastet, and eventually found himself staring at his search bar again. He had been doing this a lot lately. Finally, with some hesitation, he typed in dominant/submissive. He scrolled past the images and into actual information. Most of it wasn’t bad, just intriguing. He was definitely going to have that full conversation with Sirius sooner than later.

*~*

Chapter 16: Stonehenge

Chapter Text

Despite his late-night wake-up and conversation, Remus was still up early the next morning. He was chopping apples when Sirius made his way down the stairs. Remus passed him a mug of coffee. “I like waking up with you here,” Sirius commented, settling at the counter.

“You only say that because I make decent coffee and make you breakfast,” Remus informed him, scooping cottage cheese into two bowls. “Are you allergic to all nuts or just peanuts?” he asked, dropping the cubes of apples on top of the cottage cheese.

“Just peanuts,” Sirius informed him, watching curiously as Remus added chopped walnuts and cinnamon. He passed Sirius a bowl and drizzled honey over his own serving before handing the sticky condiment to Sirius. “Did you think James would provide things that would poison me?”

“I bought those and the cottage cheese because I know how to use a market and there is a cute one just down the street. Oh, here,” Remus removed the keycard from his pocket and set it down with a glass of orange juice.

“Between you and James, I am never going to be able to subsist on takeaway again am I?” Sirius asked and Remus shook his head. “You keep that. I’ll pull out my spare,” Sirius nudged the white card across the counter. Remus considered objecting but knew with Sirius it would be a moot point. He tucked it into his wallet.

“Speaking of James, do you know what he is planning for a first date with Lily?” Remus asked, dragging his spoon through the drizzle of honey and crunching an apple piece. It was a good breakfast.

Sirius picked up his phone and opened his messaging app. He snickered at some of the messages. Remus wondered if he had been subjected to a similar set of messages as he had been. “He’s torn between a wine tasting at a vineyard just out of town or a picnic in the park.”

Remus noticed Sirius didn’t even question it when Remus pulled out his phone to text Lily. “He’s not telling her and she doesn’t know what shoes to wear,” Sirius guessed and Remus nodded.

It only took a moment for her to answer the text. “She says she would prefer a picnic lunch in the park,” Remus informed Sirius. Sirius typed on his phone.

“You know, if he finds out how he just got played, I will hold you responsible,” Sirius commented, locking his phone.

“We didn’t do it in a mean way. We played him in a way to take Lily on the perfect date in the appropriate footwear,” Remus showed Sirius the pictures Lily had sent him. A very pretty sundress and strappy sandals.

“Cute,” Sirius agreed. Remus sighed when the nurse texted him back. Lyall was already having a bad day. “You ok?” Sirius asked, noticing the furrow between his brows.

“I was hoping to go and see my tad and introduce you officially but he’s not doing well. More bad days than good, unfortunately,” Remus mourned every year that his father sank further and further into his own mind. He missed the good days.

Sirius reached over the counter and took his hand. “Can I help at all?” he asked, genuine concern filling his words. Remus sighed and shook his head.

“I don’t think anyone can help at this point,” Remus turned off the screen. He didn’t think anything could help a deteriorating mind. They ate more of their breakfast chatting about small things.

“Well I have a plan for the day if you are game,” Sirius suggested as Remus loaded the breakfast dishes into the dishwasher. Remus raised an eyebrow at him intrigued. “Dress comfortably and warm.” Sirius pressed a kiss to Remus’ cheek and shooed him up toward the bedroom.

Remus sighed and made his way up to change into jeans and trainers as Sirius poked around on his own phone. Once he was dressed he came back down. Sirius smiled sweetly at him and went up to get dressed himself. Remus admired the simplicity of his dark wash jeans and the white t-shirt. “I like your hair like that.” Sirius had pulled it up into a half ponytail.

“Thanks. Marlene once told me it makes me look like a pirate. I have always been partial to the Johnny Depp look,” Sirius pulled out a pair of sunglasses.

“Nah, more like Orlando Bloom,” Remus corrected, taking the leather jacket he was offered. Sirius looked like he was trying to work out whether or not he was offended. They made their way down to the bike and Sirius offered Remus a pair of sunglasses along with the helmet. Remus climbed on carefully and slid as close as physically possible before Sirius pulled away easily.

Remus was surprised at how short the ride was until he saw where Sirius had pulled up. A cute little bistro. “We just ate breakfast,” Remus commented.

“I know, I’m picking up our lunch,” Sirius dismounted and opened one of the bags on the side. A moment later a large bag was brought out. Sirius thanked the man, tipped him, and tucked it into the compartment easily. “Just let me surprise you, Rem, it’ll be worth it.”

Remus sighed, but before climbing back up behind Sirius, he pointed to one of the public restrooms “Hold up, I have to hit the loo.” Remus popped into the box real quick and then came back out. He figured with Sirius it was always best to be prepared for anything. He climbed back up behind the other and settled in. He double-checked that his legs were not against the exhaust.

He was really glad he had taken that bathroom break as they took off. After thirty minutes the city around them petered out giving way to wide sweeping fields. Remus was also getting a bit stiff, the bike was not comfortable for long periods of time. However, he loosened his hold on Sirius and sat back slightly. The wide open road was a bit smoother so he didn’t have to hold on as much.

“Where are we going?” Remus shouted over the wind when he noticed they passed the hour mark. He couldn’t remember the last time he had been on the road this long. Normally his tad took breaks every twenty minutes. The one time he and Lily went to a concert she had driven straight for an hour but that was just to get to the hotel.

“Hush up, we're almost there. It’s a surprise,” Sirius called back. Remus settled back into the seat admiring the scenery. He was only holding onto Sirius loosely at this point. Still close enough to smell his cologne but not pressed as close as possible anymore. Honestly, as he got used to the bike it scared him less and less.

When Sirius started maneuvering again Remus pressed back in close. Finally, they parked. Remus slid off as all his joints protested after the long time spent in one position. Sirius on the other hand looked as happy as could be. He tucked the helmets away, gathered the lunch bag, and led Remus around. “Stonehenge?” Remus asked.

He’d been here on a few school trips once or twice but had never actually come as an adult. It was always a wonderful thing to see and do. “Yeah, a fun way to spend a day, and honestly it's a neat place to come hang out. Plus it’s not the height of summer so hopefully, it won’t be terribly crowded. Mother and father used to insist we come up once a year, something about history or what the f*ck ever. I learned it was mostly for the family to be seen in public and get nice pictures in the paper.”

Remus gave his arm a gentle squeeze. “So am I helping you make better memories?” Remus asked. Sirius nodded and wrapped an arm around him.

“About nearly everything,” Sirius responded. They made their way to the shuttle and Sirius showed his member pass to be let on. Remus settled on the shuttle next to the window and they were off shortly. It was only five minutes up to the monument. They walked to the beginning of the marked path. Remus looked up at the gigantic ancient stones.

“It always amazed me that humans without any tech or magic transported these stones 74 kilometers from Wales and set them up so precisely,” Remus commented admiring the size and complexity.

“Yeah it’s impressive they got them up that high,” Sirius agreed and Remus glanced at him.

“I’m not just talking about the lintels and such. It’s a big calendar,” Remus told him as they started to walk around. As they carefully wandered he explained how the sun fell over the rocks in a specific way and due to recent scans and recreations, they had found it had measured the longest and shortest day of the year perfectly. Not to mention when to start their planting and harvesting. “They even have stones set up to account for the extra time we just stick into a leap year,” Remus commented.

Bless his heart, Sirius nodded along as Remus gave a complete nerdgasm info dump on him. “I’m sorry, that was probably more than you wanted to know,” Remus commented as they reached a halfway point.

“It was very cute and I appreciate you sharing,” Sirius replied and gestured for them to step into the wide area of the path and settle down in the long grass. Sirius unfolded a blanket. “It’s a picnic pack. I get it from that little bistro when I am planning on a long bike ride.”

Remus sat on the blanket with Sirius and watched as he pulled out a very long sandwich, several smaller dishes, actual plates and silverware, and a teapot. Remus frowned until Sirius removed a thermos, some loose-leaf tea, and some mugs. “Excessive. What’s wrong with a sandwich, a bit of salad, and some water?” Remus asked as Sirius offered him a bottle of water.

“You’re dating a rich man, get used to excess,” Sirius added the tea to the pot and added the hot water. He set it off to the side and offered Remus a plate. He sighed and took it. “It’s a stuffed rainbow baguette. It has hummus, pesto, beetroot, red pepper, carrots, and spinach leaves.” Remus took the portion Sirius offered, it was very pretty and colorful. There were cheese and onion pasties, apple and walnut penne, and cute little vanilla cupcakes for dessert.

“You want to make it so all I want to do is take a nap after this,” Remus commented as he wiped his fingers and drained the last bit of his tea. Sirius tucked away the dishes as they finished up.

“I mean we have all day. The monument doesn’t close until five,” Sirius pointed out, pouring himself another mug of the tea.

“I am not taking a nap out here, I would be so sunburned,” Remus informed him. Sirius shrugged and they stood. Remus realized only after Sirius picked up the blanket that they had forgotten something. The little teapot fell out of the blanket and hit the ground breaking into a few large pieces. “Oh sh*t,” Remus knelt down to pick up the broken pot.

“I will have to pay extra for breaking the pot, oops,” Sirius looked a little upset but not much. “Just tuck it in with all the trash. We’ll toss it on the way.” Remus frowned at the blatant waste but did as Sirius asked. Honestly, it was the most sensible solution with a broken pot.

They made sure to leave nothing behind even going so far as to collect other people’s trash left behind, a pet peeve of Remus’ was people who littered or left trash behind. “So why does Lily call you Moony?” Sirius asked as they wandered around the second half of the loop. It took them closer to the stones.

“My mam was into wolves to an unhealthy degree which is why I am named Wolf McWolf. I was also born during a full moon so when I was growing up she called me Moonpie, Moonbeam, and her Moon miracle. Lily and I lived together for a brief period after high school until we realized we would literally kill each other. One morning she came into the kitchen and made a snide comment about how the guy I was hooking up with kept her up. I told her to kiss my ass and in a marvelous display of maturity mooned her. Unimpressed she shot back, ‘Wow really living up to the nickname there Moony.’ She’s called me that ever since,” Remus recounted. It was a fun story. Honestly if anyone but Lily had tried to resurrect the name he would have hated it.

“That’s cute,” Sirius wrapped an arm around him as they stopped at the closest point. “James will sometimes call me Padfoot. When I was little I found Ma’s pads and didn’t know what they were. I thought they were like dusters for the feet. So I peeled the backing off of the adhesive. James and I went through the whole house cleaning up the floors with these attached to our feet. When Ma got home she didn’t know whether to be angry or amused.” Remus smiled at the story. He could just imagine a young James and Sirius going through the house with menstrual pads stuck to their feet thinking they were cleaning.

Sirius set down all the extra bags and took a few selfies with Remus in front of the rocks. A very helpful American tourist offered to take a couple of pictures of them. Sirius convinced Remus to pose in ridiculous ways. Sirius pretended to swoon and Remus had to hold him up. Then Sirius convinced him to look like star-crossed lovers unable to touch. They even lay on the ground and posed. The kiss that Sirius pulled him in for surprised him but he wound his arms around the other happily. They even took a few pictures with the tourist and her friend, apparently, she enjoyed their energy and Sirius made her laugh a few times. “Thank you for putting up with me. Can I take some pictures for you?” He offered the two women.

Sirius took his craft very seriously. Remus could see the artistic spirit in the way he focused on each shot even with just a phone camera. They were beautiful pictures and Remus hoped the women remembered their trip fondly. He handed back the phone and they separated after that.

“I didn’t know you were also into photography,” Remus commented.

“I like all different kinds of art. Painting is my favorite but I am also partial to drawing. Digital art and photography are a bit more passive than I generally like. Sculpting is fun when I have the focus for it,” Sirius shared with him. “We should take a pottery class together sometime.”

“Your attempts to turn me into an artist won’t work,” Remus pointed out. Sirius paused and frowned at Remus.

“I am not trying to turn you into an artist. It would be neat to share that passion with someone I hope will be around for a long time but it is not necessary, we have plenty of common interests and even if I don’t share your love of history and you don’t share my love of art we can still talk to each other about it. I was thinking of activities that are low-impact on your joints. I hear pottery can help arthritis in the hands,” Sirius told him. Remus felt himself flush slightly.

“Oh… thank you… that’s really sweet of you,” Remus stuttered. Before Sirius could initiate the contact Remus stepped forward and pulled him in for a long kiss. The wind swept around them as they kissed for a long moment.

“Momma lessgo to the shop,” a little girl of six or seven was pulling her mother to the gift shop.

“Oh, I love a little shop. Come on,” Sirius was all bouncy and excited. Remus tried to ignore the irony of being pulled into the shop much like the mother of the little girl. It was touristy and cute but definitely overpriced. Remus was standing there calculating if he could get Lily a set of edible flower seeds and himself a cute little brown beanie when Sirius came by with a little basket full of things.

“Oh, that would look lovely on you,” Sirius took the two items out of Remus’s hands and added them to the basket.

“Hey, wait I was doing the math,” Remus protested following after Sirius. Sirius paused and seemed to consider these words.

“I’m going to remind you with the realization that you might hate me, you don’t have to worry about that anymore,” Sirius reminded him. Remus paused and remembered, oh right Sirius had paid him. He had barely touched that money. He was working on getting a savings account set up. “Anyway, let me buy you things.”

Remus sighed and glanced in the basket; edible flowers, the beanie, a weird bird plushie, something labeled crayon rocks, and a coloring mat for kids. “Oh look at the cute little doggie.” Sirius picked up a plushie of a corgi. “Didn’t you mention Lily can’t have dogs at her place? Oh no, that was James when he briefly considered getting her a puppy. I think I’m going to get her this. And can I go half-sies on the flower seeds with you? We can give two of them to Lily and the other two to James.” Sirius was off and rambling, already moving away from Remus as he spoke.

Remus trailed behind as Sirius added a mug to the basket. He paused and Remus caught up with him as he read a package. “Oh, this is that gold repair thingy that they do in Japan,” Sirius brandished the kit at him. Remus read the label. Kintsugi Repair Kit. “Is it concerning that they have a lot of Japanese items in here?” He picked up a book of Japanese myths and legends.

“There’s a replica of Stonehenge in Japan,” Remus muttered idly examining the kit. His eyes fell on the broken teapot in the bag of trash yet to be disposed of. He added the kit to the basket and took the trash bag from Sirius.

“There’s a replica in California too but I don’t see a bunch of American crap in here,” Sirius informed him. He allowed himself to be herded toward the register.

“Why would they put American stuff in here? America stole it from everywhere else,” Remus pointed out collecting the pieces of the teapot and tucking them carefully into his bag.

“I mean if we’re going with that line of thinking, we shouldn’t have British stuff in here either,” Sirius argued and Remus met his eyes.

“And hence why it’s all Japanese stuff,” he deadpanned. Sirius rolled his eyes. They made their way to the register and Sirius paid for all of the items. They were handed over in a paper bag. A shuttle ride back to the top of the hill, a quick stop at the loo and they were on their way back to London.

The sun was fully set by the time they got back. Sirius stopped at the cafe and paid the fee for the broken pot. They picked up a quick dinner on the way back to Sirius' flat. Bastet greeted them with indignant meows and they had to placate her with pats and treats. After dinner, Remus pulled out the repair kit and the little broken pot.

“Oh that’s a neat idea and we can have something special from our date,” Sirius admired as Remus read the directions to the kit.

“I was thinking the same thing. It’ll be unique, not another like it in the world,” Remus turned his head as Sirius stood behind him. Arms wrapped around his waist and Sirius peaked over his shoulders at the directions.

Soon enough Remus felt like he had a grasp of what to do. The kit included a few practice pieces. He and Sirius both took turns before finally working together to put the teapot back together. The gold had to be applied like paint so Remus let Sirius handle that. He would slot the pieces together relying on his years of puzzles. He held the teapot together while the gold set up.

As it sat on the counter, Remus couldn’t help but admire it. The veins of gold made it look so pretty. It would take twenty-four hours for it to cure, so the two set it away from the edge and hopefully away from where Bas would mess with it. “Thank you, today was perfect,” Remus told Sirius. Sirius leaned a head on his shoulder.

“I agree completely,” Sirius murmured, making Remus smile even wider.

*~*

Chapter 17: French Girls

Chapter Text

Remus was washing his hair when slick arms came around him and hot lips found his shoulder. “I like having you here,” Sirius murmured and Remus turned in his arms so they could kiss properly. Their tongues tangled and Remus wasn’t totally surprised when Sirius pressed him against the tiled walls.

The tile was cold on his back, Sirius was warm pressed against his front and the water cascaded over them. Honestly, the pressure and the heat was amazing. Remus’ flat never got so much hot water at such high pressure. Sirius' always soaked him through and warmed him up in seconds. Remus liked being here and not simply because of the perks. The perks made him feel weird if he was being honest. He liked being here because of Sirius.

As they kissed Sirius eased a leg between his own. It was careful since there were no clothes to save them from accidental crotch shots. His knee pressed against Remus’ crotch and he rocked against that beautiful thigh. It felt amazing. Sirius broke the kiss to nuzzle against his neck as Remus all but humped his leg. His own hands slid down Sirius' shoulders and ran over his pierced nipples. The low groan and answering bite he got was lovely. He rolled the bars between his fingers.

“Bloody hell Remus,” Sirius breathed. Remus decided he liked how his name sounded coming from Sirius all breathless and laced with desire. Before he could do anything else Sirius' hands clamped around his wrists and shoved them against the tiled wall. “You wonderfully handsome temptation.” Sirius' voice held a growl, those bright eyes hot with desire made Remus feel pinned more thoroughly than the hands.

That thigh was hard and insistent between his legs. Sirius as he did this, focused on Remus’ pleasure. He didn’t do it half-assed. He didn’t let Remus run from pleasure. He would take all that was so freely offered. It made Remus satisfied to the depth of his soul. He wanted to know what it was like to have that man treating him so tenderly during sex. Making Remus feel things that he had never experienced before.

“Siri,” he breathed but not in the normal way he would say his name when Sirius was touching him. It wasn’t a plea for more or a kiss. It was a question and Sirius paused. Hands released his wrists and a long-fingered hand brushed back his soaked fringe.

“You ok mon amor?” Sirius asked. His leg retreated but his beautiful body didn't, which made Remus grateful. He shivered at the French slipping past those wonderful lips.

“Wonderful,” Remus assured him with a dopey smile, sure his own eyes were hot with desire. “Don’t want to cum in the shower against your leg. Wanna have sex with you,” Remus informed him. Sirius' breath caught and his silver eyes sharpened slightly as they examined Remus’ face. Remus wasn’t sure what he was looking for but he found it. The water cut off and Remus was being bundled into towels warmed wonderfully by the heated rack.

He assisted with his own drying as much as he was allowed, which wasn’t much. Sirius chivied him out of the bathroom. They made their way up the stairs to the loft kissing and groping and giggling. Remus was tumbled onto the bed and Sirius reached over to click on the lamp, seeming to think better of it when he noticed the discomfort on Remus’ face. “Rem?” he asked.

“I’m just a bit self-aware,” Remus breathed. Sirius considered him for a second.

“Hold on, I'll be right back,” Sirius informed him and climbed off the bed. Remus adjusted himself on the bed sliding under the covers as he waited for Sirius to return. He stepped back up as naked as the day he was born with no shame. He tossed a tube on the bed. Lube Remus noticed with a flush and then the distinct sound of a lighter reached his ears.

He watched as Sirius clicked his lighter and tipped the flame into a candle in a glass jar. He cursed as he burned his fingers. “Should have used a taper, I find those wooden chopsticks they send with take-out work perfectly,” Remus informed him, smiling at his silly boyfriend. Were they boyfriends? He shoved the voice away. He was laying naked in Sirius' bed teasing him about candles, this was definitely boyfriend territory.

Sirius gave him an unimpressed look and set the candle down near the lamp. He moved to the other side of the bed catching three candles on the dresser and one more on the other table. It lit the room in a soft glow so unlike the harsh unkind light of modern lamps. Sirius placed his lighter on the table far enough away from the candle that there would be no heat transfer. “Bastet will leave them alone?” Remus asked.

“She doesn’t come up when I have someone up here, at least while we’re awake,” Sirius confessed. Remus shut out the true meaning, Sirius had had partners here before, and just took it at face value, the cat was not going to knock over the candles. Sirius joined him in bed under the covers. He threaded his fingers with Remus' and they kissed for a brief moment. Sirius pulled back first and his eyes traced over Remus’ face.

Remus felt himself flush, it was like Sirius’s gaze was a touch imparting lingering warmth to his skin. Remus saw his hand come up hesitantly. A moment later long fingers touched the deepest of the scars on his face. One that cut through an eyebrow, had only missed blinding him by a few centimeters although it did pull down the corner of that eye, hence why he had to wear reading glasses. It continued down pulling down the corner of his mouth before tracing down his chin and over his neck. He closed his eyes as Sirius' fingers traced the jagged line. It had taken the most work to close and had been the one doctors were most worried about. It was also one that ached when he had to smile for too long at work.

Lips replaced fingers and Remus shuddered as Sirius repeated this process over his whole face. He followed the scars with his fingers and would occasionally place gentle kisses on them as though trying to soothe the old injury, the old pain. “I won’t insult you by saying I don’t know why you’re self-conscious,” Sirius informed him, tracing over a scar on Remus’ shoulder. “However I want you to know I am curious about their origin and they don’t detract from your handsomeness, they just add a layer of ruggedness.” Sirius' breath was warm on his shoulder and ear.

Remus swallowed but deigned not to answer. If he got into he would cry, he didn't want to cry right now. He leaned in to get another one of those kisses that made his stomach clench. Sirius complied and leaned in to kiss him. It was magic kissing Sirius. Sirius kissed with such passion and caring. Giving his all to the kiss. “Wanna ask you for something before we get too far along,” Remus broke the kiss when Sirius nudged a knee between his legs urging him to open his legs.

Sirius paused his shifting to meet Remus’ eyes again. His silver eyes were so pretty. Remus reached up and tucked a stray lock behind his ear. Sirius shivered as Remus’ fingers traced over the shell. “Anything you want,” Sirius promised rashly. It would be so easy to take advantage of the infinite kindness that was Sirius.

“I don’t want… can we be gentle and not kinky for the first time?” Remus asked nervously. He liked the bits of Sirius' dominance that he had seen but for the first time, he wanted to just be with Sirius. He didn’t want to have to focus on rules or being a certain way.

“Of course. I hope you will still ask for permission but we can go vanilla if you would like,” Sirius agreed easily. He ran his fingers through Remus’ damp hair. Sirius leaned back to kiss him swiftly. Remus felt himself relax completely. He was so grateful for Sirius at that moment. The blanket shifted off of him as Sirius moved. He didn’t mind so much as Sirius looked at him with such deep desire in his eyes.

It felt like he could set Remus on fire with the mere intensity of his gaze. Hands traced over his scars sending delightful shivers up his spine. He felt so cared for and accepted. Attractive if he even let himself think of that word without shying away from it. Lips followed hands tracing over his scars with a reverence making it feel like Sirius worshiped every single mark and every single piece of who Remus was.

When soft lips closed over a nipple he gave a low gasp and found his hands burying themselves into damp dark hair. As Sirius ran his tongue over the nipple and the long hair brushed over his chest, it was a lovely sensation. Sirius didn’t seem to mind hands in his hair. He nibbled lightly on the nipple and continued to run his hands over his skin. Remus had never felt so desired before. Sirius showed it in every touch and kiss.

Remus wasn’t sure how Sirius was measuring time but he was measuring it with every stroke of the tongue over his nipple. Sirius eased off, the cool air hitting his overheated skin. Damp kisses were placed on his chest as Sirius moved to the other nipple. “I am not usually into body hair but I like yours,” Sirius remarked, running his fingers over the springy chest hair. Remus thought he might have to reply but then his other nipple was being sucked on and he lost the ability to verbalize.

He was sure he accidentally pulled Sirius' hair when a hand closed over his erection. Sirius never seemed to have a problem focusing on both things. His lips, teeth, and tongue kept tormenting Remus’ nipple and his hand stroked slowly and steadily over his shaft winding him up. It was absolutely fabulous and completely torturous.

When Remus was sure he was going to lose it Sirius' mouth detached from his nipple and kissed down his treasure trail. One lick at the tip of his co*ck and then Sirius was kissing over his thighs. “f*ck I love your thighs. They’re going to feel amazing wrapped around me,” the slight scrape of stubble had Remus throbbing so hard he was worried he was going to cum without being touched. “Sweetheart, how do you feel about hickeys?” Sirius asked, his lips soft against the sensitive skin.

“Nowhere I can’t cover them,” Remus answered and felt the wicked grin against his skin. A moment later the sharp feeling of teeth in his thigh surprised him. “Ffyc, Cariad warn a man,” Remus gasped as Sirius sucked a mark into his thigh. It didn’t hurt much, it just added a new layer of intensity to everything.

“So hot when you speak Welsh. I feel like holding your leg and kissing your thigh while asking about hickeys was warning enough,” Sirius informed him, soothing the bite with a kiss. His fingers continued to trace over Remus’ thighs driving him insane in the best of ways.

“My brain went bye-bye when half the blood flow was rerouted downward. I need you to basically assume I dumb as box of rocks right now,” Remus argued. Sirius kissed his other thigh, the stubble tickled but not in a way that made Remus want to shift away. More in a way that made his co*ck throb.

“Come now Rem, let's not insult boxes of rocks,” Sirius teased. Remus glared up at him. Sirius just gave him a lovely smile. His teeth grazed Remus’ skin, causing him to tense just slightly. The bite never came until Remus relaxed, then those deadly teeth sank into his thigh. He jerked slightly. “It’s no fun if you are anticipating it.” Remus found himself answering the teasing smile. He liked the teasing manner in which Sirius was handling him. He had never really been with a partner who was playful in bed. He liked it. He liked that Sirius didn't take anything with a somber nature.

Sirius soothed the bite with a gentle kiss and then placed his hands on his thighs and pressed them open. Remus parted his legs and braced his feet on the mattress. “Such a pretty baby boy all spread out for me,” Sirius praised. Remus felt warmth flood every part of his body. Sirius reached back to grab the tube of lube. “Still doing ok?” Sirius kissed Remus’ knee.

Remus smiled at him. “Hurry up, Siri please, want you,” Remus murmured. Sirius rolled the tube between his hands before popping the top and spreading some on his fingers. When the slick fluid touched his skin he realized Sirius was warming the lube. He relaxed into the touch and pressed down trying to speed Sirius up.

“Patience. I want to take my time with you,” Sirius soothed him even as he breached Remus’ body. Remus didn’t want to be patient but having a long drawn-out session with Sirius, beautiful, attentive Sirius sounded like an amazing plan. Bright eyes cataloged his every reaction. Then Sirius bent his finger and all thought was washed away.

Remus’ eyes slid shut and he leaned into the sensation. He’d been feeling a little sore from lunch on the ground and the long trip on the bike but all those aches seemed to fade as Sirius pressed against his prostate. A low chuckle told him his response was appreciated. He barely noticed when a second finger was added.

Remus could already tell Sirius was a thoughtful and thorough lover, he should have realized that would extend to prep. Fingers were spread out carefully opening him so sweetly he wanted to cry. He also wanted to scream at Sirius to hurry the f*ck up, he wasn’t glass. However he’d asked for a gentle encounter tonight, he couldn’t be mad that he was getting it.

The third finger tested his resolve not to yell at Sirius. He tangled his fingers in the sheets as his toes curled. “Siri, please, don’t tease,” Remus pleaded his voice breathless. He had apparently said the right thing. Sirius' fingers were removed and he felt the blunt slick head brush against him. He took a deep breath that he let out in a whoosh as Sirius pressed forward.

It was always a lot the first time with anyone new. He realized it was even more intense with Sirius because there was no condom separating them. He had never gone bareback with anyone. Sirius' arms shook slightly as he tried to keep his pace easy. When his hips bumped against Remus’ body both men gave out a low sigh. Remus reached up and pushed his hair back. “You feel amazing,” he whispered and Sirius gave him a co*cky smile though it was a little strained.

“I knew your tight-ass tendencies would pay off,” Sirius informed him. Remus wished he could be offended but Sirius shifted and rubbed right over his prostate. “Gonna make you see stars.” Sirius shifted onto his knees properly and lifted Remus’ legs over his shoulders.

“I already am seeing one star,” Remus groaned as Sirius moved, giving him a proper thrust. It felt so amazing and deep. He thought the compliment was too much when Sirius paused but he simply got a loving smile and another proper thrust.

Remus gave a low groan and his toes curled slightly. Sirius took his time forging that path deeper into Remus. His thrusts were measured and careful until he was pulling nearly all the way out. He slid forward and the sound of skin on skin sounded as Remus’ cried out sharply. Sirius kept the pace deep, slow, and f*cking amazing. Every thrust pushed as deep as Sirius could go.

The pace picked up bit by bit until Remus placed his hands on the headboard to keep himself from sliding into it. The bed shook under the movement and tapped lightly on the wall. Every deep slide had Remus shouting obscenities and sweet praises in Welsh and English. He reached down to take himself in hand. He felt Sirius' hand close over his wrist but it was released. “Let me,” Sirius' gentle voice urged. Remus smiled as he realized Sirius had stopped himself from just sliding into a dominant role and taking over. It was lovely. He removed his hand. It was replaced with the long-fingered elegance he would forever associate with Sirius.

The hand stroked him in time with the thrusts and he felt his release approaching rapidly. He sucked in several deep breaths. “Siri, wanna cum. Please can I cum, you make me feel so good,” Remus breathed his hands tightening on the headboard.

“Hold on, love,” Sirius groaned, his own face deeply concentrated but he also looked like he was experiencing the best thing in the world. That best thing was Remus. Thinking like that was only going to make it harder to hold back. No one else could have held sway at that moment. He was holding back because Sirius had asked him to. That was all he needed. Silver eyes met his, the depth of affection had Remus’ stomach tightening for a whole other reason. Sirius really had to stop looking at him like that. It was going to get them both in over their heads.

Remus arched his back slightly. “Siri please wanna be good,” Remus breathed, straining against the other as he tried desperately to hold back. Sirius gave a low growl that sent shivers of desire and pleasure racing up his spine. He gave a small whimper.

“Cum for me,” Sirius breathed and Remus swore his soul left his body for several minutes as he spilled over Sirius' hand and his own stomach. He could feel Sirius taking his own release buried deep inside of him. He could feel the warmth filling him, lingering to remind him of the wonderful moments with Sirius so close.

He came back down and he was cradled in Sirius' arms. “That was amazing,” Remus informed him, tracing over the Orion constellation inked into Sirius' skin. Sirius hummed happily and hugged him close.

“I appreciate you letting me get to experience you that way,” Sirius' voice was soft as he held Remus.

“That’s such a posh and appropriate answer,” Remus informed him and Sirius kissed the top of his head.

“I apologize. Let me try again. Up wench make me a sandwich while I get a post f*ck fa*g,” Sirius shifted the blanket and Remus made a whining noise. Sirius hadn’t made any true effort to move though so Remus wasn’t truly fussed. “Is that better suited to your sensibilities, peasant?” Sirius' voice held no malice. If anything he made peasant sound like the highest compliment of the land.

“Oh quite, I like my men crass and rude. I also adore being called wench and peasant,” Remus remarked dryly but didn’t push Sirius away. If anything he tightened his hold on the other.

“I will have to remember that” Sirius murmured. He tipped Remus’ face up and kissed him. “Did I cross a line?” he asked. His hand slid down to the marks he had left on Remus’ thighs as clarification.

“Nope. I loved it. I should have phrased my request differently. I didn’t want you to be the dom tonight I just wanted Sirius. Gentle was the only word I could think of,” Remus informed him and Sirius nodded.

“Vanilla works too,” Sirius pointed out. Remus sighed.

“It’s weird that people think vanilla is boring. It is actually the most complex taste a human can process,” Remus informed him. He wanted to keep cuddling but his bladder was yelling at him and the cum was starting to cool on his skin. Sirius let him go as soon as he indicated he wanted loose.

Remus reached over and picked up the sweatpants that usually lived on the floor. Sirius also sat up and tugged on a pair of pants. They were tight and hugged his ass. Remus admired that as he wandered down the steps. Remus was quick in the bathroom washing the cum off his skin, the lube out of his ass, and taking a piss. He joined Sirius at the window.

“You should quit smoking, it's bad for you… and your cat,” Remus added when said mammal joined them in the window. Remus ran his hand along the brightly colored sweater Sirius had put on her just that morning.

“You sound like my mum,” Sirius commented. Remus admired his face in the moonlight.

“Why do you call James’ parents your mum and dad?” Remus asked. He hadn’t missed the way Sirius only referred to his parents as mother and father or the way he referred to James’ parents as mum and dad or by their names.

“My parents should not have had children but they did. They worked very hard to turn me into a perfect copy of Orion Arcturus Black. When they couldn’t do that they worked very hard to at least bend my will. Effie and Monty were the exact opposite; those two let me and James run roughshod over them every single holiday,” Sirius spoke with a strange nostalgia in his voice. He looked over at Remus. “Monty actually gave me my first sketchpad when James wrote home from our very posh boarding school that I was in trouble for doodling on the margins of homework. He always encourages me.”

“You’ll have to draw me like one of your French girls,” Remus effected a swoon and Sirius threw a cat toy at him. It bounced off his cheek and skittered across the floor. Bastet took off after it.

“Maybe I will spread out and bare for just me,” Sirius commented, stubbing out his cigarette. Remus felt his cheeks burn even as he thought he wouldn’t mind posing for that picture.

*~*

Chapter 18: Pancakes and Contracts

Chapter Text

Remus woke up the next morning warm and comfy. Sirius was snoring softly next to him. Their legs were tangled together and their hands were wrapped up between their bodies as they lay face to face. Remus admired the sleeping features of the beautiful man next to him. Relaxed looked good on him too, although not as good as when he was sinking into Remus. He would hold onto that face for a while.

Remus carefully untangled himself from Sirius and dressed. He wrote a note and left it on the counter before heading down to the market. When he returned Sirius was still snoring, Bastet was now sleeping on his chest. Remus tossed the note in the recycling bin and started on breakfast.

Sirius woke when Remus had just finished the first round of bacon. “Did you befoul my kitchen with meat?” Sirius asked, horrified even as he poured himself a cup of coffee.

“It’s plant-based, you jerk,” Remus informed him flatly. “I’ve resolved myself to no peanut butter and no animal meat when I stay with you. Although I might turn your cat into a casserole.”

“A cattserole,” Sirius let out a giggle as he picked up a piece of the bacon and gave it a sniff. He took a bite and mused. “Not bad. Why is Bastet being threatened?” Sirius asked. Remus picked up the beast from where she was trying to steal the bacon and set her on the floor.

“At four am she decided my face was the perfect place to lay down. Your cat tried to suffocate me… with her butt,” Remus accused and Sirius looked down at Bastet now winding around his ankles looking up at him as though to entice him to feed her plant-based bacon that she couldn’t digest.

“That’s a very serious accusation,” he bent over and picked up the cat. She purred happily. “I know honey I believe the bad man is trying to besmirch your perfect reputation. Let’s ignore him.” He nuzzled the soft kitty. She chewed on his hair.

“I have chocolate chip pancakes,” Remus informed him.

“Oh you’re on your own babe,” he dropped the cat unceremoniously on the couch and returned to the counter looking at Remus adoringly. Remus rolled his eyes, forking out the last of the bacon and pouring the pancakes.

“Sold your cat out for pancakes,” Remus tutted, adding chocolate chips.

“Pancakes and a cute ass,” Sirius corrected. “I would have sold her out for a kiss and a grope too just so you know.” Remus flushed and checked the doneness of the pancakes. He flipped them over.

“So rude,” Remus scolded, picking up a piece of the bacon himself. It was ok, not as good as the real thing but he could handle it for Sirius. Sirius shrugged and crooked a finger at Remus. Remus sighed and leaned across the counter to kiss him. “You can’t always summon me that way.”

“Yes, I can, I'm in charge, remember?” Sirius informed him their breaths mingling, smelling of coffee and fake bacon. Remus forced his brain not to short-circuit at the way Sirius was looking at him.

“Not until you tell me what that fully means mister,” Remus informed him. He pushed back so he could go tend to the pancakes. He placed a plate in front of Sirius and settled in his own chair. Sirius doused his pancakes in syrup.

“I do have a mostly edited contract,” Sirius admitted and Remus glanced over at him so fast he felt his neck twinge. “I’m a little concerned about showing it to you… and scaring you off. You’re so vanilla and it is so not.”

“Vanilla is complicated,” Remus reminded him trying to think of anything else. He wasn’t sure what else to say.

“And so are you but vanilla is also underrated, overlooked, and deceptively simple on the surface. So in many ways, you are a wonderful vanilla partner. The contract comes from me being very clear and direct with what I want, it’s not watered down and there is very little room for compromise,” Sirius touched his cheek. Remus considered this, chewing on the inside of his cheek. It hurt, he didn’t stop.

“If I can say no that’s all that matters to me. I can’t promise I won’t freak out but I’ll try to keep an open mind. I can promise I will let you explain and not just run off,” Remus finally answered, meeting quicksilver eyes. He reached up and held Sirius' hand to his cheek. “Will you show me after breakfast?”

Sirius examined his face. His hand slid off of Remus’ cheek resting on the hollow of his throat. “Yeah,” he agreed. Remus gave him a quick smile and turned back to his pancakes. He had to force himself to eat. It was delicious and he was starving but his stomach was all tied up in knots and full of butterflies now. In a surprisingly short period of time, they had both cleaned their plates. Remus got up automatically, loading the dishwasher.

“Come on, let's sit on the couch. I don't want this to feel like some sh*tty business meeting,” Sirius commented. Remus swallowed but took the offered hand. He sat on the couch. Sirius sorted through several piles of paper cursing every so often. He returned with a small stack of papers and two coffees.

Remus took the coffee, grateful to have something to do with his hands. Sirius had already added the sugar and cream the way Remus liked. He sat down and set the papers on the table with a bright sparkly pen. “Do you trust me?” Sirius asked and Remus glared at him as the tension cracked and broke.

“Do you think I would be in your f*cking flat ready to cover a contract if I didn’t trust you? I would have run the f*ck away when you first suggested it. I’m not dumb Sirius. I know better than to stick around when a psycho with a bad vibe suggests tying someone up,” Remus responded hotly. Sirius just gave him a fond smile.

“I’m a Black honey, we're all psychos, we're just psychos with enough money to make us posh,” Sirius responded, a little arrogance slipping into his voice. Remus thought the whole effect was ruined perfectly by Bastet attacking his head. Her rainbow sweater just added to the chaos.

Sirius picked up the papers and Remus curled against his side. Bastet promptly started bathing Remus, which was only marginally better than being attacked. On the first page written in red ink was the list of kinks they’d agreed were off limits, Sirius had added room for both of them to sign.

“Are we signing it today?” Remus asked as Sirius picked up his sketchpad to give them a sturdy surface to write against.

“Do you not want to?” Sirius asked. Remus fidgeted for a moment reaching over and tugging a blanket down to cover him. His face was warm but his feet were frozen. “Your signature doesn’t negate consent. You could sign this and then decide tomorrow you hate the whole thing. I add signature lines just to confirm it’s been talked about.”

Remus took the heavy pad of paper from Sirius and the pen and added his name. It was harder to be as nervous or take the whole thing as seriously when he noticed the ink was purple and sparkly. Sirius took the pen and also signed his name. His penmanship was elegant and obnoxious.

Sirius flipped the page and Remus took another deep calming breath. The heading jumped out at him. Rules. So far they had only covered one. There were ten on that page. Remus wondered if he could handle all of them. “I’m not planning on instituting all of these at once. I just want to cover them. We can decide if you want to dive in all at once or take it a bit slower,” Sirius assured him, seeming to sense how tense Remus was. His stomach was clenching.

He told himself to calm the f*ck down, he had asked Sirius to present this to him. He would rather have it all laid out. Sirius' breath was warm against his ear as he read the first rule. “Always call the Dominant, Sir during a scene.” Sirius’ voice was silk; seductive, expensive, smooth, likely made in a foreign country, silk. It threatened Remus’ structural integrity.

“What does that mean?” Remus asked. He wasn’t stupid, he understood basically if he let Sirius truss him up he was to use a specific title. Still, that was what his brain assumed. He wanted Sirius to explain the rule properly. If he was going to follow them he wanted to know what they were and Sirius' interpretation of them.

“I used to have this one as sir all the time but I don’t actually want that with you. It just means when you submit to me you call me sir. So if I bind you up or we’re playing or having sex if I’m in charge, which will likely be most of the time, you call me sir,” Sirius informed him. His voice was still soft. He kept Remus from picking at his cuticles.

“I think I can manage that,” Remus agreed. He’d never really even tried something like that but he was willing to try these things. It didn’t sound bad, it sounded interesting. The whole thing sounded intriguing. Part of him was screaming, to run away. A bigger part of him was into the whole thing. He wanted to try it. The lines on this page were smaller. It was clearly for initials. So his initials shined purple and sparkly next to the first rule.

Even though he could read on his own there was something intoxicating about that silk voice reading the rules to him so he adjusted so Sirius could read over his shoulder. Bastet jumped down to go lounge in the splash of sun on the floor. “No eye contact with the dominant during scenes, punishments, or bondage. Submissives should keep eyes and heads angled down.”

Remus swallowed again. Something about this made him so nervous he seemed to need to keep his throat from closing manually. He didn’t even have to ask for Sirius to elaborate. “Most of these rules are just about you submitting. That’s the point of all of this honestly. I’ll still expect a certain amount of compliance outside of a scene but I don’t want to never see your eyes again or have you call me something other than Siri when you’re feeling affectionate,” Sirius commented. Remus flushed but glanced back at Sirius. He leaned in and kissed him softly. This is why he was even willing to give it a shot, Sirius was offering him options and explanations, and even with all the rules and such he still wanted Remus to be himself.

“Ok,” Remus whispered and kept his hand steady as he once again added his initials to the line. That one was easy enough. He found it interesting as well. Submitting to Sirius sounded like it promised him ease. He wouldn’t have to worry about what he was doing, all he had to do was as he was told. If last night was any indication putting himself in Sirius' hands was worth it.

“The Submissive will not keep secrets from the Dominant. This rule covers lying and omission. I do make an exception for presents, surprises and if you are keeping someone else’s secret say Lily was to tell you something in confidence,” the exception was right under the rule but Remus was glad to hear it in Sirius' own words.

“I’m not always going to tell you everything, Sirius. Some things are just mine,” Remus informed him. He wasn’t going to give Sirius the key to his soul. That had to be earned and there were certain things he wasn’t sure he would ever be willing to tell Sirius. There were some things he wasn’t willing to tell even Lily and he had known her since nursery school.

“This is mostly in regards to you and the plans that you have. For instance, don’t go clubbing with Lily and ‘forget’ that some guy groped you. You likely won’t be in trouble for it but I will make my claim more visible the next time you go out,” Sirius told him. Remus raised an eyebrow at him.

“You look like such a posh tosser when you do air quotes with one finger,” Remus informed him as he considered the rule. “I’m not sure I can agree to this one. Its vagueness makes me nervous. I can’t agree with something that could be used to get more information than is freely given. My loyalty to you and open lanes of communication can’t be quantified like this.”

Sirius looked at his face for a moment and took the pen for him. “And that’s why we walk through the contract together,” Sirius crossed out the rule and Remus felt relief wash through him. He would be honest with Sirius and he hoped Sirius would be honest with him but not because of a rule. He wanted that to be based on trust and mutual respect.

“You’re really ok with my vetoing a rule?” Remus asked softly. Instead of picking at his cuticles, he fidgeted with the edge of the blanket.

“This is a conversation Rem, not a dictation. I want your input on our relationship. While most of it will be left up to me I want your input on what that looks like. My control is based on your consent and if you don’t like a rule then it doesn’t have to be a rule anymore. While I would love to know everything that goes on in that pretty little head all the time I am not going to mandate something that made you so tense,” Sirius informed him. Remus felt his stomach tighten again in a good way. Sirius was so sweet on occasion.

“Next rule,” Remus requested, winding his fingers with Sirius'. He liked that answer. He also liked that he had a proper say in all of this. Sirius wasn’t about to force a bunch of rules on him that he hated. Sirius adjusted the paper so he could read the next rule.

“The Submissive is only allowed to wear Dominant-approved clothing outside of the house or when guests are coming over,” Sirius read off. Remus fidgeted again.

“I’m not replacing my wardrobe. While most of it is secondhand and looks worn out it is comfortable,” Remus immediately replied. Sirius' hand over his had him stop rambling and glance at the pretty face of his tormentor.

“I’m not asking you to. This is more if you are wearing something I don’t like because you’re showing too much skin or it’s just a little too threadbare that when I ask you to change you do it,” Sirius informed him. “I won’t ask you to throw away anything and if I purchase something that you don’t like or don’t want to wear I won’t force the situation.” This made the whole thing a bit more tolerable. Remus was very protective of his very large cardigan collection.

“I never show too much skin,” Remus informed him. Sirius smirked, a sure sign of sarcasm incoming.

“I don’t know Moony, you showed me quite a bit of skin last night. I don’t know that I would want you to ever show that much skin in front of anyone else,” Sirius commented. Remus smacked him. Sirius simply held the offending hand to his chest and pulled Remus in for another kiss. “I appreciate the trust for that last night and the trust for agreeing to anything on this list now.” And now Remus watched his initials dry beside that rule. He swore Sirius had magical mind control powers sometimes.

“The Submissive is required to strip when entering the bedroom. Before this rule would have been at the door of the bedroom but since mine is a loft it means when you reach the top of the stairs,” Sirius commented. Remus immediately didn’t like the implications. What if he just wanted a kip in the middle of the afternoon or needed to grab his phone charger? He could be getting ready for work and remember something he left in the bedroom.

“I don’t like it,” Remus told him and listed off the reservations he had. Silver eyes examined his and Sirius took the pen. He didn’t cross it out, he drew an arrow to the bottom of the page and added exceptions.

“People over, on the way to work, napping, resting during the day, illness,” Sirius muttered.

“If I just have to pop in for one thing?” Remus asked and Sirius shook his head.

“I want to see your cute little bottom wiggle out of your clothes to retrieve a phone charger. You can also ask for me to get it. Sometimes I will,” Sirius gave him a lecherous grin. Remus sighed.

“Why?” he asked.

“Most of our scenes will be in the bedroom and more than that it is the one space I am likely to demand the most control so I want you to be in that headspace when you enter that room. Plus sleeping naked is lovely. Since I know you get cold easily, I will grant you the allowance to get up at night and get a sweater if you are cold. Not all the rules are going to be geared completely toward your comfort, that’s where the trust comes in.”

That was the part Remus kept snagging on. He trusted Sirius, but could he give up this much freedom and trust? Apparently, he could, his initials were drying on that line too. He only hoped he could keep his word.

Sirius kissed the side of his neck before continuing on. “The Submissive will do as the Dominant asks. This comes with the understanding that I will not cross your lines, hard limits, or safety boundaries. You are also allowed to use your safeword but there will be a discussion of why,” Sirius had already gotten in the habit of explaining things for Remus. It was sweet and a concession that Remus had definitely needed.

“If you are willing to add in no public space, not at work and not in front of friends this will be doable,” Remus was willing to deal with this. Sirius was already pushy most of the time.

“Instead I will put work completely off limits but in public and in front of our friends I will keep the requests vanilla; eat food and such,” Sirius suggested. Remus sighed. It was basically what he already did now. “And I won’t take advantage of any of these rules if we are fighting. I want you to know that.” He initialed the stupid line with a huff. Sirius' chuckle rumbled through him.

“The Submissive and Dominant agree to remain in constant contact with each other. Text messages and phone calls should always be responded to unless unable to, driving, working, napping, etc. A phone call or text will need to be sent before going dark. The Submissive and the Dominant will check in with their location; work, home, school, dead, etc.,” Sirius read off. Based on the skull emoji next to dead it was clearly a joke. Remus rolled his eyes.

“Can’t take anything seriously,” Remus sighed and Sirius shrugged.

“You asked me what my favorite dinosaur was and I had you in mind when I rewrote this. You’re funny and silly and brilliant and you work far too hard. I assume at some point you are going to send me a text that says you are dead,” Sirius pointed out. Remus couldn’t argue, that did sound like something he would do. “This one is because I am overprotective. I want to know where you are, where you are going, and when you get there. I want to offer that same reassurance to you.”

“This isn’t a thing where I tell you I am going to Lily’s and you tell me no right?” Remus clarified. Sirius frowned at him.

“I would never dream of telling you where you can and can’t go. Now while I would like for you to no longer take the bus that is a discussion we can have but ultimately if you want to take the bus or go to Lily’s I just want a head’s up. And I am never going to expect a response while you are at work,” Sirius continued. Remus marked the paper again. They were close to the end.

“The next one is the long one. I wanted to make it clear what I was talking about.” Remus nodded and Sirius smoothed Remus’ hair. Apparently, Bastet grooming it had set it on the path up Sirius' nose. “The Sub needs to take care of themselves.” It sounded easy enough. Especially since there was a clear list of requirements. Remus let Sirius continue.

“Shower/bathe and brush teeth at least once daily, eat at least twice a day, take any and all medications as prescribed, don’t pick at skin or cuticles, I am also adding don’t chew on cheek, tongue or lip. Yeah, I noticed you tore up your cheek,” Remus flushed as Sirius drew yet another arrow to the bottom of the page to add amendments. Half of the page was neat typing, the other was calligraphy in purple. “Stay hydrated. Admit when sick and allow care to be administered. Attend doctor, dentist, therapy, massage, and eye doctor appointments when needed and/or recommended. Get plenty of sleep.”

“None of those are unreasonable but I want two changes, these need to be relaxed when sick or on the weekends and it can’t be a Submissive thing. You need to do it too,” Remus informed Sirius. Sirius considered this and added the change. Just like the communication one they both marked this one.

“And finally I would like you to wear a collar,” Sirius read off. His voice was silk again but Remus’ body tensed and his mind immediately spun out.

*~*

Chapter 19: Pegging

Chapter Text

Remus looked at Sirius not sure if he was offended or not. “Like an animal, like Bastet,” he waved his arm at the cat still sleeping in a spill of sunlight. As soon as Sirius had said that Remus had pulled away completely. He now stood up. Everything was reasonable or could be. This felt like it crossed a line. Who the f*ck wanted to collar another person? He wasn’t a dog.

Sirius seemed surprised at the outburst. He glanced over at the sleeping cat and understanding bloomed on his face. “No, not like a pet or an animal,” Sirius unlocked his phone. His nails clicked on the screen. “It’s an infinity necklace. I would show you a real-life example but I don’t have one. I want to buy one with you in mind.” Sirius stood; he didn't try to grab or crowd Remus; he offered his phone.

Remus didn’t want to misunderstand this so he took the phone. Oh, it was jewelry that was removed by another person. “Why?” he asked, passing the phone back to Sirius. He wasn’t sure he wanted this yet. This was easier to understand than a leather dog collar.

“To claim you as mine for the world to see. So when you are out in public and missing me you can ground yourself by touching it and being reminded you are always on my mind,” Sirius informed him. This caused Remus to flush in the best way.

“What if I have to get an x-ray, MRI, or fly?” Remus demanded still not totally on board.

“There’s an exception for travel, medical needs, emergency, or dissolution of the contract and I will leave a spare key or the code with either James or Lily so if I am unable to take it off someone else can,” Sirius told him. Remus’ teeth were chomping down on his lip and a single eyebrow went up.

“I hate you,” Remus exploded and stormed into the kitchen to get a glass and pulled out the water pitcher from the fridge. Sirius was honestly one of the most infuriating people Remus had met, and he knew Lily. Once the glass was filled with cold water he let it sooth his fractured nerves. Sirius had followed and was watching him cautiously. It was clear he hadn’t taken the outburst at all to heart.

“Is this your deal-breaker moment?” Sirius asked carefully and Remus kept his eyes on the condensation forming on the outside of the glass. Remus’ eyes shifted about and landed on the notebook that their original hard limits were on. That lovely conversation, the things Sirius had added purely for his benefit, and the continued emphasis on consent.

“I’m not into pet play. You’re not going to attach me to a leash and… I don’t know… make me bark?” Remus asked. Sirius gave him a look.

“We should add animal play and age play to the list of hard limits,” Sirius commented. He came over to the counter and placed a hand under Remus’ chin tipping his head. “It’s not a dog collar, it’s a lovely piece of jewelry that I want to give you so I can look over and see a beautiful man who is trusting me with his soul and body. I want you to say with pride that you are utterly and completely claimed.” Remus felt his flush deepen. Of course, Sirius had to make it sound like the most amazing thing in the whole universe.

“If it does turn out to be my deal breaker moment?” Remus asked softly. Sirius sighed, his breath smelled of coffee.

“How many times do I have to remind you of consent? If you hate the collar then I remove it and we talk over it. I’m only asking for an open mind,” Sirius' voice was lovely. Remus chewed his lip. Sirius slid his thumb up to pluck it free. “Gonna earn a punishment on the first day?”

“I do it when I’m thinking,” Remus informed him. Sirius continued to stroke his bottom lip even as he talked.

“And I’ve seen how badly you tear up your lips, cuticles, skin, cheek, and tongue. I am determined to put an end to it. I’m the only one allowed to hurt you because I know how to do it without causing injury,” Sirius sounded very sure of himself.

“I think you are going to be reminding me of consent for however long we are together. However, yes I will consent to wear a collar,” Remus agreed. Sirius brought the papers over and Remus added his mark.

“Alright and the final bit here isn’t a rule it’s a renegotiation agreement. How long would you like this to be set for? We can revisit in a week or a year or anything in between,” Sirius asked and Remus gaped.

“I don’t know Siri,” he answered. Sirius considered him for a long moment.

“With the understanding that this is not you swearing to stay with me, how about we set it for six months? In six months we talk about it again and make any changes that need to be made,” Sirius explained. Six months sounded reasonable. Remus would hopefully know a little bit more about himself after six months.

“That sounds like a plan,” Remus answered. Sirius used his phone to find the date six months from now and signed his own name at the bottom with a flourish before using his phone to figure out the current date. Remus teased him as he signed his own name and then had to check his phone because he forgot the date too.

“And now the hard part, the kinks,” Sirius flipped the page. Remus groaned and placed his head on the countertop.

--

Remus slid carefully off the bike as Sirius parked. Slender fingers undid the clip and slid it off his head. “Thank you for bringing me home,” Remus was glad to be back in his own space. It made him feel a bit more grounded. The contract had been fine, he had to remember not to immediately freak out. Usually, the explanations helped. Eventually, Remus stopped Sirius and told him that he had no idea how to gauge any of it, and as long as they talked about it before he would be willing to try almost anything once.

“I figure a night off to decompress is not a bad thing. I’ll pick you up in the morning to take you to work. Hush I don’t want you on the bus and me giving you a lift lets you get more rest,” Sirius reminded him. Remus huffed but nodded. He leaned in and kissed Sirius sweetly. “I’ll let you know when I get home.” Sirius lightly touched his cheek before climbing back onto the bike.

Remus made his way upstairs and saw the envelope on his door. He plucked it off and let himself inside. He dumped his bag and the envelope on the bed and went to fix himself some dinner. Just to be a jerk he took a picture and sent it to Sirius with a tongue emoji. Sirius sent back a winky face and a picture of a takeaway bag.

Remus smiled and sat down with his dinner before calling up Lily. “Hey Moon. I thought you would be busy with Siri tonight,” she picked up.

“Nah I needed a night to just sort of be in my own space. If a man ever tells you he’s kinky, run,” Remus informed her. He could hear the hesitation and imagine her thinking very carefully before answering.

“Did something happen with Sirius that you’re not ok with?” Lily asked, her voice neutral.

“Would I be calling you all calm and collected if that was the case? No, I would avoid ever talking about it,” Remus reminded her and Lily made a noise of assent. Remus was a duck-and-run kind of a guy. “Sirius is very big on consent which means very big on talking…”

“Absolute torture for you,” Lily muttered and Remus shushed her.

“And yeah he’s into kinky stuff… which meant we had to talk about it,” Remus continued. His face warmed. Even alone in his apartment he still flushed. His phone dinged with a picture of Sirius turning the deadbolt in the door of his flat. Remus sent back a thanks.

“I mean at least he talked instead of just breaking out the ropes and expecting you to go along with it. That’s when you run. The man is offering you a chance to say no,” Lily responded, sounding like she was trying not to laugh.

“Don’t laugh at me Lil,” he pleaded.

“I’m trying honey but of our friend group you are the most vanilla and yet you found a kinky bastard. Have you done anything?” she asked excitedly. Remus huffed at her but talked to her about some of the things he had talked about with Sirius. “Oh, a full-on contract. At least that means you’re not going in blind.”

Remus wondered if he should mention the rules, the collar. Would Lily understand or would she go kill Sirius? Would she laugh at Remus for thinking it was a big deal? He didn’t bring it up. “He gave you safe words right?” she asked. Remus nodded before remembering she couldn’t see him. He answered in the affirmative. “Good if he ties you up make sure you see the shears so if needed he can cut the ropes. Safety first.”

“How do you know all this?” Remus asked.

“You may say find someone kinky and run. I say find someone kinky and find out if he’ll let me peg him,” Lily responded. Remus frowned. Had he missed his best friend being kinky? “Do you think James would let me peg him?”

“Wha… why on earth… What? Why ask me?” Remus demanded, his eyes going wide.

“You spend all of your time with Sirius who is James’ best friend ergo you are honor bound to give me all the information you get on James,” she told him promptly.

“Who the f*ck talks about pegging with their friends?” Remus asked. Lily let the silence answer the question for him. “Oh f*ck off Red. Beyond that, I hold your secrets from Sirius so I will not be spilling Sirius' secrets to you. Plus we don’t spend a lot of time talking about you and James.”

“I am offended by that. I should be the topic of all of your conversations. You helped with the date,” she reminded him.

“If we left that to you two, you would wear your nipple tassels and the strap-on I am now assuming you have and he would end up taking you to a restaurant so fancy they would kick you out because your name isn’t in the society pages,” Remus deadpanned finishing off his dinner. He placed his bowl in the sink and checked to make sure he wasn’t missing any texts. He didn’t want Sirius to think he was already ‘breaking rules.’

“There’s no need to be rude Remus,” she retorted but didn’t argue with any of his points meaning he was right. “So is that how it is now?”

“You should be willing to keep James’ secrets if you are going to be dating him,” Remus pointed out.

“And I likely will but I am also going to share much of what happens with you because you’re my best friend. Plus if I tell Dorcas half the world will know. I swear she is the queen of texting,” Lily wasn’t wrong.

“Just maybe leave out the pegging part I don’t want to know. Besides, I have already told you the biggest secret I have so far. Sirius is a kinky bastard,” Remus reminded. Lily did laugh at him this time.

“Oh honey, that was not a secret. He doesn’t look like that by accident. I had him pegged as the type to be down for a peg as soon as he walked in,” Lily responded. “I just didn’t consider he might be the one doing the pegging.”

Remus tried to consider if he was flattered or not that Lily hadn’t just assumed he was a bottom. “You make it very hard to be your friend sometimes,” he decided on, and she laughed again.

“You’re such a flatterer. Now come on, do you think James is kinky or not?” Lily asked. Remus wanted to reach through the phone and lightly push her.

“Why don’t you just ask him? You have his phone number and if I know you two, you have already exchanged a thousand and one text messages,” Remus muttered laying back on his bed.

“About plants. I can’t just go from tips on how to get his flowering shrub to actually flower to ‘Are you kinky?’ Seems like it would end up on a subreddit with creepy pickup lines,” Lily bemoaned.

“Have you asked him about his favorite dinosaur yet?” Remus asked. Lily was silent and Remus held back his laughter by sheer force of will. He could practically feel the look she was giving the phone.

“Did I give you this much sh*t about Sirius? No, I was all supportive and crap,” she mumbled.

“That’s your fault. You have been so mean to him for so long and then a puppy and a broken nose suddenly make you act like a girl and sh*t, it’s weird,” Remus retorted. If she was going to mock him about the kink, he was going to mock her about not being able to have a conversation with James.

“He protected my honor for no other reason than he likes me. It wasn’t a ploy to get in my lacy knickers or whatever. There was no quid pro quo expected. He’s just a nice dude,” Lily reminded him. Remus did have to admit it was refreshing to meet someone like James and Sirius. Nothing was expected even as everything was given.

“Dinosaurs are the start of every healthy relationship,” Remus told her. Once again he could feel the look.

“Why are you like this?” Lily asked him. Remus shrugged.

“My friendship with you started because of dinosaurs. My relationship with Sirius started because of dinosaurs. I asked Dorcas within ten minutes of meeting her about her favorite dinosaur. In my world dino equals friendo,” Remus explained. He could hear the heavily put-upon sigh.

“And what if he gives a typical answer like t-rex?” she demanded. Remus didn’t even pause.

“You dump him, that's lame.”

“You’re lame,” she fired back immediately.

“Your sister is lame,” Remus returned.

“We already knew that Remus,” she informed him promptly. Remus broke down into laughter and she joined him.

“Come on, do you think James will answer with a t-rex? I think you are selling him a bit short,” Remus answered.

“Do you think his favorite dino choice will tell me if he is into being pegged or not?” Lily asked.

“You’re a bit fixated on pegging,” Remus pointed out and Lily made a non-committal noise.

“I mean it’s been a long time since I have met someone with a nice ass willing to let me put stuff in it,” Lily commented. Remus rolled his eyes. She was so obnoxious sometimes.

“I don’t think a dinosaur is going to give you an answer on pegging,” Remus informed her. He didn’t think anything would give her an answer on pegging aside from her asking James about it straight up.

“You know you’re just vastly unhelpful,” Lily informed him.

“You know it kind of sounds like you are avoiding talking to James, that is not a good start to a relationship,” Remus commented looking up at the ugly texture of his ceiling. He pushed the envelope to the floor. It was probably a notice about a new tenant. He would read it later. He lay back on his small bed.

“I don’t know how to go from sassy bitch who provides his daily caffeine dose to someone dating him,” Lily responded and Remus wished they were face to face so she could see the look he was giving her.

“Please tell me you are not that daft,” Remus managed when it was clear she wasn’t going to continue. Lily made a noise that sounded like she was that daft. “You don’t have to be nice to him just because you are dating. I mean you probably should but he liked the sassy rude bitch in the cafe. You don’t have to shelve the sarcasm. I give Sirius at least three barbed comments a day, he usually can be trusted to recognize one.” He didn’t think Lily needed to be nice to James all the time. She wasn’t nice to anyone all the time.

“See, I feel like that might break his brain. Plus now that I know he has a cute dog, a million plants, and a wicked sense of humor it’s harder to be mean to him,” she responded.

“Oh, so it’s not that you don’t know how to be nice to him, you just don’t want to be,” Remus extrapolated, tugging off his sweater and casting it vaguely toward the chair in the kitchen. He missed, and it fell on the floor. He did not get up to sort it out.

“If I’m nice to him the world will implode after spinning backward,” she informed him bluntly. Could she feel the force of his eyebrow raise? Remus liked to think she could because she continued after only a moment. “If I am nice to him then he’ll know.”

“He’ll know what?” Remus asked furrowing his brow. Normally he could keep up with Lily but tonight she had him completely flummoxed and a little lost.

“He’ll just know…” she sounded like she was flapping her hands. Remus waited patiently. Her voice was much quieter this time around. “He’ll know that I like him.”

“He knew that when you gave him your number and agreed to go out with him?” Remus pointed out. She gave a low noise that sounded like she was ready to kill Remus for failing to understand. He felt his lack of understanding made sense. She was being ridiculous.

“No, he’ll really know and other people will know and it’s just… Ok,” she went on. Remus felt like his confusion was even more justified now.

“Ummm… no,” Remus tried and she huffed at him.

“Remus I promise it’s a whole thing,” Lily informed him. Remus still felt totally lost.

“I’m beginning to remember why I don’t date women. I have never had a conversation this confusing with a man,” Remus told her straight up.

“You’re just vastly unhelpful,” she snapped. “I’m going to call Dorcas.” Remus was greeted with the sound of her hanging up.

{CWB:} Don’t date girls they are confusing. I am going to bed.

{DS:} No girl could compare to you. Sleep well.

*~*

Chapter 20: Paintbrush

Chapter Text

“If I murder Lily, would you give me an alibi?” Remus asked Sirius as he was picked up. He was so ready to strangle her by the end of the day.

“What did she do to you? I thought you were friends,” Sirius commented as they wound their hands together on the way to the parking lot.

“James caused a crisis that had started last night to deepen and get worse,” Remus informed him. “When neither of you came in for coffee Lily decided James didn’t like her anymore.” Sirius frowned at this.

“I had an emergency at the gallery. James came to help,” Sirius told Remus, Remus already knew this. Sirius had texted him that.

“Which I know because I was informed but it seems James could not be bothered to text Lily so she spent the time from when you two normally show up until when we left to point out that James hated her now,” Remus was feeling annoyed at Lily and James. They were both twats about this whole thing.

“I don’t think James knows how to hate. Strongly dislike perhaps but not hate. And on top of that, he could never hate Lily. That man is a simp for three things; his horrid little dog, plants, and a certain redhead.”

“We will not be telling Lily that James is simping over Marlene,” Remus teased and Sirius huffed at him giving him a hip check.

“Don’t be a brat,” Sirius chided as he pulled out his phone and texted James to contact Lily before she lost her mind. “There, solved it.”

“You underestimate Lily’s ability to take everything to extremes,” Remus responded darkly as they reached the bike. Sirius shrugged and clipped the helmet under Remus’ chin. He climbed on easily behind Sirius.

The trip to Remus’ was silent. He grabbed a clean set of clothes not noticing the envelope wedge itself just under a drawer. Then they were on their way to Sirius'. Bastet greeted them at the door with a happy chirp. Remus ran his fingers over her soft sweater. His phone chirped as Sirius inspected the groceries dropped off including many of the things Remus had asked for so he could teach Sirius the value of cooking simple at home.

{I Would Do It Again:} He has dinner with his parents almost every night isn’t that the sweetest thing ever?

{I Didn’t Do It:} You were mad at him not even two hours ago. Remus was going to get whiplash at her random mood swings or vomit at how cloyingly cute they were. Of course James had dinner with his parents nearly every night. Remus looked up just in time to see Sirius smack himself with a pan, James was probably just as inept.

{IWDIA:} Hush we’re not talking about that Lupin.

Remus sighed. “Why are you and Lily named like that?” Sirius asked, peaking over his shoulder.

“Our boss recently married his husband and there was an incident at the wedding involving a hom*ophobic uncle and a little bit of fire. I didn't do it, Lily would do it again,” Remus responded, lips tugging into a smile even as he remembered the moment when Lily managed to tip a candle onto the hem of that man’s pants.

He was sure Aberforth had known what had happened but hadn’t pursued it. Hagrid hadn’t even noticed anything amiss. They should be back from their honeymoon any day now. “Arson, a good start to any convict's CV,” Sirius mused. “I much prefer tying people up and setting them on fire, with permission of course.” Remus’ phone slid out of his grasp and hit the counter. Sirius had a sh*t-eating grin on his face. “Bet you’re wishing we walked all the way through that kink list now.”

Remus fumbled his phone again, this time dropping it on the floor. “Prat,” he muttered as he reached down to pick it up. Once he was sure he wouldn’t remove a finger he set about showing Sirius how to make one pot enchilada pasta, he left out the shredded chicken for his vegetarian boyfriend. “You know this teaching you to cook thing only works if you stick around for the lesson,” Remus informed him, slicing an avocado to go on top of the dish.

“I don’t have that kind of attention span,” Sirius informed him coming back over. He had a streak of green on his cheek. Remus decided not to enlighten him about this fact.

“I really fail to see how you have survived this point without withering away,” Remus informed him sitting at the counter.

“Copious amounts of nicotine, pot, and my devastating good looks,” Sirius informed him. He dropped the act after only a moment joining Remus at the counter. “Jamie keeps me alive and mum reminds me to do things like file taxes and make sure my property dues are all paid so I don’t lose the flat or the gallery.”

“Have you thought about what your lack of attention means?” Remus asked carefully. As someone who had struggled with mental health his whole life, he knew people could be averse to talking about it. It had taken ages to convince Lily that him thinking she had bipolar was not the same as him thinking she was crazy. The medication had helped her a lot.

“As a child in an affluent and very public family, they couldn’t have me acting out so I was evaluated. I have ADHD. When I was little my mother practically force-fed me my medication so naturally as soon as I was away at school I flushed it. Every winter and summer she would force me back on it,” Sirius commented, looking for the first time since Remus had known him, completely straight-faced. No humor or mirth touched him as he talked about his parents. “Once I figured out I liked art I hated going home. The medication just robbed me of all of that. When I left and stopped taking it I could paint properly.”

Remus knew many people were like that. He took medication to handle his lupus and he used to take a low-dose sleeping aid but it had started making him sleep twelve hours a day so his doctor had switched him to a muscle relaxant to take as needed. He also had an inhaler for the days when his asthma acted up. He knew without the medication his lupus would cause even more problems than it did now. “Do you think I’m crazy?” Sirius asked.

Remus realized he’d been quiet for too long. “No, I don’t think you're crazy. Medication isn’t for everyone and there is nothing wrong with admitting it didn’t work for you. I think mental health is complicated. As long as you have talked to your doctor and family it’s not my place to offer unsolicited or unwanted advice. I would rather you be happy and scattered than soulless and focused,” Remus informed him. He liked Sirius and the way he would randomly forget what he was doing. It was cute and he could tell Sirius just worked around his own brain.

“Mum wanted me to go back on them something about taking care of myself and everything but soon realized that on them I was depressed and…soulless is a good word. She let me quit,” Sirius admitted. Remus reached over and brushed some of his hair back.

“I am glad you figured it out,” Remus replied and kissed Sirius' cheek. The air was a bit heavy between them now. “Can I see your gallery sometime?” Remus asked, stabbing some pasta.

“Do you want to?” Sirius asked and Remus nodded.

“I mean you see me work nearly every day, it would be neat to see your workplace and what it is you do,” Remus pointed out.

“It’s boring, I walk around a large room and show rich people paintings with meanings deeper than their vain vapid little brains could ever comprehend,” Sirius snarked and Remus raised an eyebrow. “What, they are so annoying? The only fun part of my week aside from when I actually can dedicate time to my own art is when I teach. I have a regular class on Wednesday.”

“You teach people how to paint?” Remus asked, scooping more of the pasta into his bowl.

“I teach an art class for University credits, for the students not for me. We’re in our figure drawing unit right now. I swear some of them had never seen a naked person before,” Sirius commented, licking his spoon and reaching for the serving spoon. “I enjoy posing for them though.”

Remus choked on his bite at that. He had assumed Sirius was talking about a model or another student. He hadn’t realized the dark-haired man dropped trow in front of twenty-odd University students. “You model for them? Aren’t you supposed to wander around the room and… I don’t know, critique?”

“It does absolutely nothing for their technique to have the teacher breathing down their necks plus it’s harder for them to be scared of me when they have seen me naked. Also, I forgot the figure drawing was coming up so I didn’t hire anyone and then I remembered I have a body and no shame,” Sirius shrugged obviously seeing nothing wrong with this. “You should come by and model for us.”

“Haha in your dreams,” Remus deadpanned, standing up and taking his empty bowl to the sink to rinse it out.

“Actually yes, your nice body is often in my dreams,” Sirius informed him. He stepped up behind Remus and set his bowl in the sink. “Usually wearing very little clothing if any at all.” Lips brushed his neck as a hand rested briefly on his hip. Remus knew he was red and his breathing was shallow. He could smell Sirius' cologne and the faint lingering scent of tobacco. He turned toward Sirius and was rewarded with a warm mouth on his.

God Sirius was a good kisser. He dropped the bowl on the sink and turned to wrap his arms properly around Sirius. Hands slid over him and Sirius backed him up against the counter. Between Sirius' hands urging him up and his own strength he hauled himself onto the counter. This proved to be a mistake. He was too tall to sit on the counters, there were cabinets above the counters that he rammed his head into. Sirius tried not to laugh as Remus checked his head to make sure he wasn’t bleeding. “What are you giggling about? My head hurting is a valid reason for you not to get laid tonight?”

Sirius reeled him in and kissed his shoulder. “My boyfriend is too tall for me to make out with on the counters and I find that statement delicious and funny. It’s not often I date men tall enough that I can wear heels,” Sirius commented with giggles still shaking his voice. Remus wanted to be offended. He couldn’t be Sirius was laughing.

“Jerk,” Remus offered in response and Sirius shrugged.

“Come on, let's go to bed where I can grope you properly and maybe convince you to try something a bit naughty with me,” Sirius tugged on Remus’ arm.

“You go, I want to get leftovers put away and start the dishwasher,” Remus shook Sirius off. He got a sigh but Sirius made his way up the stairs to his bed. He could hear Sirius shuffling around but assumed he was getting ready for bed. He made his way upstairs after everything was sorted and found Sirius lounging on the bed in nothing but tight boxers.

Remus hesitated when Sirius' eyebrow went up and remembered the rules he had signed. Oh he was supposed to be naked. He felt a tad bit nervous of stripping so openly in such a bright lit area but tugged off his sweater anyway. Sirius' eyes never left him. He undid his belt and stepped out of his trousers. Soon his shirt joined the pile and he tugged off his pants.

When he was naked in front of Sirius he got a slow smile. “Such an attractive man,” Sirius spoke softly. “I was hoping you would let me try blindfolds and handcuffs tonight.” The words sent shivers down Remus’ spine but this is what had been agreed on. Sirius just had to give him the rundown of the night.

“I have work in the morning,” Remus reminded him and Sirius nodded.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Sirius promised. As discussed once he agreed with a plan he surrendered. He lowered his eyes from Sirius.

“I am willing to see if I like it, sir,” Remus responded. The sir came out a tiny bit snotty, Remus hadn’t intended it that way but it was impossible to repress completely. Sirius' response was quick. He stood up and his hand made a loud sound as it stung across an asscheek. Remus felt a tingle blossom there but his gasp was mostly from surprise.

“Don’t brat with me Moony,” Sirius' voice held a threat. “Lay on the bed.” Remus trembled slightly but made his way over to the bed and lay down. “Eyes closed,” Remus had to work to surrender so quickly. Now he knew what Sirius meant. Getting naked to enter the room had shifted the power dynamic and it was easier to surrender to him.

He closed his eyes. A soft piece of fabric slid over them and he felt warm hands adjusting the strap. “Comfortable,” Sirius asked, the question was genuine.

“Yeah,” Remus answered. He was asked if he could see anything, he couldn’t.

“Hands over your head,” Sirius' voice was still quiet but it was clear he was giving the orders and wouldn’t accept anything but a safeword or compliance. So with his heart thudding Remus reached over his head. Cool metal touched his skin and clicked shut. Something soft slid between his skin and the metal and he felt Sirius slide a finger between the soft and his skin. He warmed when he realized it was being checked for tightness. His hand was tugged and the chain slid through the slats to the bed. His other wrist was wrapped up in similar fashion.

“These are fur lined and designed for use in a long term situation but if they become uncomfortable or your hands fall asleep let me know and I’ll let you out,” Sirius adjusted his arms so he wasn’t straining his shoulders.

“Ok,” Remus answered and Sirius briefly touched his face. Remus felt the bed shift as Sirius stood up. He could hear the soft rustle of clothing and then the shifting of items nearby. He suppressed the urge to babble or ask questions. A moment later the bed dipped again. Remus expected fingers on his skin.

He jumped slightly when instead of fingers a light sensation traced over his arms. It was soft and slightly tickly. Gooseflesh broke out over his skin as swirling patterns were traced over his trapped arms. The softness brushed the side of his face before continuing on a path downward. It swirled around one nipple and then the other. Before Remus could start piecing together what might be tickling over his skin, it was removed.

A new sensation started over his trapped arms. This was sharp and a little prickly although not painful, just surprising after the soft sensation. It followed the same path down though thankfully did not trace his cheekbone.

It ran down his shoulder and over his collarbones. His skin was starting to flush as the prickly sensation also traced around his nipples and down over his stomach. Then it was removed. The soft sensation was back. Ok Remus could get behind a soft trace and then the prickly sensation.

Right as he was settling into the soft sensation and trying to figure out what it was, the prickly sensation started on his other arm. Both trailed down his arms at the same pace and over his shoulder before crossing over his clavicle. “You look unsure about whether or not you like it,” Sirius commented softly. His voice was so close and now thinking about it Remus could smell that wonderfully dark, spicy scent that lingered on Sirius.

“It’s odd,” Remus admitted. Sirius' answering chuckle was warm and inviting. Remus was leaning into it without permission. A hand fell on his shoulder holding him in place. He fell back and furrowed his brow.

“I like you in this position so you are going to stay in this position. Do you want something, baby?” Sirius asked. Remus huffed as the sensations washed over him again. Prickly and soft. It was causing his brain to shut off and go hazy.

“Wanna kiss? Please…” Remus murmured. Sirius' warm breath brushed over his cheek.

“You have to remember what you call me in these scenes,” Sirius responded. Warm breath washed over Remus’ face and he could have counted the breaths if he had two brain cells to string together.

“Siri,” Remus groaned. His brain was scattered and off. He could barely remember his own name, little alone what Sirius wanted to be called right now. He knew they had talked about it. He lit upon a nickname Sirius had told him about. “Padfoot, please kiss me?”

Sirius huffed a laugh but leaned down and kissed Remus. It was a delightful kiss and helped ground Remus a little bit. “I meant sir but if Padfoot is easier for you to remember you can call me that,” Sirius commented. The sensations were back tracing across Remus’ skin until he was panting and sweating.

His whole body trembled as Sirius continued to work him over. Occasionally a hand would trace over his skin but more often than not it was a soft tickling and a sharp prickling. Over his thighs and lower legs even the crease between his thigh and groin. He thought it might be over when Sirius carefully worked fingers into him. For a bit all he had to focus on was Sirius' fingers bringing him so much pleasure.

“f*ck, Padfoot, can I cum?” Remus panted and Sirius' fingers were removed.

“No,” Sirius answered simply and the sensations returned while Remus’ co*ck throbbed. He tugged on the cuffs once, stopping as a light slap to his inner thigh. He knew the rules. He settled back in. Once he was no longer teetering on the edge he felt Sirius' co*ck against him.

It felt amazing as he slid home. He was deliciously full and so close to overwhelmed as Sirius moved against him, those sensations of soft and sharp still tickling the edge of his senses. His brain was completely hazy as Sirius moved against him again and again drawing him higher and higher. “Cum for me, Moony,” was whispered against the heated skin of his ear and he came with a wordless shout.

*~*

Chapter 21: Red Sweater

Chapter Text

TW: Panic Attack

Remus settled into Sirius' arms tracing over the ink in random patterns. “What was it you were using on me?” he finally asked and Sirius shifted slightly, picking up two items from the small pile he had to put away.

“Paintbrush and a Wartenburg wheel,” Sirius ran the paintbrush over his neck and Remus scrunched his shoulder up. Sirius dropped it back on the pile and offered Remus the Wartenburg wheel. It was a little metal wheel with pins in it and a piece to go over the finger. He ran his hand lightly over it.

“Have you ever had it used on you?” Remus asked curiously and Sirius nodded offering an arm for Remus to run the small wheel over.

“I would never do anything to a person that I haven’t experienced. There are certain things I wouldn’t be willing to do again which is why I will never be upset with you for not wanting to do certain things more than once,” Sirius commented as Remus ran the wheel up his arm and over his shoulder.

Remus eventually took off the accessory and handed it back to Sirius. “Did you enjoy yourself?” Sirius asked, placing the wheel back in the pile. Remus nodded and got a huff from Sirius.

“If I hadn’t I would have told you,” Remus pointed out, propping himself up to look Sirius in the face. Sirius brushed back a strand of his hair. “I liked it. I liked that you let me call you Padfoot, it might be easier than sir.”

Sirius seemed to consider this. “If you prefer Padfoot I wouldn’t mind that being what you call me in scenes like that,” Sirius acquiesced and got a sweet kiss for his efforts. “Get some sleep, you have work in the morning.”

--

Sundays and Mondays always sucked. Remus opened with Grant on both days since Lily was off. He was feeling listless and completely unmotivated as Sunday wore on. He barely glanced up when the bell rang over the door. Sirius walked in sans James. “Funny I thought you and James were like attached at the hip,” Remus informed Sirius when he walked up to the counter.

“James is at his place. Half of the time he’s staring at the entirety of his wardrobe spread out over his bedroom and living room and the other half he’s wondering if he should give her a plant and if he gives her a plant which of his leafy babies is he willing to separate from. As much fun as it was to watch James have a total meltdown, I left him with Marlene to see my favorite Welsh boy,” Sirius gave Grant a finger wave.

Remus flushed and punished a couple of random buttons before passing a cup to Grant. He wasn’t entirely sure what he was serving Sirius. He just made sure it didn’t include peanuts. “If he abandons one of his plant children to Lily she will never speak to him again,” Remus blurted when he located his voice.

“Noted,” Sirius was all confidence as he pulled out his phone and texted James hopefully averting a disaster. “Grant, is it, can I steal Remus for a bit?” Sirius asked reading the nametag when his drink was handed to him.

Grant stammered and looked at Remus. Remus was in charge of him, not the other way around. Remus just waved him off and followed Sirius to the usual table. They sat down and Sirius took a sip. “What is this?”

Remus glanced at the label. “Cookie Crisp, matcha, espresso, and soy milk,” Remus interpreted. “I didn’t even know we had that combination in the computer, it might be the green tea chocolate chip thing that Lily recommended to Aberforth.” Sirius made a face and set it aside.

“I am going to have to be more precise when asking for my daily surprise,” Sirius griped and Remus shrugged. He had been telling Sirius that since the beginning. “So anyway I did come in with a purpose besides just the usual. I was going to ask if you would mind coming to see Mum and Dad tonight. She won’t leave me alone about you since James let it slip.”

Remus felt nerves settle into his stomach. Meet the parents? What on earth was he supposed to say? “Hi, I’m the guy who lets your son handcuff me to the bed,” that did not sound like a winning statement in any context. “Are you sure? I mean I’m not what people would want their son to be dating. I mean I’m just a poor bloke with no education…” Sirius leaned over the table and shushed Remus with a kiss.

“Mum and Dad have always wanted me to just be happy. While your education and sweater would make my mother want to send you to scrub the floors, Effie and Monty wouldn’t care if you were a purple alien with seven toes and gills,” Sirius informed him. Remus now stared at him like he had grown a second head.

“That’s not as reassuring as I think you wanted it to be,” Remus pointed out deadpan. Sirius reached over and took Remus’ hand in his own.

“You’re the first person I’ve wanted to take home to meet them… ever. Mum may have pestered me but I’ve been trying to think of a way to bring it up for ages,” Sirius' thumb was soothing across the back of his hand.

“We haven’t known each other for ages,” Remus reminded him, not looking away from those eyes. Mercury swirled and light played off the pretty silver. God Remus would never tire of the way Sirius looked at him.

“Are you sure because I feel like I have known you for ages, Remus,” Sirius intoned and Remus swallowed. That voice was the promise of heaven wrapped in the most tempting package he’d ever seen. Sirius was like the ultimate Christmas present, wonderful and beautiful right in plain sight but forbidden. “Please come meet my parents?”

“Unfair,” Remus breathed and Sirius smiled his cute smile like he knew exactly what Remus was talking about. “Ok.” Sirius' answering smile was brilliant and then the other was leaning over the table and kissing Remus. All of it was worth it for that smile and the kiss he was now receiving.

They parted shortly after that and Sirius picked up his drink again and took another sip. He seemed to consider it and took a longer drink. “Mmm… not bad kind of reminds me of the tea cookies mum makes in the spring with sun tea.”

They chatted for a bit longer until Remus went to help Grant at the counter. When his shift was finally over he let Grant go while he waited for his relief. Finally, Kylie and Mack made their way in. He counted out his till and got them set with a new one and made sure Kylie knew how to lock up. She was their new night lead and this would be her first fully trained closing shift.

Finally, he was free. He met Sirius outside. “We need to swing by my place to see if I have anything acceptable to wear to meet the parents,” Remus informed him as Sirius took his hand. He was still drinking the matcha drink Remus had punched in for him. The man had the weirdest taste.

“You don’t need to wear anything fancy,” Sirius informed him and Remus sighed.

“Perhaps not but I don’t think the threadbare jumper is the way to go,” Remus commented tugging on his fraying sweater. Sirius looked over at him.

“I would like to know your size so if you would like we could stop and grab a new jumper for you,” Sirius suggested cautiously. Remus wanted to immediately tell him off. They’d had this argument before. He paused mentally, however. Sirius wasn’t being condescending or trying to dress Remus a certain way. He was seeing something that made Remus self-conscious and was offering to help.

“You can come with me to look but I’m buying my own sweater,” Remus finally answered. Sirius sighed and pulled out the helmets.

“Silly, stubborn man,” Sirius informed him, placing the helmet on his head and clipping it into place. “Do you know how to drive?” Sirius asked out of the blue, his attention jumping as it normally did. Remus noticed he hadn’t been given an answer. He was going to have to confiscate Sirius' wallet.

“Sort of. My tad started to teach me but we didn’t have a lot of money growing up so I just let the skills lapse,” Remus shrugged. He could get around on public transit just fine. Sirius pulled on his own helmet and they climbed on the bike.

Sirius wound through the streets and Remus resisted the urge to fidget as they hit a part of town Remus was really out of place in. It wasn’t touristy but he could tell it was expensive. Sirius parked in a spot that Remus was fairly sure wasn’t a spot, it was between two cars that both had meters, and this spot didn’t have a meter.

He followed Sirius to a shop that had a nice display in the front or at least a display that showed mannequins dressed casually. Nice and expensive but casual. Not the type of shop Remus expected from his counterculture boyfriend. “Hold on,” he caught Sirius' wrist and pulled him back. Sirius came easily enough and Remus slipped a hand into his pocket.

“If you wanted in my pants all you had to do was ask,” Sirius informed him with a lecherous smile. Remus liberated the wallet with a triumphant smirk.

“You are cut off,” Remus jabbed, easily holding the wallet out of reach. “Short man, so cute.” He kissed Sirius' nose and got a huff. “You can have this back when class is over.” Remus tucked it into his own pocket and nudged Sirius into the store.

“If you think that is my only line of credit you are mistaken. My name alone can buy an entire wing of the British Museum,” Sirius muttered mutinously as they stepped in.

“Then go do that while I pick out a jumper that costs more than my rent,” Remus dismissed him. The shop was quiet with bland music playing. It was well-lit but not overly bright and smelled pleasant, not like the mild chemical smell he expected in businesses and shops.

Remus browsed the racks ignoring the shop people just as much as they ignored him. He knew he looked out of place. “I feel like Julie Roberts in Pretty Woman. I want to come back here with several bags and be like see this big mistake.”

“I don’t think I have ever seen that… movie,” Sirius hesitated over the last word as though guessing the type of media Remus was talking about. Remus looked up from his perusal of jumpers. All of them on this rack looked the same to him but the tags informed him there were four different colors of gray on this rack.

“We definitely need to watch that movie. It’s so good,” Remus moved to another rack. The blue here was too dull for his tastes. He finally found a green rack and started looking for something that didn’t make him look like a prep school burnout. Remus held up a sweater and Sirius made a wishy-washy motion with his hands. Remus agreed and placed it back on the rack.

He wasn’t really into any of the greens they had but he didn’t want another beige jumper. He was already ready to give up. He hated clothes shopping. Sirius held up a red one and Remus made his way over. “I can’t wear red, I’m too pale,” Remus protested.

“I think you would look very nice in red,” Sirius argued back. “Come on, it's the same style as the one you always wear when you’re cold. Just try it on… For me.” That was playing dirty. Remus took the hanger off of him and went to talk to the people at the back of the store.

“Can I have a fitting room please?” he tried to sound confident. He knew he fell far short of the mark. He watched her sharp eyes roam over him focusing on the worn-out state of his shoes, the ragged hems of his jeans, the hole slowly forming in the bottom of his bag, his jumper with several holes as the knit lines fell away from each other and finally back to his face.

“I’m sorry, sir,” the slightest contempt had his back coming up while her lips curled in a sneer, “I don’t think this is the store for you. Wouldn’t want that very expensive sweater to end mysteriously in your bag.”

Remus felt like he shrank under her gaze and was about to walk away when Sirius' arm came around his waist. “Are you finding everything to your liking darling?” Sirius asked and Remus glanced over. This was not the soft Siri who talked to Bastet or danced around like he was on speed anytime Freddy Mercury came on. This was the heir he had been groomed to be. He glanced at the sales lady and Remus could see her face had gone sheet white.

“Mr. Black…” she stammered. Sirius’s look of contempt could curdle blood. Remus felt cold from it and it wasn’t directed at him.

“Ah yes, make yourself useful. I would like a sparkling water, cold, and your manager,” Sirius' tone had slid from haughty to ice cold in between speaking to Remus and speaking to this woman. Remus would have felt bad for her if her contemptuous attitude hadn’t set his teeth on edge.

She scampered off. “Sirius,” Remus reprimanded.

“I won’t have people talking down to you,” Sirius told him.

“I won’t have you talking down to people,” Remus remarked. Sirius touched his face lightly.

“She accused you of being a thief. I won’t stand for it,” Sirius wouldn’t back down on this front. Remus felt awkward but also touched. Of course Sirius wasn’t going to stand by and let that happen.

The lady returned and offered Sirius a bottle. “Sorry it’s not cold, there were no more in the fridge,” she stammered. Sirius sighed as though deeply disappointed and set the bottle on the counter. Remus rolled his eyes, Sirius didn’t like bubbly water. A man stepped out in a sensible three-piece suit and stepped over to them.

“Mr. Black, how is everything today?” He was greeted with a firm handshake.

“It was going well. I was planning on purchasing a few items from the store today but when my partner asked for a fitting room your employee made some… unkind assumptions about him,” Sirius gestured to Remus. The man’s eyes did the same trip as the woman’s.

“Well, I am very sorry she offended you and Mr…” he trailed off expectantly.

“Lupin,” Remus supplied, his voice still far from confident. He just wished this was all over. Although he was feeling slightly giddy over Sirius calling him his partner.

“Right, Mr. Lupin. I will be taking over the service and would be willing to offer discounts to smooth over the offense,” his tone was smooth but it made Remus feel oily. Sirius glanced at him. Remus shrugged. He was feeling overwhelmed and uncomfortable but it seemed important to Sirius to prove a point.

Remus was led back to the fitting rooms and the manager picked up a tape measure. “Aside from some sweaters, are you in the market for anything else?” Remus was turned before he had processed what had happened and his shoulders were being measured, then his arms.

“Um…” Remus floundered. He stuffed his hands defensively in his pockets and felt the hole. “Jeans,” he guessed lamely. He was sat on a chair and his inseam was measured.

“Dark wash or light wash?” he was asked as his waist was measured. He answered dark. Relaxed or straight leg, what kind of cut and distressed or not?

“I don’t really care about all of that. No holes, deep pockets,” he finally answered, his head spinning.

“Of course Mr. Lupin. I will be right back with some jeans and belts,” Remus was left alone with the red sweater hanging nearby. He immediately dug into his bag and pulled out his inhaler. Two puffs later he could feel his lungs clearing.

He sat back down on the chair and looked at his reflection in the mirror. He was so out of place here. Even the chair was more than his whole apartment. He reached forward and slid his fingers along the sweater, warm and soft. He plucked at the tag and clutched his inhaler tighter as his head spun.

He was taking another puff when the man returned with several more hangers, sweaters, a few shirts, and many pairs of jeans. “Try on what you would like. Anything you would like to buy please hang here. Anything you are not pleased with you may leave on the rack. Mr. Black would like to come back,” Remus swore in a different time this man would have bowed. He indicated that Sirius could come back.

Sirius stepped back and took in Remus’ tense posture in the chair and his inhaler. “You ok?” Sirius asked carefully, offering a hand to Remus. Remus slid his hand into Sirius' and placed his other hand on his chest matching his breathing. It was a trick his mam had taught him.

“Not really, I just wanted a sweater,” Remus commented. Sirius glanced over at the rack and picked up the red sweater. He helped Remus stand and peeled off the ragged jumper he was wearing. Sirius tugged the red one onto him. He stuck his arms through the sleeves. No holes and it was so thick and warm. Remus never wanted to take it off. He didn’t usually like new clothes. He usually had to wear and wash something many times before he truly loved it.

This was slightly baggy which all the best sweaters were but not so much that it looked sloppy, just comfy. “Do you like it?” Sirius asked. Remus ran his fingers over the cable knit on the front and smiled.

“The color doesn’t make me look pasty?” Remus asked and Sirius shook his head. He stepped out of the way so Remus could see his reflection.

“Brings out the pink in your skin and makes the blonde in your hair more pronounced,” Sirius commented. Warm arms slid around him and he felt at peace.

“I do like this sweater,” Remus pronounced and turned his head to kiss Sirius.

“Me too,” Sirius agreed. This was how Sirius walked him through the rest of the clothes and Remus found it wasn’t horrible.

*~*

Chapter 22: Underpants

Chapter Text

Remus tried not to fidget as he stared down at the new choices on the bed. He was wrapped in a towel fresh from the shower. He could hear Sirius talking to Bastet as Remus considered his options. This was another reason he didn’t buy new clothes. With no selection, he was never left wondering what to wear.

He could feel his breathing creeping up again. Then soft hands were on his shoulders. “You doing ok up here?” Sirius asked. One hand stayed on his shoulder and the other pressed his inhaler into his hand. Remus leaned back into him gratefully.

“What if they hate me? What if they say you shouldn’t see me anymore?” Remus asked, his breathing was evening out again without the chemical intervention. Sirius was pure magic.

“Not going to happen. I lo… Like you, they will too,” Sirius stumbled over a word but Remus was too preoccupied to notice. “Start simple, most of the pants are the same.” Sirius collected a pair of jeans. “Now do you want to wear the red sweater or the brown one?”

“Red,” Remus answered immediately. Sirius picked up the red sweater and then the cream-colored shirt.

“See easy.” Sirius moved the rest of the clothes off the bed. Remus wasn’t convinced it was that easy but he would take the win tonight mostly because it did match. Sirius set a small bag in front of him.

“I took away your credit card,” Remus protested and Sirius just gave him a sh*t-eating grin.

“I have a store line of credit,” Sirius responded and Remus groaned. “Come on, open it. I know we’re likely to argue.”

“Why give me something you know is going to cause a fight? I’m pretty sure that’s abusive like gas-lighting or something,” Remus commented, picking up the small bag and reaching into it. The lace was soft against his fingers.

“Gaslighting would be making you think you were going crazy. Trying to start a fight might be seen as eristic. People who like to argue are eristic,” Sirius told him. Remus dropped the item he just retrieved as his face turned red. “I don’t want to argue and that might be the wrong word. It is likely to inspire a passionate discussion in which you call me some variation of pervert with way too much money and I inspire you to think with your dick.”

Remus gaped at him. “Have you lost your goddamn mind?” Remus demanded. Sirius shrugged. “I am not wearing that to dinner with your parents.” Remus hissed as though he thought the aforementioned parents would be able to hear them all the way across town.

“I’m sorry I must have missed the etiquette lesson that said we show underpants to parents,” Sirius' tone was neutral. Remus wanted to smack him. That was rude. “How is this any different than any other underwear you are planning on wearing?”

“It’s lacy and see-through,” Remus protested. Sirius just stared at him.

“Again, is there something I am missing? Are you planning on showing my parents your underpants? Is this some weird Welsh tradition? I know about the one involving no underpants under a kilt but I didn't know any about showing off underpants,” Sirius commented. Remus was so ready to lose his mind. Sirius was infuriating. “You’re wearing something that you and I will know about that is all. It’ll be titillating and a bit naughty.” Sirius paused. “If you don’t want to, I won't make you.”

“Would you wear something like this?” Remus asked. Even just holding them up made his cheeks flame.

“I told you Rem I would never ask you to do something I haven’t done myself,” Sirius lifted his waistband from his skin flashing a strip of lace at him. “You have permission to get dressed in the bedroom. I’ll see you downstairs. We should leave in about twenty minutes, I wanna grab a smoke.”

Remus was rooted to the floor, the idea of Sirius wearing lacy panties was an intriguing one. He looked at the article of clothing in his hand. Finally, he caved. He was a twenty-five-year-old man, if he wanted to tease his boyfriend with lacy panties he would. He pulled them on. They had weird straps on the side instead of fabric and he spent a minute adjusting everything and getting them to lay flat. The lace quickly took on his body heat but there was no sweat. The fabric was lovely and soft. He would never admit they were more comfortable then his normal briefs.

He tugged on the rest of the clothes quickly and grabbed his wallet tucking it into the blessedly holeless pockets. He made his way down the stairs and plucked his phone off the charger. “Are we taking the bike or the car?” Remus asked. It determined if he brought a comb.

“Bike,” Sirius answered, stubbing out his cigarette and closing the window much to Bastet’s dismay. Remus placed his comb in his bag. “Are you wearing them?”

“Oh, I thought sharing our underpants wasn’t part of the evening,” Remus easily evaded Sirius' grasp pouring some water into Bastet’s fountain. Sirius caught him when he was returning the pitcher to the fridge. “Hey!” The protest dropped off as his hands were pinned over his head and Sirius' mouth was on his neck. “Unhand me.”

“No,” Sirius' tone was playful and a little dark. Remus didn’t fight, in all honesty, he didn’t want to. Sirius didn’t play fair. A hand slid between his body and the pants. It slid over his bum tracing the lace and Sirius hummed, pleased. “Bet your bum and pretty dick look so delicious wrapped in lace.”

Remus felt his face flame but it was delightful. Sirius released him and they exchanged a long kiss. “Thank you,” Sirius murmured as they parted. “You’re the first person I have trusted enough to ask to wear something like that.”

That made Remus feel a bit bad for how he had responded but he was wearing them now, that was all that mattered. He wanted to see Sirius’ bum and co*ck wrapped up in lace. Maybe later Sirius would let him taste it. He flushed at his own thoughts as he followed Sirius down to the bike. It was going to be a long night.

--

“Stop fidgeting, you look lovely,” Sirius commented as they stepped off the bike.

“Biased,” Remus pointed out using the comb and the wing mirror to fix his hair. Sirius shot him a look before taking his hand and leading him to the door. He let himself into the comfortable house. It was a nice house but not obnoxiously huge. The land surrounding it was beautiful.

They stepped into a large entryway. The smell hit Remus right away, it was a heavy spicy scent. It smelled amazing, the kind of food Remus never had the guts to try. The house had a warm feel to it. He felt instantly welcomed. When Sirius indicated he took off his shoes. They left them by the front door as they made their way through the house.

“Mum,” Sirius greeted when they stepped into the kitchen. A woman who looked like James turned to Sirius with a bright smile on her face.

“Siri,” she greeted. Her voice was richly accented and her dark eyes held such warmth. Sirius seemed much less unattainable as he hugged the woman. He was just a dude greeting his mum. She examined his face for a moment. “You and Jamie are far too skinny,” she scolded.

“Well, you’re not the only one who thinks so. This is Remus, determined to make me cook and look after myself,” Sirius gestured to Remus, who immediately went red at the description. “Remus this delightful nag is my mum, Euphemia.”

“Nice to meet you, Mrs. Potter,” Remus greeted politely, extending a hand despite his red face. Sirius snorted but held his tongue when she swatted him with a towel.

“He’s too skinny too,” Euphemia informed Sirius but went over to Remus. “Don’t call me Euphemia or Mrs. Potter, I’ll remind Siri that I hate both of those names later,” she menacingly cracked a wooden spoon on her hand. Sirius rolled his eyes with an easy grin. “I’m Effie.”

“I’m working on it,” Sirius protested and she tutted at him.

“What unfortunate thing happened to make you want to date my son?” she asked and Remus held back a laugh at Sirius' indignant, “Hey.”

“Some form of childhood trauma manifesting as bad decisions,” Remus returned. Euphemia laughed as Sirius protested again.

“Good man. He’s funny,” Euphemia informed Sirius warmly. She briefly touched Remus’ shoulder. Her eyes traced the heavy scarring on his face but she didn’t ask. She moved back toward the stove and the heavy smell of spice intensified as she checked the food.

“Where’s da?” Sirius asked and Euphemia made an exasperated noise.

“If you find that infuriating man, you tell me,” she responded. Sirius held out a hand to Remus. Remus immediately wound his hand in Sirius' and allowed himself to be led out of the way. “Rude,” he informed Remus as soon as they left the kitchen.

“She started it,” Remus pointed out. Sirius huffed.

“You didn’t have to participate. We’re dating you’re supposed to be on my side,” Sirius grieved rather dramatically.

“That is nowhere in any agreement and you already like me. I have to get on your parents’ good side,” Remus shared. Sirius scowled but didn’t argue any further. They made their way outside and Sirius looped around the house to a detached garage.

The garage was dark but clean and organized. “Mum is ready to kill you,” Sirius said by way of greeting. There was a low thud and a curse, Sirius followed the sound and they found a man rubbing the top of his head as he straightened from inside the car he had the hood open on.

“She only has to come around, it’s not like I get far,” the man answered, reaching for a cane and leaning on it as he fully disengaged from the car.

“She doesn’t like your workshop,” Sirius reminded the man leaning in to hug him carefully. Remus could see the concern on Sirius' features.

“Yes, all good until I fall and die,” he answered, releasing Sirius. He turned toward Remus. “Ah, you must be the young man Jamie keeps teasing Siri about. I’m Monty.”

“Remus,” he answered already adoring the easy affection in this family. It reminded him of his mam, when she had been alive, and his tad, when Lyall was having a good day.

“Can one person in my life not embarrass me?” Sirius asked as Fleamont took Remus’ hand. He had a firm shake, his hand was dry and calloused.

“Absolutely not,” Fleamont answered and clapped Sirius on the shoulder. “Come along, let's see if the wife has food.”

“Call her ‘the wife’ to her face, I dare you,” Sirius quipped, automatically offering Fleamont a steadying arm.

“No thanks, I prefer life,” Fleamont answered. They kept a slow pace back into the house and Fleamont stepped off to freshen up.

“Wanna see my old room?” Sirius asked when his hand found Remus’ again.

“I can’t tell if this is an offer to share your wayward youth with me or a proposition?” Remus answered, enjoying the warm hand in his. It helped dispel nerves.

“Could be a proposition, I could be thinking of how it would be to kiss you in my old bed until we’re both hard and then go sit through dinner,” Sirius answered. Just the suggestion had Remus’ blood flowing a bit faster and his face warmed.

“Why would you want to do that?” Remus asked not fighting as Sirius led him through the house.

“Anticipation, sweet boy,” Sirius responded, his voice smooth as silk. Remus swallowed as a shiver ran up his spine. Sirius opened a door and leaned against it allowing Remus to enter or not. His eyes held a dare, a dare Remus took. He stepped into the room.

It had the slightest feel of disuse, as though it wasn’t lived in and very rarely aired out. It was easy to see a teenaged Sirius occupying this space. The walls were plastered with pictures of bands and counterculture icons as well as a few men and women in skimpy clothes. Sketches and art supplies covered the desk and had spilled over onto a set of plastic drawers set up right next to it. The bed was nicely made and huge, similar to the bed at the flat but with bright blue sheets and a duvet. Music also dominated the space filling the bookcase interspersed with only the occasional book.

Remus moved to the large bay window. It looked over the front garden and long driveway that led back to the main road, there was a nice comfy window seat set into the window. A book sat discarded here with a hastily scribbled sketch marking a long-forgotten place in the book. “At least you don’t dog ear your pages,” Remus commented flipping idly through the book.

“I may not read very often but even I know that’s a sin,” Sirius commented. Remus could hear the latch of the door in the quiet of the room and the click of a lock. He didn’t turn to face Sirius, keeping his eyes focused out of the window in front of him. The sun had almost completely set, the dark blue in the middle of the sky was starting to wash away the bright oranges and reds of the sunset.

Sirius’s arms came around Remus and he pulled the blinds closed over the bay window. Then his hand slid over Remus’ shoulders and up into his hair. Remus gasped when the fingers tightened and tugged his hair back. He felt Sirius kissing over his neck. “Please don’t leave a visible hickey that I didn’t have when we disappeared,” Remus’ voice was soft, his body relaxed against Sirius, his hands fisted against Sirius' thighs.

He felt Sirius hesitate then his lips continued soft against Remus’ neck. “Of course I won’t mark you if you don’t want it,” Sirius responded. Remus did want it just not in front of the parents.

“I like when you mark me, Sirius. I just don’t want it in front of your parents… I mean disappearing to your room is already a bit… unseemly,” Remus corrected. He felt the soft huff and Sirius kissed behind his ear.

“I’ll mark you later,” Sirius promised. Before Remus could respond he was picked up and dumped on the bed.

“I’m taller than you, you shouldn’t be able to manhandle me like that,” Remus grumbled even as he was pinned to the bed.

“You may be taller, but I am stronger,” Sirius responded, sliding a hand under Remus’s shirt. Remus didn’t argue with that as Sirius' legs pressed between his parting his thighs. He was already so hard and hot.

Sirius' hips came to rest against his and he rocked against him. A long-fingered hand found a nipple and lightly tugged. Remus gave a low gasp. He could feel the texture of the lace against his co*ck, it was less comfortable than it had been when he had put them on. He knew why, he was hard now.

He could feel Sirius' hard length rub against his own. His lips were caught right before Sirius twisted the nipple. Remus was grateful for the dominating kiss and the quick way Sirius pressed his tongue in. It stifled most of the noise. “I am f*cking in love with your chest,” Sirius' hand released his wrists. Now both hands were under his shirt and Sirius groped both of his pecs.

“I’m in love with your ass,” Remus commented, his own hands sliding down and into Sirius' trousers. He gripped the small globes much the same way Sirius was squeezing his pecs. His fingers pressed into the crease.

“Might have to sit on your pretty dick later,” Sirius commented and kissed Remus before he could respond. Remus felt his co*ck twitch at the thought of that. He liked Sirius in him, he liked the way it made him feel but he also knew he would like being buried in him. He had never really dated a versatile man before.

Their tongues tangled and Remus braced his feet on the bed so he could move with Sirius. Their hips rolled together, adding a delicious amount of friction to each of their lengths. Remus kept one hand on that ass feeling the perfect cheek in his hand and the rough texture of the lace. His other slid up Sirius' back and into the dark mess of hair. He brushed it back so he could admire Sirius' face. His grey eyes were nearly black with desire. That desire threatened to consume Remus, to burn him up. He had a pink flush on his pale face.

Sirius leaned back in and kissed Remus. They kissed like they were suffocating and the other was air. Sirius gave a small whimper when he rolled in a specific way and bit down on Remus’ bottom lip. In surprise more than anything his hand tightened in the dark hair. It was a small tug but it made Sirius' breath catch. “Don’t tempt me Moony. I might not want to stop,” Sirius breathed. His eyes were downright predatory when they opened again.

“I always want you to keep going,” Remus sighed and Sirius' hands slid from his chest to his hips stilling his movements. Remus released him and Sirius rolled to lay next to him. They both lay staring at the ceiling for several long moments. “Anticipation right?” he asked and Sirius chuckled.

“That’s the idea,” Sirius agreed. He rolled over so he was leaning on his elbow over Remus. “I want to f*cking ravage you though. God that tug was exquisite.” Laying under Sirius like this Remus once again felt deliciously and wonderfully contained and claimed.

“It was an accident,” Remus confessed and Sirius touched Remus’ bottom lip. “I was surprised by you biting me.”

“I didn’t hurt you did I ?” Sirius asked, his soft fingers moving from Remus’ mouth to his cheek. Remus shook his head. “It felt so good I had to channel my aggression, I didn’t want to mark you accidentally.”

Remus gave Sirius a grateful smile. “Thank you.” Sirius leaned in and briefly touched their lips together again.

“Let’s go eat dinner so I can get you back to my place and out of these clothes,” Sirius sat up and stood up. He stopped briefly by a mirror to comb through his hair and smooth it out.

*~*

Chapter 23: Shrimp Tikka Masala

Chapter Text

“I gained a husband and lost a son and a guest,” Euphemia commented when Remus and Sirius returned to the kitchen. Remus flushed but Sirius shrugged.

“Sounds like you have a security problem. Told you mum that room is absurdly easy to sneak out of. Who puts teenage boys in ground floor rooms?” Sirius asked retrieving a few mugs from the cabinet and pouring a mug of tea for himself and one for Remus.

The tea was a pretty milky tan. Remus could smell the heavy spice load but it had milk which should balance that out. He took a sip and promptly set it down, he was wrong. Now he knew why he stuck to Earl Grey or black tea. He could tell all the spices worked together and it was a nice tea but too much for him.

Sirius drank it easily. “Someone who trusts her children,” Euphemia responded with a long, suffering sigh. “I am aware of how crazy that was. At least tell me you and James slept in your beds once,” she asked and Sirius considered. Fleamont was smiling at the interaction and chuckled when Euphemia rapped Sirius' knuckles with a wooden spoon.

“We honestly stayed in our rooms most nights. We didn’t need to go anywhere, our best friend was right there. We snuck out occasionally but that was mostly when one of us was grounded. Usually, we just told you guys where we were going. It’s hard to be sneaky when your parental figures don’t care as long as you’re safe,” Sirius commented hip checking the woman.

“You both wore condoms, no one ended up pregnant, you never drove drunk and I knew where my kids were most nights. I would say I won as a parent,” Euphemia pointed out. Fleamont stood from the table and made his way over to the cabinet.

"How can I get a girl knocked up? I never even slept with one. I made out with Marlene once but as far as I remember that's not how babies are made," Sirius commented and Euphemia tutted at him.

“Can I help?” Remus asked when Fleamont began to pull out plates.

“Oh thank you,” Fleamont let Remus take over setting the table. Remus was glad he was able to help as Fleamont carefully took a seat at the table again with a wince. Remus laid out the plates and with a little guidance from the other man retrieved silverware and glassware.

He had just finished setting up the table when a warm hand between his shoulders alerted him to the presence of Euphemia. She set a large pot in the middle of the table on a pot warmer. It was a lovely rust color and Remus could see the shrimp. It was dotted with fresh cream and some sort of green herb. White rice was placed on the table as well.

He held his reservations back and settled at the table. Sirius had collected a bottle of coconut water from the fridge and was filling glasses as Euphemia took a seat next to Fleamont. “Siri won’t shut up about you. Must be something special, he hasn’t brought someone home since University,” Fleamont commented as the food was passed around. Remus glanced over at Sirius who was studiously piling rice onto his plate.

“Thanks, da, that story makes me look really cool,” Sirius responded, passing the rice to Remus. It was endearing to see Sirius flustered for once.

“We’re not here to make you look cool. We’re here to love you,” Euphemia corrected, pulling Sirius in to squash his face next to her’s.

“Mum come on,” he protested and she ruffled his hair. Sirius sat back in his chair and smoothed his hair with a glare at both his parents.

“He hasn’t mentioned what you do for a living, however. Did you two meet at the gallery?” Fleamont asked once his wife was done smashing all aspirations Sirius ever had about being cool.

“No, Sirius problematically objectified me while I served him coffee,” Remus concluded. He spooned some of the soupy red mixture onto his rice. It made him nervous, he wasn’t a big spice person.

“Apparently I am bad at flirting,” Sirius commented with a shrug while taking a bite of the food.

“Sirius, you should not flirt with people at work. He could have been flirting with you to save his job,” Euphemia scolded.

“I was not flirting at all,” Remus clarified. “Until he left his number. I think it was flirting at that point. I don’t know. I am friends with the queen of sarcasm.”

“Some of it felt like pointed and well-earned snark,” Sirius answered. His foot nudged Remus’ and immediately curled around his calf possessively. Remus had never played footsie before. Is that what this was? It didn’t feel like he was supposed to respond, just like Sirius wanted physical contact and this was the most appropriate way he could think of.

Remus shrugged and took a bite of his own food. He was sure it was delightful but the spices immediately hit the back of his throat and he pushed back from the table to cough. It took a moment for his throat to clear enough to breathe. He stayed where he was, his tongue on fire. “If he dies, where will we hide the body?” he came back to reality as Fleamont asked. A scandalized sound from Euphemia had Remus smiling as he determined he was not about to have an asthma attack. That would have been the perfect insult, to have an asthma attack because of spice.

Three concerned faces greeted him when he looked back up. “Siri you should have warned us about the poor boy,” Euphemia chastised, removing Remus’ plate as he carefully scooted back to the table. Remus picked up the coconut water, it was surprisingly good at dousing the flames coating the inside of his mouth.

“I told you I met a cute Welsh boy and you make him Shrimp Tikka Masala. Sorry Mum, I think this one is on you,” Sirius commented. She gave him a pointed look and set a clean plate in front of Remus adding a piece of butter naan to it.

“We have some shahi paneer in the fridge. It’s very mild, I’ll warm some up for you,” she moved to the fridge.

“You don’t have to make a fuss for me,” Remus disagreed. He could eat rice and bread, it didn't faze him. He didn’t state this aloud. Euphemia clucked her tongue.

“Just accept the fact that you will not be allowed to leave here without being rolled out. Mum feeds everyone to bursting,” Sirius informed him. The microwave beeped and a bowl was being set in front of Remus.

“No more near-death experiences,” Euphemia warned everyone. This looked odd and Remus was a bit cautious but it was mild and nutty and the cheese was nice. He could easily eat this. Conversation stayed light over dinner and dessert.

Remus joined Sirius when he went to smoke on the deck. Sirius offered him a cigarette. “First your mum tries to kill me with spices and now you with cigarettes. You smoke your lung cancer, I’m going to stand over here with my inhaler,” Remus retorted. Sirius lit up and let out a slow breath.

“They like you,” Sirius informed him once all the smoke was exhaled. Remus glanced back at the two other adults in the kitchen. Fleamont was obviously being amusing, Euphemia was watching him with her head co*cked to the side and a fond smile on her face. It was the same expression Sirius wore every time Remus did something unexpected in the kitchen.

“I like them too,” Remus pulled himself up to sit on the railing. “Effie was sweet to get me something else when the shrimp was too much.”

“Should have said something when I noticed you didn’t really drink the tea. I forget how overwhelming it can be. I spent a lot of my summers and other holidays here when I was younger. I actually hated going home because our old servant didn’t know how to use any spice, not excluding salt.” Sirius took his hand, and Remus shifted as close as he felt comfortable getting.

“I like cooking but I have never had Indian food really. I order mild curry,” Remus leaned against Sirius' shoulder.

Sirius wrapped an arm around Remus and put out his cigarette before pulling him as close as he could. “Can I kiss you with smoke on my breath?” Sirius asked, stroking Remus’ hair back. Remus nodded and closed the distance between them himself. Sirius' fingers slid through his hair.

“Thank you for inviting me,” Remus spoke softly when they pulled apart. Sirius brushed a gentle hand over his cheek.

“Thank you for coming,” Sirius responded. They stayed out on the deck for only a short time longer. “We should head out, Remus has work in the morning.”

“Oh of course,” Euphemia stood up from the table and hugged Sirius tightly. “Come to dinner more often, ok?” she suggested. Sirius gave her a fond smile and moved to hug Fleamont to make it so he didn’t have to stand.

“Thank you for dinner. It was lovely to meet you,” Remus told her. She smiled and offered him a hug as well. He felt a little awkward as he hugged her but it was a lovely hug. Mums just had magic hugs. She didn’t hold back on the warmth or magic, it seemed Remus making Sirius happy was enough for her to like him. He also shared a brief hug with Fleamont.

The night air was cold and Remus was glad when they pulled into the parking lot. He climbed off the bike and rubbed his hands together as they moved to the elevator. “I’ll get you a set of gloves to wear when it’s chilly out,” Sirius commented.

“Or, and hear me out, you could start taking the car,” Remus pointed out. They climbed into the elevator and Sirius took Remus’ cold hands in his own.

“My bad boy persona would never recover,” Sirius held Remus’ cold hands between his own rubbing and blowing warm air over them. Remus let him carry on until they reached the flat. He made his way over to the cabinets and started rifling through teabags. Sirius put on the kettle.

“You remembered to put water in that right?” Remus asked. He heard Sirius huff and then the sink turned on. He smirked at the tea. Sirius was so hopeless sometimes. The kettle was set back on the stove and Sirius turned on the burner. “What kind of tea do you want?” Remus asked when Sirius set two mugs down next to him.

He placed an Earl Grey teabag in one and glanced over at Sirius. “Whatever,” Sirius shrugged and Remus gave him a look. He picked up green tea.

“You give me a sh*t answer I give you sh*t tea,” Remus threatened not actually opening the packet. Sirius grumbled but reached around him and picked up a black tea.

“Brat,” Sirius kissed his cheek as he picked up his own mug and made his way back over to the stove.

“I don’t understand why you couldn’t have just said black tea,” Remus pointed out, stacking the unused packets back into the little basket and placing that in the cupboard. Sirius poured the water into both of their mugs and shrugged again as he retrieved the milk.

“I’m an indecisive asshole who is apparently bound and determined to give you an aneurysm,” Sirius informed him. Remus wrapped his hands around the mug enjoying the warmth. “I don’t know. I know what I want but when someone, namely you asks me to make a decision my brain spins out. I knew I wanted black tea but when you asked I was like do I really want black tea? Maybe I want Earl Grey or Rooibos tea. Maybe I want to get my loose leaf down and make more chai.”

Remus felt his brows furrow as he watched Sirius add milk to his tea. “I couldn’t function like that. I know what I am having for breakfast tomorrow,” Remus pointed out. He made decisions as far in advance as he could. “Poached eggs and wheat toast,” he elaborated when Sirius glanced at him with an obvious question on his face.

“I can’t do that,” Sirius responded, prodding his teabag with a spoon. Remus sipped his own tea.

“You do though. You tell me what you want me to do,” Remus continued. Sirius' grey eyes focused on him and Remus gave him an innocent smile. “So you must decide what you want from me at that moment. Instead of wondering what could be different, you could just look at it like you look at bossing me around. All is going to end in something good.”

Sirius held his gaze, his eyes darkening as they trailed over Remus’ body. Remus flushed but didn’t move. “Speaking of which I want a nice look at those panties, take off your clothes,” Sirius’s tone left no doubt, this was an order. Remus set down his mug.

He felt nervous and a little weird about doing this in the kitchen but tugged off the red sweater he was wearing. The long-sleeved shirt followed and finally, his trousers were tugged off. He picked up the mug when he was down to the panties, like it was an everyday occurrence. He was aware of his co*ck hardening and the way his skin prickled.

“This trying to be nonchalant is very sexy,” Sirius sounded like he was about to throw Remus over the nearest surface and eat him.

“I don’t know what you are talking about. I am drinking my tea,” Remus commented as though he didn’t know how red his face was. There was a light clink as the mug was set down and then warm hands were tracing over his arm.

“Wanna know what we’re going to do tonight?” Sirius asked, his breath over Remus’ ear and neck had him shivering. He kept his eyes focused on the murky liquid in his cup, not sure if he was allowed to look at Sirius at the moment.

“If you want to tell me,” Remus responded, allowing his control to slip away. He liked surrendering to Sirius. It was a bit frightening but always lovely. Sirius' lips brushed his ear and then his neck. Remus automatically tipped his head. The mug was removed from his hands but he barely noticed. Sirius' mouth was sucking a mark into his shoulder right where his shirt would hide it the next day.

“I am thinking you can kneel for me and suck me while you edge yourself until we are both so pent up we can’t think then I am going to tie you to the bed and ride you until I can’t move,” Sirius suggested. Remus couldn’t help it. His eyes flickered up to meet Sirius'. A hand in his hair told him the infraction was noticed. “Eyeline Moony.”

“Sorry… sir,” the word slipped out almost automatically. The hand eased and he was pulled in for a kiss. The hand stayed in his hair as Sirius led him to the couch. He sat down and gestured for Remus to kneel in front of him. “I can have trouble with my joints freezing in one place for long periods of time.” Remus felt this was important to share with Sirius.

A gentle touch to his cheek had him looking up at Sirius. “If you need to shift off your knees or even to a different spot, just let me know,” Sirius' care for him was lovely. Remus nodded and lowered his eyes back to the jean-covered knees in front of him.

“I want you to ask for everything tonight including the thing I want your mouth on,” Sirius continued sitting back on the couch. Remus let his brain run through the connotations for a moment. It took another moment to push through the embarrassment.

“Can I… suck on you?” Remus asked his cheeks felt like they were on fire.

“Very close baby. There’s an article of clothing you should ask about first,” Sirius commented. Remus shifted placing his hand on a jean-clad knee as he did so.

“Will you take off your jeans… please,” Remus asked when Sirius tutted at him lightly.

“This time yes, in future I would prefer for you to ask to take them off,” Sirius responded shifting so he could remove the offending garment. The lacy panties looked even better on Sirius than they did on Remus. Hugging his soft form and straining over the hard erection. Remus swallowed as all thought threatened to run out of his head.

“Can I suck on your co*ck please sir?” he asked, not even caring about how filthy it sounded coming out of his mouth. He wanted to have that organ in his mouth.

“Such a sweet boy,” Sirius pulled the lace down far enough for his co*ck to pop out. “While you suck I want you to stroke yourself. Over the panties for now. I will tell you when you can pull your co*ck out and you are not allowed to cum… or stop.” Remus shivered, his hand falling on his own hard co*ck.

“Yes, sir,” he breathed as a hand urged him to take Sirius in his mouth. He shifted as close as he could get and worked to set up a pace. He bobbed his head, taking Sirius as deep as he could without gagging. He worked his hand over the lace at the same pace. It felt f*cking amazing.

He slowed his hand and head every time he felt like he might be getting too close. After the third time, a hand fell on the back of his head. “I can’t tell if the tease is on purpose or not but I don’t like a tease Remus,” Sirius commented and that was all the warning he got before he was pressed down the full length of the co*ck.

His air was cut and his eyes watered but he didn’t struggle. Sirius let up after a moment. He was pulled off completely. “Can I f*ck your face?” Sirius asked when Remus shifted back to take the co*ck back in his mouth. Remus paused and considered this.

“What if I need up because of my asthma?” Remus asked. Sirius glanced toward the door where Remus’ bag was hanging with his inhaler clipped to it. He stood and made his way over to the bag. He set the inhaler on the table nearby and sat back down.

“Just tap twice if you want up for any reason,” Sirius demonstrated. “This is the signal for any time you’re unable to talk.” Remus nodded and repeated the signal.

“We can try it,” Remus agreed.

“Don’t forget to keep stroking yourself, pretty boy. You’re in for a rough and long ride tonight,” Sirius promised. His voice sounded like silk and sex all wrapped up. Remus felt his co*ck throb at the promise. A rough ride with Sirius sounded f*cking spectacular.

His hand closed back around his co*ck as Sirius' fingers wrapped in his hair. As the co*ck slid into his mouth and hit the back of his throat Remus knew he was sunk. Surrendering to Sirius was too good. He closed his eyes and let the beautiful haze of subspace steal over his senses.

*~*

Chapter 24: Don't Stop

Chapter Text

The feeling of Sirius using him to pursue his own pleasure was strangely gratifying. Every time his breathing was cut his co*ck throbbed. Sirius was still careful with him, seeming to recognize that cutting the air of an asthmatic was not the way to a fun evening. Every few thrusts he would pull out, almost completely to let Remus’ breathing even out.

Remus also realized the pullback was Sirius getting himself back under control. He felt himself get close and slowed his hand. When Sirius gave a particularly deep thrust he had to stop for a moment and squeeze tightly to avoid losing it. “You were not permitted to stop,” Sirius pulled back from Remus’ mouth completely. Remus’s eyes trailed up but stopped just short of Sirius' face remembering the eyeline rule.

“Didn’t want to cum without permission,” Remus managed. A soft hand touched his cheek.

“I have faith in your abilities and you were told to do something. I expect your compliance,” Sirius informed him. Remus swallowed as lips brushed his cheek. “Stand up and take off the panties,” Sirius told him. Remus carefully rose to his feet. Luckily, his joints seemed to be cooperating.

He stripped his panties off and stood in front of Sirius completely naked. It was a bit nerve-wracking. He was always concerned that Sirius seeing him naked, with all his scars on display was going to make him think Remus wasn’t worth it. Wasn’t attractive enough. Still, he stood in front of Sirius trying not to fidget.

Sirius’s hand wrapped around his co*ck and stroked him from root to tip. “Such a pretty sub, naked in front of me,” Sirius commented, his hand stroking Remus. Sirius continued stroking Remus, working him up. He seemed to know Remus better than Remus knew himself. He stopped as soon as Remus got close. “Bend over the back of the couch,” Sirius ordered him. Remus did as he was told. Sirius made his way up to his room and Remus could hear him moving items.

He was curious about what was about to happen but kept his position. Warm hands ran over his back. “You’re so lovely, all spread out like this for me,” Sirius commented. He took Remus’ arms and adjusted them behind him. A soft rope wrapped around his wrists and secured him in place. Remus allowed himself to be manipulated.

Hands separated his cheeks and a lubed finger probed at his hole. Sirius was effective and thorough at opening Remus up. “If anything feels off let me know.”

“Yes, sir,” Remus replied. His heart was thudding hard in his chest and his co*ck was so hard it was painful. A surprised gasp left his lips as something blunt was pressed to his hole and then inside. It stretched almost to his limit then narrowed and settled. When the base pressed against him he understood a plug. It pressed tantalizingly close to his prostate. He wasn’t given much time to adjust physically or mentally.

Sirius gripped his bound wrists and pulled him to stand up. He was turned around and hard lips were on his. As Sirius kissed the life out of him a hand snaked down again and covered him in lube. A moment later a heavy ring slid over his co*ck. Sirius broke the kiss to carefully work each of his balls through the ring. It settled heavy and restrictive at the base. “There we go, all filled and trussed up. Sit on the couch, legs spread,” Sirius instructed. It took Remus a moment to remember how to move.

His legs felt a little weak and every step caused the plug to shift inside of him. Finally, he made his way to the couch and sat down. Spreading his legs once again made him feel on display and a little vulnerable. He was not left with his thoughts and doubts for long. Sirius was settling over his lap.

He thought Sirius might kiss him again as he leaned forward. His hair made a dark curtain around their faces as he sat up on his knees. A moment later a long-fingered hand was around his co*ck and he was sinking into lovely tight heat. “f*ck, Padfoot,” Remus cursed, arms flexing against the rope holding his hands in place.

“That’s the idea,” Sirius chuckled breathlessly, sinking down completely. “Such a pretty dick, fills me up so good,” Sirius commented when Remus was buried to the hilt.

“You shouldn’t do that with no prep, you’ll hurt yourself,” Remus commented and Sirius chuckled.

“I like the sting Moonpie,” Sirius informed him and braced himself on Remus’ shoulders. “Now I am going to f*ck myself silly on your co*ck and see if you behave well enough to earn your org*sm.”

Remus wasn’t sure how to behave when he was tied up on the couch under his very dominating lover. However, part of it he knew was following the rules so he did the best he could. Sirius' body was perfect as he moved on top of Remus. Remus could do little more than groan and let the sensations wash away rational thought.

The plug was pressed into his body by the pressure of sitting down and Sirius made these wonderful noises as he bounced on the hard co*ck. Every movement and squeeze caused him to throb but the ring kept him contained and locked down.

Sirius was slowly driving him mad. Sweat collected on his skin and his heart thudded painfully behind his ribs. His co*ck was so sensitive that the roll of Sirius' hips was almost too much. He hoped he wouldn’t have a dry org*sm. “Such a sweet boy letting me use his body,” Sirius breathed. Remus kept his eyes down even as Sirius stroked his cheek. He was brought in for a kiss that was more tongue than technique.

He wasn’t sure how long he stayed in this battle of heaven and hell as Sirius made delicious noises. Every drag pulled him along and as he approached the edge, even held back with the ring his toes curled and his fingers clutched around the rope holding his wrists together. “Pads,” he breathed, sounding desperate and broken.

“You can do it, Rem,” Sirius' voice was soothing and gentle hands ran through his sandy hair. That absolute faith had him warm all the way through. He could hold on because Sirius wanted him to. He leaned forward and mouthed at the junction between Sirius' throat and shoulder.

“Am I allowed to mark you?” Remus asked, Sirius gave a pleased hum his hands on Remus holding him in place.

“Absolutely baby boy. Show me how much you like what I’m doing to you,” Sirius murmured. His internal muscles clenched hard when Remus bit down on the spot. Sirius' fingers tightened in his hair but Remus liked the sting. He kept the pressure up until Sirius gave a small groan and pulled him away. “f*ck so good.” Remus’ head was pulled back until he was arched against the couch, head pulled back and chest on display.

He felt the channel around his co*ck tighten and Sirius spill over their bodies. Sirius' hands kept him in that position for a moment while he shuddered and spilled. Remus could feel the warm splash of cum over his stomach. “You are too good, destroy all my carefully built stamina.” Sirius' mouth was warm on his.

Sirius kept one hand wrapped in his hair holding him against the couch and the other moved down to his co*ck. Remus felt the ring release and Sirius' hand on him stroking him. “f*ck Siri,” he breathed and the hand was removed. The sharp sting of a slap against his thighs was surprising.

“That’s not what you are allowed to call me right now,” Sirius reminded.

“Sorry sir,” Remus breathed and Sirius’ nuzzled his neck.

“Good boy,” Sirius kissed his Adam’s Apple and the hand returned to playing Remus like a fiddle. He didn’t bother to hold back his sounds of appreciation or the way his body responded to Sirius.

“Can I cum, please? Wanna cum for you,” Remus pleaded, his voice wrecked and his whole body tense. Sirius' mouth teased wonderful patterns over his shoulder.

“You look so pretty teetering on the edge for me. Yes Moony, you can cum for me,” Sirius responded, damp-breath washing over Remus’ flushed skin. Remus shuddered as he arched into Sirius' hand. His arms strained against the rope as he came. He spilled over the hand and his stomach.

He slumped against the couch and felt a damp towel clean him up. Sirius shifted him enough to undo the ropes around his wrists. “Love budge up I can’t get to your sweet ass like this,” Sirius commented and Remus did as he was told. He groaned as the plug slipped free of his body.

He curled against Sirius as he waited for his body to stop tingling. He only realized he was shivering when Sirius pulled the blanket over them. Remus enjoyed being held by Sirius as he slowly came back to Earth. “Tonight was lovely. I like putting myself in your hands,” Remus commented and Sirius' fingers paused in his hair.

“I’m glad, you’re so lovely when you give in to submission,” Sirius responded in his own soft voice. His fingers went back to carding through Remus’ hair. “I was concerned that as vanilla as you were, you would hate it.”

“I have somebody so sweetly walking me through it,” Remus glanced toward the table where the rope was sitting and saw a pair of rope shears on the table. “Lily told me if you ever used ropes to ask to see the shears and then I forgot.”

“Of course I have rope shears. If you need out or something happens I am going to cut the ropes,” Sirius sounded offended at the very implication. Remus considered this for a moment.

“Isn’t rope… expensive?” he asked finally and Sirius made a noise in his throat.

“Remus what we do is based on trust, the idea that outside of very specific things that we talk about before I do them I am not going to hurt you. If you need out of the ropes immediately for physical or mental reasons they could be made of unicorn hair and I would still cut them. If there’s an emergency, getting you safe is more important. The ropes mean very little if you are damaged by what we’re doing. They’re just things,” Sirius' voice was warm like a sweater wrapping around Remus.

He appreciated the regard of his safety, mental and physical. It was one of the many reasons he found himself trusting Sirius so absolutely. His health, sanity, and safety were never at risk. He cuddled in close and basked in the comfort offered.

--

Remus was sitting at the table chatting with James and Sirius when the bell over the door went off. He glanced over and smiled brightly. He immediately stood abandoning his boyfriend. “Hey Ab,” Remus greeted one of the large men that had just walked in.

“Ah Remus,” Aberforth greeted, his blue eyes crinkling at the corners and his white beard splitting in the wide grin. His tall form completely enveloped Remus as they shared a hug. “How have things been here?”

“They’ve been good, I got Kylie trained and Grant no longer acts petrified of the steamer,” Remus commented, also hugging the other large man, Hagrid. Both looked far too large to be allowed. Aberforth’s beard was long and white, slightly tangled. Hagrid’s beard was bushier and still a dark brunette that matched the wild tangles of hair. They both easily dwarfed Remus’ tall frame. They made an imposing picture but Remus knew they were two of the sweetest and gentlest men he had ever had the pleasure of knowing.

Aberforth had been around for the deterioration of Lyall and had looked after Remus. He had spent much of his own time training Remus how to run the cafe. He never seemed to get annoyed at the constant illness or family emergencies and gave Remus those days paid off with no questions asked. Hagrid was just as kind, he had never said a word when Remus showed up at their house drunk off his ass because he was sad about everything. He had sat with Remus when he had been hospitalized the year before with pneumonia.

“It’s scary and makes a whistling sound,” Grant protested as Aberforth moved behind the counter.

“It’s supposed to do that,” Aberforth answered.

“You two look like the island was good for you,” Remus commented. He noticed Aberforth’s long nose was sunburned and Hagrid’s hair had several streaks of blonde in it.

“His nose is not the only thing that got sunburned,” Hagrid chortled and touched his own bum. Grant and Remus shared a nose wrinkle not wanting to know how that happened.

“You can’t be telling things like that to employees, sexual harassment and sh*t,” Aberforth commented opening the business laptop and pulling out a pair of spectacles.

“Oh yes Remus is going to report you for sexual harassment after asking if he could kiss us both at the ceremony,” Hagrid commented and Remus grinned at the memory. Apparently, a little bit sloshed on champagne he turned into a thirsty slu*t. A warm hand touched his elbow.

“James and I are going to head out. I’ll see you this evening,” Sirius commented and leaned in to kiss Remus’ cheek. Remus frowned and caught his hand.

“You don’t have to go anywhere. Ab doesn’t care who we have in the shop as long as we do our jobs,” Remus informed him. Sirius furrowed his brows.

“Lily said no dating customers,” Sirius reminded him. Hagrid snorted and Aberforth rolled his eyes.

“Blowing off guys again?” Aberforth asked not looking up and Remus tipped his head and made a noise.

“Incel of the highest degree,” Remus corrected. “James punched him in the nose so you might have a nasty review on Yelp.” Now blue eyes came up and took in Sirius and James.

“Wouldn’t be the first time. You ok?” he asked James. James glanced at Remus and then shrugged.

“Strained my finger but I would do it again,” James responded. Remus made a mental note to tell Lily that the next time he saw her.

“Anyway this is my amazing boss Aberforth and his husband Hagrid, they just got back from the Maldives. This is Sirius and James,” Remus introduced around.

“No title for Sirius and James,” Aberforth observed.

“Two guys Remus wouldn’t have thought you had it in you,” Hagrid observed. Remus went beat red and started stammering.

Sirius corrected that he did have a title, “Boyfriend, pervert, or asshole depending on his mood.”

And James frowned immediately, taking a step away from Remus. “No, I come for coffee and the feisty redhead,” James answered. Hagrid cracked up at the wording.

“Ignore Hagrid he has the humor of a teenage boy,” Remus scowled though he wasn’t sure who at.

“I can’t take you anywhere, instant chaos,” Aberforth said but looked at Hagrid with absolute adoration and fondness.

“You wanted an adventurous life, Goat,” Hagrid reminded him, reaching over the counter to smooth out a piece of his beard.

“Hush Giant,” Aberforth didn’t brush his hand off, simply took it in his own. “Nice pull Remus,” Aberforth informed him and Remus felt a warm arm go around his shoulders.

“Poppy said the same thing when I took Sirius up to see Tad,” Remus commented and Aberforth frowned.

“How is he doing?” Aberforth asked concern covering his face.

“Reliving the glory days with my mam so while I am sorry to lose him I can’t blame him. For him, she’s still alive and that has a wonderful level of hope and love,” Remus answered with a shrug. He loved Lyall and wished he was around but Remus could understand him wanting to live in his head.

In his head, Hope was still alive and Remus was young and uninjured. In his head, he was still young and his body didn’t ache. Remus wished he could fix it, solve his tad’s issues but he knew he was doing the best thing he could. He was keeping his tad in the home he was comfortable in and giving him around-the-clock care.

“Well if you ever need a day off to spend with him on a lucid day let me know. We did that with Hagrid’s dad,” Aberforth smoothed a thumb over Hagrid's hand. Remus appreciated that. So far he’d taken a handful of days when Lyall was lucid. It never lasted long and usually left Remus feeling drained but he was always glad to have gone.

They continued talking. Hagrid shared inappropriate stories, Aberforth reproving him and the younger men making faces at each other. Sirius talked about how he had met and wooed Remus while Remus thoroughly corrected his version. James told them about his date the day before with Lily, Remus was meeting her for drinks later. He looked forward to seeing how her version compared to James’. All in all, it was a lovely end to the shift. He was glad Aberforth was back.

*~*

Chapter 25: Show Stopper

Chapter Text

“You look cute,” Sirius commented as Remus tugged on the red sweater. He had a feeling it would be his go-to sweater for a bit. Remus glanced over at Sirius who also looked good but in a completely different way. Whereas Remus was meeting Lily for drinks, Sirius was dressed for a night at home. Low-slung sweatpants and a comfy t-shirt with paint stains on it and half his hair pulled back from his face.

“You have glitter on your nose,” Remus informed him as he sat down to pull on his shoes. Sirius did not seem bothered by this fact. “What are you going to do while I’m out?” Remus asked, standing up.

“See if I can finish a painting since I no longer have a cute Welsh boy distracting me,” Sirius gestured to one of the half-finished canvases strewn around the room. Remus glanced at the painting and tipped his head. He didn’t see anything besides splotches of bright color but he guessed Sirius had a vision for it.

“Sounds utterly boring and completely respectable,” Remus told Sirius as warm arms came around him. Sirius kissed the side of his neck and Remus turned back to him.

“Would rather you stay in and let me draw you but I never want you to feel like you can’t hang out with your friends. How are you getting to the club?” Sirius asked, brushing back Remus’ fringe and tracing the edge of one of his scars.

“Lyft,” Remus answered. Sirius made a face. “What?”

“I’m gonna call Dobby to take you and then you can call Dobby when you are done,” Sirius was using the tone that told Remus this was not a request. He was getting used to it and in all honesty it didn’t bother him as much as he thought it might.

“Fine but in that case we should pick up Lily too. Let me text her while you do that,” Remus agreed, taking the card Sirius offered him. He entered Dobby’s number in his phone and texted Lily about the change in plans. Lily accepted the change easily.

“Text me when you get to the club and when you leave,” Sirius continued when they both looked up from their screens. Remus nodded, this was already a rule. “Behave yourself, remember that cute little bum and pretty face belong to me.”

“I’ll be sure to tell Lily she is pressed up against your property when she dances with her hips against mine,” Remus commented. Sirius sighed. “I’m not going to a club to find a new man or whatever. I’m going to hang out with a friend since we have done nothing but work for a very long time. I’m going to come back to you.”

“Yeah I know but I’m still going to worry and be possessive,” Sirius informed him. Remus felt excitement and nerves rise up in him.

“And what does that mean for me?” Remus asked, resting his hands on Sirius' shoulders as he was caged in those arms again. Sirius' lips brushed over his ear.

“It means when you get back I am going to claim you in a manner matching your behavior at the club,” Sirius' voice was low and seductive. His warm breath washed over Remus’ ear and cheek making him shudder and his knees slightly weak. “So I expect a full report when you get home.” He pulled back and lightly touched the tip of Remus’ nose with his finger. Remus blinked open his eyes, unsure of when he had closed them.

Remus blinked down at him and Sirius gave him an easy smile. “In other words have fun with your friend but make sure when creepy guys one and two try to grope or buy drinks you tell them no,” Sirius reminded and Remus rolled his eyes before nodding. Sirius kissed him slow and deep seeming pleased with his acceptance of all the things that had been said.

Sirius let him go and made his way to the counter where Remus had placed his bag earlier. “Take this with you,” Sirius held out a bottle of pepper spray. Remus was about to argue, he hated carrying pepper spray but he knew it would do him no good.

“Sirius I don’t think…” Remus started and Sirius came around the counter and touched Remus’ cheek.

“I want you home safe and able to defend yourself. It would kill me if something happened to you. Please,” the softness of the request had Remus squashing down his own misgivings. He took the pepper spray and got another kiss. Sirius' phone dinged.

“Dobby is here,” Sirius informed him. Remus nodded and picked up his bag. He tucked his phone and pepper spray into the bag and double-checked that he had his ID and the keycard to get back into the apartment.

“I shouldn’t be out too late. Lily and I both have to work tomorrow morning,” Remus told him. Sirius waved him off.

“Have fun, love. Dobby will be there when you need to get back and I will let you know if I head off to bed before you come home. I don’t expect an immediate answer in the club because of music but I do hope you will check your phone occasionally,” Sirius noted. Remus kissed his cheek and made his way down to where the car was waiting.

The familiar man greeted him when he made his way down to the car. He climbed into the cushy interior and settled his bag on the floor. “Where would you like to go tonight Mr. Remus?” Dobby asked.

“Um…. to pick up a friend of mine,” Remus rattled off the address and Dobby pulled smoothly away from the curb. “How are you tonight Mr. Dobby?” Remus asked once they were on the road.

“Dobby is doing well tonight. How are you, Mr. Remus?” Dobby replied politely. Remus answered the same and they continued through the rapidly darkening streets. When they reached Lily’s building Dobby exited the car and Remus texted Lily that they were there. He also texted Sirius that he had made it to Lily’s and was waiting on the other. A moment later she entered the car, she was wearing a red halter crossed in the front and faux leather pants that clung to her legs barely distinguishable from her heeled boots.

“Aren’t those the pants that squeak?” Remus asked when she flipped her red hair over her shoulder and looked around the car.

“Hush we don’t talk about that,” she scolded. “You have a driver,” she said to Remus, buckling in as Dobby made his way back around the car.

“Sirius has a driver. I have an acquaintance. Dobby this is Lily,” Remus introduced them politely.

“Nice to meet any friends of Mr. Remus, Ms. Lily,” Dobby acknowledged politely.

“Oh please just Lily is fine,” she immediately protested. Dobby looked at them in the mirror, his green eyes bright and wide.

“Oh no, I could never be so informal,” he argued and Lily huffed looking at Remus who just shrugged. If Dobby wanted to be formal he could be. Lily finally gave him the address of a club and they were off. They chatted on the way, mostly about how fabulous Lily looked, yes Remus would make sure she got back with her jacket and her purse. And no, he would not be staying the night as usual.

They pulled up to the club and Lily had Remus do a final check for lipstick on her teeth before they got to the bouncer. A pretty smile and some light flirting and they were in. The lights flashed over the floor and the music was already loud despite it not being very late or crowded yet.

They made their way to the bar. “What can I get you?” the bartender asked, focusing mostly on Lily. Remus didn’t let this bother him.

“Dark and Stormy,” she responded and gestured for Remus to order as well.

“Spritz,” he responded. The man moved away to make their drinks and Remus let his eye scan the club. “You normally only drag me here when you want to dance but the text said talk,” Remus pointed out.

“Talk, dance, whatever,” Lily responded, waving her hand. Remus handed his card over when the bartender came back. Lily dug into her purse and pulled out a metallic packet.

“Are you planning on scoring right here at the bar?” Remus asked as she pulled out something that looked like a very large condom.

“It’s a cup condom and when have I ever cheated on someone,” she snapped the cover over her drink and punched a hole with her straw. She passed one to Remus and he read the back. One in three people drugged, seven in ten knowing someone who had been assaulted. It was gross and saddening. He opened the packet. It had a smiley face with a crossed eye and an easy puncture point for straws. It said, ‘Not Today,’ he popped it over the top of his glass, it was a good idea. He sent a picture to Sirius with the caption, ‘At the Club. Keeping myself safe.’ He got back a picture of Bastet with green on her ears and a frowny face.

He tucked his phone back into his pocket and took a sip of his drink. “So how was the date?” he asked her.

“He brought me potted petunias saying he thought I likely got sick of lilies and also cut flowers are sacrilegious for two plant parents,” she turned her phone to show him the pretty potted flowers that James had gotten her. They were dark purple in the middle with white along the outer edges. Remus pursed his lips trying not to laugh.

“Did you tell him… why… you aren’t fond of that flower?” Remus asked, still holding back a laugh. He was going to crack a rib trying not to laugh at Lily and the honest mistake James had made. Lily gave him a sharp look.

“He agreed to bring daisies next time after a very fraught conversation about my sister,” Lily sighed.

“So you’re still not on the best of terms with her?” Remus asked, concerned, and she made a face.

“She let her husband fat shame me and tried to convince me to go to a fat camp so I could be ‘pretty’,” Lily grumbled. The irony of Vernon Dursley fat-shaming Lily was so hypocritical it was almost comical or would have been had it not been for the upset it caused his best friend.

“You are beautiful Lily,” Remus assured her, and she gave him a sharp look.

“Of f*cking course I am, even if I have a duck in my Cooter and could start a fire with my thighs right now,” she commented. The bartender had returned at that precise moment and looked alarmed. Remus couldn’t help it, he burst into laughter.

They ordered more drinks before moving onto the floor. Lily and Remus had always danced together. Protection, and not to mention, Lily knew Remus wouldn’t grope her inappropriately as they danced. Unfortunately, this didn’t deter everyone. Lily had to pull away from an aggressive man trying to get between her and Remus. Remus had to sidestep his fair share of women and men trying to grind on him. “More drinks?” he asked Lily as they got jostled and a girl nearby tossed her long hair and sent Remus what he guessed was supposed to be a sexy face. She looked like a duck.

She nodded and they stepped off the humid dance floor. They grabbed a couple more drinks at the bar and water before making their way outside. The cold air was nice against their flushed skin. Remus convinced her to pose for a picture and sent it to Sirius. “You sure check in with Sirius a lot,” she commented, struggling to get her straw in her mouth. Remus made a note to not let her get another drink. She was cut off when she wasn’t coordinated enough to catch the straw.

“It’s part of our agreement. I check in with him and he checks in with me. We stay in constant contact except for certain situations,” Remus told her, smiling when he got back a smear of color. It looked like Sirius had gotten paint on the camera and had not bothered to check the picture before sending it. Lily examined his face for a long moment, looking far too sober considering she was swaying slightly.

“Is he being a controlling asshole?” she asked finally. Her voice was steady as well but Remus could hear the beginning of a slur in it. She managed to finally get her straw past her lips and take a long drink of her current beverage. Remus quickly twisted the cap on the water bottle and handed it to her.

“Yes but only because I agreed to let him,” Remus responded, taking his own drink of water. “It’s more that we keep tabs on each other. I insisted we both have to follow the rule but this is to just make sure I am taking care of myself properly, and so he knows where I am. Kind of the point of giving up all the control I had.” Should he feel strange about this?

“As long as you are both consenting and agreeing. If he crosses a line, promise you’ll talk to me?” Lily requested and Remus immediately nodded. Of course he would come to her if Sirius did something he wasn’t ok with. Especially since knowing what he now knew she might be able to reframe it for him without wanting to get into his pants.

They made their way back into the club and danced some more before Lily decided she had enough. They piled back into the car and Lily took a picture of herself to send to James. The sloppy drunk caption was unintelligible and Remus tried to get her to delete the whole thing but it was eventually sent, after which he did confiscate her phone.

He made sure she got up to her apartment and into bed before letting Dobby take him home. It was just after midnight when he let himself into the familiar flat. Sirius glanced over as Remus leaned against the wall. “Hey, lover. Did you have fun tonight?” Sirius asked, placing a paintbrush with orange on the tip behind his ear and making his way over to Remus.

“Hanging out with Lily is always fun. She has these shiny pants that she adores, they make her bum look very nice but they quack like a duck. When she was dancing some guy tried to shove his very nasty penis against her nice bum and she shifted her legs just right to make it quack. He didn’t know what to think but he left her the f*ck alone,” Remus recounted. Sirius examined his face for a long moment.

“You’re a cute drunk,” Sirius commented and kissed Remus lightly. Remus nodded and looked down at his feet.

“I seem to have forgotten how shoes work, unfortunately,” Remus informed Sirius, whose lips twitched as he knelt down by Remus' feet to take off his shoes. Remus ran his fingers through dark hair. “One shoe, two shoe,” he sang to himself as Sirius tugged off his shoes.

Sirius straightened and brushed a gentle hand over his cheek. “Go take a shower love, I will join you shortly,” Sirius went to kiss Remus’ cheek. The paintbrush got in the way leaving an orange streak on Remus’ face. Sirius kissed him anyway and sent him off with a gentle pat on the bum.

Remus stood under the hot water, letting it lull him into a near-catatonic state of relaxation. He sighed happily when Sirius' arms wrapped around him. Soon those long fingers were in his hair scrubbing in shampoo and then conditioner. Sirius then detached a nozzle from the wall to rinse Remus’ hair without drowning him.

Hands glided over his body, smoothing soap against his skin and washing away the booze and sweat. Sirius' hands were firm but gentle, claiming every inch of his skin. Remus allowed him to do his work. Unfortunately, the treatment and alcohol had an unintended side effect. His co*ck responded to Sirius’ touches, getting hard as they showered. “I’m not going to have sex with you while you’re drunk but I can jerk you off if you want,” Sirius offered, his mouth warm against Remus' shoulder.

Remus was hazy and unsure why he was not going to be f*cked but decided not to argue. Sirius was good with his hands too. He nodded and leaned heavily against the other man. Sirius continued to layer kisses and gentle nibbles over his shoulders. Hands skimmed over his shoulders and down his chest. They skimmed over his nipples and Sirius tweaked them gently. His co*ck throbbed as the hot water ran down it.

Finally, those hands traveled over his stomach and down to wrap around his co*ck. One hand stroked him steadily, the other held his hips in place. He could feel Sirius rolling his own hips as he stroked Remus. His co*ck slid in between Remus’ cheeks. He wished Sirius would f*ck him right now.

Still, it was delightful with Sirius moving against him with his co*ck in hand stroking him so deliciously. He braced his hands against the wall and tried not to lose his mind too quickly. He whimpered when the hand redoubled its efforts stroking faster with a firmer grip. “f*ck Siri,” he breathed leaning against his arms on the wall.

“When you’re sober, baby boy,” Sirius promised in his own voice, sounding strained and breathless. The movements continued until Remus stiffened slightly.

“Can I cum?” he breathed and Sirius kissed the back of his neck, teeth scraping slightly against the sensitive flesh and Remus bucked his hips. The pressure and pleasure all cascaded over his drunk mind, melting him completely, unsure of how he held back at that moment.

“Of course,” Sirius answered, sounding pleased and that was all it took. Still boneless and mostly formless Remus spilled over the hand stroking him. He felt Sirius' movements get a bit more frantic and he was spilling against Remus’ bum and crack.

Remus felt the warm spurt of cum against him and then Sirius washed it away. The water was cut and he was dried and tucked into bed. A sweater was placed conveniently within arm’s reach and a bucket in case he got sick. Sirius took such good care of him and his hold was so comforting as Remus slept.

*~*

Chapter 26: Candles

Chapter Text

The sentiment about Sirius taking good care of him was washed away almost before he pulled his head out from under the covers. He could hear the brash man downstairs, singing as he did whatever it is he did. Remus turned off his alarm and climbed out of bed. Now he remembered why drinking the night before work was a bad plan. He gathered up his uniform and sat on the steps to get dressed.

“How’s your head?” Sirius asked when Remus entered the kitchen. He was far too awake and happy.

“Kills,” Remus responded, pouring himself a mug of coffee. He drank it black to chase away the headache.

“Pumping yourself with poison will do that,” Sirius informed him. Remus leveled a dark look at him.

“Rich coming from the man that smokes,” Remus told him, sipping on the coffee and popping an English muffin into the toaster. He should make more before a shift but had no desire to cook anything else.

“Anything interesting happen last night?” Sirius asked as Remus waited for the pop. He glanced over at Sirius.

“Is this the full report thing you mentioned the other day?” he asked and Sirius nodded. Remus sighed with a roll of his eyes and turned back to the toaster. “Nothing happened. Lily and I hung out. Talked about James, talked about you, and danced. A couple of people tried to dance with us but all were blown off. It was nice, it’s been a while since Lily and I spent any time together outside of work. I missed hanging out with her.” The toaster popped.

“I’m glad you had fun,” Sirius commented and Remus spread butter over the English Muffin. Remus listened to Sirius prattle on as he worked on getting back to feeling human.

“How are you so on, all the time?” Remus asked, finally looking up at Sirius, asking his boyfriend a question that required an actual response. Sirius shrugged and gestured him closer. Even with a feeling of dread, Remus leaned over the counter.

“DIVERGENT!” Sirius shouted. Remus jumped and spilled coffee. Bastet also jumped and gave Sirius a truly grumpy look before stalking up the stairs.

“You’re an asshole,” Remus informed him and went into the bathroom to brush his teeth. Once his teeth were brushed and his hair was combed he returned to the front room. Sirius set a glass of water and painkiller on the counter for Remus. He took them gratefully and kissed Sirius on the cheek.

He checked his bag to make sure he was ready for work and they exited. The drive was quiet. Sirius removed his helmet and brushed his hand over Remus’ cheek. “I’ll see you this afternoon,” Sirius told him and Remus nodded. They kissed softly.

--

Remus sighed when he reached the parking lot and Sirius pulled up to the curb. Remus took the helmet and the jacket and outfitted himself before climbing onto the bike. Sirius' lovely smell and warm body helped ground Remus. It hadn’t been a bad day, just a long one. Especially after going out and getting drunk the night before. He rested his cheek against Sirius' back.

“How was work?” Sirius asked as they climbed off the bike at Remus’ place to grab some more clothes.

“It was ok, just a long day. Both Lily and I were hungover and so it made for a bit of a rough time,” Remus answered, letting himself into the tiny apartment. He swore it had shrunk in the time he had been away. He gathered up some clothes and his mail double checking all the envelopes to make sure he wasn’t missing something important. “How was your day?”

Sirius shrugged. “I made several lucrative sales and I walked the students through the importance of telling authority figures to f*ck off,” Sirius responded as Remus pulled his bag back over his shoulder.

“You’re a bad influence,” Remus commented and Sirius grinned.

“Oh absolutely. I also corrupt cute Welsh boys,” Sirius caught Remus by his belt loops and pulled him in for a kiss and a grope. Remus ran his hands through the silky hair.

“Seduction does not count as corruption,” Remus informed him. Sirius pulled him for another kiss. Kissing Sirius was always too good. Remus would be forever useless at kissing Sirius. He melted against Sirius like butter against hot pancakes.

They spent a few more moments kissing before Sirius led him back to the bike. He enjoyed the trip to Sirius' place. He was learning to like the bike. Sirius picked up the package waiting for him at the front desk. “So, what’s in the box?” Remus asked when they got into the elevator.

“Nosy boy, what makes you think I should tell you?” Sirius teased. He tucked the box behind his back and gave Remus a sweet smile.

“Because I will find out one way or another,” Remus pointed out and Sirius considered him for a long moment.

“Perhaps but for the moment be content with not knowing,” Sirius kept the box easily hidden and touched Remus’ nose with his free hand. He grinned when Remus pulled him for a kiss and tried to grab the package. Sirius stepped out of his reach. “I may not be able to hold it over your head but I can be very slippery when I need to be.”

Sirius seemed to prove this fact by stepping out of the elevator at exactly the right moment. He set the box aside as Remus moved to change. They spent time on dinner, with Remus even managing to teach Sirius how to cut a tomato properly. “Still curious about my box?” Sirius asked picking up a knife to open the box.

“More like worried about the sharp thing in the hands of my easily distractible boyfriend,” Remus informed him and Sirius looked up at him.

“Did James tell you about the time I stabbed myself because it was mostly an accident,” Sirius went back to cutting at the box.

“Mostly an accident?” Remus demanded. Sirius' hands stopped again.

“I don’t recall mentioning anything about stabbing myself,” Sirius finally said and liberated the thing from the box. “Close your eyes.” Remus rolled his eyes but did as he was asked and closed his eyes. He could smell Sirius before his lips touched his. Sirius kept the kiss soft and pulled back. He lightly touched Remus’ eyes reminding him to keep them closed.

Remus tried not to fidget on the couch. A moment later something cool was draped around his neck. He felt warm fingers behind his neck fastening it in place. “I’m not going to lock it until you decide if you like it or not,” Sirius assured him sitting back. Remus opened his eyes and Sirius held up a mirror for him.

Remus reached up and touched the necklace now hanging around his neck. It was a simple chain, delicate and gold, against his skin. He swallowed slightly as he noticed the pendant hanging down. It was a dog paw and a moon. He glanced over at Sirius who looked nervous. “I love it, thank you," Remus assured him, leaning forward and kissing him again.

Sirius reached up and shifted so the clasp was in front and picked up a small key and twisted it. “All locked up,” he shifted the lock to rest behind Remus’ neck. The necklace was barely noticeable but Remus still liked the feel of it. It rested against his collarbones and was definitely a symbol of endearment. He felt claimed and cared for.

“What are you going to do now that you have me all trussed up?” Remus asked and Sirius considered for a moment. Then held out his hands to Remus fingers curled tightly against his palms.

“Pick one,” he told Remus who frowned at him before touching his right hand.

“Oh, good choice. Go upstairs, lay on your stomach, and put your hands over your head,” Sirius ordered and kissed Remus’ cheek. Remus only hesitated for a moment before doing as he was told. He stripped as soon as he reached the bedroom and lay face down on the bed. He gripped the slats of the headboard and took a deep breath trying to slow his heartbeat.

Sirius settled next to him and wrapped rope around his wrists, binding him to the bed. “What are your safewords?” Sirius asked softly, finishing up the task at hand and making sure the ropes didn’t chafe or cause discomfort for Remus.

“Green is good, yellow means check-in, and red means full stop,” Remus recited dutifully. Sirius' nails trailed gently over his shoulders and over the collar. He was obviously pleased with how it looked.

“What color are you now?” Sirius asked and got a green in response as a blindfold slipped over his eyes. Remus heard the click of a lighter. “These are skin-safe candles that melt at much lower temperatures than regular candles.”

Remus’ brain clicked almost as audibly as the lighter. Sirius was clearly waiting for his response. Remus swallowed. “Willing to try most things at least once,” Remus agreed, taking a deep breath.

“You’re so good for me,” Sirius told him and Remus felt happiness run through him. He was happy every time Sirius was pleased with him. Then a hot splash came down on one shoulder. Remus gasped at the sensation. Sirius seemed to be waiting for him to decide if he liked it or not.

Remus’ brain was spinning. On one hand, it was lovely and warm, on the other it was hot, and he could feel the slightest bit of pain. It had caused adrenaline and endorphins to flood his brain. He was trying to decide which one he wanted to lean into more. The pain or the tingly pleasure underneath it all. He took a deep breath and sank into Sirius' scent and the deep warmth of being cared for by his lover. “More?” he requested softly.

He got a pleased hum and another splash ran over his other shoulder. Sirius gave him time in between the splashes of liquid wax to voice displeasure and discomfort. Remus never spoke up. His skin broke out in sweat and gooseflesh and he started trembling slightly but not in a bad way. Every nerve was firing, his brain was blissfully quiet and foggy. He found he was hard against the sheets.

Lines of liquid tickled down his shoulders and along his spine. Occasionally the line would flare out as Sirius branched out. Remus wondered if he was making a design or just random swirls. The smell of a candle going out filled his nostrils and another click of a lighter. “Ow, stupid thing,” Sirius cursed. Remus chuckled at that.

“You have to be smarter than the lighter,” Remus teased. Sirius grumbled.

“Brave of you to tease me while all trussed up,” Sirius pointed out and Remus shrugged the best he was able while his arms were bound.

“I trust you,” Remus answered honestly. He was being truthful, the first response to everything was fear and worry because so many people and things had let him down. But with Sirius, he knew the man wouldn’t let him sink. This was something they were experiencing and learning together. Another liquid splash ran in circles near the center of his back. He sank into the sensations again letting them carry him away.

He knew as he felt the deliberate motions of his lover that he was making a picture on his back with splashes of wax. Sirius would chastise him when he shifted and ruined a bit of the work. After what felt like an age the fifth candle went out and Sirius' lips felt cool on his neck. “Can I take your picture?” Sirius asked softly. Remus swallowed but nodded. “Words, Moony.”

“Yes, sir,” Remus agreed and Sirius' lips brushed his temple. Remus was left alone on the bed for a moment and guessed Sirius was taking a picture.

“This is going to be a bit cold but I want to get the wax off before we do anything else,” Sirius warned. A cold towel ran down his back solidifying the wax and pulling it off his skin. It was an odd sensation but not bad. Once the wax was cleared off Sirius' warm body was covering his own. He noticed Sirius was now naked. “You might just be a masoch*st you know.”

“What makes you say that?” Remus asked and gasped as Sirius' nails raked down his back. The welts tingled, and the spots where the wax had been cried out in the best way. f*ck if that wasn’t the most wonderful thing ever.

“Because my beautiful, sweet boy you don’t run from the pain. You lean into it and f*ck if it’s not the sexiest thing…” Sirius continued and once again left scratches down the length of his back. God, it hurt so good and intensified the tremor running along his body.

“It’s not true pain,” Remus argued, still trying to catch his breath. Sirius paused at that. Remus felt this was wholly unfair. He was working with his brain disengaged but had said something that needed clarification. He swallowed. “Can I explain later? My brain is only thinking about how I want to be done until I can’t walk.”

The soft plea in his voice must have worked because Sirius was kissing along his back. “Of course, we can take care of that pesky erection for you,” Sirius' voice was all warm silk wrapping around Remus. Slick fingers pressed into him and Remus relaxed into the feeling.

Sirius took time to make sure he was slick and relaxed but the stretch was not as thorough as usual. Remus didn’t mind the stretch and the slightest sting as Sirius' deliciously thick co*ck opened him up. Sirius held his hips as he sank fully into Remus. It was intense with the nerves of his back still pinging as Sirius filled him so completely.

Thin legs pried his apart so Sirius could settle properly against him. “f*ck, Remus, you feel so good, baby,” Sirius' voice was reverent. He slid one hand carefully under Remus’ stomach and hauled him onto his knees. The angle was deeper but already the relief of his co*ck not being squished against the bed was lovely. “Not sure how long I’m going to last,” Remus confessed, his sweaty hair flopping over his forehead and the edge of the blindfold as he adjusted his head on the pillow.

“Not gonna make you hold out long,” Sirius promised, gripping his hips again. Remus gave a small whimper as Sirius set up a long deep pace. His co*ck pressed against his prostate with every movement and it didn’t take long before the pleasure started to feel insistent. He gripped the ropes and held onto his sanity by the very edge of his nails. He wanted to enjoy this and make it last.

His co*ck throbbed heavily as it leaked onto the sheet under him. His shoulders flexed slightly with every movement. His back still stung and sang in the cold air of the bedroom. Sweat had him slightly damp all over. He was simultaneously overheated and cold all at the same time. It didn’t matter, his whole focus was narrowing to Sirius.

Warm hands on his hips holding him in place, the soft breath he could feel from the other man, the soft brush of hair against his skin anytime Sirius leaned forward to kiss or nibble on his neck and shoulders. He could smell the lovely scent that was all Sirius mixed with the scent of melted wax and desire, sex. There was also the slightly almost dusty scent of rope as it flexed against his wrists.

He was gone when long fingers wrapped around his co*ck. He gave a low groan and allowed the feeling of sparks up the length of his co*ck to wipe his brain even further. Every sensation made his nerves light up and he felt like he was going to combust before this was over. “Sir, please, wanna cum for you,” Remus breathed against the pillow. Sirius' lips were against his ear. He sucked on the lobe before his warm breath tickled over Remus’ ear.

“Of course. Cum for me,” Sirius breathed and Remus was spilling in seconds. He came across Sirius' hand and the sheets. He felt Sirius thrust into his tightening channel. Normally he wouldn’t notice but every movement inward had his co*ck throbbing and spurting. Aftershocks rolled through him with every movement. He expected overstimulation pain but it never came, Pleasure radiated through his body even as every muscle turned to jelly. As soon as he was spent Sirius' hand retreated and the thrusts became determined.

A moment later he heard the low growl that sent shivers down his spine in the best way. Sirius was buried deeply and spilled inside Remus. They lay there for several long moments before Sirius carefully pulled out of Remus. He reached up and undid the binds and blindfolds, pulling Remus into his hold. “Based on your reaction I need to push you from one org*sm straight into another at some point,” Sirius commented.

“Trying to kill me?” Remus asked as his body gave a painful throb. Sirius tipped his head so he could kiss him. They stayed curled against each other until Remus stopped trembling. They made their way into the shower to rinse off the remaining wax, spunk, and sweat.

“So what did you mean, not real pain?” Sirius asked as he washed Remus’ back making sure there was no damage done to the skin. Remus shivered as he traced thin scars.

“Real pain is my feet after all day at work, my joints when the medication doesn’t work properly, my lungs when the asthma decides breathing is overrated, and basically my body choosing to function less like a human body and more like a bunch of broken parts all fixed together with duct tape and super glue. The ‘pain’ you give me is less… sharp,” Remus answered, making sure to choose his words properly. He wanted to give Sirius the truth. Of course, it was difficult to explain chronic pain to someone who didn’t have it. Every part of Remus hurt all the time just in shifts. The pain he took from Sirius was different. It was a choice, it had an end date and it didn’t hurt, at least not in the same way.

Sirius' grey eyes were somber as he watched Remus’ face. Remus tipped his head back. “Plus you don’t trigger the ugly pain that tells me to stay in bed for days on end,” Remus commented. Sirius took a deep lingering breath.

“I hope to never do that to you,” Sirius told him and Remus gave him a sweet smile.

“Keep it tingly, that was good,” Remus responded.

“You got it, Moony.”

*~*

Chapter 27: Evicted

Chapter Text

“I’m overdue to clean my apartment anyway,” Remus commented when Sirius tried to talk him into going back to his place. Sirius flopped on the small bed in defeat. “We’re always at your place, Siri. You should get familiar with my place.”

“I can stand in the middle of what we’re ludicrously calling an apartment and touch all the walls,” Sirius informed him flatly from the bed. Remus looked up from the biohazard that was his fridge.

“It’s not that bad,” he argued. Sirius sighed. Remus went back to emptying his fridge. He supposed the good thing about not being here is even though he hadn’t really cleaned in two to three weeks it didn’t smell. No dirty dishes piled in the sink, no trash to take out, and no dust on the floor or the surfaces.

“I didn’t know it was legal to rent shoeboxes,” Sirius continued. Remus threw a balled-up piece of junk mail at him.

“You’re being a pretentious asshole. It may be small but it’s fine for one person and it’s in reasonably decent condition. And the neighbors are quiet,” Remus informed him, crossing his arms. Sirius huffed and sat up.

“I’m sorry ok. I just… as much as my world makes you uncomfortable it’s the same thing on the other side. It makes me uncomfortable seeing how… the less fortunate live,” Sirius commented, seeming to regret his choice of words as soon as they left his mouth.

“It’s not bad, it's just humble in a way that I don’t think you can understand,” Remus told him. Sirius sighed and frowned. He leaned down and picked up an envelope that had jammed its corner into his foot.

Remus took the envelope remembering peeling it off his door. He slit it open, remembering it was likely about a new tenant or some safety warning to the residents. He shook open the letter and started reading, feeling his heart stutter. “Whoa you just went deathly white,” Sirius commented. He gripped Remus’ elbow and led him to sit on the bed.

Remus reread the letter hoping he misunderstood. And again and one final time. He finally looked away from the formal print sealing his doom to look at Sirius' concerned face. He was kneeling in front of Remus and rubbing soothing patterns against his legs. “Um…. the building is being bought out and cleared. I have… three days… to find a new place,” Remus said, checking the date on the letter and doing a bit of mental math. “Ffyc.” He placed his head in his hands. The paper crumbled in his hold.

Now the familiar panic was licking through his veins. There was no way to find a place in three days. He wasn’t worried about the deposit or rent. Thanks to Sirius, he had the flexibility to pay for that. He was worried about the interim. Where was he going to live while he figured all of this out? Soft hands moved off his legs to rub his shoulders.

“I’ll call James and we’ll help you get packed up,” Sirius seemed to be misinterpreting his panic. Remus frowned at him.

“That’s not what I’m worried about. My stuff is only like a day project, most of the furniture was here when I showed up,” Remus commented. “Where am I going to go while the credit check, background check, and everything else goes through?” Remus demanded and Sirius' brow crinkled.

“Sorry I was already five steps ahead, I assumed that answer was clear,” Sirius looked slightly guilty now. This had happened a handful of times. Sirius jumping ahead in a conversation or decision-making process. Sometimes it drove Remus insane but other times it was helpful. Right now though he was stumped. It didn’t matter how much money Sirius had, the housing market was a nightmare right now, especially for renting. “You can come stay with me.”

Remus gave him a look. “We may be staying at your place most of the time but we’re not even a month in and you want me to move in?” Remus demanded and Sirius nodded without a bit of hesitation. “I could be a psycho or a thief or a killer, a psycho killer thief,” Remus informed him. Sirius' pursed his lips looking like he was trying really hard not to laugh.

“Rem, luv, I came out the other day to find you ironing your socks while humming The Stanley Steemer jingle and wearing bunny slippers. If you’re a psycho killer I would assume all your victims died from cuteness overload because even Bastet can’t compete and she’s very cross about it,” Sirius told him. Remus thought this was an unfair dismissal, killers could have a softer side. “Look if you would like, we can call it temporary until you find a place you like. I’m not going to let you be homeless.”

Remus leaned forward and placed his forehead against Sirius' allowing the knot in his stomach to loosen. “I don’t know how to do this. I’ve done one thing my whole adult life. Worked the two jobs and come back to this place. Now everything in my life is changing.” Sirius' hands moved to his hair and Remus relaxed into his touch.

“You’ve spent so long taking care of everyone else. Let me take care of you,” Sirius implored and Remus swallowed. “Temporary or otherwise you are welcome at my flat and move in as much or as little as you are comfortable with.” Remus blinked at him slowly and Sirius' face never shifted. He was giving Remus unrestricted access to his life.

“You’re only saying that because you haven’t seen my book collection. Some of it is here but most of it is with my Tad,” Remus commented as Sirius ran his thumbs over Remus’ cheeks, one slipping lower to trace over his bottom lip too.

“Doesn’t matter to me,” Sirius informed him. Remus prayed it would be as easy as Sirius was making it sound.

“All right but only temporary for now. I won’t be a mooch,” Remus told him and Sirius gave him a nod. Remus decided to ignore his heart and stomach which both were ok with moving in with Sirius and the smug little smile lingering in the corners of Sirius' mouth.

--

It only took about twenty minutes after putting up the bat signal for James and Lily to show up. Separately, of course, but meeting at the door. James brought boxes and tape. Lily brought markers and moral support. “You really thought if you didn’t move in with Sirius I would have let you be homeless you twit,” Lily scolded when Remus opened the door. The apartment was now looking very small with four grown adults crammed in.

“You try getting an eviction notice backdated almost a month ago and see where your brain takes you,” Remus told her. She tipped her head to the side at this and nodded.

“I would let her move in,” James answered immediately and placed his load on the small dining table.

“I would move back in with my parents. Sorry Jamie, we’re not moving in together anytime soon,” she scolded, tapping his cheek lightly. Sirius snickered.

“Burn,” he breathed and Lily glared at him.

“I can take my truck elsewhere. See how well you fare getting stuff to your flat on that ridiculous bike,” James told him.

“Shut up,” Lily snapped as Sirius opened his mouth to retort. “Can we just get Remus packed up?” She picked up a box and put it together before shoving it at James. “Go pack up the bathroom.” Another box was shoved at Sirius and he was put in charge of the kitchen. Lily helped Remus sort out the important bit, under the bed. All the drawers were organized, mostly he was concerned with his paperwork drawer. It had medical records, taxes, and all the information about Lyall in there.

They worked in silence for a while until Sirius made an irritated sound. A moment later his phone was propped on the counter and playing music. It didn’t take Remus long to realize Sirius didn’t seem to have anything but 80s rock on his playlist. Lily grinned over at him and Remus rolled his eyes.

Five boxes later and in the bed of James’ truck had Remus feeling drained. He walked through all the corners double checking that he had left nothing behind. He swallowed as he stepped out for the last time. He checked his mail before turning in the house key and mailbox key to the main office.

“Do we want to go for sushi or something?” James asked lingering by his truck. Lily nodded and glanced over. Sirius nudged Remus who seemed to come out of his stupor.

“I’m sorry… I have no idea what we’re talking about,” Remus apologized looking between James and Sirius.

“Do you want to go out for sushi before we take the stuff to the flat?” Sirius asked.

“Sure,” Remus answered, sounding a little flat. After a quick conversation about where they were meeting, they all moved to separate vehicles. Sirius gently stroked Remus’ cheek before placing the helmet on his head.

“I’ll help you search for a place,” Sirius told him. Remus finally met his eyes. Remus reached up and tugged off the helmet so he could lean in and kiss Sirius.

“Thank you for the help today and for offering me a place to stay,” Remus commented leaning his forehead against Sirius'. Sirius wrapped an arm around him holding Remus close.

“I’ll always look after you,” Sirius promised. Remus swallowed as his throat felt tight. He stayed in Sirius' hold until he was sure he had himself under control. They shared another warm kiss before Sirius returned the helmet to his head and clipped it into place.

It was clear Sirius knew how upset Remus was, anytime they were stopped his hands would come back to rest on Remus’ legs stroking his calves and knees. His hands were warm even through Remus’ jeans. The ride was short and Remus allowed Sirius to undo the helmet when they reached the restaurant.

“Do you need a minute?” Sirius asked when they saw James and Lily pull up and park next to each other. Remus shook his head. Perhaps it would feel better just hanging around people he liked for a while. They all walked in and got a table.

Lily immediately launched into a story about how customers sucked and if one more person commented on her ass or tit* she was going to punch them in the face. This led to James asking about the restaurant she worked in. About managerial policies and sh*t. “No, there is no real system in place. According to the handbook we’re supposed to report all instances of harassment to the managers but so far they’ve just told me to suck it up.”

“That’s completely ridiculous. No one should have to put up with being harassed at their job,” James sounded so offended. Remus actually managed a small smile at the look on Lily’s face at James’ indignation on her behalf. “I personally don’t understand that.”

“And that’s why I’m dating you and not some asshole who smokes cigars and drinks whiskey and hits on waitresses,” Lily reminded him, touching his cheek lightly. She kissed said cheek which caused James to get this gormless look on his face. He looked over at Sirius with a dreamy expression and Remus and Lily glanced at each other before looking away to avoid laughing. James was such a simp.

“Well mum tried to kill Remus,” Sirius changed the subject, not subtle at all that man. When James asked for further details Sirius launched into the story. He only paused for them to tell their server what they wanted to drink. They all ordered a couple of rolls a piece. Ginger and wasabi were delivered to the table as Sirius finished.

“And I’ll just take this,” James said, removing the small plate with the scoop of green and the pink slices of pickled ginger. Remus blew his straw wrapper at him.

“I don’t even like wasabi and ginger,” Remus commented. “Beyond that, Effie was really sweet. Once she realized I would die if I ate any more of the admittedly delicious dinner she warmed me up something. What was it?” Remus couldn’t quite recall the words she had said. He looked at Sirius expectantly.

“Shahi paneer,” Sirius responded, pouring soy sauce into the small plate and arranging his chopsticks carefully. Damn if the Indian words didn’t sound delicious coming from his mouth.

“She must really like you. I dated a girl who couldn’t handle spice, and Ma just turned to me in front of the girl and asks me in Punjabi if I really thought it was appropriate to date her,” James groused. “And Da was no help at all. He just started laughing… You can handle spice right?” This was asked of Lily who raised her eyebrows at him.

“If your mother is the deciding factor in whether or not we keep dating I am leaving now,” Lily warned him. “However I like spicy foods and even if I didn’t, I have other ways of winning over parents. If I can convince Lyall to like me, your parents should be easy money.” Lily flicked her long red hair over her shoulder dismissively.

“I mean we were six, it’s really kind of difficult to hate a six-year-old,” Remus pointed out. The server returned with their drinks and food.

“Have you met six-year-olds recently Remus, they’re all assholes and really easy to hate,” she corrected, picking up her chopsticks. Remus didn’t have a response to that. He didn’t spend much time around children of any age. “They get mouthy at that age.”

“So Siri, how are you going to make the traditional Biryani for Remus to announce your intention to marry him if he can’t handle spice?” James asked. The effect over the table was instant. Sirius choked on his sushi, and Remus nearly sprayed the table with water. Lily glanced up, her bit of sushi falling down to her plate. Only James looked unaffected as he helped himself to a few pieces of peanut and avocado roll.

Remus broke out of his preoccupation first and thumped Sirius on the back as he attempted to dislodge the rice from his windpipe. “You’re an asshole,” Sirius rasped out when he regained his ability to breathe.

“Just a question,” James commented, still not looking up from his sushi.

“If that becomes a discussion that Remus and I have I will figure out something else to serve him,” Sirius told James.

“Honestly if he put any food in front of me that I hadn’t watched him prepare or had assurances that Effie or a trained professional prepared I wouldn’t eat it. My immune system is already f*cked up enough thank you very much,” Remus finally managed, piecing back together his own brain.

Sirius protested while Lily and James laughed. Sirius handed Remus a cute little origami heart he’d made from his own straw wrapper. “You made me Biryani for our first date,” Lily finally mentioned. James’ skin darkened and he suddenly found the edge of his napkin very interesting.

“Busted,” Sirius chortled as Remus carefully tucked the heart into his wallet. It was so sweet.

--

The boxes were brought up to Sirius' flat and placed in the middle of the living room. James and Lily took their leave. Remus and Sirius showered together and while Sirius had his nightly cigarette and chatted with Bastet Remus opened the books box. He dug through carefully until he found the old scrapbook.

The leather was cracked along the spine and the old words in gilt gold were faded. ‘Ein Stori,’ Remus only knew what it said because Hope used to say those words while tracing over them. He opened the familiar book. Embedded in every page was that scent that had permeated Remus’ childhood.

Sweet peas and Orchids. His mam’s perfume. On the first page carefully attached were a couple of dried and pressed flowers. It was lavender and a white daisy. Underneath in his mam’s steady and pretty handwriting was the caption with the date. Lyall bought me flowers on our first date, they match a candle he also got me. Now every time I burn that candle I think of him. The Welsh looked so effortless and pretty on the page.

Remus knew his Tad had done that on purpose. He had suggested it to Remus when he was old enough to start dating. It had come on the heels of Remus admitting he liked blokes. “Remus it don’t matter who you fancy. The best way to keep yourself on someone’s mind is to buy them flowers and buy them a candle that matches. When they burn the candle they’ll think of you.” Remus had never told his mam that secret. It didn’t matter, she knew, she always knew.

He carefully turned the page. A ticket to a play, another flower, and an actual photo were attached to this page. The picture was yellow around the edges with age. Lyall brought me more flowers. Should I tell him they make me sneeze? We went to a play tonight and he kissed me when he dropped me off. Another date a week after the first one. The picture showed a young Hope and Lyall sitting on a brightly colored blanket on the grass.

His mam was wearing a bright green dress that brought out her eyes. She was smiling widely, the slight gap between her teeth looked endearing. His Tad was wearing nice jeans and a button-down purple shirt tucked smartly into his waistband and his sandy brown hair combed carefully. He was smiling but his eyes were not on the camera, they were on Hope.

Remus flipped through several more of his parents' memories all captioned neatly with Hope’s notes, always in Welsh. Sometimes she would slip into more of a journal entry mode offering thoughts or feelings on the whole thing. As things progressed and they moved in together sometimes Lyall’s tense chicken scratch would annotate things in English.

Their wedding was included and then Remus started showing up in the book. Baby pictures all with captions and dates written carefully. All his birthdays and field trips, first days of school. Lily made several appearances smiling big and gap-toothed with purple all around her mouth from a popsicle. The entries thinned as time went on. The hospital started to make its appearance and Remus’ own writing, rounder than his mam’s, started appearing. Lyall had captioned his graduation from school.

The pages after that weren’t empty. Remus had kept up the book knowing his mam had wanted him to fill it with his life. Still, there were only a few added pages. A couple of nights out with Lily and Dorcas, the weekend pub crawl he and Lily had done, a lovely week away to Wales and Tintagel Castle and a picture of him and Lily at Hagrid and Aberforth's wedding.

His first date with Sirius was marked with flowers like Hope’s first date with Lyall. He had placed a Stonehenge postcard for their second date. He pulled out the origami heart and used a piece of tape, Sirius had several rolls all over the flat. He attached it to the page and picked up a pen, again Sirius had several all over the house. It was the glittery purple one used on their contract. He gave me his heart. Look after it please, Mam. He added the date.

*~*

Chapter 28: Doppelganger

Chapter Text

Remus was warm as he stirred the next day. He hummed happily and opened his eyes. “Good morning,” Sirius greeted from the corner of the bed. He had his sketchpad balanced and a sheet over his lap. The way his grey eyes traced over Remus’ half-hidden form also under a sheet had Remus flushed. It was very clear what Sirius was drawing. “Will you stay like that for me?”

Remus gave Sirius a sweet smile. “How long, I do have to pee and breakfast would not be amiss,” Remus commented. Neither need was pressing at the moment. Sirius looked back up at him and then down at the drawing in his hands.

“Twenty minutes,” Sirius suggested and Remus’ smile settled more properly onto his face.

“All right,” Remus closed his eyes again, allowing the comfort of the bed to keep him content. He could hear the charcoal scraping over the paper. He could feel the heat of Sirius' gaze on him. He didn’t bother to keep track of the time. He simply allowed himself to relax and daydream while Sirius drew him.

He didn’t hear when Sirius set the sketchpad aside so he was surprised when a warm body joined him in bed and lips pressed to his. He relaxed immediately, threading his fingers through Sirius' hair. A warm thigh slipped between his even as hands removed the sheet between them. Remus turned from the kiss. “Siri not right now,” Remus squirmed uncomfortably, and immediately that weight was off him. “I have to pee,” he reminded and quickly stood up.

Sirius flopped on the bed dramatically and Remus smiled at him. He made his way to the bathroom and quickly went about his business. He returned to the bedroom and Sirius was lying exactly as he had been left. Remus climbed into his lap and adjusted so the hard flesh Sirius was sporting rubbed between his cheeks. “I may be good but I don’t think I am good enough to revive the dead,” Remus informed him.

Sirius propped his head up on his hands, elbows bent to watch Remus. “A cute boy on my lap might bring me back to life,” Sirius commented. Remus rolled his hips enjoying the feel of Sirius' co*ck between his cheeks.

“I don’t think I have that kind of time. Might have to go find a more lively bedfellow,” Remus didn’t let himself overthink it. He climbed off of Sirius and the bed. He had only gotten a few steps to the direction of the stairs before Sirius growled at him and that was all the warning Remus got before he was tackled onto the soft carpet.

“I’ll give you lively,” Sirius growled and flipped Remus over onto his back. Remus didn’t fight back, it was exciting being pinned to the carpet. Sirius pressed a kiss to his lips and then sat up. The extent of Sirius' planning was immediately evident when he produced a tube of lube. He grabbed Remus’ ankles and hauled them over his shoulder. Warm fingers probed his hole.

He didn’t try to resist Sirius as he was stretched out by those delicious fingers. It was a lovely combination of Sirius' more dominating side and a sweet lazy morning. Remus’ eyes fluttered as Sirius' fingers breached his body and brushed against his prostate. “Feels good baby,” he breathed and immediately bit his lip. Was he about to get in trouble?

“The pet names are so sexy. You can call me whatever you like when we’re not actually scening,” Sirius commented. Remus let his lips curl into a sarcastic smirk.

“You really shouldn’t give me that power,” Remus informed him, his peridot eyes flickering open and looking at Sirius with desire burning in those deep depths.

“I look forward to seeing what you come up with,” Sirius retorted and twisting his fingers in a way that had Remus gasping. Sirius layered kisses along his legs as he opened Remus up. He parted Remus’ legs so one was on either shoulder and entered him in one smooth thrust. It was so deep.

Remus’ fingers tightened on the soft carpet as he filled so deeply. Sirius leaned over him practically bending him in half. His thighs burned in the best way. He kissed Sirius sloppily before Sirius pulled back and thrust into him properly. It felt amazing.

His legs rested over Sirius' shoulders and Sirius' hair swung loose over his shoulder and was curtained around his face. Remus lifted a hand to his face and traced over his cheek. Sirius smiled at him. It caused Remus’ heart to contract in a wonderfully painful way and his stomach to swoop like he was riding a roller coaster. He slid his hand into that dark hair and held on tightly.

He rocked with Sirius and sweat built up quickly. He could feel sweat dripping down his legs and onto the carpet. His toes curled when Sirius picked up the pace. The sound of skin on skin filled the room and mixed beautifully with the sounds of their gasps and low moans.

Sirius wrapped a hand around Remus’ co*ck as they moved together. God, it felt so amazing. Sirius was always so amazing with him. Sirius slowed and let his legs down. He leaned down and kissed Remus. “Roll over onto your knees for me,” Sirius urged, sliding out of Remus’ body.

Remus immediately missed the warm rod splitting him open. He did as he was told. He rolled over and sat up on his knees. Sirius' hand pressed between his shoulder blades and this pressed his face into the soft carpet. “Still can’t believe you tried to abandon me just because you thought I might be dead. I expect Bastet to no longer care who I am if I die but you’re supposed to cry and sh*t,” Sirius informed him sliding back into Remus in one quick thrust.

“f*ck how are you so huge,” Remus cursed him out. Sirius lightly tapped on his bottom.

“Such a filthy little mouth. Should keep it occupied,” Sirius commented and a moment later Sirius had pulled Remus to sit up his back against Sirius' chest. His lips were claimed in a sloppy kiss.

“If you think a kiss is going to shut me up,” Remus breathed. Sirius gave him a rakish grin and wrapped an arm around Remus’ waist. The new position allowed Sirius to pull Remus down to fully impale him. It was so deep. Remus could feel it practically in his throat. Sirius held him there f*cking him deep and hard.

“A kiss may not shut you up but it seems a good hard dicking does,” Sirius commented, Remus was gripping those pale knees unable to do much more than hold on for dear life.

“Sod… off…” Remus panted out. “Smug… asshole.” He should have more words but he didn’t. He couldn’t string together enough words to keep this conversation going.

“Tsk, tsk language Moony,” Sirius grumbled. He sounded remarkably put together for what they were doing. Remus went to make a retort but fingers were suddenly in his way. Sirius had pressed fingers into his mouth instead of letting him make a rude remark.

Remus went with what felt right at that moment. He sucked the fingers into his mouth like they were sweet candy. Sirius gave a low groan and curse behind him. “And I’m being scolded for my language,” the words were slightly unclear because of the fingers in his mouth.

“And your manners, weren’t you ever told not to talk with your mouth full,” Sirius told him with another series of sharp thrusts. Remus gave a low broken cry as he was driven up the hill. Every part of him tingled. He felt so dirty and yet so desirable as he sucked on Sirius' fingers while being f*cked open. His eyes focused on the right spot at the right moment and he saw them perfectly reflected in the mirror.

Sirius' grey eyes blazed as he watched them. Remus could see everything. His own hair was messy, the way Sirius' fingers disappeared behind his lips, the flush and sweat on his skin, and the place where they joined. He could see Sirius' co*ck splitting him open. His eyes met the grey ones in the mirror. They looked molten and Remus felt like they were searing into his soul.

Sirius' own hair was messy as he moved against Remus, his pale skin flushed with a light pink that covered his cheeks and down his neck and over his chest. It was a lovely color. Every line of his body read that he would f*ck Remus all day if he had the chance. Remus whined and leaned further into him.

Sirius didn’t break eye contact. He simply freed his fingers from Remus’ mouth and wrapped them around his leaking prick. Remus practically sobbed as he was jerked and filled at a rough pace. “Siri wanna cum, please let me cum,” Remus was half out of his mind with want. As Sirius moved against him every thrust was punctuated with a please.

Finally, Sirius twisted his wrist. “Cum for me,” he ordered against Remus’ ear. Remus nearly screamed as he let go. He sprayed over Sirius' hand, his knees, his own thighs, and his stomach. He felt Sirius thrust into him a few more times and the familiar feel of him spilling deeply into Remus. Remus slumped against Sirius as they both caught their breath.

“You watched us in the mirror,” Remus accused him. Sirius kissed his cheek.

“So did you,” Sirius reminded him. “Of course I watched us in the mirror. Do you have any idea how f*cking sexy that was?” Sirius asked. “You spread out on my co*ck like a f*cking wet dream and those sounds you made as you held back your org*sm. f*ck Remus that was so good. I’m so proud of you.”

Those words caused a fire to burn low in his belly. Remus liked when Sirius was proud of him. He wanted to do that more often. “I’ve never had something like this. Usually, it’s a quick grope in the dark.” Remus hummed happily when hands slid up his stomach and over his chest.

“You deserve to be worshiped and cherished,” Sirius' hands felt like they were worshiping and cherishing him. Not a single inch of him was left unexplored. He was claimed by Sirius’ body, mind, and soul. As he was eased off of Sirius and the other went to draw them a bath he knew he was sunk. He also knew the idea of such a total surrender should scare him a lot more than it did.

--

“Do I get to see the drawing I unwittingly posed for this morning?” Remus asked later as they sat at the counter eating fruit and croissants slathered with butter and jam. Sirius nodded and got up. A moment later Sirius was handing Remus the thick sketchpad. It was open to the page Sirius had covered with the drawing of Remus.

He looked relaxed, the sheet covering part of his body, one foot stuck out on the bottom. Somehow Sirius had managed to capture the translucent nature of the sheet so Remus was only half shrouded. He flushed slightly when he noticed that Sirius had in fact traced out a half-hidden co*ck. The scars were traced into his skin with care and detail, and the thin chain was finely detailed on his neck. Remus had never felt so seen. “I think you took some liberties,” Remus commented finally.

Sirius took the pad back from Remus and closed it. His eyes trailed over Remus’ face and he shook his head. “I did not. I drew my very sexy boyfriend asleep and relaxed. My new favorite subject,” Sirius commented. He sounded absolutely sure of himself. Remus swallowed. “I adore learning every centimeter of you through touch and vision. I hope you’ll let me draw you in the future.”

Remus didn’t know how to respond to this. He lowered his eyes to his food. Sirius didn’t push the subject. They finished breakfast and Sirius helped Remus unpack his boxes. It was odd to see Sirius so easily make space for Remus’ things. It made the low swooping sensation in his stomach more pronounced.

The day was chill and quiet. Remus clicked through apartment listings while Sirius painted nearby. The smell of the turpentine was strong and mildly unpleasant but opening the window behind him helped. It was a lovely domestic moment while he clicked away and Sirius chatted with Bastet scolding her for stepping on his palette.

It wasn’t long before Remus realized why his search for a flat was going badly. He was comparing it to all the ways it wasn’t like the one he was in currently. This one had too many walls, the loft bedroom was crowded, the window was too small for Sirius to be able to smoke, and the washer and dryer were in between the sink and the refrigerator.

“I realize why I never moved before this,” Remus grumbled, closing his laptop and running his fingers over Bastet’s back when she jumped up into his lap. Sirius glanced up. He had a green streak over his nose, it was cute.

“Hmm…” Sirius inquired, sounding a bit like the activation noise of a cat and with that adorably daft look on his handsome face.

“I hate it and I’m bad at it,” Remus informed him. Sirius set his palette down and came over to Remus. Very careful of the cat in his lap Sirius leaned down and kissed Remus. Remus could feel the paint smear a bit on him too but didn’t care. He wrapped his arms around Sirius and deepened the kiss.

Bastet gave them up as a bad job and stalked away over to the cat tower in the corner. Sirius lowered himself into the now vacated lap and straddled Remus. “I can’t think of anything you’re actually bad at but I can help if you would like,” Sirius offered when the kiss ended as he ran fingers through Remus’ hair.

Remus gave him a look. “I don’t think our aesthetics match well enough for that to be a thing,” Remus pointed out. Sirius' fingers slid over his ears and down. One long finger slid under the chain around Remus’ neck and then over the knit lines of the red sweater.

“I am offended that you think I can’t table my own taste for opulence and excess for my lovely Welsh boy,” Sirius commented lightly. His hands had continued down and slid under the red sweater. Remus had to admit so far Sirius seemed to have picked things that fit his style and sensibilities perfectly. “I adore your desire for simpler things, allows me to try and see the beauty in something that is not based on superfluous flair.”

“Perhaps we should attempt to make your use of the English language simpler,” Remus grumped even as the well-spoken turn of phrase had his literature-loving heart thudding a bit harder in his chest.

“I have a very expensive education, so I use it because I can see that it makes you a bit gooey,” Sirius responded. Remus couldn’t argue with that. The idea that Sirius was that observant and intentionally used an extensive vocabulary made Remus’ stomach flutter. There was just something absolutely delightful about being the focus of all the facets of Sirius.

“You have green paint on your nose,” Remus informed him.

“I know, you have some on your cheek,” Sirius answered back but did not attempt to wipe off either smear. “Are you going to let me help you with your flat search?”

“No,” Remus answered, keeping his arms linked around Sirius. The easygoing smile slid off his face like melted butter and descended into a pout. Remus had to work hard to keep his face neutral.

“Why not?” Sirius demanded. Remus guessed had he been standing he would have stamped his foot like a toddler.

“Because it would involve you getting off my lap and removing your hands from inside my shirt. I don’t want either of those things to happen,” Remus informed him. Sirius' face fell back into that graceless smile. He leaned back in to brush his lips over Remus’.

“What would you like to have happen instead?” Sirius asked, his breath warm over Remus’ mouth. His eyes dark and hot with desire. It made Remus’ breath catch. Sitting as he was, Sirius could feel when his co*ck took interest. “Naughty boy.” It sounded like the highest praise coming from Sirius' mouth.

Sirius' hands slid up and peeled off his sweater. Remus allowed this to happen. Sirius' mouth was back on his as soon as the red fabric was up and over his shoulders and down his arms. Remus gave a small whine when the sweater was used to restrain his hands over his head while Sirius kissed him. In reality, there was no complaint.

Sirius had just started rolling his hips in that delicious way that had Remus thinking they were about to do something very fun on the couch when his phone rang. Sirius gave a low groan that did not sound like consent and pulled back. “Do you have to answer that?” he asked.

“It’s Lily if I don’t she’ll continue calling until she talks your address out of James and just shows up,” Remus told him. Sirius huffed and Remus freed his hands from the sweater. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and answered. “What’s up, Lily?”

“If I knew about a bad thing would you want to know or would you prefer to be in the dark about it?” Lily asked. There was so much noise on her end that Remus made a face.

“You should tell him, he deserves to know. I knew nothing good would come from dating a rich man,” that was Dorcas’ voice. She was loud and obviously already drunk. Remus checked Sirius' watch. His favorite girls were drunk at five thirty in the afternoon.

“What are you two on about?” Remus asked, deciding this conversation was already much longer than it needed to be. Sirius was still sitting on his lap. Remus was eager to let Sirius get back to whatever he’d been planning.

“Are you sitting down?” Lily asked, her voice slurred. “Hey, watch it asshole!” she shouted likely someone at the bar had run into her. Sirius had obviously heard some of this. He looked like he was trying not to laugh now.

“Yes Lily, I am sitting down,” Remus informed her, propping the phone between his shoulder and ear so he could run his fingers under Sirius' shirt. Sirius smiled at this and shifted so he could take off his shirt completely. Remus liked where this was going.

“Sirius is at the bar I am at and is kissing another guy,” Lily spoke as though telling Remus his dog had died or something. Remus frowned at the phone and then up at Sirius who gave him a bright smile.

“I find that a bit hard to believe as Sirius is currently in my lap and hasn’t been out of my sight all morning,” Remus commented and Sirius tipped his head in question. “Do you have a twin?” Sirius' brow crinkled.

“I do not have a twin… mostly,” Sirius answered. Remus put his phone on speaker.

“Oh, well, then who is that? Hold on…” she muttered and the sounds of her pushing her way through the crowd could be easily heard in the background. “Excuse me, sir, who are you?”

“Oh god, Lily leave the poor man alone,” Remus pleaded. He was ignored.

“I’m sorry, what business is it of yours who I am? Please don’t touch me,” the cultured voice sounded through the phone and recognition spread over Sirius' face. There was no time for Remus to ask questions.

“My friend is dating Sirius Black and I thought from across the bar you were him and cheating on my friend. I want to know who this doppelganger is,” she responded, obviously thrown by this response.

“My name is Regulus, the man whom you spilled your martini on is my boyfriend Barty. Sirius is my older brother,” the other voice answered and Remus glanced up at Sirius' face. His nose was crinkled like he knew he was about to have a very long conversation ahead of him.

*~*

Chapter 29: Milkshakes

Chapter Text

Remus shoved a cup of coffee across the table to Lily. She wasn’t any more sober than when they had walked in. Sirius was sitting next to Remus looking as tense as a drawn bow. Remus was still reeling from the new information of Sirius having a brother.

“God, why do I do this to myself?” Lily asked, making a face.

“You’re young and sexy, why would you not go out drinking?” Remus asked. Lily looked up at him squinting against the bright fluorescents.

“What’s your excuse?” She snipped. Remus was prepared to argue with her that he was not sexy and despite his legal age being young his physical body was far too old to pump full of poison too often. He fell silent when Sirius' hand fell to his knee and squeezed. He followed Sirius' gaze to the young man who had just walked in.

He looked like Sirius, but with deliberate mistakes. His eyes were blue, his hair was shorter, he didn’t have his septum pierced and he looked more polished than Sirius usually did. He had pale skin without a single blemish. He had the same straight features as Sirius but his eyes were a little sharper. His eyes scanned the restaurant and then he walked purposefully toward the table.

Another man was right behind Regulus. He was as skinny as the brothers with soft ash blonde hair combed neatly. His eyes shone briefly under the light with an almost yellow color, Remus thought they might be contacts until they drew closer and he saw they were naturally ochre. He looked less tense than Regulus, seeming to find the whole thing mildly amusing. He had smooth skin with a set of light freckles scattered over his nose and cheeks and he had a light olive undertone that made Remus think he might be from somewhere else. He had delicate features and a nose that was slightly upturned.

Regulus hesitated when he reached the table. Remus immediately relocated next to Lily and Regulus ran a hand through his hair with a nervous twitter. “I think you just made his choices harder. While he attempts to reboot, I’m Barty,” the other man said and held out a hand to Remus. His nails were perfectly trimmed, his hand soft in Remus’. His smile was perfectly straight and white.

“Remus,” he answered. Barty seemed to consider introducing himself to Lily but she wasn’t paying the least bit of attention.

“Love, sit next to your brother,” Barty suggested.

“Don’t tell me what to do,” Regulus snapped. His face immediately lost its edge and he turned back to the other. “Sorry,” he muttered and Barty just gave a tight smile.

“Sit,” Barty urged. Regulus seemed to be willing to listen this time. He sat next to Sirius, though every muscle in his body suggested he wanted to bolt out of there. Barty went and retrieved another chair so he could sit on the end.

“And I thought I had issues with my sister,” Lily muttered blissfully unaware that she was in fact speaking at full volume. Regulus shot her a look but Barty’s hand on his shoulder had him biting back any remark he wanted to make.

“I didn’t know you were back in London,” Sirius finally said after the silence had spiraled horribly. Lily was trying to get the server back over so she could get a greasy tuna melt. Remus was trying to avoid getting hit by her flailing hands.

“Because I didn’t tell you,” Regulus answered shortly, picking up a straw wrapper and shredding it. “Wouldn’t have told you if not for the unfortunate business involving the nosy ginger sitting across from me.”

“Hey!” Lily protested, abandoning her attempt to flag down the server. “Why not?” Sirius demanded at the same time. Regulus shrugged and didn’t look up at either outburst.

“I am not nosy,” Lily continued to protest. Remus snorted. She turned a glare on him and he held up his hands in self-defense.

“You marched up and practically demanded his life story. I was on the phone and felt secondhand embarrassment for your drunk ass,” Remus responded. Lily seemed to consider his words and shrugged. Finally, the server noticed her attempts to get his attention.

“Hi, I would like the greasiest tuna melt you got and a milkshake,” she told him leaning heavily on the back of the bench. He nodded and turned to the rest of them.

“I’ll also have a milkshake and because my drunk friend failed to clarify, both of those should be strawberry, please,” Remus told the poor man. He pulled out a pad of paper.

“That sounds good, I’ll have one too. Reg when did you eat last?” Barty asked. Regulus seemed to consider this for a moment and shrugged.

“Poke,” Regulus answered as though it was hard to remember. Barty made a face that did not look pleased.

“That was dinner last night, what happened to the granola bar and lunch I packed you?” Barty asked. Regulus shrugged again, picking at his cuticles.

“Forgot,” he muttered.

“Can we also get a BLT and chips with the mayo on the side?” Barty asked the server and got a nod.

“Just another coffee for me,” Sirius ordered, handing over the menus.

“Yes, all the coffee,” Regulus perked up. Barty frowned but didn’t argue. The server walked away.

“So, why didn’t you tell me you were back in London?” Sirius asked as Lily drank more of her coffee and the silence spiraled again.

“We kind of left things in a bad spot. I didn’t think us being on the same island and in the same city would have been a welcome revelation,” Regulus answered as the server returned with water and coffees.

“Has anyone ever told you, sir, you are a god?” Lily asked, looking up at him with adoration as he filled her cup. He looked visibly uncomfortable.

“Lils,” Remus scolded. “I’m so sorry she is drunk but ultimately harmless. You have a boyfriend,” he reminded her.

“Jamie and I aren’t boyfriends. We’re two people who are thinking about banging,” Lily responded leaning against Remus heavily. “Besides Jamie is all straight-laced, are you into pegging?” The server turned bright red and walked away.

“Jesus Christ,” Remus muttered, his own face burning. Sirius was watching the exchange with a look of concern on his face but it was Regulus’ laugh that took them by surprise.

“She’s a fun drunk,” Regulus commented while taking a sip of the coffee. Barty was watching Regulus with open affection. “So yes I didn’t tell you I was back in London. I assumed you read the paper.”

“Who has the focus for that kind of pursuit?” Sirius asked shortly. Remus raised his hand as did Barty.

“Of course, I steer clear of the society pages and his name wouldn’t have meant much to me even a month ago,” Remus placed a straw in a glass for Lily and held the glass steady while she took a drink. Dorcas had not let them know how drunk Lily was before dropping her off and catching an Uber home.

“Is Jamie busy tonight? I miss him…” Lily asked the table at large. She struggled to get her phone out of the teeny tiny pockets of her skirt.

“Absolutely not. Friends don’t let friends text drunk,” Remus wrested the phone out of her hands and immediately passed it to Sirius who passed it to Regulus. The young man looked at the small device in his hands then Lily and immediately passed it to Barty who tucked it into a bag with the practiced ease of someone who took whatever was handed to him.

“Give,” she demanded, holding out her hand.

“Sorry hun, I’m inclined to agree with the others at the table and you don’t have a hope of charming it off me. I’m immune to this one,” Barty jerked his head at Regulus. He got a scowl from Regulus. Lily glanced at the other man and sank back against the booth.

“He’s cuter than me,” she bemoaned to Remus. He patted her hand.

“What happened to not cheating on people you were seeing?” Remus asked. She shrugged.

“James didn’t kiss me after our last date,” she pouted.

“He’s half-convinced you’re still ready to kill him,” Sirius pointed out.

“Is he still a total dork?” Regulus asked.

“Just because he didn’t like you back,” Sirius needled.

“Shut up, that is ancient history. I literally don’t even care anymore. If he wants to be straight he can go be f*cking straight. He could have f*cking figured it out before kissing me though,” Regulus hissed throwing up his hands. Lily sat up properly. “No, Gingey, I will not be giving out details. It was the single most humiliating thing that has ever happened to me.”

“Babe, have you taken your meds?” Barty broke in gently. Regulus huffed.

“Don’t know, were they in the lunch you packed?” Regulus still sounded annoyed. Barty nodded. “Then no.”

“And this is why I carry extras,” Barty dug through his bag and pulled out a small container. He poured a small handful of pills into Regulus’ hand and removed the mug. “We’ve talked about taking your Adderall with coffee. Water, it’s good for you.” Regulus’ scowl was so deep it almost looked carved. He sipped the water and swallowed the pills.

“Mother and Father are just as horrible as ever,” Regulus seemed to deflate. He picked at his cuticles until Barty’s hand came up to cover them. Remus realized all at once Regulus was also neurodivergent and stemming hard. “They’re trying this new thing of being super supportive because Barty is in the same circles and sh*t but I can feel them flinch every time we show the least bit of attention to each other in public.”

“I’m surprised they didn’t offer money for you to disappear,” Sirius commented as the server returned with their order. He placed it all on the table and placed the check in the middle of the table before scurrying off.

“You traumatized him,” Remus scolded Lily. She simply blew her straw wrapper at him and immediately picked up the glass of pink liquid. Remus hoped they didn’t end up wearing it.

“They tried. I tore up the check and refused to disappear,” Barty answered easily enough. He took the extra plate out from under his milkshake, dried it off, and moved the chips off of Regulus’ plate. He opened the sandwich and rearranged it so the bacon was on top of the lettuce instead of the tomato and added some mayo. Regulus gave him a grateful smile. “I’ve been dealing with disapproving parents my whole life. Your parents don’t even rank in the top ten.”

“Oh, that’s right. Your dad is the super-conservative politician who tried to make gay marriage illegal,” Sirius seemed to just remember. Barty also dunked his straw in the pink drink and moved Lily’s glass away from the edge of the table almost absently.

“Joke’s on him though, eh Reg?” Barty asked and Regulus looked up with his mouth full. Barty offered him a napkin.

“I guess,” Regulus spoke in the same unsure manner as Sirius, basically telling Remus that he had checked out of the conversation as soon as he had food in his mouth. “Your dad is a right twat,” he continued, seeming to catch back up. “You really need to read the newspaper.” This was said to Sirius.

“Why?” Sirius asked and Regulus gave an annoyed scoff.

“If you read the newspaper you would know that Barty proposed at Mother’s Easter do and she just about had an aneurysm,” Regulus replied.

“And good old dad went on a prolonged holiday in the country to avoid the press,” Barty added. Lily snorted.

“I remember that article. ‘Bartemius Crouch Jr. son of the highly conservative parliament member Bartemius Crouch Sr. made a public declaration of intent to marry Regulus Black, son of the wealthy Black family.’ I didn’t read the full article, it seemed like an excuse to gay bash,” Lily tittered, reaching over to braid Remus’ hair. It was too short for her liking. She climbed out of the booth and made her way to sit next to Sirius. His hair seemed much more to her liking.

“Had you read the full article you would have known who I was as soon as I said my name. They mentioned Sirius in that article. Apparently, you are the ‘Highly controversial, reclusive artist’,” Regulus concluded after he placed his napkin on his empty plate and started in on the chips.

“I should get that put on a t-shirt,” Sirius considered as he tipped his head so drunk Lily had more access. “Controversial, reclusive artist.”

“Why would you get your title put on a t-shirt?” Remus asked.

“Brat,” Sirius reprimanded but with affection in his tone. “Congratulations on your engagement.”

“Thanks,” Regulus answered. He hesitated and glanced over at Barty. He seemed to take courage from the nod given by the other. “I wanted to tell you when I got back and even more after the engagement but I know how you feel about the whole family. I didn’t want to drag you back in… I want you around for all of it… If you’re willing.” Regulus sounded a bit scared and young. Sirius brushed off Lily’s hands ignoring her annoyed noise.

“Of course I’ll be there for you,” Sirius answered, and in a move that seemed to surprise both of them hugged Regulus. Regulus stiffened and relaxed when Barty touched his elbow.

“Um… good. Also, don’t do that,” Regulus babbled and Sirius frowned. “I don’t really like being touched when I am already on the edge of sensory overload, which is like, anywhere in public.” Sirius' face immediately went apologetic. Lily moved back next to Remus, dejected, and started on her sandwich. Barty once again caught her glass and moved it away from the edge of the table.

“A politician’s son,” Sirius shook his head when they moved on from the unintentional consent violation. “Who would have thought you would grow up to be so… respectable.” He seemed to roll the word about in his mouth, tasting it and not much enjoying the flavor.

“One of us had to be,” Regulus shot back. His temper seemed much closer to the surface than Sirius'.

“I work very hard not to be respectable. If someone called me respectable I would strip naked and streak through whatever, just to prove them wrong,” Sirius spoke as though this was an objective fact of the universe. “Besides, I prefer cute Welsh boys, not posh Londoners.” Remus met his eyes even as his cheeks pinked up.

“Not originally from London but fair shout, plus Remus seems like a catch. However, it seems to be a good thing I have the hots for the little brother,” Barty responded evenly.

“Oh god, don’t ever say that again,” Regulus groaned, finishing off his chips, stacking his plates neatly.

“I mean, he’s not wrong, I might switch allegiances,” Remus taunted, flashing a wink and a kiss at Regulus.

“I would hurt you,” Regulus threatened but with his own teasing wink. Barty snorted.

“You all suck,” Sirius pouted.

“He would probably like it,” Lily muttered finishing off her milkshake. Remus turned even redder.

“Good to know both Black brothers are sad*sts,” Barty muttered. He pulled out hand sanitizer offering it to Regulus. Regulus shook his head.

“I’m going to wash my hands and face,” Regulus said instead. He stood and leaned over to kiss Barty on the cheek. It was a cute absent gesture that spoke of deep affection. “And where do you think we got our sad*st nature? Courtesy of our mother,” Regulus informed Barty. He wandered off toward the bathroom. Sirius picked up the check and glanced around for their server. He appeared as though summoned.

“Could we get a box since I think Lily is crashing with us tonight?” Sirius asked, gesturing to the still nearly full plate while handing his credit card to the young man. The server nodded and exited again. Remus really felt for him. He shouldn’t have to deal with this chaos on his shift.

“Whatever tip you are planning on giving him, double it,” Remus informed Sirius.

“I was thinking of just giving him a tip for as much as the ticket,” Sirius responded.

“Good. Lils, did you drive?” Remus asked his drunk friend and she nodded. She dug in her skirt pocket again and frowned. She then grabbed her jacket and freed a parking lot ticket, shoving it into Remus’ face.

“Her parking expires in an hour,” Remus commented reading the half-faded ink on the ticket she gave him.

“I can’t leave the bike here overnight,” Sirius informed him and Remus frowned. They couldn’t let Lily drive and Remus knew if they left the car or the bike something would get towed.

“If you need an extra driver, I would happily take the drunk girl and her car to wherever and have Reg follow me,” Barty offered, seeming to pick up on the fact that Remus didn’t drive.

“I don’t get in cars with random men,” Lily replied as the server returned with a box and the credit card. “You sir are a gentleman and a scholar,” she complimented him. He mumbled a thanks and sped off again.

“Well, I am not random and also gay not to mention happily engaged. I promise one car ride with me and you’ll leave with more honor and culture, not less, fair maiden,” Barty offered and took her hand to kiss it.

“Don’t know who the f*ck is lying ‘bout me but I am not a virgin,” Lily responded crossly and swatted his hands away. Remus placed her food in the box while Sirius scribbled on the check. “Fine, politician’s son can drive my car but you are ‘splaining this to Jamie when my car smells like his expensive cologne.”

*~*

Chapter 30: Dw I’n Hoffi Coffi

Chapter Text

TW: mentions of past child abuse

“Did you know he had a brother?” Lily asked Remus when he unlocked the door the next morning. Remus yawned into his hand and held open the heavy door for her.

“I did not know that he had a brother,” Remus answered tiredly, the day was going to be long that much was already obvious. Lily was going to spend the day interrogating him.

“Why wouldn’t he tell you?” Lily asked, flipping on the lights. Remus shrugged out of his jacket and hung up his bag before clocking in.

“Everyone has secrets and we have only been dating for a month. Beyond that it didn’t seem like they were on the best terms before last night,” Remus pointed out unlocking the safe so he could unlock the walk in.

“Yeah but this is kind of a big thing to keep secret. James knew I had a sister within our first date,” Lily pointed out, starting to pull down the chairs while Remus pulled out the cold items to stock the fridge with.

“If he hadn’t brought you petunias would he have found out about your sister. I mean how many dates do you open up with information about her?” Remus asked, making sure all the open containers of milk had labels on them.

“Most of my dates knew within a few dates that I had a sister I was rather cross with,” Lily responded. “Did he tell you why he doesn’t talk to him?”

“No, but I was also tactful enough not to ask. Family is complicated. He doesn’t ask many questions about tad and mam, I don’t ask many questions about his estranged or chosen family. I know Effie and Monty practically adopted him, I don’t know why and I don’t know why Regulus wasn’t included in that process,” Remus responded. He started checking the water levels in the machines.

Lily was silent for a moment. The only sound was the click as she set the chairs on the floor and the water as Remus added it to the reservoir. “Oh come on, don’t you want to know?” she demanded finally standing in the middle of the room with her hands on her hips.

“Of course I do. I want to know everything about Sirius,” Remus answered calmly. He looked up at Lily. “I am also aware of how people and relationships work. You don’t just demand a life story from someone. There is a reason he didn’t tell me about his brother. Hopefully eventually that reason will go away.”

Did that sound convincing? He didn’t want Lily to see right through him. He didn’t want to admit to anyone, even himself, that Sirius not telling him about Regulus had opened up a bit of insecurity in him. Why wouldn’t Sirius tell him about that?

“You know in anyone else this confidence would be convincing and very much look like a healthy relationship but I have known you your entire life Remus. I know when you’re full of sh*t,” Lily informed him, gathering up the sweetener caddies and taking them over to the restock counter to fill them properly.

“You know if you want to know all this stuff why don’t you ask James. It’s likely he got a front row seat to it since it was his family that took Sirius in after all,” Remus informed her, checking the next machine and wiping up a spot that had been missed by the closers.

“Why would I ask my boyfriend about your boyfriend? You are supposed to know all about your boyfriend and tell me, the best friend, all about it,” Lily commented tossing out a few empty sugar packets.

“Oh so last night he wasn’t the boyfriend but now he is?” Remus asked, hoping to distract Lily. He gathered up the pods for the espresso machine stacking them meticulously so they could just grab and go later. Lily tossed a wooden stir stick at him. It missed and Remus bent down to pick it up.

“You can’t hold last night against me. I was so drunk,” Lily responded carefully, arranging each caddy to have a few stir sticks in it. Remus passed her a tray so she could balance them all together.

“Oh, I am so going to hold that against you. I knew exactly how drunk you were, as did everyone else at the table. Barty texted me when he dropped you off saying you propositioned him in the car. So let’s recap with the server and Sirius' brother’s fiancé. The only thing that would have been more inappropriate would have been propositioning me,” Remus told her. She stacked a finished caddy on the tray, while he finished the last of the stocking behind the counter while leveling her with a look.

“Why would I proposition you? I know what your dick looks like, I like new dicks when I am sh*t faced,” Lily answered in a see through attempt as being casual. Her face was far too red for it to work. Remus just huffed a sigh and went to go check the bins, making sure the night crew took them out properly, they did.

“I’ll be sure to tell James that and also hide my boyfriend when you are sh*t faced,” Remus commented, making sure to close the doors properly before going back behind the counter. Lily stacked another caddy on the tray. Remus pulled the syrups down, wiping each bottle to make sure it wasn’t sticky and the label was proper.

“Why would a guy who likes me not try to kiss me after a date?” Lily asked finally. Remus didn’t look up from the caramel syrup.

“Why would a guy who likes me not tell me about his brother?” Remus returned. “We’re dating mysteries and as daft as they seem James and Sirius have a lot of layers and baggage. Beyond that James probably still thinks of you as the rude barista who gave him barbed comments for months.”

“I’m still mean to him,” Lily responded defiantly. Remus put the caramel syrup on the shelf and reached for the next one. Lily stacked another caddy on the tray.

“Why didn’t you just kiss him? You’re the one always on about the 21st century and women’s rights and equality,” Remus pointed out stacking the last container of syrup on the shelf. Lily sighed and made her way across the shop to get another box of the Splenda packets. Remus started sorting through their tea stacking several varieties near the drip machine. Everything in the morning was about convenience.

“I don’t know,” she finally muttered, tucking a few packets into another caddy and using a rag to wipe off what looked like a bit of jam from the corner. “I just didn’t.”

“Have you talked to him about it?” Remus asked moving to help her with the caddies. It went much faster with the two of them working through it. She made a face.

“No. And before you bring it up, yes I’m aware that nothing is solved without talking but it’s stupid and I hate the whole thing,” she muttered picking up the tray of now full caddies. Remus stepped back to get sleeves of paper cups, lids, and heat sleeves from the back. Lily joined him behind the counter to help him sort them out. Remus didn’t respond and Lily sighed again. “Fine I’ll talk to him when he comes by for his daily infusion of caffeine.”

“Should we be giving them our employee discount at this point? They’re here about as often as we are and spend loads of time with us.” Remus wondered and Lily snorted.

“They are rich enough to pay full price for their coffee,” Lily returned and Remus snorted this time. She was right, but...

“If we give them our discount, more of their money goes to the tip jar,” He reasoned, causing her to stop and ponder the idea. It lasted all of a few moments before they laughed and shook off the idea. Finally, opening duties were finished and Remus opened the door for the morning crowd.

--

Remus glanced up when the bell went off over the door and closed his book as a familiar duo came in. “Hey,” Sirius greeted him lightly while he rang up James’ drink.

“Rem you got this?” Lily asked after she pulled James’ drink. Remus waved her off. She took James’ hand and led him back to the employee locker room.

“What’s that about?” Sirius asked.

“They’re either going to shag or break up,” Remus responded blandly, pulling two shots and adding hazelnut syrup to the mix before steaming some milk. He wasn’t up for confounding Sirius with something complicated today. “I reminded Lily that if she is displeased with the state of her relationship she should probably talk to the current paramour about it.”

“You know when you use big words like that it makes me want to throw you over the counter,” Sirius informed him as his coffee was handed to him.

“I have no problems with flirting on the clock but if you have sex on my counters I will have to let you go,” Aberforth spoke from just off to the side where he was going over their paperwork.

“Oh, yeah, my boss is right here,” Remus informed Sirius who leaned over the counter to see Aberforth there. The man in question looked up fixing them both with a look over the top of his horn-rimmed glasses. “I’m going to tell Hagrid you’re using your professor look again.”

“You should know better than to hit on a married man,” Aberforth scolded and Remus placed a hand over his heart.

“Oh yes, scold me just like that. Married and respectable just makes it so much better,” Remus twittered. Aberforth tossed a scrunched-up piece of paper at him. “Can I take a fifteen?” he asked and Aberforth nodded. Remus dumped his apron on the counter and ducked out from behind the counter with his own cup of coffee.

“No tea this time?” Sirius asked as they stepped outside to get some fresh air. Remus shook his head. “I didn’t think you liked coffee.”

“I taught you how to make proper coffee. How is that someone who doesn’t like coffee?” Remus asked hoisting himself to sit on a low stone wall. Sirius stood in front of him with an arm on either side of his hips. Remus could smell cigarette smoke, leather, and now, hazelnut.

“Don’t know, just assumed since you never drank it at work…” Sirius shrugged and leaned in. Remus met him halfway for a kiss.

“You know what they say about assuming,” Remus taunted. Sirius narrowed his eyes but Remus simply gave him a mild smile. “Dw i’n hoffi coffi.” Sirius gave a huff and leaned in again.

“Naughty boy speaking Welsh when I am unable to do anything about it,” Sirius scolded. Remus allowed himself to be kissed breathless.

“It’s like you're fond of reminding me, anticipation,” Remus informed him. Sirius' eyes narrowed but he didn’t say anything else. They continued to flirt, tease and kiss like teenagers before Remus’ fifteen was up and he made his way back to the coffeehouse. Sirius sat at the counter so he could chat with Remus while they waited for Lily and James to come out of the locker room.

Remus had to leave the conversation a few times to grab orders and pull drinks. He was very aware of grey eyes on him the whole time. It led to a nasty moment with the milk steamer. He shouldn’t be so klutzy just because his boyfriend was watching him.

Lily and James emerged a bit later. Lily looked pink-faced and her hair was messier than it had been. James just looked a little gob smacked. “Tacky,” Sirius informed both of them.

“One to talk, mentions putting my morning lead over the counter,” Aberforth pointed out. Sirius didn’t flush but he did fall silent at James’ snigg*rs.

“Dinner tonight?” James asked her and she nodded. “Are you coming to the parents’ tonight?” James asked Sirius, guessing he was going to wait out Remus’ shift at this point. Sirius glanced at Remus.

“Oh umm… I mean I don’t want to make it a big deal…” Remus muttered remembering the last time. He didn’t want Euphemia to go to all the effort to make him a separate meal.

“Tell mum my spice-intolerant boyfriend will be there tonight,” Sirius rolled his eyes at Remus and turned back to James. James nodded and gave a wave before wandering off.

“In the locker room really Lily?” Remus asked as soon as the door closed. She shrugged even as her face flamed to almost the same color as her hair.

“I mean I got my kiss,” she informed Remus with a cheeky grin. She bit her lip, waggled her eyebrows, and moved to refill the milk on the far counter. Remus settled behind the counter with his book.

“Five quid says they are living together next year,” Sirius commented and Remus rolled his eyes.

“I’m not stupid enough to take a bet I know I will lose,” Remus responded. Aberforth gave a low chuckle.

“Five quid says she moves for the dog and not the bloke,” Aberforth chimed in.

“You both are rude,” Remus informed them but watched as Lily hummed while she worked. He was glad she was finding what she wanted. She deserved it.

--

“Ah Sirius,” Euphemia greeted enthusiastically and pulled Sirius into a hug. Sirius hugged her back and accepted the cheek kisses. Remus was subjected to a hug as well. He said subjected to but honestly he welcomed it gratefully. “You can cook right?” she asked and Remus nodded. “Good, you can help me make something that won’t kill you.”

Remus was about to argue but he was chivvied into the kitchen and an apron was draped over him. He glanced over at Sirius who shrugged. “You should have said no,” Sirius responded, making his way to the table to hug Fleamont.

“Oh are we torturing Remus fun times,” Fleamont set down a tablet he was reading from.

“I don’t believe in lying,” Remus fired back as Euphemia gestured for him to take free reign of the kitchen.

“Most of the things in this kitchen are vegetarian or pescatarian because of how often we cook for Sirius. All things are peanut-free,” Euphemia informed him. Remus chewed on his lip and got an eyebrow raise from Sirius. He gave him a scowl. It wasn’t appropriate for that single eyebrow to so effectively remind him of the rules.

Finally, he took it at face value and pulled out something his mam used to make when it was a bit stormy and she had to feed a few more people than usual because Remus had brought home friends. He had just added the garlic, lentils, and tomato paste when Lily and James came in. “Oh it smells good in here,” Lily gushed as soon as she stepped in. She looked pretty. In complete contrast to the nights she went out to the bars, she was wearing a soft cotton t-shirt with a long open cardigan on top and jeans. Her bright hair was pulled back in two braids. “Oh Rem, are you making your mam’s mushroom and lentil pasta?” she made her way over to the stove.

“Save me,” he whispered to her in Welsh, stirring with the wooden spoon.

“Not a chance. Cooking for the parents, what could be better,” she whispered back and gave him a friendly squeeze before going to hug Euphemia. It was a bit of an involved process but Euphemia was willing to help Remus as much or as little as he wanted. Fleamont led a spirited conversation at the table.

“He’s smitten with you,” Euphemia spoke softly leaning on the counter as Remus continued to stir, adding a bit of veggie stock. Remus glanced over at Sirius who gave him a quick smile before turning to answer James.

“I don’t know why,” Remus answered honestly, crushing a tomato beneath the spoon. Euphemia tutted.

“No one ever knows what’s going on in that head of his. I’ve known him since he was eleven and I am happy to call him my son now but even I don’t know what he’s thinking. You’re good for him though. I haven’t seen him this focused in years. He functions well enough but damn the kid is scattered,” Euphemia surprised Remus with the frank assessment.

Remus swallowed and looked over at the woman. It seemed like an opportunity too perfect to pass up. Should he ask her? It seemed like a big thing to ask Sirius' family to spill his secrets. “What happened with his parents?” Remus asked softly. Euphemia’s eyes darkened slightly. She glanced over at the small group at the table.

“I don’t ask too many questions about his childhood. Jamie likely knows more than Monty and I do. All I know is when he showed up at our doorstep at fifteen with more bruises than skin and a bag I wasn’t about to turn him away,” Euphemia spoke with a deep sadness. Remus’ hand stopped moving and he looked over at her.

“They…” he couldn’t continue. His stomach churned and he glanced back over at Sirius. Sirius had been beaten as a child. They had skirted over the subject, Remus realized he should have guessed as much. Still aside from a few eccentricities Sirius seemed well adjusted.

“Yes. Had I known sooner I would have fought tooth and nail to get him out. I knew about the neglect and I worked hard to give him all the love and affection he was missing but I didn’t know about the physical abuse until that night,” Euphemia’s voice sounded heavy. She passed Remus the pasta. He dumped it into the sauce.

“I met his brother yesterday,” he informed her.

“What did you think of him?” Euphemia asked. Remus found himself thinking through the question and his honest answer. It was easy to talk to Euphemia. She reminded Remus of his own mam. It made his heart ache. This was so much like a conversation he wanted to have with Hope. About the mysterious man he was dating. Could Euphemia offer the same comfort and advice when it was her son’s heart on the line? Would she actually be helpful to Remus or would her loyalty to Sirius outweigh everything else?

“He’s so different that’s for sure,” Remus answered. Euphemia nodded.

“I asked Siri when he came to stay with us if Regulus was being abused too. He told me no they wouldn’t because Regulus was the golden boy. Always doing as was expected and so on. I know it hurt him not to bring him along but he always seemed so sure that Regulus was in the place he wanted to be in,” her brown eyes were far away now. Remus had to remind himself to focus. He didn’t want to burn dinner when she was being so kind to let him cook for them.

“Why would you tell me all of his secrets?” Remus asked her finally. He needed to know what her endgame was. She gave him a soft smile and brushed back his hair.

“Sirius likes you, I’ve never seen the look on his face that he gets when he looks at you, not even when Bastet was a kitten. I like you too. You’re sweet and you’re good for him. You’re also a little bit of a lost boy and apparently I collect those. He forgets to trust and let people in,” Euphemia answered. She stroked Remus’ cheek. “Just don’t hurt him.”

“I don’t plan to,” Remus answered honestly. He turned off the heat under the food. “This is ready. I just need a minute.” Euphemia nodded her understanding and Remus stepped out. The cold air on the porch cleared his head. He couldn’t imagine Sirius bruised, bloodied, defeated showing up on this doorstep just seeking shelter. What could cause parents to turn on their kid like that? Remus didn’t always get on with his tad but he knew with absolute certainty Lyall had never considered hitting him or kicking him out.

*~*

Chapter 31: Lucid

Chapter Text

TW: past child abuse, hate speech (mentions)

Remus joined Sirius at the window as he smoked that night. “What did mum say to you?” Sirius asked, letting out a long plume of smoke. Remus glanced up from his contemplation of his hands. “Normally I wouldn’t ask, the conversations you have with others are your business but it seems like it’s set you on edge.”

Remus dropped his eyes back to his hands and shrugged slightly. “She didn’t set me on edge,” Remus responded. Sirius didn’t interrupt. “She just told me about the night you ran away. I’m wondering what the catalyst was?” Remus asked finally.

Sirius let out a shaky breath. He flicked the ash into an ashtray. Remus peaked up through his lashes. “I came out,” Sirius finally answered. He gave a wry smile. “I was used to at that point feeling her rings across my face when I spoke out of turn or Father’s belt when I really messed up. I don’t know what I was hoping for.”

Remus was staring at Sirius openly now but he was looking over the skyline of the city with unfocused eyes. The hand holding the cigarette was shaking slightly. “We had been let out for the summer holidays. I was joining James and his family in a fortnight. I just had to get through fourteen days in that crypt. Father was going on about ‘damn fa*gs’ and who knows what else. Reg was sitting on the couch nodding along but not saying anything. Mother was adding her own harmful commentary. They both turned to me and asked if I had met any poufs at school. I was never good at saying the right thing. I made a crass joke about yeah usually in their bed after the prefects settled down for the night.”

Sirius looked back over at Remus and ran his fingers over Remus’ cheek softly. “I’m ok love,” he murmured gently. Remus swallowed and tried not to look so horrified. “When they took a break from the physical exertion of beating a fifteen-year-old, Regulus helped me up. He helped me pack a bag and sneak out the back door. I think he knew if I stayed I would be killed. Getting to the Potters that night was horrible. Da paid for the taxi I took. I spent weeks convinced I was going to have to go back.”

Remus took Sirius' hand in his own. “They never even mentioned it. Mum took me to the hospital the next day and got everything checked out. She made sure I did physical therapy, especially for my hands. They took me to the train station for school that following fall,” Sirius looked down at the tremor running through his hand. “It was so odd seeing what a family should be. I was jealous of James growing up but it got worse when I was living here. Like, I knew then and know now that Effie and Monty loved me but he grew up with that perfect assurance.”

Grey eyes were shiny with tears now. “I still feel like an interloper sometimes. Like… I speak French and they speak Punjabi. The food they eat, the clothes they wear… Like, Da talks about us getting married especially when we were younger. It was always James who was going to wear Sherwani and I was going to wear a Tux. I know why that divide exists but it made the otherness of my being there more prominent.”

Remus ran a hand over Sirius' shoulder and decided to go for it. He took the cigarette and stubbed it out before pulling Sirius into a proper hug. Sirius had already supported him through so much, Remus could offer him support for this moment. This was what partners did for each other. Sirius didn’t fight his hold. He just allowed himself to be held. His breath was harsh against Remus’ neck and shoulder. Bastet chirped at the two of them and bumped her head against them until Sirius pulled back with a soft sigh.

“Yes, I know I’m all over the place. What makes you think you need to be involved?” he asked and she meowed at him rubbing against him but her tail wrapped around Remus’ arm. “Of course you’re pretty that’s not the point,” Sirius' long fingers ran down her back over the blue sweater she was wearing and along her spine. “I love you too.” He kissed her wrinkled forehead. He looked up and Remus could see the storm still lingering in his eyes. He could also see Sirius had let down one of his walls.

“So, you’re going to wear a tux to your wedding?” Remus asked and Sirius leaned back against the window frame lighting up again.

“You make it sound like you won’t do the same,” Sirius questioned and Remus shrugged.

“Mam always said Welsh men wore kilts. I would likely wear my family plaid,” Remus answered steadily. He got up and made his way to his bag. He pulled out a bit of fabric he always carried with him. He offered it to Sirius who then examined the colors.

“All you crazies and your traditional garb,” Sirius handed the bit of fabric back. Remus held it out for Bastet to sniff. She did so with interest and then rubbed her cheek against it. “I think you will look very nice.”

“I am sure your tux will look wonderful too,” Remus answered standing to return the scrap of fabric to his bag. They were both skirting around the subject. Neither willing to admit they would like to see the other but neither one discounting it either. Remus returned to the window. Sirius took his hand.

They sat in silence. Sirius lit up and finished his cigarette before closing the window. Before standing he spoke. “Thank you for listening. Not many people let me talk about it. They try to talk through it or whatever,” Sirius had never looked at him with such an open expression before. Remus gave his hand a gentle squeeze.

“Anytime you need to talk, I’m here,” Remus assured him and closed the distance between them to kiss Sirius lightly. Sirius' lips were soft as they molded with his. There was no heat or drive to this kiss, it was the two of them drinking in comfort and support from the other. Remus felt even closer to Sirius than before.

--

Remus grumbled and tried to smack his phone in a way that would get it to shut up. He didn’t succeed, it kept making the annoying chirping noise. It took him a bit to realize that was not his alarm, but the ringtone specifically set up for Poppy. His heart kicked into high gear as he sat up picking up the ringing device. Sirius' arm slipped off his waist but the sleeping man barely stirred. “Poppy, what’s wrong?” Remus answered the phone.

“What a lovely way to greet me, Remus.” she tutted at him. “I called to let you know your Tad is having a lucid day and would like to see you.” Remus felt his heart settle a little. Lyall was himself today.

“Of course. I’ll be there soon,” Remus answered eagerly. Those lucid days with his Tad were his favorite. He missed Lyall so much when he was mentally gone. He wouldn’t squander this for the world. Remus immediately rang Aberforth and got the bear growl of someone who was still asleep and had planned on being that way for a while yet. “I can’t come in today, Tad is having a lucid day.”

Sirius was stirring and blinked up at him with bleary grey eyes. “That’s good Remus. You have a good day with him. Let me know if you need tomorrow too,” Aberforth answered. Remus was once again reminded why he loved working for the kind man. They clicked off.

“You look happy this morning,” Sirius commented, stroking one of Remus’ dimples. He was as sleepy as everyone else, his voice low and rumbly. The only person Remus had spoken to who had sounded awake was Poppy.

“Tad is lucid, come on,” Remus tugged on his arm. Sirius allowed himself to be pulled into a sitting position. Remus gave a squawk as Sirius wrapped an arm around his waist and kissed him deeply. The sheet was pooled around them as they kissed.

“Do you want to introduce me today or would you simply prefer a ride and a pick-up later?” Sirius asked. Remus stroked through Sirius' hair, grateful for the offer.

“Want you to meet him, who knows when he’ll be lucid again,” Remus commented. Sirius nodded.

“I have to call the studio to get some appointments rearranged but we can do that,” Sirius agreed. They got up and got ready for the day. Sirius opted to take the car making a face at Remus when he teased. “Hush up, it has hands-free calling.”

“Ah my rebel boyfriend succumbing to the needs of a car,” Remus continued sliding into the buttery interior. Sirius flipped him off.

“It has a back seat that I might make use of later,” Sirius commented, which worked in turning Remus’ face red but otherwise getting no protest from the other.

“I might let you,” Remus answered as they pulled onto the streets.

“So cute thinking he’s in charge,” Sirius took Remus’ hand over the middle console. Once he was clear of the morning traffic he did make the call. The receptionist on the other end seemed competent but a bit annoyed at the sheer amount of rescheduling now required. Remus couldn’t find it in himself to feel bad. How often was he going to get days like this with his Tad and boyfriend? Sirius was firm in that he would not be coming today due to family things. He knew Sirius called them family to keep from having to answer a whole host of questions but it made Remus’ heart thud a little harder and his stomach swoop.

Finally, the call ended. That warm elegant hand stayed wrapped up in Remus’ as they drove, eventually reaching the houses. Sirius parked on the curb and they both climbed out. Remus let himself through the familiar gate. He’d grown up in this house running through that gate his whole life. This felt different.

Sirius made it different. He was already so important in Remus’ life. What if his Tad didn’t like him? What if Sirius didn’t like Lyall? Remus swallowed against his nerves and let himself into the warm house. He could smell breakfast lingering and followed the voices he could hear to the kitchen. Poppy was scolding Lyall about something. The man in question was leaning against the counter drinking coffee.

“Rem my boy,” Lyall’s voice was so full of warmth. It made Remus feel like a kid all over again. Usually, he had to pretend to be a close friend, not family.

“Tad,” he muttered and was enveloped in a tight hug. He used to tell Lyall he was getting too tall to be hugged like this. Lyall had never taken him seriously. Remus was always so grateful for that.

The familiar scent of Lyall’s cologne and the old leather of his favorite armchair along with the slight smell of old man and his medicine made Remus strangely nostalgic. “God you’ve grown,” Lyall said when they eased back and he examined Remus’ face. Remus blinked against tears. “How much have I missed this time?”

This was always the worst part. Lyall knew he was living in his head most days so when he was lucid they all knew they were working with a ticking bomb. “Not as much as I know you want for me,” Remus commented. He glanced back at Sirius who was giving them space and a moment.

“Gary White?” Lyall’s voice was surprised. Remus’ brow wrinkled.

“Umm… no sir, Sirius Black,” that honeyed cultured voice corrected as he stepped forward. His right hand extended and his left came to rest on Remus’ lower back. That simple touch was amazingly grounding.

Lyall took his hand bemused. “You look like an old friend of mine. Gary White,” Lyall seemed to examine Sirius for a long moment. “I’m Lyall.”

“Remus speaks of you fondly,” Sirius responded. Lyall’s eyes noticed the light touch between them and nodded.

“I’m glad he has someone,” Lyall answered and chuffed Remus’ cheek affectionately. “Are you boys hungry?”

“Sirius is always hungry,” Remus commented. Lyall automatically glanced toward Poppy.

“Incorrigible man… Go get some fresh air I’ll bring out a few plates,” she waved them off. They stepped onto the balcony and Lyall settled in one of the waterproof chairs looking out over the backyard. The tire swing Remus and Lily had spent summers in was still hanging from a sturdy branch.

“How have things been?” Lyall asked Remus. Remus shrugged, settling next to Lyall. His fingers wound with Sirius' as they settled there.

“Ab and Hagrid got married,” Remus told him.

“Your boss at the coffee shop?” Lyall clarified and got a hum in response. “How long were they together before?” he asked shifting in the same way Remus did when he was trying to ease tension across a sore joint.

“Too long,” Remus commented. “Both of them talk about when they had to pretend to be roommates because being together was illegal.” Lyall made a sound in the back of his throat. Remus smiled. His parents had always been his biggest allies and never understood how anyone could try to outlaw love.

“How’s Lily?” Lyall asked. He had always liked Lily. He had liked her loyalty to Remus and her sassy spirit.

“She’s doing so well. She’s actually dating Sirius' friend…” Remus glanced at Sirius.

“As good a descriptor as any,” Sirius shrugged. Remus agreed, that was a whole complicated mess. If he had days with his Tad, or perhaps if Lyall wasn’t fading from the world Remus would have taken the time to explain.

“James is completely besotted,” Remus continued, turning back to Lyall. The man was watching them interact with a peculiar expression on his face. Remus took a moment to catalog and identify it. Fondness.

“Of course he is. Lily is a great girl,” Lyall responded, taking Remus’ free hand in his own. His hand was wrinkled with loose skin marked with age spots and dark veins but was still warm and reassuring in Remus’. “How did you two meet?” he asked.

“Sirius was deeply inappropriate at my job,” Remus answered, not even bothering to hide the exasperated tone in his voice. Sirius tutted at him while Lyall grinned showing off a little of the young man in the old pictures.

“You have to change the opening line of our story. It makes me sound like a creep,” Sirius told him in a mock stern voice.

“Cariad, you were a little bit of a creep,” Remus informed him sweetly. Sirius made a face at him. Remus gave his hand a gentle squeeze and turned back to Lyall. There was that expression on his face again. Remus told Lyall the abbreviated version of Sirius' bad attempts at flirting and how it had won him over anyway. Poppy joined them with food and coffee soon after.

“So who is Gary White?” Remus asked as Sirius lit up and got a stern look from Poppy. He scooted further from the others. She didn’t drop the look until Sirius put out the cigarette.

“Smoking kills,” she informed Sirius.

“So does living,” he replied sarcastically. Remus pinched his leg. “Sorry, that was rude.” Poppy sniffed disapprovingly in the specific way that only a British woman could.

“Gary White was a friend of mine around when I first met your mam. In fact, he dated her first,” Lyall answered, seeming to ignore his nurse scolding his son’s boyfriend. “Looks a fair bit like Sirius. Every time I look over I get transported back to when I was twenty-five and completely taken by the pretty brunette who always rode by on her bike with daffodils in her hair.”

Remus loved when Lyall would talk about Hope. The deep love and affection that he still had for her was amazing to witness. “He left for the navy. Asked her to wait for him. She might have if I hadn’t come along like a scoundrel.” Remus had never heard this story.

Hope had told him how they met and fell in love. The way she told it she was getting out of a relationship with another and Lyall made her feel happy again. He hadn’t known the relationship had ended because of his Tad. He hadn’t known the two men were friends. “We cleaned up the story when we had you,” Lyall nodded to Remus.

“Gary, understandably, did not appreciate me moving in on his bird. We fought horribly. I ended up with a black eye and he got a broken nose. Hope was so furious with both of us. She dumped him and me in the same speech and stormed off,” Lyall was lost in memories now. Remus held onto each word, they were precious to him. There would be a day when these days wouldn’t happen. When Lyall would slip away into his mind and not come back. Remus would take every day he could to listen to his tad’s stories.

“Gary and I reconciled our differences over beer that night. He returned to his military career and got married a year later. Had seven kids with a nice Scottish lass,” Lyall nodded, evidently happy for his old friend. “Your mam made me wait a whole week before she spoke to me again. She made me work for it, I tell you what.”

“Seems like a theme,” Sirius knocked his shoulder into Remus’. Remus stuck his tongue out at him.

“Should have made you work harder, you seem to take it for granted that I will just be there,” Remus taunted him, tipping his nose in the air. Sirius shoved his shoulder again just as Lyall tweaked his hair.

“Is your flat still working for you?” Lyall asked as Remus relaxed again. Remus felt his good mood slip slightly.

“The management company sold the building and I had to move,” Remus admitted. Sirius' hands stopped him when he started picking at his cuticles. He wasn’t sure why admitting this was so difficult. He hadn’t lost the flat because of a lack of rent or some other failing, the world had decided to conspire against him. The worry on Lyall’s face reminded him of why he didn’t want to say anything. He never wanted to worry his Tad or Poppy, they both had enough to be getting on with.

“That’s rough. Did you find a new place alright?” Lyall asked and Remus cleared his throat.

“Rem and I were spending a bit too much time at my place and missed the initial notice. When I realized my monopolizing of his time put him behind on things like finding a new place I offered to let him stay with me for the time being,” Sirius broke in smoothly. Remus found he was grateful for that. It sounded so simple coming from Sirius.

Lyall appraised Sirius for several long moments. Sirius for his part didn’t flinch, he met Lyall’s hazel eyes with his own easily. There was nothing combative about the stare but Remus felt like something was being determined in that moment. “It’s about time Remus had someone to look after him. Heaven knows he’s been looking after everyone else and their dog for years.”

“I’ve said nearly the same thing. I’ll take care of him as long as he allows,” Sirius responded, running a hand over Remus’ sandy fringe. Remus flushed in pleasure at the idea, fidgeting with the necklace idly.

“Don’t worry about moving too fast. You get that from your mam, she moved in with me after only two months of dating,” Lyall patted Remus’ shoulder gently. “Now, come kick my arse at chess so I know this isn’t a dream.” Lyall stood heavily taking Poppy’s arm gratefully.

*~*

Chapter 32: No Filter

Chapter Text

Remus hated the end of lucid days. He could see the sundowning almost as clearly as Poppy. “Do you want to leave before he completely checks out?” Poppy asked softly as Remus placed his mug in the sink.

“Seems a bit rude,” Remus commented. Poppy gave him the look.

“Remus you are allowed to take care of yourself and you know how he is after a lucid day,” Poppy reminded him. Remus knew she was right. Lyall’s mood went down with his lucidity. Remus hated seeing the consciousness fade out of Lyall and his mood sour.

Remus stepped back into the living room. Sirius was sitting on the couch completely at ease and Lyall was talking to him like an old friend. “We should head out,” Remus broke in when Lyall reached a pause.

“Well, it was nice to see you both. Gary come around more,” Lyall stood. His sundowning was definitely progressing. His lucidity was enough that he gave Remus a vague kiss on the cheek and a hug. Remus would take it, most days he didn’t even get that. They made their way out to the car.

“You ok?” Sirius asked softly as his phone chirped. Remus shrugged fidgeting with the edges of his sleeves. He liked the sweaters Sirius had bullied him into. They could stand up to him tugging on the hems and fidgeting with the seams.

“James?” Remus asked as Sirius frowned at his phone.

“Regulus,” Sirius corrected. “Wants to meet for dinner. I don’t think tonight would be a good time.” Remus immediately made a noise in the back of his throat.

“I’m fine Sirius. If you want to go see your brother for dinner I can kick about the flat for the evening on my own. Might snoop and see if I can find your p*rn,” Remus commented and quicksilver eyes left the screen to meet his, a smile already curving those lips.

“My p*rn is on my computer, who has physical p*rn anymore?” Sirius asked, his hand grabbing Remus’, a thumb smoothing over the back of the large, scarred hand. “Beyond that, I think the invitation was for both of us. I just don’t want to make you deal with more family stuff.”

“Hush your face. You’ve been estranged from your brother for too long and I don’t feel like cooking tonight,” Remus argued back. Sirius' fingers squeezed his gently before returning to his phone.

“Do you want to head home and change first?” Sirius asked and Remus shook his head. Sirius entered an address into the GPS. They were silent for a long time. “You two are very similar, you know.”

Remus glanced over at Sirius having gotten lost in his own thoughts as the city flashed by the window. He made an inquisitive noise in his throat. “You and Lyall, you’re very similar. I can see why losing him to his own mind is hard,” Sirius continued. Remus frowned.

“Not many people think I’m similar to Tad. I’ve been told I’m like my mam in many ways,” Remus responded. “I spent most of my childhood with her. She was a wild woman. She had very little patience for the city, or makeup or shoes. Actually just social convention in general. My school attendance was very shoddy in the early years because she would just forget I had class and we would wander into the wilderness to forage for mushrooms.”

“Drugs so young. Interesting for the straight-laced Remus,” Sirius commented. Remus shoved his shoulder. Sirius simply laughed and took Remus’ hand over the center console.

“I don’t know if she was looking for hallucinogenic mushrooms or not. We looked for ones that would be good in and for food. If she did look for drugs she never let on,” Remus pointed out. He wasn’t even sure if the mushrooms usually associated with drug trips grew in this area. It wouldn’t have surprised him though, it would have been very on-brand for his hippie mother. It was her stash of weed that he and Lily had used to get high the first time.

“You should show me sometime how to identify non-dangerous mushrooms,” Sirius suggested and Remus considered this.

“I don’t think I would be comfortable with that. I would be too worried about f*cking it up,” Remus disagreed. “Last time I went foraging I was like 13-14. No one has really compared me to Tad.”

Sirius glanced over. “You both have an academic side to you. Watching you beat him in chess was funny. He gets the same furrow between his brows that you get when I frustrate you,” Sirius commented. “He’s also mellower than you and reminds you to loosen up.”

“I’m plenty loose, thank you very much,” Remus argued, crossing his arms over his chest. Sirius huffed a laugh.

“It’s cute you think so but you are a tight ass if I’ve ever met one,” Sirius responded.

“You like my tight ass,” Remus retorted, not having another response. Sirius gave another laugh.

“True enough,” Sirius answered. Quiet stole over the car again. It wasn’t uncomfortable. It helped Remus process the day and he was thankful that Sirius seemed to recognize his need at that moment.

“Of course he would live here,” Sirius scoffed at the large modern building before searching out a parking spot.

“As opposed to the monstrous building you live in,” Remus informed him, fidgeting with the cuffs of his sweater. Once again these people had too much money. He was out of place, someone was going to think he was the help. In most cases he was and he was comfortable with that kind of invisibility. Being on Sirius' arm made sure a very bright light was on him at all times.

“My place has soul. This is all plastic,” Sirius griped and Remus looked up at the building again.

“Actually I think it’s more glass, which is just sand,” Remus commented and Sirius rolled his eyes at him pulling into a space that Remus could have sworn was too small for this car. Sirius climbed out of the car. Remus took a deep breath, made sure he had his inhaler, and climbed out as well.

“We’re here to see Regulus Black,” Sirius said to the man at the front desk. He took in both of them and sniffed disapprovingly.

“I’m going to need to see identification,” his accent was pointed and obviously fake. It sounded a bit like nails on a chalkboard with its harsh edge. Remus dug out his wallet as did Sirius. The man took the two cards and examined them at length. “Mr. Crouch informed us of your arrival. The lift is just down there and you’ll take it to the eighteenth floor, sir.” The contemptuous sneer on the word had Sirius tensing. Remus grabbed his arm and led him away.

“Not tonight Sirius please,” Remus spoke softly as he practically hauled Sirius away from the desk.

“Can’t believe he needed to see my ID. We look like the same person,” Sirius ranted as they reached the elevator. Remus pushed the button. It made a pleasant chime.

“You and Regulus do not look like the same person, otherwise I would be attracted to Regulus and that is frowned upon in most societies,” Remus stated glibly. This seemed to distract Sirius from whatever mental rabbit hole he was following. He looked over at Remus and got an innocent smile in return.

“You’re not right in the head,” Sirius informed him as the shiny doors slid open. Remus once again caught Sirius' elbow to keep him from charging into the elevator. A well-dressed older woman stepped out with her equally well-dressed husband.

“Etiquette dictates we let people exit the lift before we get on,” Remus scolded.

“f*ck etiquette,” Sirius responded. He said it loudly as they stepped onto the elevator. Remus could see the offended look on the older woman’s face. He bit back a smirk. The man in the elevator was dressed formally complete with white gloves. He cleared his throat pointedly.

“Jesus Christ,” Sirius muttered.

“Eighteen please,” Remus told him and gave Sirius a nudge. “Who pissed in your cheerios?” Sirius scoffed but glanced at Remus again and softened.

“Sorry, it’s just… we spent all day in a nice home with an overgrown garden and I got to listen to my lover boy and his dad curse at each other in Welsh. I much prefer that world to this,” Sirius gestured to the whole thing. “Oh, no offense.” The lift person looked like he was trying to work out if he was offended or not. “Should I tip?”

“You should always tip but tipping doesn’t make up for being an asshat,” Remus informed him. “He’s human just like you and I. Just be nice.” Sirius sighed.

“Sorry sir. Please accept my sincere apology and monetary compensation for being a dick,” Sirius responded and handed over a crisp twenty-pound note. Remus rubbed his face.

“It’s just Regulus and his fiancé, I’m not asking you to go to The Yule Ball,” Remus responded, naming the social event of the winter season. He had been a catering waiter there for one year and hated every second of it.

The hostess had been kind to him, seeing he was having a hard time breathing she had tracked down his supervisor and told him that Remus was taking a thirty-minute break. She’d spent some of his break with him in the garden while he clung to his inhaler and tried not to get sweat or even air on her perfectly coiffed hair. She had left him with a small plate of food and a glass of water.

“I reject that invitation every year. I love Cissy but I really don’t have the desire to attend,” Sirius muttered. Remus frowned at him.

“You know Narcissa Malfoy?” Remus asked incredulously. He guessed he shouldn’t be all that surprised. London society was insular and small, they all knew each other. He had heard some of the family trees were as twisted as the British royal family.

“She’s my cousin. She’s only about four years older than me. She used to get Reg and I in so much trouble when we were all little,” Sirius answered. “She gave me my first cigarette and then spent the next several years trying to convince me to quit.”

“Should still quit, Poppy is right, smoking kills,” Remus was glad to get Sirius back to a good place. Sirius waved a hand idly at him. “She was nice when I met her a few years ago. I think it was right after she was married.”

“Cissy is good people. She reached out to me after Mother disowned me. Made sure I was doing alright and had a place to land. I was glad to see her union with Lucius seems to be one of genuine affection and not just political,” Sirius responded. “If you want we could go to the Yule Ball.”

“If this is your response to just going to see your brother for dinner, I don’t want to see you anywhere near a proper London society event. I would have to murder you and that would make me incredibly sad,” Remus told him, making a face. Sirius laughed properly and wrapped Remus up in a tight hug.

“Has anyone ever told you’re a wonderful distraction?” Sirius brushed back his sandy hair.

“Guys at the bar, usually when they’re trying to get into my pants,” Remus spoke with a completely straight face. Sirius rolled his eyes at him and kissed his nose.

“Thank you for helping me settle,” Sirius spoke softly and Remus smoothed Sirius' own dark hair.

“We’re supposed to look after each other,” Remus reminded him. He hugged Sirius tightly glad he could pull him out of the spiral he’d been on.

--

Remus shifted slightly uncomfortable with the close surveillance he’d been under since they stepped into the flat. Barty had asked them to remove their shoes and had led them through to a well-appointed living room. Regulus had been frowning at his laptop and gave an indignant noise when Barty closed and removed it from him. “It’s time to stop working. You invited people over so be social,” Barty informed him.

Regulus frowned and glanced over as though he had forgotten and his face smoothed out. “Oh, it’s just my brother. Gimme,” he held his hand out expectantly. Barty shook his head. Regulus frowned but sighed.

“Hey!” Sirius responded and settled on the couch next to Regulus. Regulus shrugged and he leaned back into the cushions as Barty disappeared with the laptop. Remus fidgeted uncomfortably before settling into a black leather armchair. It was more comfortable than the metal frame suggested.

“You’re the one that took forever to answer,” Regulus told him and glanced over at Remus. His blue eyes paused and he tipped his head a little like Sirius did when he found something confusing.

“I was busy,” Sirius responded as Barty reappeared.

“Would anyone like tea before dinner is ready?” Barty asked helpfully.

“Is this like Effie offering me tea or is this proper British tea?” Remus asked and Barty frowned at him.

“It’s just Black tea,” he glanced at Sirius for confirmation.

“Euphemia is James’ mum and they are Indian,” Sirius clarified. “Cute little Welsh boy can’t handle his chai.” This was said affectionately and Remus watched as Barty’s face cleared of confusion.

“Nasty stuff,” Regulus concluded.

“I think it was the type you had, love. I’ll make you the sweet version sometime,” Barty corrected Regulus.

“We were on the Indian subcontinent, what would be more authentic?” Regulus demanded although his blue eyes were still on Remus. It was more than a little odd. After their first meeting when Regulus seemed ready to vibrate out of his skin, it was strange for him to be so focused.

“I didn’t say authentic, it won’t be authentic, it’ll be so much sugar and milk I wouldn’t be surprised if we both developed a Yank accent from it,” Barty teased. Sirius snorted. Barty wasn’t paying any attention to anyone else. His eyes were on Regulus. “Babe you’re hyper-focusing and not everyone is going to be comfortable with that,” Barty stated and Regulus’ eyes left Remus.

“He looks so sad,” Regulus protested and immediately clapped a hand over his mouth. “I’m so sorry, I have no filter tonight.” He lowered his hand and shot Remus an apologetic look. Sirius glanced over at Remus and frowned.

“He looks like he normally does,” Sirius argued. Remus felt his brows draw together.

“You need to learn to read him better. He looks like a normal bloke sure but his cheeks are a little bit more frowny and his eyes are really sad, Siri,” Regulus corrected. Remus glanced over at Barty who shrugged.

“I’ll go get that tea,” he said and in a completely unhelpful way left the scene.

“Why are you sad?” Regulus demanded and Remus glanced back at him. This whole thing was a lot to keep up with. Hanging out with the Black brothers was going to give him a complex, their neurodivergence seemed to feed on each other. He briefly considered lying or blowing him off. It wasn't exactly light dinner conversation. Still perhaps telling him would get Regulus to focus on something else.

“My Tad has Alzheimer's and had a lucid day. It’s always great to see him properly but it drives home the point that those are fewer and further apart,” Remus shrugged, pulling the cuffs of his sweater over his hands. There was no point in beating around the bush. Regulus had called it, he was sad. He looked down at the pale carpet under his feet. He didn’t need the pity, he’d come to terms with it when he had been told the prognosis.

“How long ago was his diagnosis?” Regulus asked, his voice sympathetic. It wasn’t a question Remus got very often. He thought back to the actual year his Tad had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.

“About five years.” That brought up another painful statistic. He knew all of them. He had done the research. 8-12 years was the average life expectancy of someone diagnosed with the disease. Was he only going to have three more years of his tad sinking further and further into the past? He knew some people were lucky, if one could call it that, living 20+ years but when had life ever been that kind to Remus?

His eyes stung and he was surprised by a warm hand brushing lightly over his clenched hands. “I wish I could help and that there was a cure for what your father is going through. If you ever need anything you can call Barty, I would say call me but I forget to charge… or take my phone with me,” Regulus informed him. Remus knew for the touch adverse Regulus to reach out had taken a lot so he pushed back his emotions and looked up to meet blue eyes.

“Thanks,” Remus answered. “I’m going to get some air.” Regulus immediately pulled his hands back.

“Balcony’s through the room there,” Regulus gestured. Remus gave a grateful nod and made his way out to the aforementioned balcony. The city glittered around and below him, ribbons of cars on the roads and all the lights looking like stars. Stars he couldn’t see because of the notorious light pollution and fog.

He stayed outside until a light knock on the door drew him out of his thoughts and made him realize he was actually chilled. “Barty told me to tell you he has food ready,” Sirius stepped out. Remus wiped his face. “Are you ok? Sorry, stupid question,” Sirius placed his hands on Remus’ shoulders and frowned before trying to rub warmth back into them.

“It just hit me all at once. Between you and Regulus I am going to have a lot of sh*t to deal with in therapy. Aside from my therapist, I’ve never had anyone look at me and say I look sad,” Remus responded leaning into the warmth that was Sirius. He smelled nice too and his presence helped settle Remus’ frayed nerves. “Well, Lily, but I think she was taking the piss.”

“Reg is concerned he upset you,” Sirius stated and Remus shook his head. The sweet younger man hadn’t upset him. It was actually nice to have others knowing what he was facing. Made it a little easier. He didn’t have to hide his emotions around any of them. It had been a long time since he had felt comfortable enough to let others into his world.

“I was already upset and not dealing with it. Come on let’s get some grub and settle anxieties,” Remus suggested and Sirius nodded. The warmth of the apartment was filled with the smell of food which added a nice counterpoint to the cold night. Remus followed Sirius to the dining room. It was clear Regulus and Sirius were different people, Remus couldn’t see Regulus being content with the industrial loft that Sirius lived in.

And honestly, that was just fine. Remus wouldn’t trade that loft for the world.

*~*

Chapter 33: Bad Hunter

Chapter Text

“Alright, unseasoned chicken for the fiancé,” Barty chimed, coming back into the dining room and placing a plate in front of Regulus, getting a grateful smile. He passed a plate to Remus and his chicken and broccoli looked like it was seasoned perfectly.

“I expected something a bit more… posh,” Sirius muttered when Barty passed him a similar plate.

“I’ll be sure to invite you to a five-star restaurant next time,” Regulus sniffed.

“I keep the menu simple to keep Reg from encountering a texture issue or just a familiarity issue when I’m cooking. It’s varied so it’s not boring but I figured we’re having an emotional week so safe food is probably a good bet,” Barty shrugged, handing Regulus a few small tablets.

“If I take these now I’ll be useless in an hour and we have guests over,” Regulus pouted.

“If you take them now you might sleep tonight,” Barty retorted, sitting down next to Regulus with his own plate. Regulus made a face but picked up his glass of water and swallowed the pills.

Remus was about to start eating when he noticed Sirius frowning at the plate. He glanced down as his brain caught up. There was chicken in front of his vegetarian boyfriend. The chicken was juicy and the juices had mixed with the veggies. Sirius looked like he was trying to politely decline the food. "Oh, Sirius is a vegetarian," Remus spoke up.

"Oh please don't make a fuss. I should have said something sooner," Sirius immediately attempted to stop the wheels set in motion.

"I don't let Regulus skip meals when I have a say. I'm not about to let the other brother get away with it either. Give me a minute I'll whip something up," Barty removed Sirius' plate. "Eat Reg, I know you won't if it goes cold on you."

“Sirius is also allergic to peanuts, too, just in case. I know it’s not always a hereditary issue, so I’m not sure if Reg is or isn’t.” Remus broke in quickly before Barty left the room. That would cause more issues than was worth and he didn’t need his boyfriend going into anaphylactic shock because of it. Barty nodded and left the room.

Regulus stuck out his tongue but dutifully speared a piece of broccoli. "You know Vegetarian is an old word. Means bad hunter," Regulus needled. Sirius shot him a look.

"At least I like spices," Sirius shot back. Remus sighed. Brothers.

"Be nice, not all of us spent our childhoods being exposed to Indian food," Remus scolded. Sirius huffed and crossed his arms sitting back in his chair.

"How long have you been a bad hunter?" Regulus asked, cutting his chicken into perfect squares. The edge pieces that didn't manage a perfect square were deposited on Barty's plate.

"Most of my adult life. Marlene has been a vegetarian since forever and she made me go to a processing plant for some sort of protest while in University. I… Ummm… well let's just say my sympathy for the cows outweighs my desire for a burger." Remus wondered what Sirius had seen.

"I was a vegetarian for three weeks to piss off mother and father," Regulus responded. Barty returned and set a plate in front of Sirius.

"Stir fry; veggies, tofu, and sesame oil," he answered Sirius' questioning look.

"Why stop?" Sirius asked and Regulus shrugged.

"I forgot and ate bacon. Good thing too, even a week later I was feeling bad. My doctor told me I was dangerously anemic and I'd been back to eating meat for a week," Regulus responded polishing off his chicken.

"That's why I'm not vegetarian. I tend to get anemic easily," Remus contributed. Regulus started on his broccoli while Sirius examined the stir-fry before deciding to take a bite. He seemed pleased and settled in to eat it properly.

Dinner passed with easy conversation and they moved back to the sitting room afterward. “We need to add Sirius to the invitation list,” Regulus pointed out sleepily against Barty’s shoulder as the night wound down.

“We already did, Mio Re. I thought you and Dolohov were going to have a proper row over it,” Barty informed Regulus, running a finger over his nose.

“Wanker,” Sirius muttered and Regulus shot him the two-fingered salute.

“Be nice. He’s changed a lot since school,” Barty defended and Sirius held up his hands in surrender.

“He’s one of my groomsmen,” Regulus yawned and his blue eyes shut. He cuddled closer to Barty, one of his feet brushing Remus who was sitting on the other end of the couch. “Sorry.”

“Do you want us to go?” Sirius asked. Regulus didn’t answer as his breathing evened out. “Reg has left the building. We’ll leave you to it.” Remus immediately stood to join Sirius.

“Thanks for coming tonight. He won’t ever admit it but he’s glad to have you back in his life,” Barty looked perfectly content to be a pillow for the other. Sirius' hand found Remus’.

“It was… nice. Odd but nice,” Sirius admitted. They made their way back to the door. Remus twisted the lock on the handle.

“So, what’s wrong with Dolohov standing with Regulus?” Remus asked as the shiny lift doors shut them into the small room with the attendant. Sirius made a noncommittal sound.

“He was just kind of a dick in school. Course I never really liked any of Regulus’ friends. They seemed to follow the hardline of most of our families,” Sirius answered, keeping his voice down to be respectful of the poor guy working the lift. Not like he needed to hear all of their family drama. At the look on Remus’ face, he elaborated. “For example, any member of the Black family that steps outside of the expected path is removed from this ugly old tapestry in the sitting room with matches and sewing scissors. I am sure my mother took great delight in removing me when I ran away.”

Sirius leaned against the wall of the lift. “I’m honestly surprised she isn’t cutting Regulus off. He’s not living in Grimmauld Place, he’s marrying a man and the kid is so neurodivergent I can feel the wind of the manic episode.”

“I mean it’s a good thing you both attract people who like to look after you and keep you from wandering into traffic,” Remus commented with a shrug. Sirius leveled him with a glare.

“I will have you know I was perfectly fine before you waltzed into my life,” Sirius argued.

“You were surviving on sh*tty coffee and frozen paint cups,” Remus retorted. Sirius huffed. “You can’t deny that I make your life better.”

“Oh contrary Lupin, I think you would discover I am a pretty decent liar if needed,” Sirius responded with a smooth smile. Remus rolled his eyes.

“Just what everyone wants to hear is that their boyfriend is a good liar,” Remus commented, his tone flat.

“Why would I lie to you? You accept me warts and all,” Sirius answered, stepping into Remus’ space. He slipped his fingers into Remus’ belt loops and pulled him close.

“You’re the devil,” Remus informed him, not resisting the pull. He allowed Sirius to reel him in. Then those lips were on his and he didn’t care about the conversation anymore. Kissing Sirius was always lovely. However, it seemed tonight his lungs were not happy with life. He pulled back to breathe only a short time later.

“I would make a joke about taking your breath away but it seems in poor taste,” Sirius commented as Remus used his inhaler to open up his lungs.

“Drugs are good,” Remus assured him. The inhaler did what it was supposed to, although it always felt like a punch in the chest. He leaned his forehead against Sirius' and took a few deep breaths. “Did you enjoy the evening?” Remus asked when his breathing had evened out.

Sirius took his own breath and the ding of the lift brought them both back to reality. They arranged themselves more appropriately and exited. As soon as they were out in the fresh air again Sirius took a subtle step away from Remus and pulled his cigarettes out of his pocket. “Stand with me over here for a minute. I don’t want to smoke in the car but I need the nicotine,” Sirius gestured over to a bench. Remus sat on the cold metal and Sirius leaned against the wall as he lit up.

“It was nice to see Reg again but it’s so odd. We didn’t really keep in contact when I left. Now he’s an adult and engaged to be married. I keep thinking back to the kid that helped me steal father’s scotch when we were younger,” Sirius commented, letting out a plume of smoke.

“Neither of you needs to steal alcohol now,” Remus told him and Sirius made a face.

“I’m not sure we needed to even then. I am sure we could have talked one of our older cousins into getting it for us… or just bribed the cashier to give it to us. At thirteen Regulus was incredibly persuasive. We got caught smoking on school grounds and he convinced the prefect to not only leave us alone but give someone else detention. Still don’t know how.”

“Mere mortals are useless against the Black charm,” Remus assured him and Sirius glanced over at him.

“I think that is the nicest thing you have said to me,” Sirius informed him but his brow crinkled. “Stop it, it’s weird.”

“I’m nice to you,” Remus protested. “Beyond that, I wasn’t being complimentary. No one should have all the power and looks and money. It’s wholly unfair to the rest of us.”

“I’ll share,” Sirius offered and Remus huffed. “Oh wait, I already am.”

“And this is why I’m not nice to you,” Remus told him. Sirius examined the burning end of his cigarette. Remus shivered and adjusted his sweater. It wasn’t too cold but he figured he was just feeling it because he was tired and emotional and the asthma attack in the lift had robbed him of his remaining strength.

“Win some, lose some,” Sirius noticed the shiver and stubbed out his cigarette against the bottom of his boot. “Come on, let's get you inside before you turn into a block of ice.” Remus followed Sirius back to the car, grateful for the security of the vehicle instead of the motorcycle. Sirius turned on the car and adjusted the heat for Remus.

Remus leaned his forehead against the window and the next thing he knew was Sirius shaking his shoulder gently. “Come on sweetheart we’re home,” Sirius told him. Remus blinked rapidly trying to orient himself. He hadn’t fallen asleep in a car since he was a kid. He followed Sirius up to the loft.

Sirius spoke to Bastet while stroking over her body and feeding her. Remus forced himself to take a shower and he climbed into bed right after. “I’m not sleeping nude tonight, I’m too cold,” Remus commented when he heard Sirius wandering about getting ready for bed.

“Feeling alright?” Sirius asked and the bed dipped. A cold hand touched his face Remus made a sound of protest. “You’re a bit warm.” It was clear Sirius was trying to help but Remus was used to not feeling great, especially after busy days with emotional issues.

“M’fine,” Remus muttered and pulled the blanket a little tighter around his body. Sirius made a noise that did not sound like approval and got up from the bed. Remus frowned when he heard shifting and cursing from his boyfriend. He glanced in the direction of the noise. Sirius was in the bathroom. Remus briefly considered getting up to help him but staying in bed was easier.

A moment later soft hands were back on his face. “Rem love, stick this in your mouth,” Sirius' voice was soft.

“I swear to god if I open my eyes and your dick is out, you’re sleeping on the couch,” Remus griped. He was too tired to deal with Sirius' obnoxious side tonight.

“You’re not feeling well so I am not going to ask for a blowie right now. Might offer one later,” Sirius' hand stroked over his cheek. Remus finally opened his eyes just slightly. The apartment was very bright. Sirius was holding out a thermometer to him.

“Nope, I can’t be sick. I took the day off today for tad, I have to go to work tomorrow,” Remus argued, turning away from Sirius. He got tutted at and the bed dipped again.

“Don’t make me call Effie,” Sirius threatened and Remus gave a frustrated huff and sat up. He took the thermometer from Sirius.

“Will you go get my inhaler?” Sitting up might have been a mistake, as Remus struggled briefly to get the requisite amount of oxygen to his lungs. Sirius immediately made his way back down to the living area to get the inhaler from Remus’ bag. Remus stuck the thermometer under his tongue waiting for the annoying beep.

“f*cking fabulous,” Remus muttered, 38 C greeted him. He had a fever. He passed the thermometer to Sirius and took his inhaler.

“You should text or call so they know you’re sick,” Sirius suggested and Remus gave him a look.

“You can f*ck off. Unless I feel like death warmed over tomorrow I am going to work,” Remus argued and Sirius set the thermometer down before sitting back on the bed and cupping Remus’ face. His hands felt far too cold for everything to be okay.

“I am sure Aberforth and Lily would much prefer you take the day to feel better instead of going to work, wearing yourself out, and potentially being sick for days,” Sirius informed him. Remus was feeling the beginning of a headache form.

“Can you stop talking and just come to bed? I don’t want to be awake anymore,” Remus commented, brushing his hands off and lying back down. Sirius sighed but didn’t argue. Remus kept his eyes closed as he heard Sirius moving about.

He hummed happily when that lovely body pressed into his back and arms came around him. He adored that Sirius was willing to be the big spoon right now. He wound his fingers with Sirius' and settled in hoping sleep would claim him thoroughly. “Rem, I really think you need to take a sick day,” Sirius' voice was soft. “You need to take care of yourself.”

Remus let out a huff and rolled over so he could curl into Sirius' hold properly. “I already take so many days off for doctors, tad, and the actual illness days I don’t see the point in taking a day off because I have a small fever. I likely just overexerted myself today and will be fine with sleep,” Remus explained. He didn’t want to take more time than he actually needed. He had felt like this before and it usually went away with plenty of sleep. Sirius was silent but Remus could feel him fidgeting. “If I feel poorly tomorrow I will take the day ok?”

“Thank you,” Sirius sounded so grateful that Remus couldn’t be angry about it. He lay in Sirius' arms falling asleep easily. That was why the sudden wakefulness was so disorientating. He realized what was happening only a moment later, his lungs had seized. He struggled out of Sirius' hold, his sleeping lover's limbs were so heavy. By the time he got sat up on the edge of the bed and his inhaler in his mouth, Sirius was waking up.

Two puffs later and he was able to cough weakly. It took two more puffs to get a full breath down. He rubbed his chest feeling the sharp pain after a severe attack. He didn’t like that he had three attacks in less than twenty-four hours. His hands shook and he gripped the sheet tightly to get them to stop.

He was so cold all over but could feel he was burning up. His head was pounding and every breath hurt a little bit. Sirius' hand was soft on his back stroking soothingly as Remus tried to breathe again. When he tried to lay back down his whole body rebelled and he ended up coughing so hard that he was sick, in a trashcan helpfully held under his chin by Sirius. “You really don’t have to do that. Call Lily and I’ll go stay with her,” Remus muttered in protest when Sirius replaced the bag in the trashcan and wiped the sick off Remus’ face and jumper.

“Hush, take off the sweater and I’ll get you a clean one and some tea,” Sirius informed him. Stripping off the soiled sweater was beyond him, Sirius helped him out of the warm fabric. Even that loss of heat was horrible. He was bundled up in one of Sirius' sweaters. Bless the other man he pulled out all of his auxiliary pillows stacking them so Remus could still be in bed but sitting upright.

He settled back as Sirius bustled about rinsing the sick off the jumper before adding it to the dirty clothes. He made Remus tea while he emailed the building services about an extra laundry pick-up in the morning. “I mean it Sirius, you don’t have to take care of me. I know it’s not pretty,” Remus would be loath to lose the comfort and companionship of Sirius but he wasn’t going to make Sirius take care of him. Lily would be willing and she had done it before. She knew when Remus needed to go to the hospital and when he needed soup and sleep.

“I know I don’t have to. If I didn’t want to I could hire a nurse to come in and look after you. This is just part of being in a relationship. You’re not feeling well so I am going to coddle you. Deal with it,” Sirius argued, handing Remus a warm mug before settling back on the bed. Remus took a sip of the tea, it was Earl Grey and made to perfection.

The warm tea rinsed out the taste in his mouth and helped soothe his scratchy throat. “Tell me what you need,” Sirius offered, tucking the blankets back around Remus while checking to make sure none of them were damp. So Sirius fed him ibuprofen and Earl Grey until the headache went away and the urge to cough was gone.

Remus still couldn’t lay down and Sirius still wanted to cuddle. They compromised with Sirius laying his head in Remus’ lap to sleep. Remus found it was remarkably easy to sleep like that.

He woke again briefly when Sirius was closing the curtains and speaking with someone. Later he heard his alarm go off. “Don’t worry about it Rem, I already called Lily and Aberforth. Lily will be stopping by later with soup and a plant, possibly with James. Aberforth said to call if we need anything and take all the time you need. Call him when you’re feeling better, they have your shifts covered until you are back.” Sirius' voice was soft as were the fingers in his hair.

“Thank you,” Remus sounded croaky. His chest was burning constantly now. Sirius got up and made more tea and dry toast. Remus hated every bite but ate it anyway. He didn’t try to lay down. He simply lounged on the bed drifting in and out of consciousness. Sirius played with his hair, occasionally he would hear the scrape of charcoal across paper or the tap of Sirius' nails on his phone. He didn’t envy the flighty young man having to spend the day confined to bed just because Remus wanted human warmth.

*~*

Chapter 34: In Sickness

Chapter Text

“You look terrible, Luv,” Lily’s normally chirpy voice was moderated thankfully and Remus cracked an eye to look at her.

“Thanks, hon. What green thing did you bring for me to kill this time?” Remus asked curiously. Lily glanced at Sirius who gestured for her to join them. She climbed into the bed. “How did you get in?” he asked, knowing he would have felt if Sirius shifted.

“James has an extra card,” she waved a hand at James who was holding a paper bag. He gave Remus a wave staying by the stairs. Lily settled on Remus’ other side and procured a plant out of basically nowhere. “It’s a spider plant. It’s really easy to care for. Just a nice spot with light will do. It’s a hanging plant so the feline can’t get into it.” Remus ran a hand over Bastet, currently curled up in his lap. She looked so sweet and cute in the mushroom sweater Sirius had put her in.

“Is it toxic?” Sirius asked, his fingers also running over the small warm body.

“Why would I bring you a plant that would harm your kitty?” she asked in an affronted tone.

“Please don’t today. I love you Lily but I can’t handle the snipping,” Remus actually whined, recoiling from both of them. He pulled his knees up to his chest and Lily immediately rubbed a hand over his shoulder.

“Sorry,” they both muttered. “Do you have a hook I can hang this on?” Lily asked Sirius.

“Wanna let me up?” Sirius asked and Remus leaned forward slightly. Sirius led Lily back downstairs to the bright window that looked over the city. James came over to sit on the edge of the bed. He opened the paper bag and offered Remus the container of soup hidden from within.

“Mum made it. It’s just chicken noodle and she took it easy on the spice,” James informed him when Remus gave him an apprehensive look. Remus took the bowl and spoon James offered him. It was still warm. He could smell the familiar comfort of chicken noodle soup. He took a bite and felt like he had been transported back to his childhood, it tasted just like how Hope used to make it for him.

“Thank you for bringing it to me and tell Effie thank you for making it for me,” Remus appreciated it more than he could put into words. There was just something so magical about a mum making soup because he wasn’t feeling well.

“She said she hopes you feel better and if you need someone else to take care of you or take care of Sirius while he’s caring for you, to just give her a call. Do you have her number?” James asked, glancing back at where his brother and girlfriend had disappeared. Remus picked up his phone and unlocked it. He opened his contacts and passed it to James, not too worried about sharing his phone.

James made a noise as he looked and added three numbers to his phone. “You have mum and pa and my number in here,” James passed back the phone. Remus placed the phone back on the side table. He only ate a few more spoonful’s before his body told him he was done with it for now.

He placed the lid back on the soup and James helpfully took it from him. “I’ll put this in the fridge with the two other containers she sent,” James told him and Remus nodded. He picked up the water he had and took a small sip, not wanting to set off the horrible coughing fit he had earlier when he just tried to consume liquid.

James made his way downstairs and Remus traced one of the mushrooms on Bastet’s sweater. She chirped at him and blinked at him slowly. He had read somewhere that was the cat’s way of saying love. He tried to replicate it. He fell asleep instead.

--

Lily and James hung around upstairs with Sirius seeming not to mind that Remus wasn’t fully conscious for all of it. Lily cuddled Remus while Sirius showered. He inhaled the sweet clean scent of his lover when he returned. “Do you need help getting him cleaned up?” James asked, gesturing to a mostly asleep Remus.

“Nah he still can walk so I’ll pop him into a bath later,” Sirius responded, running his fingers through Remus’ hair.

“Don’t burn yourself out. You ask for help if you need it,” Lily warned. Sirius nodded. They could all tell Remus was getting hit hard by whatever he had and this was going to be a long recovery. Lily reached over and smoothed his hair back.

“I admit I thought you were a rich playboy who was going to hurt my best friend. Thank you for proving me wrong,” Lily admitted and gave him a warm smile.

“Lily admitting she was happy to be wrong, now I need to go look out the window for flying porcine,” Remus muttered and got chuffed gently on the shoulder. Lily kissed Remus’ cheek gently and smoothed his hair back.

Remus didn’t remember them leaving but they were alone in the apartment when he next regained wakefulness. He lay with Sirius for a bit just absorbing his warm presence. He let Sirius talk to him about all the things at the gallery and how Trixie absolutely adored when Lily stayed the night. How Lily was going to remove James’ fingers for playing with her air plant earrings and that Euphemia was going to stop by sometime soon to check on Remus with her own two eyes.

“Will you help me to the bathroom?” Remus asked after a while. Sirius immediately stood up. He helped Remus to the bathroom but gave him privacy. He gave Remus support to brush his teeth and did in fact run a bath and help Remus clean up. Remus felt more drained but at least he was clean.

That night was worse, the cough sent him retching into the trashcan many times and his lungs burned. The inhaler barely helped. Every muscle and joint ached and no one got any sleep. Remus could feel the horrible ache in his lungs and knew the feeling all too well. “We need to go to a doctor tomorrow. I have pneumonia,” Remus whispered, not able to be any louder.

--

Remus was staring at the ceiling. It was just after five in the morning. He had woken Sirius with another coughing fit. He could hear Sirius downstairs talking to Bastet. The cough had scared her and Remus had sent Sirius after her. Sirius had asked if Remus could handle him taking a moment to smoke too.

Remus had given his consent for Sirius to be away from him for that long. Now he was regretting it. He picked up his phone and tapped away telling Lily that he was going to the hospital later with a case of what felt like pneumonia. He also sent a text to Poppy mentioning he was sick but that Sirius was taking care of him. He didn’t want her to worry and in turn, worry Lyall who couldn’t remember who Remus was.

With that taken care of he was bored. The brightness of the screen, even at the lowest setting, made his head hurt so he knew he couldn’t turn on the lamp to read, even if that would be more beneficial than just sitting there. He was stuck doing nothing. He was still so tired and sore. His stomach was twisty and he knew Sirius was worried about him. Bastet had rejoined him and he spent several long moments petting her. She bumped her head against his chin and then moved to curl up on Sirius' pillow. Remus found himself drifting off again.

He groaned when the coughing overtook him, seizing his lungs and ability to breathe. Warm arms immediately released him and he sat on the edge of the bed bringing up clear bile this time. There was no food left for him to bring up. He could feel Sirius' hand on his back and the bin under his chin. A warm, damp flannel ran over his face when he was able to take a deep breath without dying.

Of course, as soon as he caught a whiff of Sirius and the cigarette smoke, it set him off again. “You need to shower, the smoke is making it worse,” Remus wheezed when he managed to stop coughing. God everything hurt, his chest felt like it had an elephant sitting on it. He was sure he was going to die or pass out. The room spun, his head hurt and his vision swam. He was definitely not getting enough air. His ribs felt like they were being compressed and cracked. He hated everything about this.

“Oh sh*t, I’m so sorry. I’ll be quick,” Sirius muttered and quickly walked down the stairs of the loft and down to the bathroom. Remus gave into self-pity. He pulled his knees up and cried against the soft fabric of the blanket. It smelled like Sirius and himself and Bastet. Safety and home lingered in all those smells. It was a deeply comforting scent. He tried to control his crying, a great heaving sob would be bad right now. He didn’t actually want to pass out.

He was still crying when Sirius returned. He was cradled by that wonderful man for a long time. He smelled like soap and Sirius and Remus drank in the comfort offered. Sirius didn’t try to shush him or make him pull himself together. He let Remus cry and when the tears ran out he continued to hold him and stroke his hair. An alarm went off at seven, alerting them of the hour. Sirius only shifted far enough to grab his phone, turn the alarm off, and dial a number while still holding Remus. Soon he was speaking to someone on the other end of the line. Remus didn’t bother to tune in.

“Let’s get you dressed in something warm and comfy and get you to the doctor,” Sirius murmured hanging up the phone. Remus allowed himself to be sat up. Sirius washed his face and combed out Remus’ sandy hair. He was dressed in warm sweats and his favorite red jumper. Sirius wrapped him up in a blanket and led him down to the car.

Remus settled into the passenger seat and was grateful when Sirius did up the belt and carefully closed the door. He was sure he dosed on the way to the hospital because suddenly they were pulling up to the building. Remus frowned. “This isn’t an NHS-supported one. I can’t go here,” Remus had only been to a private doctor once and that was with Sirius to get tested. NHS was the only way he could get the care he needed, everyone else was too expensive.

“I don’t trust them with my health, you think I’m going to let them near my boyfriend,” Sirius questioned. Remus looked at him like he was crazy.

“Don’t diss the NHS,” he argued. Sirius shook his head as he parked.

“I admire the NHS and everyone there is very hardworking but that is the problem they are overworked and underpaid. I will take you here and let the NHS have valuable hours to spend on someone else,” Sirius responded. Remus couldn’t tell if that was incredibly self-aware of Sirius, not to take up public time when he could afford private care or entitled because he could afford private care.

“Alright… but only because I feel too sh*tty to sit in this car any longer,” Remus relented. He leaned heavily on Sirius into the building. He was put in a wheelchair and handed a mask as soon as they were inside. He was grateful to be able to sit down. He pulled the mask over his face and tried to tune into Sirius.

The paperwork was in Sirius' hands and Remus tried to answer all the questions but his brain was foggy and sick. He knew he was able to rattle off all his medical problems as well as his medication and allergies but everything else was a little hazy. When Sirius asked for his primary care physician Remus just handed him the phone and stated it was in his ICE.

Sirius was amazing but Remus was just too tired and sick to be of much help. He couldn’t meet Sirius halfway right now. Before long they were being wheeled back. Remus was helped into the bed and immediately monitors of all sorts were attached to him. “His blood ox is dangerously low,” an authoritative voice said near his head. An oxygen mask was fitted to his face a moment later.

Remus didn’t offer much focus to what was happening around him. He felt his temperature being taken by an ear probe, and the doctor listened to his chest with the stethoscope. The needle going into his arm caught and held his attention until the IV was hooked up. “Sorry luv. You’re dangerously dehydrated,” The nurse gave him a sympathetic smile, her thick Scottish brogue was comforting. It reminded him of Poppy’s wife. Remus tried to relax. He was used to hospitals. He reached out a hand for Sirius. The doctor and nurse walked out talking about further tests. Sirius took his hand and Remus was grateful for the warmth. “I’ll be ok,” he tried to reassure Sirius, though it was barely audible through the mask on his face.

“You better bloody well be. You don’t have permission to die,” Sirius looked like a wreck. His hair was unkempt and messy. His pale skin had a slightly ashen quality to it and those normally quicksilver eyes were a flat, stone grey now with dark circles under them. Just two days of worrying and looking after Remus had knocked him flat.

“I have to get permission to die now?” Remus asked and Sirius nodded the affirmative.

“And not just from me either. Nope, Mum and Pa have to say yes, as do James and Lily and just to keep it from ever happening you also have to ask Reg and Barty,” Sirius muttered.

“Might as well throw in my Tad, Poppy, Aberforth, Hagrid, and the Pope. No dying for me,” Remus agreed and was glad to see a ghost of a smile touch those features. “That list is the same for you by the way.” His voice was still weak and the pressure was still on his chest but the dizziness was fading and he could see his blood ox going up on the monitor.

Sirius gave him a small smile. “Deal,” he agreed, wrapping his pinkie around Remus’. Sirius stayed close with his hand wrapped up with Remus’ until the nurse returned.

“Alright I need to take you for a chest x-ray,” she stated. She disconnected the monitors they didn’t need and put up the safety rails. Remus wished Sirius could come with but knew he would have to stand outside of the room anyway.

The x-ray was standard, wheeled into the room, helped onto the other bed, and covered in as much shielding as they could reasonably get on him. He lay still as the machine hummed. He rolled when asked and was glad when it was over. When the nurse came back to help him sit up he spent ten minutes coughing. The pressure was worse than ever.

He was wheeled back to his room. He was glad for whatever medication they were feeding him through the IV. It was helping with the pain and he was feeling drowsy. He floated in and out while they did a few more tests including taking a bunch of blood from him. God he was going to look like he had been pricked by a pin cushion by the end of this.

--

“He’s got fungal pneumonia which is good because it means he couldn’t have given it to anyone else and they have him on fluconazole,” Sirius informed Lily and James when they showed up that afternoon. Remus was sitting up in bed but was out cold. He wasn’t coughing as much now and his blood ox was starting to look normal. Sirius felt like his head was going to explode. He had never seen anyone as sick as Remus. He had deteriorated quickly.

“I should have insisted he go to the doctor immediately. I know how fast he can turn,” Lily murmured sitting on the chair next to the bed. She reached over and took Sirius' hand without seeming to think about it.

“The first night he got sick he tried to get me to call you so he could go stay with you thinking I wouldn’t want to take care of him,” Sirius admitted. “I would have taken care of him through the whole thing but when he coughed up blood I knew he was beyond what we could handle.” He never wanted to let Remus out of his sight when he was this sick and weak. Still, he had to trust the doctors could do more than Sirius ever could.

“Remus doesn’t ever want a fuss made about him. When he was younger Hope was sick a lot so Remus would suffer in silence until he was so sick he couldn’t function… kind of like a cat. When Hope passed and Lyall had his accident Remus went immediately into looking after him, just like he did for her. Getting him the best care and paying the mortgage so his dad didn’t have to work or lose the house. He ignored his own shoddy health, again. I am glad someone is making sure he takes care of himself,” Lily frowned. She had watched Remus ignore his own health all his life. Maybe being with Sirius would change that. Sirius didn’t seem like the type to let Remus get away with that behavior.

“I had noticed the lack of fuss wanted but am I supposed to let him die?” Sirius asked, bordering hysteric and Lily shrugged, though her face was sympathetic.

“Probably not,” James answered, pulling up another chair so he could sit as well. “So you worry about your boy. We’ll worry about you,” James offered and Sirius looked back at him.

“There are not enough drugs in the world to get me away from him right now,” Sirius responded. He was going to insist the nurse bring him a cot soon, he was not going anywhere right now. He was staying with Remus until the other was well enough to leave the hospital.

“Do you need anything? Food, change of clothes, cigarettes?” James asked. Sirius turned back to Remus.

“I quit. I should have ages ago. Could you imagine the reaming out I would get from mum if I got cancer? It’s bad for Bastet and this morning just the smell on my skin made Remus turn blue. I won’t risk those around me for such a stupid habit,” Sirius answered. He pulled out his half-finished pack and handed it to James.

Lily was surprised by the finality. Sirius did not say he was quitting or was going to try. He said he quit; plain and simple. She wondered if he could. Could he just quit cold turkey like that? She knew when Dorcas had tried it hadn’t gone so well. Weaning was more effective. She looked at his pensive face though and knew he wasn’t lying or fronting. If he said he was done with cigarettes, he was done with them.

The nurse kicked out James and Lily when visiting hours were over but Sirius did nothing but politely and firmly request a cot when she turned to him. She seemed to consider kicking him out too but had relented at his facial expression.

Sirius settled on the cot not caring that he was still in his clothes and his hair was unbrushed. He was going to stay in this room until that green-eyed man left with him. He looked over at the lean figure in the bed, the steady beeping told Sirius that Remus was alive, and his heart was steady, beating. The numbers around the blood ox meant he was getting enough air. He hoped Remus wasn’t in pain under the sleeping medication. He could see the steady rise and fall of his chest but the slight wheeze told him Remus was still struggling. Sirius prayed they had caught it early enough that his recovery would be ok. “I’m going to keep you safe and healthy. I love you,” Sirius whispered to the sleeping boy.

*~*

Chapter 35: And Health

Chapter Text

Remus was pretty sure he was dreaming. Fever dreams were always vivid. The colors alone told him he was dreaming. It was too bright. The room he was in was also soft around the edges, and not fully in focus. Similar to a vignette. The windows were draped with thin gossamer curtains that let in bright sunlight. He was sitting on a chair. As he became more aware of his surroundings he realized a mirror was in front of him.

His reflection looked like him but was he in a kilt? He looked down, and sure enough, he was in a kilt. That was odd most of his fever dreams involved his Mam. “I’m here Cariad,” that wonderfully warm and familiar voice spoke and the woman appeared as though summoned. “In one of these dreams, you’re going to be older than me.”

Remus immediately stood and hugged her tightly. He knew it was a manifestation of his subconscious craving comfort and care but he didn’t care. She was still his Mam. She smelled like he remembered and her hugs were just as magical as they had always been. “Hi,” he breathed against her hair.

“Oh, honey, you’re so skinny,” she lamented, sounding like every bit the disapproving Mam she tried to pretend to be. She held him back from her and examined his features. “You work too hard,” she informed him. This was always her take.

“I work less these days,” Remus retorted and she smiled before reaching into her bag. She was wearing a lovely red dress and carrying a purse. Again odd, he usually dreamed of his Mam in jeans and soft sweaters.

“Is it because of the sweet boy who gave you his heart?” she asked, holding up the paper heart Remus had put in the scrapbook. Remus admired the piece of art again and nodded.

“Yeah,” he breathed and paused. “Mam, is it possible to fall in love with someone quickly? I wouldn’t say love at first sight but it doesn’t feel long enough either.” Hope ran a hand over his face.

“I really wish your Tad hadn’t told you about Gary White, that is a secret I would have been content with you not knowing… but yes. The reason I left him for your father was because I fell for Lyall. I felt terrible about it because I was dating Gary but I was falling in love with another man. You are every bit my son and if you think you love this young man then you do,” Hope answered, tucking the heart back into her purse carefully.

Remus bit his lip but quickly stopped. Did the rules apply in dreams? He wouldn’t put it past Sirius to hold his dream actions against him. Hope smiled as though she knew what he was thinking. “If you didn’t love him, why would your subconscious dream of your wedding day?” Hope asked, leading Remus back to the chair and adjusting his bowtie. She knelt in front of him.

“When you get married, whether to Sirius or someone else, ask Poppy for the letters I wrote you when I got sick and knew I would miss all those milestones and ask for the wedding box,” Hope told him. Remus usually accepted that his subconscious pulled up an image of his Mam when he needed her. This felt different, this felt like truth. He nodded and she leaned forward and kissed his forehead. She wiped away the lipstick stain.

“Come along, Cariad,” she took his hand and led him out of the bright room. He was led to another nondescript place. It was also soft around the edges and not fully in focus. He could see all the people he loved in the world sitting there waiting. He could see they were all decked out and ready, excited to finally see him. He flushed as they all stood. At the end of the very long aisle was Sirius looking absolutely amazing and so handsome in a tux.

Standing next to him was James who cleaned up nicely. On the other side of the aisle looking very pretty was Lily. She was in a bright green sundress and had flowers strategically placed in her curls. Remus knew without a doubt they were fake. And they weren’t lilies or petunias either. As he got closer he could see they were peonies.

Lyall was there sitting next to Poppy who also had her wife Minerva sitting with her. Aberforth and Dumbledore were there. Dorcas, Alice, and Frank also stood out in the sea of faces. He could see Euphemia and Fleamont along with Marlene, Regulus, and Barty also sitting there. Most of the other faces were in soft focus, likely Remus’ brain realizing that Sirius would likely have people he didn’t know yet.

His Mam’s arm was firm and soft against his. Her face was blindingly happy as she walked Remus down the aisle. He reached the end and she stopped him. He knew without knowing that time had stopped and it was just the two of them. “Your heart brought you to this moment. A moment you can really have if you want it. What does that brilliant brain of yours say?” Hope asked.

Remus reached up instinctively to grip the necklace Sirius had placed around his neck. It wasn’t there. He’d had an x-ray. He vaguely remembered Sirius removing it when the nurse had asked about jewelry. He felt horribly naked and afraid without it. He looked over his Mam’s shoulder at Sirius. He looked so perfect in a tux with his hair half up and this wonderful loving and contented expression on his face.

Remus wanted his necklace back. He wanted to be Sirius’ forever. He wanted to be that man’s everything. He wanted Sirius to be his everything. “How could I say anything but I want this? Who wouldn’t want Sirius?” he asked as though she was crazy.

“I’m sure Sirius has plenty of stories of people faced with his ‘crazy’ and ran the other way. Just like many people faced with your medical problems and scars wouldn’t have stayed on,” Hope told him.

“He washed the sick off my face and rinsed out my favorite sweater,” Remus told her. She caught a tear with her thumb. “I do love him.”

“You and me, we're quite a pair. Falling so easily when we finally meet our forever. Take the leap, my Moony, you never know how much time you have. I didn’t get nearly enough with your Tad,” Hope’s eyes focused over his shoulder at Lyall. “I didn’t get nearly enough time with my miracle moon.” Remus knew he was crying now. He hugged her tightly, sobbing against her shoulder. He missed his Mam so much and he knew when he married Sirius he would hate not having her there. She held him just as tight. God every part of her felt so real. She felt like his Mam, she smelled like his Mam and even sounded like his Mam.

“I don’t know how much of this is real and how much is happening in my head but thank you,” Remus said to her softly. She stroked his hair like she did when he was a child and skinned his knee.

“Of course it’s happening in your head, darling boy, but it’s as real as anything else. Call me if you need me. I’m so proud of the man you’ve become and I miss you,” Hope told him. She kissed his forehead again. It didn’t matter that he had to lean down to let her do it, it made him feel just as loved as when he was a kid.

Remus sat bolt upright in bed, the oxygen mask catching against the railing at the sudden movement. The elastic bands briefly folded his ears painfully. Sirius jumped in the chair he was sitting in. “Whoa, are you ok?” One of Sirius' hands slipped into Remus’ and the other found Remus’ shoulder. Remus took several deep breaths, they hurt, but yeah he was okay.

All at once everything hit him. The migraine was gone but the aching in his joints was worse. The pressure on his chest had lessened, it was no longer an elephant, just a large vehicle now. He guessed that was good. “They weaned your sedatives. Said you’ll recover faster if you’re actually awake to take deep breaths every hour or so.”

Remus simply leaned into Sirius' touch. He didn’t care why he was awake, he was awake and Sirius was here. That was all that counted. Sirius hit the nurse button behind Remus’ head even as he held him. Remus didn’t want to let go of Sirius but had to let the nurse and then the doctor examine him. So many strangers touching him made him twitchy. This was why he hated going to a hospital, all the people in his personal space.

“The inflammation in your lungs sounds much better, and since you’re able to breathe more easily we’re going to remove this and we’ll get you a nasal cannula instead,” The doctor motioned to the mask on Remus’ face, placing his stethoscope back around his neck after listening to Remus’ lungs. “Try to take a deep breath every hour and we’ll keep an eye on you. Should be completely clear in the next few days and we can get you home.”

Remus thanked the doctor and tried to wait patiently for his oxygen mask to be switched. The rubber tube was taped to his face and the prongs up his nose. “Where’s your pain at?” the nurse asked checking his saline bag.

“Four, maybe,” Remus answered. He’d had worse, but he’d also been better. “I’m starving though.” She smiled at him.

“Ah, boys. Always hungry. I got five myself. They damn near eat me out of house and home. I’ll get you something for the pain and something to eat,” she chuffed his cheek and left the room.

“You look tired,” Remus observed slumping against the pillows. He was still utterly exhausted.

“Hark, look who’s talking. You were on death’s doorstep a day ago,” Sirius commented. He did look awful, his black hair was limp, uncombed, and greasy. His skin was ashen and lacked its usual well-taken care of glow. The bags under his eyes were as dark as Remus’ and his normally expressive mischievous eyes were a bit hollow. The normal pink tint of his cheeks was gone and he looked like he had shrunk several inches.

“If I had known how bad it was we would have gone to the ER when I started feeling unwell outside of Regulus’ flat,” Remus admitted. He had thought in the first several hours it was a small fever, sleep it off. When the pain had set in he had thought it was the flu. Pneumonia had only come up when it hadn’t gotten better and the feeling of his head being underwater had started.

“Yeah, according to Lily that’s a lie, but your attempts to die had several interesting effects. Lily and I are apparently friends now. I guess me being willing to take care of you while sick was enough for her to… I don’t know… not hate me. I found out Regulus does not like hospitals or doctors but Barty does and asks a million questions of your doctor every time he is in the room. I think he knows more about your condition than anyone else,” Sirius informed him, still holding his hand. It made Remus feel all warm and tingly from just the simple act of holding hands.

“The chronically ill tend not to like doctors. I know Regulus doesn’t fall into that category exactly but I’m guessing his medication requires regular doctor visits,” Remus answered, understanding exactly why the younger Black brother would be opposed to all forms of medical professionals and places that smelled like them.

Sirius tipped his head as though considering this. “I guess I never really thought of it like that. I don’t spend a lot of time around doctors, myself,” Sirius responded with a shrug. Remus had to release his hand when the nurse came back in with a tray of food and a new saline bag.

“A little something for the pain that won’t make you drowsy,” she informed Remus using a syringe in the access port on his hand.

“Thanks,” he picked up the fork. “Something to be said for private hospitals, real metal utensils and the food looks edible.” Remus poked at the chicken, it wasn’t rubbery.

“As opposed to?” Sirius asked and Remus glanced over at him with a raised eyebrow.

“As opposed to a plastic spork, plastic mac and cheese, soggy veggies, and surprisingly good Jell-O,” Remus answered. He cut into the chicken. It was a bit bland but otherwise ok. The veggies were crisp. He ignored the brownie only for Sirius to filch it when he moved the tray away.

“That sounds completely horrendous,” Sirius responded, licking the chocolate off his fingers. Remus nodded, it was. An old man with a permanent scowl on his face walked into the room and snatched the tray off the table.

“The brownies are for patients,” he snapped, sounding like a wheezing vacuum cleaner that was dying.

“My boyfriend said I could have it,” Sirius responded, his own snotty tone making an appearance.

“No, I didn’t. You stole it,” Remus made a woeful sound, feeling the need to taunt Sirius a bit. The man scowled at Sirius and walked out. Sirius turned betrayed eyes on Remus. “Oh, my rich boyfriend stole my only brownie. How shall I survive? I’m going to wilt away and die,” Remus pretended to swoon, placing an arm over his eyes and leaning back against the mountain of pillows.

Sirius looked unamused. “You know I can buy you a brownie factory right?” Sirius asked and Remus shrugged. “I’m sorry I really thought you were done. I could go ask that nice nurse to get you another one.”

“Chill Padfoot, I’m just f*cking with you,” Remus answered as Sirius half-stood. Sirius sat back in the chair heavily.

“Sounds like someone is feeling better if he brought up f*cking,” Lily suddenly appeared in the room. She was carrying fake flowers. She handed him the container and gave him a tight hug. “They wouldn’t let me bring in a real plant, fascists, and cut flowers are barbaric so you get fake flowers.” Remus examined the plastic flowers while she greeted Sirius.

“Mum wants to know when she can come by and see you,” James said to Remus when he set the flowers to stand next to his tissue box.

“Why does she want to see me?” Remus asked, confused. Why would anyone come to see him in the hospital? He guessed the only reason Regulus and Barty had come was to check on Sirius.

“Because you’re practically marri…” James started and Sirius stepped on his foot. It was subtle but Remus saw it. He glanced over at Lily who rolled her eyes.

“You’re family Remus. She’s been beside herself with worry since she found out you were admitted to the hospital,” Sirius told him. “Barty and Regulus too. Regulus actually had a full-on row with one of the nurses because he didn’t want to leave when visiting hours were over, the other day. I think it was Barty that kept him from getting removed and banned.” Remus frowned.

People didn’t do that for him. People didn’t argue with nurses about visiting hours or trek down to see him. Sirius had likely misunderstood the situation. Regulus probably wanted to stay for Sirius or even in place of Sirius so that his older brother would go home and sleep. “Let her know I’m fine, she doesn’t have to worry about Sirius being sad that I died.”

“That self-deprecating nonsense isn’t funny. She is genuinely worried about you, not Sirius. You’re a complete doofus. Mum likes you so f*cking deal with it,” James informed him crossly. Sirius nodded as though James had made some undeniable point. Remus furrowed his brow.

“She was worried about… me… I’m sorry, what alternate universe are you living in?” Remus asked. He was surprised by Lily smacking him. “Ow… the hell…”

“I’ve been telling you for years you’re more important than you realize. We’ve all been out of our f*cking minds for the last four days. I thought my best friend was going to die. Sirius thought he was losing his lover. James a future family member. Get the f*ck over it, you’re loved and we’re worried. Let us love you, you little sh*thead,” Lily was so irritated with him she actually stomped her foot. It had been a long time since Remus had reduced her to that mad.

“Umm… if Effie wants to come and see me she’s welcome anytime,” Remus answered, deciding he really didn’t want to piss Lily off further. The next step was her face turning as red as her hair and literal steam coming out of her ears.

“I’ll let her know,” James answered. Lily seemed to settle at this, sitting down in a chair.

“Aberforth and Hagrid send their best. Ab told me to let you know that he's putting all of your sick time under vacation but he won’t count it against your vacation so you’ll still get paid and have all your vacation days,” Lily told Remus, pulling her water bottle out of her bag. He saw a new sticker on the metal bottle; ‘If I Die Water My Plants.’ Very on brand.

Remus nodded. Before Sirius this would have been welcome news, he was still getting paid despite being so sick. Now that Sirius had been also paying him, he found he was less worried about it. “And I asked Poppy to walk me through Lyall’s paperwork and such, so that is all covered as well,” Sirius told Remus.

“Did you tell her I was in the hospital?” Remus demanded and Sirius nodded with a shrug.

“I figured if your father was lucid she could let him know,” Sirius responded.

“Ffyc Sirius,” Remus groaned. “Where’s my phone?” Sirius pulled out his phone. Remus was surprised when it was handed to him fully charged. There were a few messages from Poppy, the last one was just ‘Call me.’

He quickly hit the little phone icon and listened to it ring twice. “Remus, how are you doing? Sirius let me know about the pneumonia,” she answered immediately. Remus shot a side eye at Sirius who simply raised an eyebrow back.

“I didn’t mean to worry you and Tad,” Remus responded and she tutted at him.

“I’m going to worry about you Rem since your Tad can’t remember that he’s supposed to. Are you feeling better?” she asked.

“Loads,” Remus told her even as his mood sank a little more. At least she wasn’t telling him something bad had happened to Lyall while he was sick. That would have destroyed him.

“I’m so glad to hear that. Lyall hasn’t had any real lucid days since the last so he doesn’t know. Do you want me to let him know what happened if he has a lucid before you can visit?” Poppy asked. Remus loved this woman for this reason. She let him control what he told his Tad and when.

“No, I don't want to worry him,” Remus denied. He could feel Lily’s disapproving look but ignored it. Lyall had enough to deal with, he didn’t need to be worried about Remus on a day when his brain was being kind.

“Alright, dear. Well, Sirius took care of all the expenses and such this month so don’t worry about that. You’ll be getting some mail soon, there is some sort of law change that might be to Lyall’s benefit,” Poppy continued. It was clear that after confirming he was okay she wanted to let him know Lyall was taken care of and that he did need to be aware of a new policy. He would check his email as soon as he was free from the hospital. “Oh B.T.W. our daughter was home this weekend and when she heard you were sick, she and Minnie went overboard in the kitchen. Don’t panic when she shows up with a cake the size of a house.”

“I didn’t know Minnie baked,” Remus frowned.

“I didn’t say it was edible,” Poppy contradicted and hung up.

“Yum,” Remus said to the dead phone and locked the screen. “You have to help me eat the inedible cake made by the lesbian English literature professor and her college-aged asexual daughter.” This threat was aimed at Sirius who looked horrified.

*~*

Chapter 36: Sentimental

Chapter Text

“How’s the invalid?” A voice asked. Remus looked up and saw Regulus and Barty standing there. The vase in Barty’s hands was clearly expensive based on the actual arrangement… and of course, the flowers were cut. The couple stepped into the room and Barty set the flowers down on the side table, next to Remus’ bed.

“If Lily sees those she will kill me and then come after you,” Remus informed Barty even as he ran his fingers over the soft petals. “Might be worth dying for,” he sniffed the flowers. They had a nice light flowery scent and didn’t make Remus want to sneeze.

“He’s clearly feeling much better,” Regulus answered sitting down across the room, lounging in the chair as if he was always meant to be there.

“Sorry, yes I am. The inflammation in my chest is mostly gone. The liquid is completely cleared out and they don’t think I have any further damage to my lungs which means my asthma will not progress to severe, it will stay at moderate,” Remus answered, finally looking away from the arrangement and setting down his book. “Thank you for the flowers. Please take them with you when you leave. I choose life.”

“I have never heard of flowers offending someone,” Barty responded and Remus shrugged.

“I don’t know how Lily survives. She had a moral qualm about killing animals for food and she has a moral qualm about killing plants for food. She doesn’t even like coffee because of the coffee bean process. Seriously, I don't know what the woman eats. I just know if I have dead, cut flowers, she might remove my penis to show me how it feels,” Remus responded.

“Is Lily into penis removal because last I heard she was into pegging?” Regulus responded. He poked his phone and sighed heavily. He stuck it in Barty’s bag. Barty reached into his pocket and handed Regulus his phone.

“I don’t know what Lily is into. The fact that I know about the pegging is deeply disturbing,” Remus responded. He and Lily hadn’t really discussed their sex lives since high school.

“If I was into women I would be into her,” Regulus answered blandly. Barty frowned.

“I’ll be sure to tell her that,” Sirius informed and Regulus shrugged.

“She propositioned Barty the night he drove her home. Might as well problematically objectify her too,” Regulus waved his hand flippantly. “Thirsty girl when she’s drunk.” Remus picked his book back up. This conversation spelled nothing but trouble for him.

The nurse came in and changed out his IV bag again. “Am I going home today?” Remus asked. The doctor hadn’t answered him this morning.

“Sorry, luv. The doctor didn’t like the heavy coughing brought your breakfast back up,” the nurse answered, patting his hand sympathetically.

“Can I have outside food at least?” Remus asked, not wanting another plate of chicken. Sure it was edible but he was already bored of chicken. He wanted something else.

“Of course,” she answered and made her way out of the room. Remus slumped back against the bed annoyed. He didn’t want to be in the hospital anymore and he was fairly sure he could recover at his and Sirius' place just as easily.

“I want a f*cking Big Mac so bad… will you go to Maccas for me or are you morally opposed to it?” Remus asked Sirius, looking over at him.

“Will you share your fries with me?” Sirius asked as Regulus perked up and immediately looked over at Barty.

“You could get your own fries, you know?” Remus pointed out. Sirius frowned as though he had never thought about this.

“I can get my own fries. f*ck, Jamie and I have been sharing a medium fry for years,” Sirius informed him. Remus had to work not to laugh. It was so funny and cute. Somehow these two grown-ass very wealthy men hadn’t realized they could buy more fries.

“If you’re going, can I also have Maccas?” Regulus asked, looking between Barty and Sirius.

“... Sure,” Sirius answered and Barty sighed.

“Do you want me to go with so—" Barty started, looking at his fiancé.

“Yes,” Regulus answered before Barty even finished. Remus guessed his order was complicated.

“I need my phone back,” Barty held out his hand. Regulus sighed and handed it over.

“Here, take mine. Rem I’m borrowing your phone,” Sirius handed his phone to Regulus and picked up Remus’ phone.

“Why not take yours and I’ll let Reg use mine?” Remus asked.

“Mine has actual games on it and you prefer your book anyway,” Sirius leaned over and kissed Remus softly. Remus tried but couldn’t scowl at Sirius. The man was literally going out to get him McDonald’s. “Don’t die while I’m gone.”

“Don’t die while you’re gone,” Remus said back to him. Sirius kissed him again and then his forehead. Remus watched him go, not liking it one bit.

“When did you two get so clingy?” Regulus asked not looking up from Sirius' phone.

“Near-death will do that to you. It’s why I’m glad he didn’t leave the night you tried to stay for him,” Remus closed his book over a scrap of paper and stared at the ceiling. At least they had finally removed the oxygen so he no longer had the ridiculous tubes strapped to his face. He hated all the tubes and wires still connected to him. Regulus finally looked up.

“What are you on about?” Regulus asked, his face confused now.

“Siri told me about the night you tried to fight the nurse about staying after visiting hours. I assumed you wanted to stay so Sirius would go home, shower, and sleep,” Remus responded. Now Regulus was looking at him like he was daft. He really wished people would stop giving him that look, he wasn’t stupid, he was sick.

“Are you insane?” Regulus asked. Remus opened his mouth but Regulus had continued without pause. “Sirius loves you. Getting him to leave is impossible. He’s going back to that flat when you do and not a second sooner. I was annoyed at the nurse. Where does she get off telling me I have to f*cking leave when my future brother-in-law is lying in bed dying? Does she not know who I am? My family owns this f*cking hospital. If it weren’t for Barty I would have booted her out on her pompous ass.”

There was no arrogance or ego to this statement. It was just a statement of fact. Remus gaped at him. He wasn’t sure what part to tackle first. “Oh wipe that dopey look off your face. We all like you. Sirius is so in love with you, he’d dive in front of a bus to make you happy. And while I don’t understand how, you obviously love him too. I’ve seen that look on Barty’s face when I do something completely daft like put the keys in the freezer and the ice cube trays in my briefcase. No, that is not a true story.”

Remus managed a small smile at the obvious lie. Regulus looked back up and met Remus’ eyes which was a feat in and of itself. “I like you, Remus. You’re nice to me despite my brain not working right even on medication. You don’t pick at me for the things I do or how Barty is basically my caretaker. You make Sirius happy and you’re a decent guy. I wanted the nurse to let me stay in case something happened. I wanted to be here when you woke up and I’m sorry I wasn’t.”

Remus was sure this was the most Regulus had said aloud in front of him all at once. “I’m glad you didn’t die,” Regulus finished and looked back down at the phone. “Barty and Siri are on their way back with food.”

Just like that, the moment was over, but something had shifted between the two. Sirius stepped into the room first and ruffled Regulus' hair. “I hope you weren’t surfing p*rn on my phone,” Sirius informed him. Barty handed Regulus a small bag and a phone charger.

“Why would I need to watch p*rn? I have Barty,” Regulus had stood up and was plugging in the charger by the bed. This was said in such a flat tone that it was obvious he was completely earnest in what he was saying. Sirius glanced over at Barty who gave him an innocent smile.

“Some part of you had to know that when two adults love each other very much,” Barty started and Sirius cringed.

“Nope, absolutely not. I don’t need to hear about how you are violating my brother,” Sirius stated loudly. A nurse outside the door paused and glanced back.

“He is not violating me, I am a willing and active participant,” Regulus protested immediately, opening the bag. Sirius looked like he was deeply regretting his life choices. Remus reached over and managed to get one of the rails to slide down. He scooted over and patted the bed. He was sure it was against the rules but he didn’t care at the moment. Sirius was obviously of the same opinion. He settled on the bed and handed Remus his burger.

It was Maccas, but it was better than whatever the hospital was serving. He ate it in his room, surrounded by Sirius, Regulus, and Barty. It was the best he had felt since leaving Regulus and Barty’s flat the night of their impromptu dinner. Remus felt less like an interloper and more like a wanted member of the group. It was odd, but wonderfully welcomed. He smiled when Sirius fed him a few of the fries he had bought himself and then leaned his head on Remus' shoulder.

--

Euphemia and Fleamont came by the next day. Remus was finally nearing the end of his hospital stay. If he could stop coughing after the morning breathing exercises he would be allowed to go home. While the infection was out of his system he was told the recovery could take anywhere from a week to a month or longer. He had also been warned that because of his immune system already being compromised he should probably take some extra time off to avoid getting a secondary infection.

Seeing the older couple was a welcome distraction. “Hiya hun. You feeling alright? You look terrible,” Euphemia gave him a soft hug and ran her hand over his forehead.

“You would think people would get tired of telling me that,” Remus commented but leaned into her warm affection.

“You scored a catch like this, you can’t afford to let your looks go now,” Fleamont teased, wrapping his arm around Sirius. Sirius wrinkled his nose and shoved Fleamont. “‘Course he also looks a little worse for wear. Luckily for you, I brought clean clothes when I was feeding your demon.” That answered the question of who was looking after Bastet. Sirius was clearly about to make a snippy comment.

“Oh hush up both of you. Are you feeling better?” Euphemia asked Remus smoothing his hair. Remus nodded.

“Much, I’m hoping they let me go home tomorrow. I don’t need oxygen anymore and the pressure on my chest has mostly let up. At their advice and Sirius' insistence I am going to take at least another week at home,” Remus rolled his eyes, allowing her to play with his hair.

“Good boy,” Euphemia praised. It didn’t make him as warm as when Sirius said it but it was lovely to hear. “Since I know that Sirius can burn water I’ll come by with some food for you two to survive until you’re feeling like taking care of him again.”

“Thank you,” Remus murmured and she lightly touched his cheek. She leaned forward and kissed his forehead. “How is Bastet?” he asked Fleamont. He missed the small warm alien. She had tried so hard to make Remus feel better.

“She misses you both but she’s ok. She’s eating and drinking like she should. I bathed her a couple of days ago and now she is wearing a grey turtleneck sweater. James is watching her, don’t worry Siri.” Fleamont answered.

“Thanks, Pa,” Sirius muttered. Remus could see a bit of worry ease off his boyfriend. He sat back down and immediately took Remus’ hand.

“You were looking after your partner, we can look after your cat,” Fleamont answered. Remus found himself enjoying the visit from Euphemia and Fleamont. Just like with Barty and Regulus, he didn’t feel like an outlier or that he was just being tolerated. They had actually been concerned about him.

--

The final visit was Aberforth and Hagrid. Remus was trying to convince the doctor he was fine to leave. He was being undermined by Sirius and his own inability to stand up properly. He felt this was wholly unfair. He wouldn’t have to stand at the flat, Sirius had already made it clear that Remus would not be allowed to look after himself.

“He’s definitely feeling better, arguing with medical professionals,” Aberforth chided, stepping into the room. Remus slumped back against the pillows.

“We’ll get you out of here when you’re actually fully recovered,” The doctor promised. “Take your meds and try to relax.” Remus made a face at his back. The IV had been removed this morning so now all of his medication was oral. He was still taking the antifungal medication and antibiotics to ensure the pneumonia was completely gone.

The doctor left the room as Hagrid and Aberforth stepped in. The room seemed so much smaller with the two large men in it. “Lily told us you were being a pain in the arse,” Hagrid commented, taking a seat.

“You know I’m allowed to be self-deprecating, it's like half of my personality,” Remus informed him.

“He’s Cleopatra if he thinks Lily and I are going to let him continue to be rude to himself,” Sirius commented, tapping out a message on his phone. He had been putting off work as much as he could but the risk of several big deals meant he’d been answering emails and putting out fires all day. It was clear he didn’t like it. Remus frowned, clearly confused, and Sirius smirked at the expression. “Queen of denial Moony.”

“You’re a jerk,” Remus huffed, crossing his arms while Hagrid and Aberforth laughed at him. “How are things going?” he asked his boss.

“Well, my morning lead wanted a vacation and he decided the best way to do that was to try and die, so you know, I’ve been worried,” Aberforth commented.

“You know, everyone is making such a big deal out of this whole thing… I would like to point out I get this sick about once a year,” Remus reminded them. Aberforth and Hagrid had taken it in turn with Lily to sit with him last year when he had been hospitalized with the flu. “Is this the new norm? Accusing me of trying to die?”

“No, you’re not allowed to get this sick again,” Sirius said with complete confidence. “Pump you full of vitamin D and wrap you in cotton wool.”

“I don’t think that would work,” Remus pointed out. He had tried many things over the years, but nothing ever really helped. He just washed his hands religiously and tried to avoid sick people.

“We don’t have enough time for me to make all of the vitamin D jokes,” Hagrid commented.

“Why did I think marrying an inappropriate giant was a good plan?” Aberforth asked, rolling his eyes at the ceiling.

“I assumed you married Hagrid for his rugged good looks and ability to look after you in a zombie apocalypse,” Remus responded, getting a laugh from Hagrid and a sigh from Aberforth.

“We are surrounded by dorks,” Aberforth informed Sirius.

“I’ll take it,” Sirius reached over and smoothed Remus’ hair behind his ear. Remus flushed and looked over at Sirius. He was grateful for Sirius in his life and the incredible way he was still looking after him.

--

“Should have bought you a bigger bag,” Sirius commented as Remus eyed the stack of cards and the full bag.

“I didn’t have this much stuff when I got here,” Remus quipped, sitting on the edge of the bed. Standing up for even short periods was still too much sometimes.

“People care about you,” Sirius told him, kissing the side of his head. Sirius had been so sweet all day. It was making Remus feel confused. On the one hand, Sirius was acting like nothing was wrong. On the other, Remus had signed the discharge papers two hours ago and Sirius hadn’t mentioned returning the collar to Remus’ neck. Remus hated how naked he felt without it. He hated how he felt like this was the first step to Sirius breaking up with him. Maybe Sirius had a moral issue with breaking up with him while he was still sick.

“That’s still confusing,” Remus informed him and Sirius took the stack of get-well cards from Remus and tucked them into his own handbag with Remus’ book which also hadn’t fit into the duffel that Sirius had bought from the gift shop along with a small, brown, stuffed bear.

Remus watched as Sirius checked around the room to make sure nothing of Remus’ was being left behind. He sat in the wheelchair, annoyed that he couldn’t walk to the car. Yes, he knew he wouldn’t be able to walk that far, but it was still annoying. “You’re still wobbly on your legs, just let yourself be taken care of,” Sirius informed him, pushing the wheelchair out of the room.

“You’re going to have to let me do things for myself again eventually,” Remus grumbled.

"Today is not that day," Sirius informed him. Sirius wheeled him out and left him to wait while he pulled the car around. Soon enough they were on the road on the way home.

“I’m glad I didn’t throw up in your car,” Remus commented thinking back to how sick he’d been when he had been in this car a week ago.

“I am glad you didn’t throw up in the car,” Sirius agreed. “I managed to hold off Regulus and Lily for a couple of days but they want to throw a party to celebrate your recovery. Let me know when you feel up to the party and I’ll let them know.” Remus made a face.

“Is there a way to just have that never be an option?” Remus asked. He wasn’t going to tell Sirius when he felt up to a party. That would be admitting he felt better and might be the impetus Sirius needed to tell him to hit the road. He wasn’t going to speed to the end even if every second held in stasis was killing him.

“Doubt it. Lily and Reg each on their own are scary and stubborn, it might have been a mistake to introduce them to each other,” Sirius pulled into the garage. “Sorry, you’re going to have to let yourself be the center of attention.”

Remus frowned and climbed out of the car when it was parked. Sirius held his arm as they made their way to the lift and then he was deposited straight on the couch. “Do you want something to eat? I know mum mentioned a lasagna she left for us,” Sirius was already pottering about the kitchen not even looking at Remus.

Remus just sighed, this confirmed what he already knew. Sirius was already checked out. He didn’t want to hold, look at, or kiss Remus anymore. “I think I just want to go to bed at this point. Long day.”

*~*

Chapter 37: Break Up

Chapter Text

Something about his tone must have caught Sirius' attention. “Are you ok?” Sirius asked, leaning on the counter. Bastet hopped up on the counter and chirped at him. Sirius ran his hand over her.

“I’m just tired,” Remus looked down at his hands, his tone belying the truth. Sirius gave Bastet a soft kiss on her head then moved over to the couch.

“Did we leave the hospital too soon?” Sirius asked, pressing a hand to his forehead. Remus brushed his hand off.

“No, I’m fine,” Remus made to stand and Sirius immediately stood to help him. Remus shrugged off his hands again.

“Let me help you up the stairs,” Sirius urged but kept his distance for the moment. His face was now worried more than even a moment ago.

“I don’t want you helping me out of some misplaced sense of guilt or obligation,” Remus argued and watched as the concern in Sirius’ eyes was replaced with confusion.

“What are you on about?” Sirius asked and Remus sighed. He leaned against the railing of the stairs and fixed Sirius with a resigned look.

“Did you think I wouldn’t notice that you’re ready to kick me to the curb as soon as I get better? You haven’t really looked at me all day, you haven’t kissed me properly since I was admitted and…” Remus dropped the statement, his hand had come up to run over his neck missing the familiar chain that had declared him as Sirius'.

Sirius' eyes followed the movement and his brow furrowed. “Remus… I didn’t mean to hurt you. I took the collar off when the nurse told me you needed to remove all jewelry. I noticed you had been sick on it so I asked Lily to take it to my jeweler for a cleaning. I was waiting until you felt better to offer it to you again,” Sirius made his way to the hook by the door and pulled a box out of his bag. Remus felt tears stinging his eyes.

“As for not looking at you and kissing you all day you don’t feel well and you seem a bit irritated with all the mollycoddling. I wanted to give you space,” Sirius' hand was soft against his jaw. Remus could feel the rasp of his own stubble against Sirius' hand. He gave a small sigh and sat on the stairs. Sirius sat next to him. “Did you really think I was going to break up with you?”

“I’m not a picnic, Sirius. I get sick this badly once a year, at least, and deal with chronic health issues the rest of the time. Why would you want to be with me instead of someone fun, adventurous, and young? Someone who can keep up with you,” Remus plucked a tissue from a nearby table and wiped his nose.

“I wasn’t in that hospital wishing I was somewhere else, you know. I was wishing your eyes would open up. I was wishing you would say something sarcastic when I was being obnoxious or entitled,” Sirius assured him. “You make me happy and I want to look after you.” Remus looked over at him. He felt drained and completely exhausted. “I want to continue with you.” Sirius swallowed and seemed to consider his next statement. “I love you.”

Remus felt his breath catch. It was completely different from the way it had been stolen by illness or asthma. This was authentic and beautiful and he could handle it. He took a deep breath as a few tears leaked out. “I love you too,” Remus whispered out, his voice watery as he leaned into Sirius.

Their lips met and Sirius held him close lending his strength to Remus’ still weak frame. Sirius' lips were electric against Remus’. He had missed Sirius so much. His hand tangled in Sirius' shirt as they pressed as close as possible. The kiss ended and Sirius continued to hold Remus close. “Let’s take a bath and I’ll put this back on before we go to bed. I don’t like how forlorn you looked without it.”

“Makes me feel safe, makes me think of you,” Remus admitted. “Makes me feel loved.” Sirius ran his fingers over the stubble on Remus’ chin and cheeks again.

“So very loved,” Sirius promised. Remus would just have to work on remembering that he was loved. So many people had turned up for him and Sirius had stayed the whole time. He was grateful for all of them. Sirius helped Remus stand up and led him to the bathroom. Sirius turned on the tap of the tub and dumped some lavender bubbles in the water. “Do you want to shave? I know you don’t like stubble on your own face.”

“I can’t, my hands aren’t steady enough even if I could stand long enough,” Remus answered, staying on the wooden stool Sirius had helped him on.

“I wasn’t suggesting you hold a sharp blade to your face,” Sirius answered. He went over to the counter and collected the bowl and brush. “Trust me?” Sirius asked, standing in front of him.

“Conditionally,” Remus responded and got a co*cky smile.

“Just don’t twitch,” Sirius informed him and applied the brush to his face. The lather was a bit cold but warmed quickly. The brush was soft against his face and Sirius looked so focused. Remus couldn’t even bring himself to be nervous when Sirius placed the bowl and brush back on the counter and returned to Remus with a bowl of water and a razor. Sirius tipped his head to the side and the metal was cool against his cheek as it slid down.

Remus tried not to fidget as the blade was against his skin. He only winced once, and not because of a cut but because of an uncomfortable rub against dry skin. “Sorry,” Sirius lessened the pressure immediately.

“Not your fault, my skin is just patchy,” Remus assured him when Sirius leaned over to rinse the blade again. Another smooth line down, those grey eyes were so intent on their task. It was rare to see Sirius so focused.

“You would look sexy with a full beard,” Sirius informed him with a grin as he rinsed the blade again.

“He tells me after he shaves part of my face. I’ll leave the trendy stubble to you,” Remus responded instead. Sirius rubbed a hand over his face and glanced over at the mirror.

“I should trim, it’s a bit thick for my tastes,” Sirius groused. He left Remus for a moment to turn off the water in the tub. He returned to Remus and settled on shaving his face again. Stroke by stroke Sirius returned Remus to clean-shaven. The aftershave smelled like Sirius. The warm water of the bath was heaven. It was even better when Sirius pulled Remus into his arms and held him close.

The lavender in the water soothed his sore muscles and Sirius holding him repaired the heartbreak of the afternoon. “I want to go see my Tad soon, even if he’s not lucid,” Remus whispered, the silence of the bathroom felt sacred and he didn’t want to break that.

“Whenever you want love,” Sirius agreed. He picked up the soap and lathered up a flannel. He ran it over Remus’ skin scrubbing away the hospital smell. “I have to go to the gallery tomorrow. Do you want to come with me?” Sirius asked. It sounded like he didn’t want to. Remus guessed he couldn’t put it off any longer.

“Not really. I’ll be ok here for a bit,” Remus assured him. Sirius snorted.

“Pick a person to call or I will pick,” Sirius argued immediately. Remus scowled but quickly mentally scrolled through his options.

“Regulus,” Remus responded.

“Working, I’ll call Barty,” Sirius countered. Remus figured that was as good an option as any. Lily was working and he guessed James was as well. He wondered what Barty did for a living. Sirius helped him stand so he could be washed properly.

Once Remus was clean and dry Sirius helped him sit on the bed and went back downstairs. When he returned he sat behind Remus and kissed the back of his neck. The cool chain slipped around his throat and was secured with warm fingers. Remus reached up to touch the reassuring chain. “I love how this looks against your skin.”

“Is there anything you don’t love tonight?” Remus asked, glancing back at Sirius over his shoulder. Sirius narrowed his eyes and stuck his tongue out at Remus. He leaned forward and kissed Remus.

“Hush up, let’s get some rest,” Sirius informed him. They settled on the bed. Sirius curled around Remus. The bed was wonderfully comfortable after that uncomfortable hospital bed with scratchy sheets. It was blissfully quiet after a week of machines monitoring everything. Remus felt himself relaxing properly.

“I missed being home,” Remus admitted stroking Sirius' hands that were linked over his stomach.

“Me too,” Sirius agreed, sounding very content at that moment. Silence reigned for several long moments. “I like you being the little spoon, makes me feel like some sort of emotional support backpack.”

Remus snorted in surprise and could feel Sirius' own laughter. “Completely and totally ridiculous and absolutely daft,” Remus informed him and Sirius nodded.

“Yes, I am but luckily I have you to remind me not to put my coffee in the freezer,” Sirius' voice was gentle in the soft darkness.

“I’m less concerned about the coffee in the freezer and more about the time you put a palette in the closet,” Remus pointed out. Sirius huffed.

“I told you I was painting but then I remembered I needed to look for a coat for James. I didn’t want Bastet to eat the paint. Ergo the paint was set on the shelf in the closet,” Sirius explained.

“You can explain it three ways to Sunday, but that does not change the fact that I have a blue stain on my brown sweater,” Remus retorted. Sirius made a sound in his throat and soft lips kissed Remus’ cheek.

“Like I said I have you to keep me alive,” Sirius quipped back.

--

Barty showed up right before Sirius was ready to leave. “Good morning,” he greeted. Remus tipped his coffee cup to him from the couch where he was wrapped up in a blanket. Bastet was in his lap and allowed Remus to use her as a book stand. She was purring as he stroked her face.

“Rem do you know where…” Sirius trailed off when Remus pointed toward the door. His shoes, bag, keys, and coffee were right there.

“You got very cross with me for standing for twenty minutes, but I got all your stuff stacked by the front door,” Remus spoke up. Barty bit back a smile. Taking care of the Black brothers really was a thankless task.

“Oh… thank you,” Sirius responded. He made his way over to the couch and kissed Remus softly. “Love you.”

“Love you daft man,” Remus tweaked Sirius' hair. Sirius ran a finger over his nose.

“Thanks for coming to look after him,” Sirius said to Barty as the other man decided to poke about the kitchen and see if he could find coffee mugs. They were in nearly the same place in this kitchen as they were in his and Regulus’ apartment.

“It’s my pleasure,” Barty answered, helping himself to a mug of coffee. Sirius seemed to remember the rules of being a good host and offered milk and sugar.

“Don’t need a babysitter,” Remus called from the couch.

“Yes, you do because I know you won’t take it easy if I leave you alone,” Sirius responded. Barty added milk to his coffee.

“Not a babysitter, consider it a friend helping to look after you,” Barty offered instead. Remus’ hand popped over the back of the couch and he flipped both of them off. “Off you pop we got this.” He shooed Sirius out the door and then made his way to the sitting area.

Remus focused on the book but he was well aware of the man wandering about the space. Barty seemed fascinated by the half-finished paintings on the canvasses and the finished paintings on the walls. Next to the brushes and a mostly purple canvas a cat wand was stored with the brushes in a paint-stained jar.

Despite the cluttered space, it was clean. Remus could handle clutter. He was just glad Sirius was a clean person. The flowers from the hospital, that Remus had convinced Lily were not a war crime, sat on a small table next to the fake flowers. Behind those was a miniature sketch of Bastet from the side. It was a neat picture. It was very clear it was an artist’s loft. It was starting to show a soft academic vibe here too. Remus had reorganized the bookshelves so they could store actual books.

“You seem like you’re going a bit stir crazy,” Barty observed when he sat down on the other couch. Remus carefully tucked a piece of paper in the book.

“I am. I was ill but I’m feeling better. I am also an adult, I should be allowed to pursue the fridge for blueberries and feed the cat,” Remus responded, meeting Barty’s eyes.

“He just doesn’t want you back in the hospital,” Barty reminded him softly.

“I know and if it wasn't for the fact that I know I scared the hell out of him I would have pitched a proper fit about being babysat,” Remus’ tone was a bit clipped. It didn’t matter what Barty and Sirius called it, Remus had a babysitter. The only way it would have been more obvious would have been if Sirius left pizza money.

“The things we do for the love of a Black,” Barty stated and Remus inclined his head in agreement.

--

Remus refused to stay on the couch when Barty made lunch. He moved to the barstools at the counter. Barty was checking his phone and Remus set his glass back down on the counter. Automatically that hand reached out and moved it. It hadn’t been anywhere near the edge but whatever, perhaps he had been concerned about Remus catching it with an elbow.

It was only when it happened the third time that Remus felt his patience fray. He set it in a specific spot to minimize the area he would have to clean later and also because it was where his hand went automatically. “I swear if you move my cup again I am going to go f*cking spare,” Remus stated. Barty’s bright eyes came off his phone to Remus’ face.

His eyes moved from Remus’ face to the glasses and plates on the table. He scrubbed a hand over his face. “Sorry Remus, it's a habit. Reggie is insanely brilliant. I have watched that man talk down industry tycoons and make multi million deals with very few concessions on his part over an extended lunch. Then I turn around and somehow there’s water all over the floor and he hasn’t even noticed,” Barty explained.

Remus felt he resembled that comment. “Sirius has an annoying habit of putting cups in the freezer; paint cups or empty cups, doesn’t matter. The other day I made coffee and it was too hot. Instead of letting it cool like a rational human, he put it in the freezer and promptly forgot about it. He collected it before it was solid, but apparently, it was too cold then. When I suggested microwaving it he gave me a look like I had grown a second head. I got a lecture about texture before he wandered away. That was all after listening to him explain a very large sale with a million details to his assistant without the aid of any notes.”

“Does he have a color code for food?” Barty asked and Remus’ brow furrowed. “Regulus has a specific order of food. Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and then purple.” Remus’ frown deepened. Not all food fell into that category.

“What about white, brown or black?” he asked.

“White then black and finally brown. Something about the only brown thing he likes is chocolate and that should always be last. He’s wrong, he likes lots of brown food,” Barty shrugged.

“The only thing that is similar is Sirius' skins or no skins,” Remus relented. Barty gestured for him to explain so Remus gave him the original explanation as well as the ones he had learned since then. Barty’s face started open and accepting, quickly changing to holding back laughter and finally concern.

“I forgot what it was like to talk to an unmedicated ADHD person,” Barty commented when Remus reached the end of the list.

“I find I don’t mind. I don’t feel like Sirius would be the same person if he was medicated,” Remus replied. Yes, Sirius' scattered brain sometimes drove Remus batty, but it was how he fell for the daft man. He didn’t mind picking up the things Sirius forgot about and placing them somewhere for him to find later.

“Reggie told me about the strict medical rules they were under as kids. He mentioned that Sirius would flush his meds whenever he could. I know for Regulus if he doesn’t have his meds he is completely scattered. His brain refuses to do anything but hyper-focus without the Adderall. Sounds like a good thing but it doesn’t hyper-focus on what is important. I once found him on a two-day bender about mushrooms when I had to go on a business trip shortly after we started dating,” Barty spoke about Regulus with such a deep abiding affection. It was clear the man could strip naked and run through the streets of London covered in Indian ink and Barty would bail him out of jail with no questions asked.

“How did you two end up together?” Remus asked curiously.

“I know Regulus from school. He was my best friend. Just sort of grew from there,” Barty answered easily and smiled. “The only first of his I can’t claim is his first kiss and I still want to punch James in the face for that.” Remus gave him a confused look. “I don’t really care that I didn’t get to kiss Regulus first. I am upset that James only kissed him to figure out if he was into blokes or not. Seems kind of mean.”

“You’ll have to get in line. Lily gets to punch him and then I think I’m supposed to do it but you can have a go after that,” Remus explained. He still wasn’t sure about the order but Lily was utterly convinced she was going to have to kill James, especially if he kept touching her plants and earrings. It was quite funny to read the texts she sent Remus. The most recent one was about James watering her plants after staying overnight. He had apparently ruined her whole life by screwing up the watering schedule.

“Poor boy,” Barty lamented with a grin. Remus set his glass down and swatted at Barty’s hand when it reached out automatically. Barty retracted his hands with a laugh.

*~*

Chapter 38: Black Family Pearls

Chapter Text

Remus woke up as he had the last few days, in Sirius' arms. The apartment was quiet, Bastet was curled up warm and soft against his stomach and Sirius was breathing softly behind him. He shifted just slightly and Sirius' arm tightened over his stomach. Remus also got an angry chirp from Bastet.

“Sorry for moving. I am human and my hip hurts,” Remus informed the wrinkly cat. She blinked at him, annoyed. Remus watched as she stood up and stretched, her face splitting open. Her tail brushed over his face as she jumped down.

“Do you need me to let you go?” Sirius asked, his voice was deep with sleep. Remus hummed happily as lips brushed over his neck.

“No,” Remus answered but did roll over. Sirius' lips were firm on his. His hands were warm as they slipped under the thin tank top Remus was wearing. Remus slipped closer enjoying the naked skin of Sirius as he wrapped his arms around the other man.

“How are you feeling?” Sirius asked, his hands sliding up over Remus’ back rucking up his shirt. Remus leaned into him.

“If you’re asking because you want to get me naked, I am fine,” Remus responded, wiggling as close as possible. Sirius' teeth nibbled over his skin as he continued tugging up the shirt. As soon as it was over Remus’ head he tried to kiss Sirius again. The shirt was wrapped tightly around his hands and he was tugged back.

Remus fell back against the bed as Sirius gently tugged his hands over his head. “How deep do you want to play?” Sirius asked. Remus looked up at him and then dropped his eyes.

“I put that in your hands, sir,” he answered appropriately. Sirius took a deep shaky breath but seemed pleased if the desperate way he kissed Remus was any indication. Sirius' hands traced over his skin.

“I want to try something new,” Sirius informed him. Remus’ teeth found his bottom lip. Sirius' fingers smoothed over his lip and his free hand pinched a nipple. “You’re not allowed to injure yourself.”

“I was thinking,” Remus protested and gasped as Sirius’s hand stung over his thigh. He swallowed. Sirius was the definition of lax about their contract and rules but he did insist on some of them. “Sorry, Padfoot.” Sirius' hands and lips immediately softened on his skin.

“Will you kneel in the middle of the bed?” Sirius' voice was velvet. It was clear the reason he was asking instead of ordering was to make sure Remus was well enough for this. Remus sat up on his knees in the middle of the bed. Sirius grinned and moved around him.

The heavy duvet was shifted off the bed as were all the pillows. Sirius came back over and kissed Remus, removing his shirt from around his wrists. “Take off your boxers, return to this position, and close your eyes.” That soft silky voice had him scrambling to do what Sirius had told him.

Remus closed his eyes and took a deep breath as he settled into position. He could hear Sirius moving around him but kept his eyes closed. Sirius had seen him at his absolute worst. He loved Remus. That trust and love was absolute. “Open your mouth,” Sirius' voice was still soft. Remus swallowed and opened his mouth.

A gag slid in and nerves rose as Sirius fastened it behind his head. A cool metal clip was placed in his hand. “If you need out, drop the clip, it functions like your safe word right now,” Sirius' voice was uncharacteristically without mirth or seduction. Remus nodded and took another deep breath. The nerves settled and a low burn started in his belly.

Sirius continued moving about. He lifted Remus’ wrist and fastened a leather cuff around it and locked the cuff in place. He did the same to his other wrist and then to his ankles. “This is the key to the locks on the cuffs,” the thin chain joined Remus’ necklace. Sirius reached for the leather collar. He made sure it was loose enough then clipped Remus’ wrists to it.

Remus kept himself pliable as Sirius adjusted him. He gasped behind the gag when a cold thing touched his shoulder. “Cooling you down Moony,” Sirius offered. The cold was run down his shoulder and over his back tracing along next to his spine. Remus whined as Sirius repeated the action on the other side.

He whined and jerked when Sirius' mouth closed over a nipple and that delicious tongue pressed the cold against the sensitive nub. Sirius' hand didn’t sting over his skin. Instead, it was leather straps that stung over his shoulder. Sirius was waiting for his reaction. “Don’t run away from me, pretty boy.”

Remus took another deep breath and adjusted back to the position he’d been in before. Sirius returned to running the cold over his skin. Remus shifted away a few times. Each time those leather straps stung over his shoulders. One slap stung more than others and he shifted away this time. Sirius' hand was on his back in a moment.

The gag was removed. “Yellow for that shoulder,” Remus breathed as soon as he was able. Sirius' kiss was harsh and Remus let him dominate the kiss.

“I am so proud of you for telling me,” Sirius informed him. “Open,” Remus did as he was told. The gag was returned to his mouth. His shoulders were spared from further beating. Sirius would lash him across the thighs when he moved. He kept this up until Remus was shivering.

Sirius' fingers were warm against his shoulders and his chest. “You’re such a good boy, Remus,” Sirius breathed against his skin. This warmed Remus as Sirius shifted behind him. “You can’t ask with the gag in your mouth but I want you to wait for my permission.” Remus nodded eagerly. He would give everything he had to Sirius, surrendering his org*sms was easy.

Sirius shifted Remus so his legs were further apart and carefully situated a hand between them. His fingers were warm and slick between Remus’ cheeks. The finger probed carefully between them and slid into the small hole. Remus groaned against the gag and leaned against Sirius.

Sirius' arm went around Remus and played with his nipples. The light pinching and tugging had Remus gasping as Sirius opened him carefully. Remus kept his eyes shut but carefully shifted. Sirius paused but noticed it wasn’t a shift because he was squirming away. He genuinely wanted to ask something. Sirius' hand left his chest and undid the gag.

“I remember on the contract… nipple clamps. I want to try,” Remus breathed. Sirius' smile against his neck had him shivering for a whole different reason.

“My sweet love,” Sirius' voice was pleased. He opened Remus all the way before climbing off the bed. Remus listened to the low sounds coming from Sirius and eventually the bed dipped again. “These will pinch…”

“Obviously,” Remus didn’t check himself before he said it. He could feel Sirius' gaze and the raise of a dark eyebrow.

“That’s five,” Sirius' voice was low and dark. “It will hurt a bit but keep in mind they hurt worse when they come off. If you safeword in these I will negate that pain as much as I can, but just keep that in mind. Verbal consent Moony.”

Remus had been nodding. He swallowed. “Please put the clamps on me, sir,” Remus breathed. Sirius pinched his nipple and a moment later a harder pinch was on the nipple. Remus sucked in a deep breath. “Can I have a minute please?” Remus’ voice was soft as Sirius pinched the other nipple.

Sirius’ hands softened. “You look so lovely, all trussed up and submissive for me. If you can’t manage it I won’t hold it against you. I want you to enjoy all the ways I hurt you.”

“Ffyc, Siri,” Remus breathed those words making his co*ck twitch.

“That’s fifteen. One for forgetting my title or approved nickname and one for language which we’ve talked about before.” Remus thought the second one was completely unfair but he was surrendering to Sirius. He trusted that man with everything he had. If Sirius said he’d earned fifteen, he’d earned fifteen.

The clamp on his nipple was lightly tugged and he gave a half-pained, half-pleased moan. It hurt but in the best way. “Can I try the other?” Remus asked. Sirius' fingers pinched his nipple, tugging until it was a hard nub. Remus whined as the device was clamped on. Sirius stayed in front of Remus waiting for him to decide whether he could handle it or not.

Remus let the throbbing wash through him and determined he could handle it. “Feels sharp but good,” Remus informed him. Sirius ran his fingers over them.

“Looks good,” Sirius approved. He picked up the gag again and tapped Remus’ jaw.

“Can I ask for no more gag? I want to be able to talk…” Remus wasn’t sure he wanted to surrender his voice. Sirius paused and Remus could feel him turning over the request.

“I’ll add five more,” Sirius warned him and Remus took a deep breath and nodded. He heard the thunk as the gag was tossed aside. Sirius shifted around and Remus gave an honest squeak when he was suddenly tipped forward. His ass was in the air and his forearms kept his face off the mattress.

Sirius adjusted his legs. “This is a punishment so I want you to count and at the end, apologize. If the apology feels false I’ll add five more.” This was the first time Remus had endured a proper punishment.

“Yes sir,” he answered just loud enough to be heard. Sirius' hands traced over his back and then over his bottom. Was this just as nerve-wracking for him? Remus felt the leather slide over his bottom and tensed for the first strike.

“Relax,” Sirius' voice urged and Remus sank into that voice. Was it odd that he was letting the man who was hurting him comfort him? He didn’t care, he had broken the rules, he would take the punishment. “And your safewords still apply. No punishment or penalty will be added if you need out. If you go nonverbal drop the clip in your hand.”

“Yes sir,” Remus answered again. This is why he took comfort in Sirius. It didn’t matter that he had broken the rules and was sitting for a punishment. His consent and comfort still mattered. Sirius had a safety plan if his brain went squidgy. He took another deep breath and arched his back slightly.

The first slap of leather against his skin was surprising. Remus gave a small whimper. “One,” he breathed. “Can I have another?” a sharp breath from Sirius had him worrying he had taken it too far. He liked the tingle across his bottom. A kiss was pressed to the base of his spine. Then the leather bit across his other cheek.

He bit back his curse but grinned as he thought of something. “Dau. Ga i un arall?” The words rolled easily off his tongue. Sirius was silent for a moment.

“Don’t think you can distract me with your funny words, magic man. English, Welsh, or even Klingon, we’re getting through this,” the next blow came down and Remus once again sucked in a sharp breath. f*ck it stung against his already abused flesh. He kept up the Welsh until they reached twenty.

His ass stung but he had managed not to run away. Tears stained his cheeks but not in a bad way. It was so exhilarating to be with Sirius like this. His brain was worry-free and clear. All he cared about at this moment was pleasing Sirius and he did that by allowing Sirius the control. “I’m sorry for mouthing off, cursing, and forgetting your title, sir.” His tone was contrite.

Sirius' fingers traced over the red of his bum. Remus gave small whimpers but stayed still. He hissed and jumped when a half-melted ice cube was pressed against the warm cheek. “They’re so hot to the touch I half expected steam,” Sirius' voice was idly amused. Three more cubes and Remus was trying desperately to stay in place.

“I forgive you,” Sirius finally answered. His fingers probed the hole again and slid in easily. Remus welcomed the intrusion and the gentle stretching even though those fingers were still cold from handling the ice.

“Can I ride you to show how truly sorry I am?” Remus asked. It was something he’d been thinking of for a while.

“Naughty, lovely man,” Sirius praised. He tugged Remus back onto his knees. He shifted to lay on the bed. He offered Remus a gentle guide and hands to get situated. Sirius held his co*ck in place and when he felt the tip against the hole he nudged up.

Remus kept his eyes shut and took a deep breath. “Down,” Sirius urged and gave Remus no further adjustment period. A hand as hard as steel gripped his hip and pressed him down. It had been a couple of weeks so Remus felt the sensitive skin stretch. It was good, with a small sting.

“Easy,” he breathed when Sirius moved under him. Sirius paused and gripped, what Remus assumed was, the chain of his nipple clamps. He tugged reminding Remus of their existence. He gave a low groan. It took him a moment since he couldn’t brace himself with his hands but he found a way to move on his knees to ride Sirius.

It felt f*cking amazing to be with Sirius again. He had missed this so much. His legs shook even as he tried to keep going. No matter how much better he felt, he was still just out of the hospital. Sirius gripped his hips, stopping him, and instead started f*cking up into him. The pace was harsh, fast, and perfect. “Remus, open your eyes,” Sirius' voice was like a dark whiskey, scratchy and rough, and f*cking fantastic.

“Trick?” Remus asked knowing his eyes would fall on Sirius' face. A hand cupped his cheek, smoothing away an old tear.

“Me throwing out an old rule. I want to see your eyes, I want you to see mine,” Sirius assured him. Remus opened his eyes and they immediately locked with those quicksilver eyes as pleasure licked up his spine. Sirius' eyes were blown wide and so full of fire and desire. Remus held his gaze as he met him movement for movement.

They moved together, bodies covered in sweat and eyes locked. Remus felt the coil in his stomach tighten dangerously when the eyes moved down his body darkening further. “You can’t look at me like that, I’ll cum,” Remus protested and got an evil smirk.

“You won’t without permission,” whether or not it was a promise, a vow of faith, or a threat was unclear. Sirius' eyes set him on fire from the inside out.

“Padfoot,” Remus breathed and leaned down. Sirius grunted as Remus’s weight landed on him. They kissed sloppy and wet until Sirius buried his hand in Remus’ sandy hair and tugged him back to sit up. Remus didn’t fight as his co*ck twitched.

“Please, wanna cum for you,” Remus breathed. Sirius shook his head with a sad*stic smirk. Ffyc why was that so bloody hot and arousing? Remus whined, his nails digging into his palms. “So close, please.” He was going to lose it and have to take another punishment. Sirius shook his head again and did something that derailed Remus.

He reached up and unclamped one of the nipple clamps. A sharp pain bolted through him and Remus cried out. The cry cut off sharply as Sirius' fingers descended on the painful nub rubbing it. It hurt worse and he whined, but figured out Sirius was easing the pain even as he caused more. The pins and needles subsided, leaving a vague throb.

The second one was freed similarly and the string was dropped next to Remus. “Pearls?” he asked, sidetracked.

“Nicked from my mother’s jewels. The famous Black family pearls, the most expensive set of nipple clamps ever. She would die if she knew what had become of them,” Sirius answered. Remus gaped and Sirius wiggled his eyebrows.

Remus was tumbled on his back and driven into. “Think about it later. Think about this now,” Sirius growled. The thrusts were deep, rough, and animalistic. Remus couldn’t do anything but take it. Every thrust was fantastic and shortly he was hanging on by a thread.

“Wanna be good. Please Padfoot let me be good and cum for you,” Remus forced out.

“f*ck Remus,” Sirius grunted. “Cum for me,” as soon as the words were out of his mouth, teeth sank into Remus’ shoulder. He would feel that bruise for weeks, it was delightful. He arched and came untouched between them. His whole world narrowed to that point of pleasure and he was sure he would die for it.

He heard Sirius take his release and collapse. It took another moment for him to realize the dizziness was not the org*sm. He shoved against Sirius as much as he was able and the pressure eased when he shifted. “Inhaler,” Remus managed and Sirius was off him in a flash. The plastic was pressed between his lips and Sirius' squeeze was timed perfectly. Remus turned away after the second one. “You literally take my breath away, jerk.”

Sirius' answering chuckle was lovely. Sirius undid the key around Remus’ neck and unlocked him. Remus felt loose as he was released. “That was good,” Remus informed him, picking up the clamps and examining them. Sirius tucked the cuffs and collar away and picked up the gag. “This is real?” he asked, examining the pearls.

Sirius nodded and picked up the pillows before flipping on a light. He settled his back against the pillows and pulled Remus into his chest. They looked fake because of the black colour, Remus only recognized them because Lily had a ring with a black pearl set into it. “I was angry when I left but I managed to sneak back in about a month later to get my guitar, my leather jacket and in a fit of utter stupidity, I stole the Black family pearls. Should give them to you, they were designated for my wife.”

Remus slanted his eyes up at Sirius. “You have to ask me first,” Remus informed him and grey eyes slid to his.

“Oh, I plan to.”

--

Remus looked up from his examination of the shiny tablet Sirius insisted on him having for his news in the morning as the elevator dinged. He glanced up to make sure Sirius was decent. “Eyes closed,” he ordered and heard the people disembarking stop.

“Of course they’re naked,” Lily complained. Remus made his way upstairs and pulled on joggers and a t-shirt.

“Siri, people are here,” Remus roused, adjusting the sheet so his perfect ass was covered. He left Sirius to wake up and made his way back to the kitchen. Barty and Regulus had followed in Lily and James. “What do we owe the unannounced pleasure?” Remus asked as they all unwrapped from their early winter clothes. He saw Barty’s smirk at the word he chose to focus on.

Despite the intrusion, Remus collected mugs for them. “Of course you weren’t informed,” Regulus huffed and Barty soothed him with a hand on his shoulder. Brightly colored bags were placed on the counter.

“Don’t tell me this is the welcome back party. I swear I will murder all of you if I had to put on clothes for this,” Remus grumbled.

“It’s not, that’s next week. It’s my birthday,” Sirius was matter of fact as he stepped down the stairs in black joggers and a jumper Remus was sure was his. Sirius simply pushed the sleeves up to his elbows.

*~*

Chapter 39: Tree of Life

Chapter Text

“It’s your birthday,” Remus asked and got a nod as Sirius poured himself a mug of coffee. “Why didn’t anyone tell me?” James glared at Sirius but Regulus’ eyes were focused on Remus’ face. He was used to the hyperfocus now. He wondered what was on his face that drew Regulus in this time.

“I hate my birthday. Just means I am one year older and one year less cool. Besides, every year brings me closer to a dreaded grey hair or a wrinkle,” Sirius placed a hand over his heart as though he couldn’t stand the thought and turned to check his reflection in the mirrored surface of the fridge.

“You’re a rotten boyfriend,” Lily informed Sirius.

“And brother,” James continued.

“Seconded,” Regulus drug his eyes away from Remus to watch Sirius swan about like a lunatic. “Now shut up and open your presents.” Regulus shoved a bag at Sirius. Sirius sighed but pulled out the tissue paper, immediately balling it up and tossing it for Bastet. She happily chased after it, trilling the whole time.

Remus made a note to keep an eye on her so she didn’t eat the colorful paper. Sirius pulled out a glass and frowned. Regulus reached over and flipped it so the words were facing him. ‘Paint Cup only. Do not drink… or stick in the freezer.’ The last bit was added with a marker. Sirius sighed and rolled his eyes.

“Thanks, Reg,” he reached into the bag again and pulled out a bottle of very expensive whiskey. He read the label and whistled. “This will go great in whiskey and co*ke.”

“If you waste that on a teenage drink I will shove my foot so far up your pompous, inbred ass…” Regulus started. Barty reached over and covered his mouth.

“He said it to get a rise out of you,” Barty reminded. Regulus crossed his arms and then for good measure his legs. Sirius set the bottle on the counter and reached in one last time. A shiny ring rested in his palm. It was a dragon and nestled in the coils of its tail was a large red stone. Sirius immediately fell in love with it and placed it on his right middle finger.

“That’s so cool. Thank you,” this was genuine and Regulus offered a hug. Sirius gave him a gentle and brief one. Touch aversion Regulus offering a hug was a rare thing to be treated as the gift it was.

“The only description I could get out of Reg was cats, booze, and shinies,” Barty answered sheepishly. “I picked up on the art thing myself.” Sirius tossed another ball of tissue paper for Bastet. He lifted out a set of paint brushes that easily cost more than the rent and car payment Lily made in a whole year. They came with a case that also held a brand-new set of oil crayons, acrylic paints, and several charcoal tools.

“This is awesome,” Sirius gave Barty a brief hug as well.

“Mine is a bit more practical. You mentioned you were having trouble staying away from your old smoking window. I was thinking I could install cat-proof netting and then put up grass, catnip, and a space for Bastet. Keeps you out of the window and repurposes it,” Lily handed him the bag she had brought. It contained the netting, several pots of cat grass, one pot of catnip, and a soft cat bed. She gave Sirius a kind smile.

“That sounds lovely. You have to help me keep it alive,” Sirius responded, handing it back.

“I help Remus keep my adopted babies alive. I can help with yours,” Lily responded and made her way to the window. Barty went to offer his assistance. Lily immediately had him acting as an extra set of hands. James handed over his present.

Another bottle of booze, that made three. A pair of boots, (picked by Euphemia,) a new sketchpad (courtesy of Fleamont), and James had added in several pieces of jewelry including an ear cuff that Sirius immediately demanded be put on. Remus got it settled into place. It was a sterling silver piece with intricate filigree in the shell of his ear. A single angel wing hung down looking like a dangly earring. It was a lovely piece and studded with white stones, which Remus guessed were diamonds.

Sirius was demonstrative in his thanks to James and Regulus sidled up next to Remus. “I do have a car downstairs, his favorite jeweler in my back pocket, and a firm knowledge of his style,” Regulus suggested slyly. Remus glanced over at him, it took him a moment.

“Oh!” Remus said aloud. Barty glanced over but Lily immediately drew his attention back. Remus immediately quieted. Barty would pay for inattention mostly by accident. Not to mention Regulus had winced at his volume. “I mean… sure,” Remus answered.

“Get dressed,” Regulus ordered. “Barty give me the car keys.” Remus went upstairs and changed dressing warmly. “Oh hush up Sirius, I’m not taking him to the club or an orgy. You gave your partner no time to plan for your birthday so you can suffer. If Barty did this to me I would be pissed.” Remus stepped back down the stairs to see Regulus pointing a key fob at Sirius.

Lily looked bored as Barty made sure Regulus' phone had a charge. James was leaning against the wall and gave her a come hither look. She rolled her eyes at him. “At least give me a kiss before you go gallivanting off,” Sirius muttered. Remus started to make his way around the counter. Regulus leaned over and kissed his cheek.

“When did you become so needy?” Regulus took his bag from Barty and made his way to the elevator.

“He’s very literal,” Barty pointed out. Remus kissed Sirius properly and squirmed out of his grip when he tried to deepen it.

“No birthday snuggles or kisses until I find what I need. I will spray you,” Remus threatened. Sirius' eyes flickered to the sink and that was the distraction he needed. He bolted to the elevator. The doors slid shut on him and a giggling Regulus as they waved to Sirius.

“He’s such a control freak you’re going to drive him crazy,” Regulus huffed as they caught their breath from laughing.

“He loves me, he's already halfway there,” Remus pulled out his phone and sent a heart and a picture of him and Regulus. Regulus made a duck face for the picture and posed with a peace sign for the second one. “You look so lame,” Remus informed him. He got a kissy face and a paddle emoji back. Followed immediately by Sirius assuring him it was joking and just not to spend too much time out in the cold air.

Regulus drove through the snowy streets easily singing along to the radio and following the GPS. They pulled up in front of a jewelry store. As soon as they stepped out Remus heard the dreaded Christmas music. He followed Regulus into the shop. “Mr. Borgin please,” Regulus asked the lady behind the counter.

“He’s out, Mr. Burke is in,” she suggested and Regulus shook his head.

“We’re buying for Sirius Black, he’s very particular. Are you sure Mr. Borgin isn’t available?” Regulus’ voice was slightly oily now. Was this the man who could talk his way into multimillion-dollar deals? Her smile flattened slightly.

“After the piece he made for you at the last moment Mr. Borgin went on holiday with his family. He won’t be back until next week,” her tone was friendly but her smile and eyes were flat. Regulus gave her a cold smile that chilled Remus more than the cold air outside.

“Come along,” Regulus snapped. Remus stopped dead in the middle of the store and set his face. Regulus faltered after only a few steps and he came back seething. “Remus…” he hissed.

“I don’t let Sirius talk to me like that. I am not your servant or lackey,” Remus cut across whatever angry tirade Regulus had been about to make. Regulus’ face changed from anger to confusion and then his eyes flickered to the counter. His eyes closed briefly.

“I’m so sorry Remus. Barty is my filter and he reminds me not to be an asshole. The command slipped out without conscious thought and my tone was unacceptable. I apologize for any offense or upset it caused,” Regulus responded, his tone softer now. “Please come outside I can feel the walls closing in.”

Remus let go of his irritation. Well-bred, socially integrated Regulus Black didn’t know where social norms sat without Barty. That was surprising. They stepped out and Regulus immediately pulled a squish ball out of his pocket. When he squeezed it went from blue to pink. “Sirius doesn’t like jewelers other than Mr. Borgin. The oily bastard is on holiday and now you have no shiny.”

Remus bit his lip before immediately releasing it. What to do now? Alcohol was trite, and everything else Sirius already had. What could you get the man who had everything? They made their way back to the car. Regulus had entered Sirius' address when Remus remembered. The wedding box, was that where his mam’s jewelry was?

“Wait,” Remus reached over and typed in a new address. Regulus raised an eyebrow but didn’t argue. He followed the instructions. “Um… I don’t want to overwhelm my tad…” Remus felt awkward but Regulus was looking at the blue house with the mismatched shutters and smiling.

“Of course Siri wasn’t exaggerating, you did grow up in a blue house. Go, I’ll wait,” Regulus told him, waving him off. Remus felt a wave of gratitude and made his way up to the familiar weathered door. He let himself in and Poppy was already bustling in, having heard the door.

“Oh Remus,” she immediately engulfed him in a hug. “I am so glad to see you are alright. You gave Minnie and I a proper fright. Lyall is resting right now.” She pulled back and cupped his face. She kissed his cheek.

“I’m actually here to see you,” Remus responded. She looked surprised and before he could lose his nerve he recounted his fever dream. “She mentioned letters and a wedding box.”

“Of course Hope would find a way to reach out beyond the grave. Lyall gave it to me during one of his lucid days. Told me to give it to you when you asked. He was so sure you would one day just know.” Poppy led him upstairs to his mam’s old craft room, it was now mostly storage. She dug through the closet and emerged with a large file box. It was dusty.

“Letters to you and everything she wanted you to have,” Poppy opened the lid and gestured to its contents. The smell hit him, it was his mam personified. Tears stung his eyes and Poppy patted his shoulder before leaving him alone. Remus sat on the floor and picked up the stack of letters. They were tied with one of his mam’s old hair ribbons, the green long since faded.

18th birthday, 21st birthday, First Love. First heartbreak, Graduation, Engagement, Wedding Day, First Kid, Second Kid(?)Third Kid(?). All in Welsh. He chuckled wetly at the question marks after the first one. It was clear a few milestones had been missed but he knew Poppy hadn’t gone through the stack. She hadn’t realized he was supposed to get these. Depressed, Divorce (Probably won’t happen but I have to cover my bases.) Sickness. Remus flipped through the envelopes, they were yellowed with age. The last one stopped him. ‘For the man that stole my Moon Miracle’s Heart.’ In perfect English across the page. She had written one for his partner.

Remus clung to these for a long while, getting his tears under control. He stacked them neatly and retied the ribbon. He peered back into the box. Her old jewelry box greeted him. Inside was her favorite earrings, which reminded her of sparrows in flight. Remus could only see triangles. A necklace with a Tree of Life pendant on it greeted him next. The old leather cord was crunchy with age and needed to be replaced. A teardrop pink pearl necklace with matching earrings and her wedding ring and engagement ring. She hadn’t wanted to be buried in them in case Remus wanted them.

They were simple two pieces of Celtic knotwork that slid together to form one piece. He picked up the intricate ring and examined it. It would never fit on his fingers but Sirius' hand was so much smaller. He tucked the ring away and picked up the tree pendant. That would do, he slid the leather cord out of it and placed it on one of the spare chains lingering near the bottom of the box. He closed the glass lid carefully and set it aside.

Pictures in gilt frames, all memories of his childhood, greeted him. Then he got closer to the bottom. Many young photos of Hope and Lyall greeted him in dust-proof bags but no frames. He found a heated exchange between Hope and Lyall in steamy letters. It would be sweet if it wasn’t a little gross.

He tucked everything back into the box and placed the lid back on it, the pendant in his pocket. Poppy greeted him when he came down. “Find what you need hun?” she asked and Remus nodded. “Good,” she touched his cheek briefly and gave him another hug. Regulus was poking at a mobile game when Remus returned.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to take that long,” Remus apologized tucking the box in the back and buckling in in the front. Regulus took in his face and glanced back at the box.

“Parents are complicated. I know Siri wouldn’t care if Mother and Father dropped dead tomorrow but I would have some rather complicated feelings on the matter. You never have to apologize for feelings. As Barty is fond of reminding me, they make us human.”

Remus found Regulus to be a wonderful person to be around. Sure he was hyperactive and jumpy but he seemed to recognize the need for silence. He didn’t pester him with a bunch of questions. They pulled up to the sleek building he now called home, the sun had completely set. “Lily and James headed out giving Barty a ride a bit ago. Have a good night, don’t let the birthday boy bully you.” Remus collected his box and took the lift up.

Sirius looked up when he let himself in. His handsome face broke into an easygoing smile. “Sorry I didn’t tell you where I was,” Remus shrugged off his coat.

“Reg told me you went to see your tad,” Sirius answered understandingly. He frowned at the dusty box in Remus’ hands. “Hoarder?”

“Dead mam,” Remus responded and Sirius' face shifted. Remus touched his lips with a clean hand. “Hush, I was taking the piss. This is my mam’s but you don’t have to apologize. Can I get a plastic bin to transfer everything into?”

Sirius lifted the box from him and set it on the counter. He wrapped his arms around Remus and kissed him soundly. “Of course, let me go track one down,” he went over to go through the closet Remus had organized only a few days ago. Remus winced as immediately the closet was in disarray. Bastet gave him a look that read as ‘he really should have known better’. He pulled out the pendant and laid it down neatly on the counter.

“Regulus took me to see Mr. Borgin,” Remus called.

“Oh, he does good work,” Sirius commented and came back with a liberated bin and a dust bunny in his hair.

“He’s on holiday and I was told by Regulus that you’re a picky man,” Remus answered. Sirius flushed slightly and handed him the container. Remus immediately set about transferring the contents from the old water-damaged, barely holding its structure, box to the plastic container.

“Mr. Borgin has been doing my jewelry since I was sixteen. He knows what I like,” Sirius answered, returning to close the closet before coming back to the counter.

“Well, fear not, I didn’t return empty-handed. Turn around and close your eyes,” Remus told him. “Please,” he softened it and kissed the corner of Sirius' mouth. Sirius sighed but turned and closed his eyes. Remus got up and washed the dust off his hands before coming back and picking up the pendant. He draped it around Sirius' neck and shifted his lover’s dark hair out of the way. He closed the clasp and kissed the back of Sirius' neck. “I was hoping you would accept a necklace from the Hope Lupin collection.”

Sirius lifted the pendant even as he turned to face Remus. “Remus, you can’t give me this if it belonged to your mam.” Sirius reached up to undo it and Remus stopped him.

“My tad gave that to my mam when he told her he loved her. I love you so I am giving it to you. Unless you hate it I won’t take it back. I won’t ever have another person to give it to,” Remus answered, holding his hands. Sirius examined his face.

“I love you so much,” Sirius responded and leaned forward to kiss Remus. Remus slid his fingers into that dark hair.

“I love you too,” Remus murmured, leaning his forehead against Sirius' when the kiss ended. He opened his eyes and smiled when he noticed Sirius pick up the small charm and examine it. The smile that graced his face was beautiful.

“When I was little, I was enthralled with the Tree of Life in mythology and art. One could say it was my first true passion. I actually drew one in class once. I thought it was how family trees were supposed to look but mine never looked that way so I assumed I was doing it wrong. I remember my mother ridiculing me for thinking my art was worth her time when I asked for help. They never gave me anything with the symbol they knew I loved. It was always the Black Family crest,” Sirius grumbled. Remus was curious. Sirius pulled a scrap of paper toward him and sketched it out quickly. On the top was a skull with elongated leaves branching out from the center. Just below was a shield with fifteen stars surrounding a man’s arm, holding up a sword, a black chevron under that, and then three ravens sitting on the bottom. A banner wrapped around the base with the words ‘Toujours Pur’. It was very odd. “This is perfect.”

Sirius crumbled the weird crest and picked up the charm again. “Can I see the rest?” he gestured to the jewelry box.

“You are allowed to look at anything in the box except the stack of letters,” Remus allowed. He wanted time to process and go through those letters himself. He picked up the delicate box and opened it. Sirius' elegant fingers were gentle as they sorted through the necklaces and earrings, rings, bracelets, and such.

Sirius automatically paired sets together. His artistic eye much better at picking it out than Remus. “She loved these. Said they reminded her of sparrows flying. I never saw it,” Remus touched the triangles. Sirius glanced at them and tipped his head.

“I get it. Hold on,” Sirius made his way over to pick up his old sketchpad. He flipped past a few sketches of Bastet and even more of Remus which made him flush each time. On a new page, he traced the shape on paper and then the charcoal continued scribbling over the page. Remus examined a few more pieces while he waited on Sirius.

“See like this,” Sirius handed the heavy pad to Remus. In one corner were the earrings with small details added so Remus could see the birds. It made sense now and he smiled. Sirius had sketched out other pieces of jewelry. He’d added leaves to a bracelet and so his drawing better represented the tree branch it was supposed to be. Several of the necklaces were sketched and embellished. The thing that made him flush was the detailed rendering of his hands with one of the pieces sliding through his fingers. The scars and everything stood out in sharp relief. It was clearly drawn by someone in lust with those hands.

“I think the artist took some liberties,” Remus handed it back and Sirius held his gaze.

“I added to the jewelry, not the boyfriend. His hands are that amazing without help,” Sirius waited until Remus flushed again before looking down. Remus didn’t look up when Sirius sketched the jewelry. There were no complete pictures, just intriguing bits and pieces. When he reached whatever point he was looking for, he signed his name on the bottom. It was a lovely sketch.

“Happy birthday Sirius,” Remus told him when he closed the pad and wrapped his arms around him.

“Thank you. I love my presents,” Sirius answered, glancing over at the window Bastet was sleeping in. The kitty garden looked lovely. The window was closed to help fight against the chill but it would be lovely in the summer with the netting to keep Bastet in. “I love you.”

“ I love you,” Remus never wanted to stop saying those three wonderful words.

*~*

Chapter 40: Letters

Chapter Text

My Moony,

Today is your eighteenth birthday and if you are reading this letter it means I am not around to see it. Regardless I am proud of the man you have become. There are so many amazing milestones in your life that are still to come. Now you can get married, vote, buy cigarettes, and join the military (hopefully not all on the same day.) Life doesn’t start at eighteen but it opens up wide and invites you to explore all the possibilities.

I think back to my sweet little boy who I told not to talk to strangers and hold my hand while crossing the street. Unfortunately, those warnings no longer apply. You will have to talk to strangers (sorry, I know your introverted self just cringed.) The challenges you will face are more extreme than crossing the street but I hope your Tad and I have prepared you for all that you will face in this life.

I wish I could change some of the harsh realities you have already faced. I wish we didn’t live in a world where the worst tragedies strike the most innocent children. I can’t change the past and I can’t protect you from all the horrible things, as much as I wish I could.

You are your father’s son. He is the epitome of kindness and hope. All smiles and generosity spread like wildfire. Don’t be afraid to show your kindness and hope, the world could always use a little more. You will have to be brave and courageous but remember it is ok to be afraid and to cry sometimes. That does not diminish your worth or bravery.

I was never very good at writing profound things like I feel like this letter should be. Ask your Tad about our wedding vows sometime. That was a great time to be a flaky writer. His were deep and loving and then there I was, making jokes and being a general nuisance. I will give you the advice my parents gave me when I turned eighteen. Take your eyes of childlike wonder with you, all the way to old age; that way you’ll appreciate life to the fullest. May the adventures of your youth never end. Happy Birthday, Remus.

All My Love,

Mam

Remus knew he would have to go through the letters, especially the ones for the milestones already passed but he hadn’t thought it would be so difficult. The smell of Hope’s perfume had permeated that box and as a result the paper of the letters. Not to mention he was so familiar with the way she wrote. The shape of her letters on that page made everything so real. The advice offered and the way his name shone on that page. It was real, she had been thinking about him being an adult.

He could practically see it. Her sitting there knowing she was sick and likely to not be around for these milestones. The crinkle of her brow as she tried to think of what advice to offer him at the different points in his life. He idly stroked a hand over Bastet when she hopped up next to him with a little chirp. He glanced down at her properly. She was wearing a bright green and blue striped sweater. “Your dad needs to be stopped, even I know that sweater is an affront,” Remus informed her and scratched under her chin.

It seemed Sirius was finally willing to accept Remus was better. He had headed for the studio this morning. Remus was returning to the cafe the next day. Remus ran his hands over Bastet again and carefully folded the old yellow letter. He would ask Sirius if there was a way to preserve ink on old papers, some of the folds were already threatening to erase his Mam’s beautiful handwriting. He never wanted to lose his mam’s words, the advice she had thought he might need at different points in his life.

He sipped the tea he had made and frowned. It had gone cold. Of course it had. He rose and in an action that would have gotten him scolded by Sirius about the texture and Lily ‘What kind of monster microwaves tea/coffee?’ he popped it into the microwave and hit one of the buttons. As he waited for the tea to warm back up he watched Bastet attack the grass Lily had so lovingly planted. His eyes fell to the stack of letters.

He had seen Sirius eye them curiously but not ask. His mind flitted back to the final letter in that stack. The one she had written with the idea that one day Remus would love somebody. Would she have liked Sirius? Would she have chosen someone like him for Remus? He knew his Tad liked Sirius but Hope was so different from Lyall. Would she have been able to see the amazing soul that Sirius worked so hard to keep hidden? Or would she just assume like everyone else that with the hair, the leather jacket, and the motorcycle that he was going to break Remus’ heart?

The beep from the microwave drew his attention back to the present. He collected his tea and sipped on it. Now it burned his tongue, perfect. He made his way back over to the letters and picked them up. He ran his fingers over the stationary she had used. It was heavy and yellow with purple flowers printed along the edges. She had written them using the blue fountain pen Lyall had gifted her, Remus would know that perfect azure anywhere.

The one for his partner, his love, was the same as all the rest, two pieces of paper, folded neatly into the envelope and sealed carefully. He set it back on the table and picked up the one she had written in anticipation of his 21st birthday.

He shook it open.

Moon Beam,

21 years. What have you made of them I wonder? I can only look at the teen you are now with hope and prayers that you will go out into the world and succeed. I know you will do so in a way that is uniquely you. I have a list of things I would want to tell you on this day, much like my Mam and Tad did for me and their parents before that. Since I can’t say them to you in person I will write them down for you.

21 Things I want you to always remember

1. Stay true to yourself. Don’t be a people pleaser (I might be too late with this one. It seems, my sweet boy, you inherited my nature on this one.) Don’t be someone for anyone else. Do what you want to do because it’s what you want and not satisfy someone else’s version of successful, handsome, or brave. The unique soul that is you, deserves to shine.
2. Never stop learning. I know I have nothing to fear on this front. You always have a book in front of your face. I know your education won’t end the day you step out of school. Always try to learn something new every day. Keep wondering, stretching, and discovering. This world is full of interesting facts and wonderful stories.
3. Don’t compare. Your life is your life. Your struggles and hardships will be unique. Your successes and happiness’s equally so. Your life and you are perfect just as you are. Don’t compare that to anyone else.
4. Know what you believe in and why you believe it. Don’t blindly follow others. Just because someone you care about; family, friends, and lovers believes something doesn’t mean you have to, my sweet boy. You have a wonderful capacity to learn and love. You can take advice from others or even allow outside counsel but you know in your heart what is right. Stand up for that… but be aware you can also change your mind.
5. Take time for you. This will be so very hard to do when you have kids of your own, a job that demands your time and skills, a husband that needs to know he matters to you, a house to clean, laundry piled high... but it’s so very important that you take time to nurture your soul, rest your mind and body, find quiet to settle you.
6. Never give up on your dreams. Every day find something to do towards your dream. Even the small things add up over time. When I first married your Tad we would drop spare coins into a little jar and when it was filled we would go on a date. Even if you drop spare coins in a jar to go toward school, a new book, or a fun night out with friends always work for something you want.
7. What you give away, you get to keep. Give and give and give again to others... be generous with your heart, your time, your money, your energy. It will return to you in ways you never imagined. The measure of your worth is not in what you receive, but in what you give to others.
8. When you say you will do something, keep your word. Make your word true by doing what you said you would do... in the little things, in the big things. Easy to do, but oh so easy not to do.
9. Learn to listen. When someone is talking, give them full attention from your heart and your ears... without formulating your response in your head while they are speaking. Sometimes, all they need is someone to listen.
10. Do what you love. Don’t spend your life trying to “make it work” if you don’t enjoy what you are doing. Don’t wait until you are dying to begin living. Figure out what makes your heart burst with delight and go do that.
11. Travel. I know you prefer the safety of books, as do I, but there are so many beautiful things to see and do in this world. Travel as far as you can for as long as you can. That way when you are old and gray and surrounded by grandkids you will have the best stories.
12. Always see the light in others... never judge. Everyone has a story, a reason for the way they are. You don’t always know what they have been through. Love, don’t judge.
13. Do something that scares you... step through your fear and you’ll experience the exhilaration of conquering it.
14. Always give a firm handshake. It shows the world that they are to take you seriously. Your Tad shook my Tad’s hand so hard that when Lyall turned back to me I saw my Tad shake his hand and mouth ‘impressive’ at me. Don’t break fingers but let them know you are a force in this world.
15. Look people in the eye when you speak to them. When placing an order at a restaurant, when passing someone on the street, when checking out at the grocery store, when sharing a co*ke with a friend... look them in the eye.
16. Forgive. Don’t carry a grudge or resentment around with you... it will become a heavy burden that will weigh you down until you can’t move or function. Let it go.
17. Accept failures as lessons, not as the end of the story. Learn from the bad as well as the good. You will fall down, you will make a mess of things, you will make mistakes, but it’s all part of your journey. Trying and failing and learning they’re the key to your success.
18. No one, and I mean no one, can make you happy but you. Happiness doesn’t come from the outside... it comes from within and you are the only means to being happy. It’s your choice.
19. Avoid negative energy... it will drain the life right out of you. Excuse yourself from negative conversations, end relationships with people who exhaust you with their constant tirades of everything that is wrong, and don’t listen to all the negative news. Negative energy is contagious — you don’t want to catch it.
20. Read ten pages a day of a book that inspires, motivates, and challenges you to be a better person. I know you already do this but keep it up. In an age where technology becomes more and more prevalent, I see many adults forgetting or denying themselves the simple pleasure of reading. Read and keep reading my love.
21. Be here now. Don’t live in the past, it is gone and there is nothing you can do to change whatever happened. Don’t worry about tomorrow, for it isn’t here yet — worrying won’t change a thing, except to make you feel worse and worse. You only have right here, right now — so embrace and enjoy each moment.

There it is. All the love and advice I can offer you as you live your life. I hope the things you experience and the things you learn will lead to you sitting down with your children on their 21st birthday and passing down your own list. We can’t break with such a lovely tradition.

And my final piece of advice and a bonus to you; when you have a bad day chocolate cake and chips solve everything.

Love always,

Mam

Remus swallowed. Solid advice for life was contained in that letter and he cherished every word. It was a pale comparison to what everyone else had. Everyone else got their parents, one or two people they could reach out to, even as adults, to gain advice and assistance. Remus didn’t have any of that. His Tad lived in his own head and his Mam was gone to a place where Remus couldn’t reach her. These letters were all he had of her. This was her last advice to her son.

He reached over to the table where he had placed a few pictures of her. One was of her sitting with another little girl in the grass when she was small. She had grass in her hair, he could just see the run in her tights and the grass stains on the fabric. Her eyes were a bright green that was almost the same as the tall grass. She was smiling wide, with one of her front teeth missing. She had a bright red popsicle stain around her mouth.

He’d also pulled out an old wedding photo. Hope looked beautiful, white flowers braided into her hair, and a radiant smile that lit up the whole area on her face. Lyall looked like a man who couldn’t believe he had gotten so lucky, the look on his face was one of wonder and excitement. The last one was one taken in the hospital by a helpful family member, Hope and Lyall were bent over a small bundle, him, wrapped in blankets, tiny with a squishy face.

When the elevator dinged Remus glanced up as Sirius came in. “I like this scene,” Sirius informed him, petting Bastet. “My kitty greeting me at the door and my boyfriend looking over the back of the couch like a nerdy meerkat.” He came over to Remus and tipped his head so they could kiss. It was soft and sweet and lingering.

Sirius' eyes moved over the stack of letters and the picture in Remus’ hand. “Based on context, I think that baby is you but there’s a problem,” Remus hummed to indicate he was listening. “You’re much cuter. Do you want to do takeaway for dinner?”

“I would but James has been ordered by Effie to drop off groceries for us so I have to cook tonight. I have been ordered by Effie to make sure you help me,” Remus had received a text from Euphemia earlier that she was sending James by with groceries so he needed to tell James what they needed. She also wanted to see the dinner they made tonight and she fully expected Sirius to help.

Remus hadn’t had the energy or heart to tell her that Sirius helping was almost more of a hindrance. Sirius gave a huff as he undid the buttons on the cuffs of his shirt. He dressed a bit nicer for the studio than he did at home and it was clear he was irritated with the shirt he was wearing. “I am a grown-arsed man, if I don’t want to cook I shouldn’t have to,” Sirius grumbled making his way up the stairs to change.

“You being a grown-arsed man and not knowing how to cook is not the flex you think it is,” Remus informed him as he turned back to the perusal of the pictures. Sirius muttered something that did not sound nice. He emerged moments later in gray joggers and a loose t-shirt.

“Do you have a frame I can use?” Remus asked. Sirius held his hand out for the photo. Remus handed it over and watched as Sirius picked up a discarded tape measure. It was one of the soft ones and was covered in various colors of paint, some dried clay and it was clear Bastet had used it to play with, her teeth and claw marks were easily visible.

Sirius measured the photograph and handed it back to Remus. Remus smoothed the dust-proof plastic over the figures in the picture. Sirius returned with a gilt silver frame. He undid the clamps holding the back in place and lifted it out. He pulled out the photograph already there. Remus handed over the picture again.

Sirius handled the photo gently by the edges, careful not to leave fingerprints. Remus picked up the photograph Sirius was replacing. It was Sirius, it took a moment for Remus to recognize him. He was so young, his hair was cut short and he was dressed in a suit much like the cold man standing behind him. He had Sirius' face but none of the kindness shown from those eyes. Next to the man was a woman. Her expression was just as cold, she was sitting in a chair with a small baby balanced in her lap.

She had Regulus’ blue eyes but once again they were lacking. Regulus had depth to his eyes, eyes that saw through all the bullsh*t and lies. Her eyes were not like that. Her black hair was pulled back tightly from her face and perfectly coiffed. They looked so cold and Sirius looked so young and already so sad. It hurt Remus’ heart to see they were already working on breaking that sweet boy. Sirius put the frame back together and set it on the table.

“Mother and Father and the first family photo with Regulus. I remember that day. Father had just finished beating the back of my legs with his belt because I didn’t want to keep standing still. I wanted to go play. Mother made me change into trousers because the shorts I was wearing showed the red marks. Then I had to change into a suit because I was wearing trousers anyway. When I said I didn’t want to wear a suit they added more red marks. I was told if I cried during the photo, I would be sent to stay with Grandpa. He scared me more so I held back my tears as the man behind the camera snapped away.” Sirius’ voice was hollow.

Remus hated that story. He hated knowing Sirius had been abused as a child. More so that they had hit him for the normal kid response to having to stand still in nice clothes for any length of time. He leaned his forehead against Sirius' shoulder. “I have a few school photos but I can’t remember it being a big deal if they weren’t perfect. One year I got up and put on my outfit then went downstairs. Mam had made her famous boysenberry pancakes. My hands were purple, my face was purple, my once white shirt was purple and my khaki trousers were stained purple. You can still see the purple stains on my face in that picture.”

Sirius curled an arm over him and Remus settled more comfortably in his hold. “Would you want that? Kids and all?” Sirius clarified. Remus looked over the lonely photo again and swallowed as his eyes moved to the photo of him being held by his parents.

Lyall’s hair was wild in the picture. He had kept running his fingers through it and offering Hope tea. Apparently, tea was not wanted during labor. Hope looked tired but her green eyes were so alive and hopeful. Her brown curls still stuck to her forehead from the sweat of delivering him. The picture was warm and hopeful.

“My Mam always told me that I made her and Tad a true family…” Remus started and leaned forward to set the other photograph down. He took a deep breath.

“There’s a huge caveat in that statement,” Sirius filled in and Remus looked down at his hands.

“There’s no way to sugarcoat it. My life expectancy and quality are not the same as yours or Lily’s. Most of my health problems are genetic and even if they weren’t, subjecting a kid to a sick parent… I don’t know that I could do that,” Remus sighed. “I will never blame my parents for their illnesses but I wouldn’t wish that… or me, on a kid.”

Remus knew his life was never going to be easy. With a sh*tty immune system and several neuro spicy levels on top of that, he was never guaranteed easy. He was only guaranteed not to have to deal with it as long as other people. He had known that as his diagnoses stacked over the years. He hadn’t needed the doctor to tell him. Having a child was absolutely out of the question for him. He would never inflict his conditions on anyone else, he knew Hope had felt guilty about how much of her, he had inherited. He also wasn’t going to let his conditions take away attention from a kid. He had spent his youth and adulthood mostly on his own. He could avoid doing that to someone else.

*~*

Chapter 41: Taco Soup

Chapter Text

There was an ugly, billowing silence that greeted Remus’ words. His fingers toyed with the chain of the ever-present necklace. Warm fingers found their way under his chin and tipped his head up. “You’re stupid,” Sirius informed him and Remus’ mouth dropped open in shock. “Completely daft.”

Remus felt the shock was wearing off as Sirius got this smug little smirk on his face. Anger was moving in, maybe Lily had the right idea. James and Sirius clearly hadn’t been punched enough. “I realized it when I got you to talk to me and you thought I was taking the piss by flirting. You don’t realize how… amazing you are. How worth it you are,” Sirius' voice had softened and a lovely thumb traced over Remus’ cheekbone. Confusion chased the anger away.

“You’re the first person I’ve ever nursed through an illness even if it was just taking you to the hospital. I didn’t sit overnight when James was sick in high school. I had a few sleepless nights when Da went in a few years ago for a heart murmur but James and I both blew off tension by going out and getting completely sh*t-faced. You though had me properly scared. Eating, sleeping, and even functioning wasn’t an option. And I would do it again in a heartbeat because you are worth it. And any kid would be lucky to have you as a dad,” Sirius' grey eyes could make Remus believe the sky was orange and the grass was purple.

“You’re the daft one falling for a basket case like me,” Remus returned, his temper deflating and his hand coming to rest on Sirius'.

“Honey, this case was in the basket long before you brought along the biscuits, let’s just enjoy our trip to hell,” Sirius' forehead came to rest on his. Remus leaned into that wonderful warmth and confidence that was Sirius.

“You are aware you have to answer the same question right?” Remus inquired and Sirius sighed, Remus grinned at the sound. Sirius usually forgot when he got all introspective he left himself open to all sorts of rebuttals.

“I don’t think I ever considered kids. I can barely keep myself alive, not to mention usually to make one of those you have to go find a bird and have sex, more than once… No thank you,” Sirius made a face and Remus blinked at him.

“I am going to assume you’re deflecting by making a gay joke and remind you that adoption and surrogacy exist,” Remus pointed out.

“Yeah and I am an unmedicated mess who needs his unofficial adopted brother to shop for him because the store is confusing and causes anxiety attacks,” Sirius muttered as his hand slipped off of Remus’ cheek, it felt cold. Grey eyes dropped to their laps. “No one in their right mind would give this basket case a kid.”

Remus reached up and set his own hand on Sirius' cheek. The warm stubble under his fingers was comforting. “Now who’s the daft one?” Remus asked. “If I’m not allowed to underestimate my worth neither are you. The adulting skills you haven’t mastered don’t mean anything. You take good care of Bastet, which you know people say is children light. I think it’s baby on hard mode but what would I know? I’m stupid.” Sirius opened his eyes and was clearly fighting a smile now. “Any kid would be lucky to have you, basket and all.”

Remus knew they likely would have stayed like this longer if not for the ding of the elevator. Sirius fled in the face of James. It was clear he didn’t want to explain his emotional state to the other. James could read Sirius as easily as Regulus could read Remus. “Thought we would come by for a proper meal before you come back to work,” Lily popped up behind James. “I brought dessert.”

“And I brought actual groceries,” James set his bags on the counter. Lily moved to the fridge sticking ice cream in the freezer, which was currently devoid of all frozen paint cups or cold coffee.

Remus stood up and made his way over to the counter. He glanced in the bags James had brought. “You’re a doll,” Remus complimented and picked up the bag he needed. “Put the rest of it away.” He tried to do the careless hand wave that Sirius often did but it felt awkward and uncoordinated.

“Sirius is clearly a bad influence, he used to have manners. You told me he was housebroken,” Lily complained to James.

“I would never claim Sirius as housebroken. Kid is always two steps away from feral but he’s pretty and he knows it,” James answered. “So he’s going to demand the royal treatment while also saying the most crass things I have ever had the misfortune of hearing.” James did pick up the other bag and made his way to the fridge. Remus shifted the garbage can over as James picked up a takeaway box and sniffed it. The revolted expression had Remus biting back a grin, James really should know better.

Remus unloaded the groceries for dinner while James poked through the fridge removing all the gross food. Sirius returned several moments later. “You ok?” James asked as Remus handed back the reusable shopping bag. Sirius nodded.

“Don’t sit down, tie back your hair and wash your hands,” Remus told him. Sirius huffed but did as he was told. Lily snigg*red. James snapped a picture of Sirius moving to stand beside Remus who had already collected a knife and cutting board.

“Arming me with a knife, you are very brave,” Sirius informed him. Remus opened a drawer a few feet away and pulled out a tool.

“I am not arming you with a knife. I am arming you with a can opener. Open these and pour them into the mesh strainer I have already set in the sink. Rinse them out and then open the rest of the cans,” Remus nodded toward the several cans on the counter. Since moving in with Sirius, he had been using the fresh ingredients but he had only ever made this for himself and Lily on shoestring budgets, he wouldn’t know where to start with fresh ingredients. Beans had to soak overnight if he remembered correctly.

Sirius sighed. “It’s like you don’t trust me,” he pouted, picking up the can and the can opener.

“I trust you with my life, just not my fingers,” Remus answered serenely, chopping the yellow onion and moving Bastet when she came over to sniff. Her eyes immediately started watering. “Silly beast,” he said affectionately and washed his hands again.

He glanced back at the counter to find Sirius struggling with the can opener and the can. Lily was watching, not offering any assistance. James was examining the can opener and the can. “What is this?”

“A can opener,” Sirius responded obliviously.

“How many posh men does it take to open a can of pinto beans,” Lily muttered under her breath, liberating a cork from a wine bottle. Remus bit back a grin and moved over to the two men.

“Shoo,” Remus shooed James over to the other side of the counter. “You have to stop helping him. He will never learn to be a functional adult if you do everything for him.” Sirius glared at Remus for that comment. Remus took the can opener and examined it.

“Of course you would have an expensive can opener that is more complicated to use. It’s a reverse can opener so you don’t end up with sharp edges,” Remus informed him. He had only seen this kind of can opener once or twice. Usually, it was part of some sort of display set up in the more bougie culinary shops. Always some smarmy git displaying them.

Last guy that had tried to sell it to Remus was really strange. He had smiled so wide that all of his very straight very white teeth had glittered in the sun. His blonde wavy hair hadn’t so much as shifted in the breeze. Claimed his name was Gilderoy Lockhart and had forced Remus to take his business card. The day he spent fifty quid on a can opener would be the day hell froze over. Lily and Remus had discussed the fact that Lockhart was Rumpelstiltskin for hours afterward.

He clipped it over the edge and handed it back to Sirius. “Be careful,” he urged.

“You just said it wouldn’t be sharp,” Sirius pointed out. Remus kissed his cheek.

“I am nearly positive you could cut yourself on a wet paper bag,” Remus informed him and returned to slicing his vegetables. Sirius looked like he was trying to work out if he was offended or not. Once Sirius got the hang of the can opener Remus was adding things to the pot.

“What are you subbing out for beef?” Lily asked curiously recognizing the amalgamation of ingredients on the counter.

“Veggie stock instead of beef stock and meat substitute instead of beef,” Remus responded, automatically picking up the package. It had been dyed and processed to look like ground beef. It was too pink, squishy, and sticky but at least the texture would be similar.

Sirius was very helpful especially when Remus had a dizzy spell and sat down. He took instructions very well and James took several pictures of Sirius cooking on his own without Remus hovering. It was a bit nerve-wracking to watch his flighty boyfriend handle the food on his own but it also made Remus warm. He had the belief anyone could cook given time and patience, not to mention their own interest in it.

Remus declined wine but took a soda when offered. He stood up toward the end of the whole thing and made his way over. He placed a hand on Sirius' shoulder so the other man knew he was there. “Smells right and looks right,” Remus offered and got a small smile from Sirius.

“I still fail to see how this is better than takeaway,” Sirius grumbled and Remus bumped his hip lightly.

“Better for you. More meals at a cheaper cost,” Remus offered.

“Joy of making something at home,” Lily pointed out. “Cooking is a magic all its own.”

“Bonding with someone while making something yummy,” James continued and shared a fond smile with Lily. Sirius rolled his eyes but wrapped an arm around Remus’ shoulder. Remus felt a small shiver run up his spine as those fingers brushed the silver chain hanging around his neck.

Remus tasted the dish and placed a lid over it. “Now we leave it alone for half an hour.”

“And this is why I don’t cook. I would definitely forget about it,” Sirius responded.

“Not this, it will smell so good,” Lily argued.

“Lily, this is the same man who forgot the ice cream he was holding in his hand,” James pointed out.

“Can I see your phone?” Remus asked Sirius. Sirius immediately pulled out the device, unlocked it, and handed it to Remus. Remus clicked on the screen and opened the timer. He even named the timer and handed it back to Sirius. “You should use the tech to help bully your brain into cooperating.”

Remus was ordered to sit back down as dinner cooked. They discussed his return to work and how Lily could best support him since he did still get dizzy. Aberforth was coming in for a few days in case it proved too much for Remus.

Dinner was warm and filling which was a lovely counterpoint to the chilly day. Lily and James left early since Remus had to work the next morning. Remus stood under the warm spray of the shower enjoying the water pressure against his shoulders when warm arms slid around him.

“You should have taken a bath, don’t want you worn out for your shift tomorrow,” Sirius' voice was soft against his ear.

“I can see the merit of that idea but I actually don’t like baths. I feel like I’m not really getting clean, because I am sitting in the water that has all the sweat, dirt, and dead skin cells. I like taco soup, Remus soup just seems ick,” Remus answered, leaning against Sirius and enjoying the gentle kisses across his shoulders.

“See, now I am thinking ‘ick’ as well, even though I like how you taste,” Sirius responded, reaching up to run his hands through Remus’ hair. Remus let Sirius trace over his scalp and even apply the shampoo.

“And hence why I don’t take baths very often,” Remus tipped his head back to wash the soap out of his hair. He returned the favor and lathered up Sirius' dark hair. Conditioner and washing their bodies gave Sirius an excuse to grope but eventually, they cut the water and fell into bed.

“Oo, no clothes. I like it,” Sirius mumbled when he found Remus through the sea of blankets.

“Finally feel well enough that I’m not going to freeze to death in the middle of the night,” Remus answered curling up with Sirius. He brushed back that dark hair tucking it behind Sirius' ear. Remus smiled as Sirius' hands briefly skimmed over his bottom before settling on his hips. “I love you.”

“Love you,” Sirius responded happily. He bumped his nose against Remus’ gently before pulling him closer to kiss properly. Remus sank into his hold easily. Their lips molded together in a way that was familiar and lovely. Their tongues tangled both tasting of toothpaste. Sirius' hands were soft as they slid up Remus’ sides to cup his face. Remus wrapped his arms around Sirius' neck.

The kiss reached a natural stopping point and neither man pursued it further. Remus was most of the way asleep when the little chirp alerted them to the alien a moment before she launched herself into the bed. She curled up on their pillows next to Remus’ face.

--

Remus sighed as Sirius handed him a helmet. “I did just recover from the brink of death,” Remus mentioned as they rode the elevator down.

“She’s been sitting in the garage for too long,” Sirius informed him. Remus wrinkled his nose. He swore the relationship Sirius had with his motorcycle was unnatural.

“It’s November, it’s cold,” Remus tried again. Sirius looked him over with the jumper, a light jacket and the leather jacket piled on with gloves and sturdy boots on his feet.

“You’ll be fine,” Sirius murmured with a small smirk curving his mouth. “She pines for her daddy when I’m away too long.” Remus gave him a look long enough that Sirius fidgeted with the edge of his jacket.

“Don’t ever call yourself daddy again, it was deeply disturbing,” Remus figured he likely wouldn’t be able to convince Sirius to take him in the car.

“I don’t do very many subversive things anymore,” Sirius mentioned as they reached the bottom floor and stepped into the lobby. “I don’t smoke, I don’t do drugs, I barely drink. How am I supposed to keep my bad boy persona if I don’t do something rebellious and a bit dangerous?”

“You’re twenty-six. We should be acting like responsible young people who have reached their quarter-life. We’re not Spring Chickens anymore we’re Summer hens,” Remus pointed out following Sirius to the covered parking garage. The look that Sirius got on his face told Remus something inappropriate was about to leave his mouth.

“Does that mean when I turn fifty I get to call myself a Fall co*ck,” Sirius cackled, going over to the bike and pulling on his own helmet.

“Yeah you and all your silver hairs,” Remus pointed out, climbing on behind the other man.

“You take that back,” Sirius demanded as Remus made sure his legs were clear of the tailpipe and pulled his own helmet over his head.

“Shan’t,” Remus replied as he adjusted in the seat and made sure his bag was secure before wrapping his arms around Sirius. The familiar rumble of the bike and the warmth of Sirius was relaxing. He would never admit it but he liked the bike.

The ride to the cafe was quiet. Remus climbed off the bike and stumbled slightly. Sirius caught his arm. “You gonna be ok?” Sirius asked, tugging off Remus’ helmet and smoothing his hair. Lily was standing by the door.

“I’ll be fine Sirius. You have to let me pull back and get into a normal rhythm. I have to leave that flat and do something else productive before I go absolutely spare,” Remus responded, allowing Sirius to toy with his hair. Those expressive grey eyes were worried.

“Just be careful and take breaks when you need them,” Sirius implored. Remus nodded that he would and leaned in for a kiss. He always liked the way Sirius kissed. He sank into the touch and allowed his lips to part when Sirius swept his tongue over them.

Remus broke the kiss first. “Come on, you need to get to the studio and Lily is likely frozen. Off you pop, I’ll see you this afternoon,” Remus shoved him back toward the bike. Sirius went off but he glanced back at Remus like a kicked puppy. Remus rolled his eyes and made his way across to the cafe.

“Took you bloody long enough. How are you two not sick of each other yet?” Lily asked, blowing in her hands as Remus unlocked the back door.

“It’s hard to be sick of someone when you love them,” Remus answered. Lily gave a fond, if not exasperated sigh as Remus let her into the building. She didn’t let him help much with the opening duties. He was allowed to sit at the counter and wipe down syrup containers and stock sugar caddies. She joined him when they got close to opening.

“So is he end game for you?” Lily asked as she sorted through the white packets making sure each little caddy had at least six and none were broken. Remus focused on the Splenda for the moment. It felt so foreign after all the time off but so familiar too.

“I’m planning on it. It’s absolutely insane because we haven’t known each other for that long but I think… I know that I want him… Forever. Or at least as long as we have left on the planet,” Remus replied. He glanced up to see Lily examining his face. Her face scrunched and she looked down. One of the sugar packets had a smear of strawberry jam on it and now her hand had a sticky spot.

“So are you going to do it?” she asked, returning from washing her hands and picking up the tray full of sugar.

“I checked last night. Turns out my Tad and I have the same taste in rings,” Remus pulled the velvet box out of his pocket. He had brought it with him because he knew Sirius was a snoop and likely to find it. Last night when he had been awake, anxious about work, he’d spent twenty minutes playing with Sirius' fingers and testing the ring size. No adjustments needed.

“I think Hope’s ring will look lovely on Sirius' finger. Just make sure you propose in a place where you can both meltdown afterward,” Lily responded, setting a caddy on each table. Remus replaced the ring in his inside pocket and made sure it wasn’t going anywhere as he did a last wipe down of the counter. Lily flipped the sign to open and unlocked the doors.

*~*

Chapter 42: The Umbridge aka Polyjuice Potion

Chapter Text

Remus was finishing up an inventory sheet Aberforth had placed in front of him. As such he didn’t glance up when the bell went off. “Welcome to Dead and Roasted. How can I help you today?” His customer service voice was on point and he glanced up as soon as he reached the end of the ledger line.

In front of him was the pink monstrosity from the restaurant. She clearly recognized him too. “Still haven’t learned, I see. Can’t believe you thought whatever you are reading down there is more important than customer service,” she sniffed. Remus hated everything about this woman. The childish pink bow in her hair, the wide placid face, the sweet obviously fake girly voice, the way her eyes blinked slowly, and the neat little pencil skirt and blouse she wore. She looked like she had stepped out of a Pepto bismol bottle.

“So sorry ma’am I was just getting to the end of a ledger line on an inventory sheet. I would hate to make a tiny error. Can I prepare you something fresh today?” He kept a tight smile pinned on his face. He could see Lily keeping a tight rein on her temper too. They all hated Karens. It was clear she had recognized the pink woman who walked into his life. Here though she had no power. Aberforth would go out of business before firing either Remus or Lily.

Her eyes flickered between Remus and Lily. Remus could see her mentally coming up with a complicated order. He immediately picked up the pen and a pad of paper in case she went faster than the computer.

“Two third caff triple ristretto affogato venti, two pump mango one pump classic, two percent milk, mango to the second line, three scoops protein, three scoops berries, two scoop matcha, add banana, double blended, with whip, caramel drizzle, salted caramel topping, vanilla bean Frappuccino,” it was clear this was not her first time ordering such a complicated drink. Remus had copied down the whole thing and then gave her his best patronizing smile.

“I’m so sorry ma’am this isn’t Starbucks. We don’t have a venti nor do we make Frappuccinos,” Remus answered placidly. It wasn’t completely true. Normally when people used Venti or a Starbucks term they would make it in their own way. Extra-large in a blender. He didn’t want to help her, however.

Aberforth had glanced up from where he was sharing a quick lunch with Hagrid. He gave Remus a nod asking if he was good. Remus didn’t let his smile slip. He could handle this. This was typical bullsh*t, people were so sensitive about their coffee. He watched her puff herself up and braced himself.

“You stupid boy. I am here all the time. I know the owner and they make my drink like this all the time,” she screeched. Remus didn’t flinch. He had learned a long time ago the best way to deal with this kind of customer was just to take the abuse unflinchingly and then repeat the truth of the universe. They hated being reminded that they were not the main character nor the center of the world. “I demand to speak to your manager.”

“Of course ma’am, one moment please,” Remus answered smoothly and stepped behind the wall that blocked the sink from the counter. The woman settled back on her heels pleased. Lily was holding back laughter at this point as Remus came back around the corner. “Good afternoon ma’am I was informed you wanted to see the manager.”

Remus admired the colors that her face turned. First, it was red then purple, and finally settled into a splotchy red. “Look you little smartass just make my drink,” she spat. Remus glanced down at the paper.

Remus glanced over at Lily making sure she was okay with making such a complicated order. She picked up a cup and held her hand out for the paper. “We are not Starbucks. I can ring this in as an extra-large, cold-blended Latte with all the modifiers,” Remus offered. She seemed to consider this option.

“Fine but if it’s not perfect I will be demanding a refund,” she spat again. Remus rang in the drink.

“Of course. Can I get a name for the order?” and to give the witch I am going to pay to put a curse on you, Remus thought internally.

“Umbridge,” she snapped and Remus typed this into the computer.

“£17.65,” Remus informed her. He got the dirtiest look as she inserted her card into the machine. He hit through all the prompts on the screen as Sirius and James wandered in. “Your order should be up momentarily right over at the pick-up counter.” She huffed off and Remus passed her receipt to Lily to make sure the drink was perfect.

“You look like you’re having fun,” Sirius mentioned as Remus stood to pull James’ drink. He didn’t need to wait twenty minutes for a drink. Remus simply glanced over at the pink monstrosity watching Lily and passed the sheet of paper to Sirius.

“And before you ask, no I'm not making another,” Lily muttered, dumping the drink into the blender and pushing the button. Sirius looked somewhere between intrigued and disgusted. Remus passed James his latte and rang it in.

“Excuse me I was here first, why does he get his coffee first?” the woman bellowed, charging the counter.

“So sorry ma’am, small vanilla lattes come out sooner than,” Remus paused and looked at the receipt again, “we don’t have a name for this drink. I think we christen it ‘The Umbridge’ in honor of you.” Sirius snorted, coming dangerously close to setting off James, Lily, and Remus. “I promise we haven’t forgotten you and your order will be up shortly.”

“Are you trying to get fired?” Sirius asked as Remus debated what to feed his boyfriend today. He punched something in and stood to pull that drink as well.

“Aberforth is not going to fire me,” Remus commented, building a drink next to Lily. It was always nice working with her. They had a good system and rarely got in each other’s way. “She woke up and chose today to make some barista miserable. I’m not going to give her that satisfaction.” Remus passed Sirius his change and drink. The change still went into the tip jar. A moment later Lily had her drink built.

“Ah, our first Umbridge,” Remus announced loudly. “So just to make sure we got it right. Two third caff triple ristretto affogato venti, two pump mango one pump classic, two percent milk, mango to the second line, three scoops protein, three scoops berries, two scoop matcha, add banana, double blended, with whip, caramel drizzle, salted caramel topping, vanilla bean Frappuccino.” Her face turned red as the cafe fell silent during Remus’ proclamation. There weren’t many people in the store but a few of the college kids sitting by the windows snigg*red. “Have a nice day.”

She snatched the drink, her nails actually scraping across Remus’ knuckles. She took a sip and immediately spat it out. “This is completely disgusting and all wrong. The owner will have you out on your arse for this,” she proclaimed dramatically.

“Alright I have had enough of you abusing my staff,” Aberforth rose from his table. All his terrifying size suddenly loomed in her space. She looked like a small pink mouse next to Aberforth’s height.

She seemed to lose some of her nerve but still stiffened. “I have never been so offended. I will have you all fired. I am good friends with the owner. She will be so offended by all of this,” she shrieked. Several phones were now out and filming including James’.

“Unless I am unaware of some very pertinent life facts, I am the owner. I have never been a woman and I have no idea who you are. Now you can take the drink Lily made for you and leave or you can take the refund Remus will offer and leave. Neither of those options involves another drink or another word. You will not be allowed back in,” Aberforth spoke over her continued shrieks.

“This is sexist,” she squawked. “They are discriminating against me because I am a woman.” She glanced around, seeming to try and get sympathy from one of the onlookers. No sympathy was forthcoming, just a wall of cameras. She stamped a foot and huffed. “Give me the refund.”

Remus hit some buttons on the computer. “Insert your card,” he instructed. She seemed reluctant but did as she was told. “The funds should be returned to your card in three to five business days.” She stormed out.

“I’m going on break,” Remus informed Aberforth, shedding his apron.

“Go on,” Aberforth grunted glaring at the pink jacket that was outside now on the phone. Lily poured the rest of the concoction into a cup.

“It’s actually decent,” she passed it to Remus. He glanced down at it and frowned. It was brown and had bits in it, a little like mud. “With all the different juices in it, it’s like Polyjuice. Polyjuice Potion sounds much nicer than ‘The Umbridge.’”

“We are not adding this to the menu. It’s nearly 20 pounds for one drink, takes f*cking forever, and just no,” Remus argued. Lily shed her apron and they made their way over to the table with Sirius and James. Remus settled on the bench next to Sirius and glanced out the window. Umbridge was glaring right back at him as Sirius settled an arm around him and kissed his temple.

“This is good,” Sirius informed him, holding up the drink Remus had made. “Makes me think of Gingerbread.”

“Dirty chai latte, add pumpkin spice, oat milk, and two pumps of brown sugar syrup,” Remus informed him. Sirius sipped it again while Remus sipped the mud out of his cup. It was decent even if the texture, color, and even smell left something to be desired.

“That looked like all sorts of fun,” James waved his hand vaguely at the scene that had just unfolded.

“Honestly, I was tempted to spit in it. Vile toad,” Lily grumbled. “First she comes into the restaurant and gives Remus a hard time then smells blood in the water when she comes here. She’s got it out for you.” Remus knew she did. He could still feel those slow blinking eyes glaring at him.

“Your customer service persona is cute,” Sirius offered and Remus settled in closer to him enjoying being close to his boyfriend. The day was longer and rougher than he had wanted it to be. He hadn’t thought it would be this hard to get back into the swing of things.

“You’ve seen his customer service act before,” Lily commented.

“Yes, but it’s been a while,” Sirius responded. Remus didn’t try to participate in the conversation. He let himself be held by Sirius and knew he would be ok. One difficult customer didn’t have to ruin his day.

--

Remus sighed as Sirius led him inside. “This is completely ridiculous. I have to open tomorrow with one of the new girls. I need rest more than a party,” Remus protested.

“Lily threatened my hair, go,” Sirius urged, grabbing Remus’ shoulders and steering him to the door. Remus didn’t want to go but let himself be manhandled inside the restaurant. Lily glanced up from the seating chart and her face split into a wide grin.

“Dorcas is already expecting you and she is hitting it off with Marlene,” Lily said excitedly, darting forward to hug Remus and Sirius. Apparently, the party over his survival was at the restaurant. Remus took Sirius' hand and led him through to the bar. Alice was sitting at the end talking to Marlene and Dorcas. Sirius and Remus took seats next to Barty and Regulus.

“I don’t think I have been in a restaurant like this ever,” Regulus informed Remus as Dorcas excused herself from the girls and made her way over.

“It’s cute,” Barty informed him. Remus could see Regulus questioning his sanity and the cleanliness of the bar.

“Hey Rem, glad to see you back,” Dorcas’ voice was soothing and lovely. He had missed her. He stood up from the stool and carefully shared a hug with her over the counter. Her corkscrew hair tickled over his cheek. “Lily let us know what management did, that’s so sh*tty.”

“They were never my biggest fans. Dorcas, this is Sirius. Sirius, Dorcas, the person to give me my first legal drink,” Remus introduced and Sirius offered a hand over the counter while Dorcas shook a finger at Remus.

“Don’t tell me that. I take great pride in corrupting people. Knowing I didn’t serve you your first drink ever makes me sad,” Dorcas pouted but took Sirius' hand easily enough.

“Sure he gets introduced,” Regulus grumbled.

“You can introduce yourself. You have a functional mouth and respiratory system,” Dorcas snapped at the younger Black. Regulus narrowed his eyes at her but wisely kept his mouth shut as Barty’s hands moved to cover his. Dorcas moved away and started making what Remus recognized as his favorite drink.

“She should watch it,” Regulus muttered.

“If you somehow manage to get Dorcas fired, I will hold it against you for the rest of your natural life,” Sirius responded. It was clear he already liked her, though that might just be because it was clear she was important to Remus.

“Sorry I’m late. Trixie likes Lily’s tampons. I had to wait for him to cough up a Kotex,” James muttered, appearing out of nowhere.

“That’s a bit TMI honey,” Marlene informed them, giving Remus a gentle hug as well. Alice rushed off to check on her tables. It was a slow night but they were still working. It made Remus feel a little odd that not only was he not working here but he never would be again.

“It wasn’t used,” James replied as Dorcas returned with something chocolatey for Remus and something fruity for Sirius.

“Oh, you must be the cutie Lily won’t shut up about. Hold on stand up,” Dorcas ordered. James looked confused but stood. “Now turn,” she continued. James did it with a daft expression on his face. “I can see it now. You’re right he does have a nice bum.” Lily flushed scarlet as James’ cheeks pinked and he immediately sat down. Marlene and Sirius shared a laugh at his expense.

“I didn’t say… shut up,” Lily retorted and immediately fled back to the host stand as more people came in. Remus heard her chirpy greeting and turned back to Dorcas.

“How have things been here?” he asked, curious about the gossip and drama.

“It’s been fine. We’re well into the university season, so you know, it’s drunk frat boys. They all think calling me a slice of chocolate cake is somehow endearing or flattering. I just want to punch them in their stupid faces. Like, I’m a woman of color working on a women’s studies degree at the local university. They have no chance,” Dorcas scoffed.

“Lesbian?” Regulus asked curiously.

“Way to stereotype Baby Black,” Marlene objected.

“They exist for a reason,” Regulus muttered mutinously.

“Bisexual,” Dorcas confirmed and moved over to get some people on the other side of the bar a beer refill.

“You are such a co*ckblock,” Marlene informed Regulus. “You don’t just go asking people about their sexual orientation.”

“It wasn’t an ask so much as an educated guess. She mentioned she doesn’t like frat boys hitting on her. She’s checked you out three times and Lily four just since I walked in. She’s also gotten all the girls at the bar refills twice and my drink is empty,” Regulus retorted hotly gesturing to his empty glass.

“You drink lager, you deserve an empty glass,” Marlene responded watching as Dorcas flashed a quick grin while pulling a couple of beers. “Wait, she was checking me out.”

“Get over yourself McKinnon, either ask her out or don’t. I don’t have the patience for lesbian waffling,” Regulus huffed. Remus wondered how long Regulus and Marlene had known each other. Was it a meeting sparked by Sirius and Regulus reconnecting or was Marlene a childhood friend he would have known before?

“You should definitely ask Dorcas out. She likes gingers, and tried to date Lily last year but it turns out they are polar opposites,” Alice informed them, picking up drinks for her table before rushing off again.

“You all are vastly unhelpful,” Marlene informed them all but quieted as Dorcas came back over. Her dark eyes flickered over Marlene’s face, her smile a bit more genuine. Those eyes flickered briefly down and then away over the others.

“None of you are drunk enough. Siri gets virgin drinks because he is DD as does Barty but everyone else can get lit up in this bitch,” Dorcas clapped her hands together. “Who wants shots?”

Remus had forgotten the rules when hanging out. Drunk was expected. So he let his cute boyfriend and the cute bartender ply him with alcohol. Drunk Regulus was a fun experience. His walls came down and soon he was singing loudly with the Jukebox. His hair was wild and he had no qualms about dancing. He looked like he was being electrocuted but Barty insisted it was dancing. Marlene got overt in her flirting and had Dorcas’ number by eleven. At this point, she called a car and left.

All in all, it was a good night. Barty hauled Regulus out when Regulus announced to the whole bar he wanted to have sex right now. “I’m gonna take you home and make you a creamy Italian,” Regulus purred as Barty collected their coats.

“Have fun,” Lily called after them and sat another table.

“We should head out soon too. I can already tell the hangover is gonna suck,” Remus muttered to Sirius. He looked up as Lily made her way back over, looking annoyed.

“What’s the matter?” Dorcas asked as Lily crossed her arms and half hid herself from the table she had just sat.

“f*cking assholes at twenty-five. Made some comments about me as they followed me to a table. Asked if I was on the menu when I sat them,” she huffed. James turned like a bloodhound catching a scent. “James don’t. If you confront them I can get fired. I’ll just wait until they’ve got drinks to focus on.”

*~*

Chapter 43: Mr. James Potter

Chapter Text

Lily stayed hidden from the table for a while but eventually had to leave her shelter to seat other tables. Dorcas started serving Remus water when he voiced concerns about staying on the bike. James watched Lily until Sirius mentioned he was likely making her uncomfortable. “Joy of having a cute girl. We have to deal with them being too pretty for their own good,” Dorcas lamented with James.

“Want to go and look after her but I know it would make her hate me,” James grumbled as Dorcas offered him another soda.

“Get your hands off of me,” Lily’s strident voice rang out and they all glanced over to see her back away from a table looking deeply offended.

“Come on baby, don't be like that. I was just admiring the view,” one of the men at the table said. Lily stormed off. Straight through the doors and into the kitchen. Remus wasn’t sure why she was bothering to get management, they never cared about the female staff getting harassed before, and that would likely not change. Dorcas filed at least three complaints a month.

Sirius was watching the doors in and out of the kitchen. Remus and Dorcas shared a pensive look over the bar. James was glaring at table 25 who were guffawing and high-fiving. Remus glanced over, he recognized the greasy-haired man who had harassed Lily at the coffee shop, his nose was still crooked where James had broken it. He was talking to several other unsavory-looking characters.

“Look if you refuse to take this seriously and boot them out I quit. They put their hands on me, they made inappropriate comments, and crass jokes, and when all that failed they grabbed me and tried to stick a hand up my skirt. That’s assault,” Lily was loud when she was mad. Her voice was carrying out of the kitchen now.

“Now Lily be reasonable it was just boys being boys,” the manager said following Lily as she exited the kitchen toward the host stand.

“Boys being boys has been used to victim blame and hush up sexual assault for years. I won’t be a part of that culture. Do your job or my next stop is the police,” she continued. Her face was red but in a whole different way than embarrassment. It was rare to see Lily properly riled. She got angry, sure but this was her at her angriest. Very few things got her fired up this bad; her sister, body shaming, hate speech, and harassment.

“If you walk out on your shift because you can’t handle customer service I will have to provide you with papers,” the manager’s voice was just as slimy as ever. Remus was glad he didn’t have to kowtow to this man anymore. James got off his stool and made his way over to the manager.

“Excuse me, sir,” James’ voice was steady. It was the first time Remus had seen him being anything less than a simp for Lily, a baby-talking dog dad, and Sirius' goofy adopted brother. This was the James who had been raised in the upper crust of society, rubbing elbows with the same people Regulus likely still dealt with today. The manager gave Lily one last stern look and turned to James.

“I am so sorry if we have disturbed your evening sir. My hostess was just having a rough moment. I am sure after a break her hysterics will have calmed down,” his grin made Remus want to chew glass. His drunkenness was quickly dissipating. This day just sucked all around. Lily looked really upset.

“It sounds like Lily made a report of a customer behaving inappropriately and instead of following procedure you are bullying her and threatening her job. That’s illegal and not to mention against the policies set out by your parent company,” James’ voice was firm. The manager was an inch or so shorter than James and seemed to shrink as the disgust made it clear that James thought nothing of the spineless man in front of him.

“I’m sorry, what would you know of this matter or the policies involved in my job?” the man asked. Sirius made sure Remus was steady on the stool before moving to Lily. He wrapped an arm around her and led her to the bar. He kept his body between hers and the men who had assaulted her. He also cast his jacket over her shoulders offering more coverage than her black dress had.

“I’m James Potter. My family owns your parent company and this entire chain. I helped write the policies that you are supposed to be trained on,” James held out a business card. The man took the card looking incredulous. However, a moment later his face went sheet white.

“Oh, Mr. Potter, we were not expecting you or your family to drop by. It’s so nice to meet you,” The man was clearly trying to smooth over the bumpy moment. James just gave him a disgusted look and then glanced back at Lily who seemed to be calming down as Dorcas provided her with water and Sirius offered her comfort and warmth.

Remus glanced over at that table again. The men were no longer laughing and joking around. The greasy-haired man was glaring at Sirius' back and the others were watching the exchange between James and the manager. “Lily, did you want to file an official report?” James asked. Lily looked up at him. Her green eyes were becoming horribly red-rimmed.

“I just want to go home,” she muttered.

“James give me your keys,” Sirius ordered and started to lead Lily out to James’ car.

“Now I must protest. If she leaves…” the manager blustered.

“You’ll do nothing. She is leaving because she was just assaulted on the job. I will be sending an auditor to come by tomorrow to look through everything and heaven help you if that camera’s feed is tampered with or deleted,” James didn’t need to finish that statement, the manager knew a threatening promise when he heard one. “Lily will be coming back to work on her next shift and if she brings up the slightest bit of discrimination or retaliation I will personally see to it that you no longer have this position.” James’ voice was cool, calm, and collected, but Remus could tell it took every ounce of his self-control to not punch someone (again).

“Dorcas, can I settle mine and Sirius’ tab please?” James asked, returning to the bar and gathered his jacket. He paid the bill and led Remus out. Sirius was sitting in the car with Lily. She wiped her face when James came over. He knelt by the open door and took her hands in his. Remus stood back as they spoke quietly. Lily leaned forward and hugged him tightly after a moment.

“I’m glad I got to actually know you and agreed to go out with you, James,” Lily spoke, a soft hiccup interrupting her halfway through as she held the man tightly.

“I love you,” James smiled gently, wiping away a stray tear. It was clear it was the first time he had said it to her. Lily paused and her face broke from irritation and fear to confusion, surprise, and finally relief. She moved forward and kissed him, hands winding into the fabric of his shirt.

“I love you, too,” she responded back when they separated. James looked utterly gobsmacked. It was a good look on him. Lily giggled at the expression and nudged him. He shook his head a bit like a dog and shifted so Remus could move in and hug her.

“Be careful. Love makes them completely mental. They try to take care of us and stuff,” Remus warned her loud enough that Sirius and James could hear him. She wrapped her arms around Remus tightly.

“I’m strangely not against all that,” Lily let out a shaky chuckle. They drew back and Remus pressed a kiss to her forehead. “He loves me.” She whispered to Remus and he chuckled.

“I heard,” he shared a conspiratorial smile with her. She gave him a genuine smile back. It was clear James couldn’t have picked a better way to cheer her up. He stood and she pulled her legs into the car. Sirius closed the door on her and led Remus over to the bike.

“Are you sober enough to stay on and not unbalance me?” Sirius asked. Remus shrugged. He might be ok, might not be. Only time would tell. He took the helmet from Sirius and placed it on his head. “If you’re gonna throw up, give my arm two squeezes so I can pull over.”

“He says he loves me then makes me get on his death machine while half drunk,” Remus grumbled as he climbed up behind Sirius and wrapped his arms around the other’s waist. He closed his eyes as the first movement made his stomach angry. The ride to the apartment was surprisingly quick and then they were back in their safe, quiet space.

Remus smiled happily when Sirius joined him in the shower. He sank into the warm kiss he was given. “You were so sweet to Lily tonight,” Remus commented. Sirius brushed back the wet hair plastered to Remus’ face.

“I consider her a friend. And while I don’t think that was always on the cards for us, I’m glad to have gotten there,” Sirius commented, pressing another kiss to Remus’ lips.

“I’m about to be sweet to you for being so sweet to her,” Remus informed him, and before Sirius could comment Remus had sunk down in the shower. He took a moment to get his knees stable on the slick floor and then placed his hands on Sirius' thighs. He took the rapidly hardening erection in his mouth.

“f*ck, Remus,” Sirius breathed his hands tangling in that damp hair. Remus gave a happy sigh at those fingers. He bobbed his head, placing his hands on smooth thighs to keep himself balanced. Initially, all he could taste was the water from the shower but eventually, Sirius' own musky taste bloomed across his tongue, causing Remus to hum happily.

Sirius' hand tightened in Remus’ hair, and the sandy-haired man didn’t fight as his lover took over thrusting into his mouth. He let his jaw loosen and his throat relax. The tip hit the back of his throat and he dropped his hands so he could brace himself better while having his throat f*cked. He looked up at Sirius and met blazing silver eyes.

“You are so f*cking sexy,” Sirius groaned, his voice low and heavy. Remus gave a low moan, loving the fact that he was making his Sirius feel so good. The thrusts grew short and choppy until Sirius was spilling down his throat. Remus was immediately pulled to his feet and kissed. Sirius' hand found Remus’ co*ck. He had been hard since he had gotten on his knees. “Wanna play with you tonight, how intoxicated are you?” Sirius asked.

“Less and less every second,” Remus answered honestly. “I feel cognitive enough to consent.” Sirius examined his face and then leaned in and kissed Remus again. This kiss was designed to be disorientating. The only thing Remus could do was kiss back and not fall over. He seemed to have passed whatever test Sirius had determined.

“Get dried off and lay down on the bed,” Sirius lightly slapped Remus’ bottom. Remus climbed out of the warm water. He did take a moment to brush his teeth knowing he was unlikely to want to after whatever Sirius was going to do to him.

Remus went to lay on the bed and stared at the fan making its lazy circles on the ceiling. Soon enough the bed dipped and before Remus could look over Sirius' body covered his own. He was naked and warm as he kissed Remus. Remus hummed happily into the kiss. A blindfold slipped over his eyes.

Sirius pulled back from the kiss. “It’s going to feel weird but hold still. If you ruin my art I’ll punish you before tying you into place,” Sirius informed him. Remus relaxed into the bed and a damp something touched his skin.

It warmed quickly as it traced over his him. Sirius was making marks on his body. Remus didn’t try to tune into these strokes. He let Sirius carry on wondering what he was being used as the canvas of. “Perfect. I’m getting off the bed but I will be right by the stairs,” Sirius informed him. Remus gave a small nod. He was beginning to feel a bit sleepy, this was the problem with alcohol.

He could hear the familiar scratch of charcoal over a piece of paper. “I thought you were supposed to ask for permission before sketching someone,” Remus griped. A low chuckle sounded warm and smooth.

“If you were anyone else that would be true but with you, I’m the boss. Beyond that, you’re my favorite subject,” Sirius answered easily, the scrape of charcoal on paper not stopping. It made Remus feel warm all over to think of Sirius' eyes tracing over his body. His co*ck twitched but he ignored it.

“Should I be flattered? Like, I’m replacing nature or another person, or is this like I replaced Bastet?” Remus asked. Sirius made a tutting sound but it was laced with amusem*nt.

“Don’t diss Bas, do you know how complicated cats are? Beyond that, it’s not like I can tell her not to move. Ok I can and I do but she doesn’t listen to me,” Sirius grumbled. Remus lay still enjoying the warmth of Sirius' gaze on him. Arousal pooled low in his stomach. “You shouldn’t move.”

“Feels good,” Remus contradicted, wrapping his hand firmly around the erection and giving it a stroke. Made him feel sexy to stroke himself in front of Sirius.

“At least let me finish this and then you can jerk yourself off in front of me if you would prefer that to me riding you,” Sirius commented. Remus gave his co*ck a squeeze with a low groan but dropped his hand, Sirius riding him sounded like the best thing ever.

The scratching of the charcoal sounded again and Remus tried to stay still even as his co*ck throbbed and leaked. Eventually, the noise stopped, and there was the sound of Sirius blowing air over the paper then the bed dipped. The blindfold was removed and Remus blinked rapidly. The lights were dim but Remus could see the markings on his skin.

Around each scar were clusters of stars and using some of the ragged edges Sirius had given them beautiful tails. The comets sailed across his skin mingling with carefully inked stars. He brushed his fingers over the series drawn carefully over his hand. Sirius had taken the time to ink stars up over his thumb and across the back of his hand.

Tails trailed over his hand and up his wrist. He remembered that moment in the attack, it had been the most painful, it had taken the longest to heal and he still had issues with that hand from the scar tissue. Sirius had made it beautiful and intricate by tracing each individual scar with swirling constellations together where the twisted flesh wound around itself. It was an ugly symbol of the body reclaiming his hand. While he was glad he hadn’t lost his hand or function he wished the skin grafts had been applied with a little more care. The stars and comets now moving around it added a strange beauty he never would have cared to have noticed.

Remus looked over at Sirius feeling strangely emotional. “I’ve never seen scars like yours. I am curious about what happened but I know it makes you uncomfortable. I only see beauty in them, they make me think of the scars of the universe, those swoopy bits of space dust that exist between stars. The blueprints and bones of space,” Sirius explained. Remus swallowed. “The Big Bang was violent and intense but it built something beautiful. You survived whatever violent, intense thing happened to you and became something beautiful.”

“I love you,” Remus murmured, leaning in when Sirius' hand cupped his cheek.

“I love you,” Sirius responded. Remus leaned in and they kissed. The sketchpad dug into Remus' side. “Oh, yes,” he plucked the sketchpad up so Remus could see it. “You look so lovely.” Remus looked at the drawing. His cheeks heated as he saw that Sirius had decided to draw him while he had been misbehaving, a star-decorated hand gripping his hard co*ck obscenely.

Sirius had taken the time to follow the whorls of his body hair and the way his sandy hair fell over his forehead and the edge of the blindfold. Everything down to the wrinkle of the bedsheet and the way the blindfold bent around his ear was cataloged. “I see your figure drawing classes are being put to good use.”

Sirius chuckled, setting the sketchpad aside. “I always liked figure drawing class,” Sirius wrapped his arms around Remus. Despite being shorter he managed to pull Remus into his lap. His legs trapped Remus’ pulling them apart and those pretty arms held him in place before his hand closed over the heavy co*ck.

Remus tipped his head back relaxing into the human bondage. Sirius kissed the side of his head. “I find culture’s sexualization of the human body horrific. It teaches shame. Our bodies are so beautiful and natural. It’s why I have no problem stripping down for my students. Despite that, I do enjoy nude drawings both in a classroom setting and like this. The amount of trust to allow me to capture you completely bare like this,” Sirius hummed. Remus could feel the twitch of Sirius' co*ck against his back. His hand was slow and languid on Remus’ co*ck.

“Of course I trust you, Sirius,” Remus breathed. Sirius' lips were soft against his neck and shoulder, his teeth sharp but the bruising lovely. “You’re gonna make it so I barely get into you and cum,” Remus warned, rocking his hips into Sirius' hand.

Sirius grinned, leaving another bruise on Remus’ shoulder, and unwrapped himself. Remus watched as Sirius retrieved the lube and smoothed some over Remus’ co*ck. His long fingers also slipped between his cheeks. Remus could tell from the noises Sirius made he was prepping himself. He knew immediately when one finger breached him.

Sirius had taken a deep breath with a low moan and his grey eyes had dropped shut. Now he rocked against his hand. “Stroke yourself while you watch me,” Sirius groaned. Remus did as he was told, taking his co*ck in hand. The slickness of the lube made it so nice. He kept his strokes slow, he wanted to last once he was buried in that delicious body.

When Sirius slid a second finger into his body Remus had to grip around the base of his co*ck. He forced himself to stay still for several long moments. He was sunk when Sirius' eyes were on him again. “You look so lovely waiting for me. I wonder what you would look like manhandling me a little bit. Do you want to? Hold me down and make me take you,” Sirius' eyes held a dare.

Remus felt his brain stall. Sirius couldn’t be proposing what Remus thought he was. “Ah well, a tame wolf is lovely all the same,” Sirius' eyes slid shut again and Remus could tell a third finger had slipped into that lithe body. “So good though being held down by my hair while I’m f*cked within an inch of my life.”

Before he could overthink it Remus moved off his arse to where Sirius was. A hand wrapped in dark hair and the other around Sirius’ waist. “Hey,” Sirius' voice was loud but not distressed. Remus had him pinned to the bed and twisted his arm up much like Sirius had done to him.

Sirius was a bit more of a fighter than Remus and it took him shoving his legs between Sirius’ and pressing them open to get him stationary enough for the next move. Remus lined up with his hole and pressed in. “I was going to be nice tonight,” Remus informed him.

“Nice is for the straights, wreck me Moony,” Sirius groaned as Remus sank deep into him with one swift stroke. “I claim you all the time, I want you to claim me.” Remus kept his hand in that dark hair, his legs holding Sirius' open. Sirius was smaller than Remus.

Thin and delicate but Remus knew his submission to Sirius was mental. He also knew Sirius was still in charge. He had all but ordered Remus to hold him down. He moved in firm thrusts, a hand pinning Sirius' hands over his head when Sirius scratched him. “You did teach me how to use ropes, don't make me get them,” Remus threatened when Sirius' legs flailed again.

Sirius went still under Remus. His face was still pressed to the mattress by a hand in his hair that would occasionally tug, his arms pinned over his head by the other hand and his legs forced open by Remus’ muscular thighs. Remus slid into Sirius deep and hard, the sound of skin on skin and the nearly pained moans spilling from Sirius were lovely.

“Do you need to be stroked or can you get off like this, Pup?” Remus growled against his ear.

“f*ck Moony just pound me into the mattress, I’ll get off with my hand if needed,” Sirius pleaded. Remus let the words wipe his brain. He f*cked into Sirius brutally. Sirius was nearly screaming into the duvet as they moved. “Oh there, right there. Yes, yes,” Sirius cut off into a series of loud moans and his body tightened.

Remus thrust into Sirius again and again enjoying the way his muscles coiled tight. He growled again as he spilled into the now limp body under him. He collapsed on top of Sirius, spent.

*~*

Chapter 44: Mehndi

Chapter Text

Remus came down the next morning rolling up the sleeves of his shirt. Sirius was already up, standing in front of a canvas, humming, coffee forgotten next to him. “What are you working on?” Remus asked, making his way to the coffee pot and pouring himself a mug.

Sirius looked up and gestured him over. Remus added milk and made his way to where Sirius was working. “Ah, no touchie. You have paint on your hands and I need to go to work,” Remus scolded brushing away Sirius' hands. Sirius looked put off with a slight pout but didn’t try to place his paint covered hands on Remus’ white shirt again.

“I like this picture enough that I am transferring it to canvas. I wanted to ask your permission to display it at the gallery,” Sirius answered. Remus flushed as he saw the sketch pinned up next to the canvas and the lines of his legs already coming together on the canvas.

“I’m not sure that’s appropriate,” Remus argued, scratching idly at the ink on his hands. Sirius' eyes flickered down and he caught Remus’ hand.

“I should have warned you before I used Mehndi,” Sirius started, but by the confused look on Remus’ face he just smirked. “It’s what most people call Henna, but the actual process is called Mehndi. We can take it off with rubbing alcohol if you’d like,” Sirius offered, his fingers lightly tracing over the stars. Remus withdrew his hands and pulled them defensively close.

“I like my stars, back off,” Remus informed him and Sirius' face spread into a wide grin. He took Remus’ hand back and kissed over a cluster of stars.

“I like your stars too. Why don’t you want this displayed?” Sirius asked. “Your face is obscured by the blindfold, your tattoo is not visible and while I will always be able to identify your co*ck I doubt many people have a co*ck gallery in their minds.”

“See I thought you were about to persuade me by being very sweet but no you went with the dick answer,” Remus groaned wrapping arms around Sirius being careful with his coffee mug.

“Literally the dick answer,” Sirius agreed, cuddling into Remus. “If you don’t want me to display it I won’t but I would very much like you to see the completed canvas before you make that determination.” Remus let his eyes travel over the canvas Sirius had already started and chewed his lip.

“You’ll keep my name out of it?” Remus asked and got a nod. “You won’t sell it?” he asked, he didn’t want his naked form in someone else’s home.

“I will not sell it. I will place it in the part of the gallery I use to display a specific form of art for commission pieces,” Sirius agreed. Remus sighed. He had been sunk as soon as Sirius had fallen in love with him covered in mehndi.

“Alright crazy man,” Remus answered and Sirius looked up at him. He was subjected to a lovely kiss. “I didn’t know you did commissions.”

“I don’t do them very often, they stifle creativity and make my head hurt but that purple piece was a commission,” Sirius waved his hand at the packaged-up purple canvas. They called it the purple canvas but it was a pale yellow canvas with a felt, quilted plush chair painted dead center.

“I wondered why you were painting a chair, it seemed odd,” Remus agreed and Sirius made a face, stole Remus’ coffee, and turned back to the canvas. Remus took the cold coffee back to the kitchen, poured it into the sink, and made himself a new mug of coffee. Remus made breakfast, convinced Sirius to eat and they headed out.

--

Remus climbed into the car when a familiar redhead waved from the passenger seat. “Thanks, James,” Remus said, pulling the seatbelt across his lap. Sirius had texted him an hour ago asking if James could come get him.

“No problem,” James answered. Lily turned to Remus.

“Your boyfriend is all sorts of annoying. We were at the plant nursery when he called,” Lily informed him. Remus gave her a look.

“Lily, you can’t adopt any more leaf babies,” Remus informed her. She leveled a finger at him.

“Just because you’re letting what Sirius gives you sit in a savings account instead of college courses doesn’t mean I have to do the same. I have a rich boyfriend who buys me plants,” Lily informed him.

“Are you using me for plants?” James asked, his hand coming to rest on Lily’s thigh. It was an unconscious gesture. It was the same one Sirius made whenever they came to a stop light. He would reach back and run his hands over Remus’ legs. Just this morning Remus had gotten more confident. He would lean forward and run his hands down Sirius' chest at a red light. Sirius had kissed him silly once they reached the shop so it worked.

“Oh absolutely,” Lily assured him, placing her hand on James’ hand and giving him a sweet smile. “Do you mind?” she asked, still in that sweet tone.

“Am I supposed to?” James asked. Remus rolled his eyes and looked out the window. The densely packed city rushed past them until James pulled up to a curb by a high-end gallery. Remus had seen something in the papers about it a few times but had never bothered to come up. Mostly because he didn’t know enough about art to enjoy it and had no reason to ever come by.

He climbed out of the car and waited patiently for James and Lily. “Sirius used Mehndi on you,” James commented, gesturing to the stars still on Remus’ hands. The Mehndi had darkened over the day. He’d had several people comment on it. “I told Mum not to teach him how. Knew he would only use it for evil.”

“He didn’t use it for evil. He used it to seduce his boyfriend,” Lily took Remus’ hand to examine the stars as they stepped into the gallery. Marlene was sitting on a couch in the middle of a large open space, James gave her shoulder a familiar touch and she shook her head at him.

“He’s completely impossible,” she gestured to Sirius going off about something in the middle of the floor. He was talking to two people who looked less than convinced about what they were being asked to do.

“He looks manic. What happened?” James asked as Lily took a seat next to Marlene, with James sitting on the arm of the couch. It gave Remus an unobstructed view of Sirius who was flicking through several canvases.

“His brother stopped by earlier and dropped some sort of news on him. He’s been insane, more than usual, ever since. I figured I could bring Dorcas here, thinking it would be a lovely place for a date with a pretty girl only to find…” Flapping her hand towards what was likely a Sirius tornado, Marlene looked exasperated. Remus frowned at all of them.

“You all are bad friends,” Remus informed them. Marlene glanced back at him.

“Ah, you brought the wolf. If you think you can calm him down by all means. Jamie and I have been doing it for years,” Marlene gestured for him to proceed just as a woman came up. She was in a neat pencil skirt and her hair was up in a tight bun. She handed Marlene a coffee mug.

“Hello Mr. Potter,” she greeted friendly enough, and Lily bit back a snort. “Would you like tea, coffee, or water?” The woman asked solicitously.

“Water will be fine. Lily, would you like anything?” James asked, which caused Lily to glance at him and then at the young woman standing by obviously waiting.

“Water will be just fine… I didn’t catch your name,” Lily extended her hand politely. The woman seemed surprised.

“My name is Mary,” the woman answered, clasping Lily’s hand briefly.

“Lovely to meet you, Mary. I’m Lily, and Remus here, I’m assuming, is also a new face for you,” Lily introduced. Mary took Remus' hand as well.

“Mr. Black has spoken very highly of his new partner, Mr. Lupin. I’m Mr. Black’s personal assistant. I am glad you are feeling better. May I grab you something to eat or drink?” she asked courteously, clasping her hands in front of her.

“Please, don’t ever call me ‘Mr. Lupin’ again, just Remus, and I’m actually fine thank you,” Remus felt very odd about the whole interaction. He was once again reminded that Sirius and James were just used to having people around to look after them. In another time he felt Mary might have bowed. She simply gave him a polite nod and went on her way.

“If Sirius wasn’t as bent as a roundabout I would be worried,” Lily snorted.

“If Mary wasn’t as bent as a bobby pin I would be worried,” Marlene countered. Lily snorted and James frowned at her.

“How could you possibly know that?” James asked. Remus felt like the answer was obvious. Marlene turned to him with an incredulous look on her face. Her eyebrows went up just slightly.

“If I need to explain how I know that girl is queer you clearly haven’t been paying attention. Mary is… discreet, yes. But get that hair down and…” Marlene trailed off suggestively, sipping her coffee. Her lipstick left perfect red imprints on the mug.

“You did ask,” Lily informed James. They all looked up at the crash from across the floor. It was immediately coupled with Sirius shouting.

"No, no, no! This is all wrong! Tonight is a big f*cking night! Everything MUST be perfect!" Sirius looked like he might actually go properly balmy as he stormed over.

“Excuse me, I actually do need to tend to this meltdown before he makes someone cry,” Marlene set her coffee off to the side and started across the floor. “Moon man come with me in case I need backup.” Remus caught up with the nickname a moment later and frowned at Lily who shrugged.

Marlene led the way easily across the gallery and through an area that was clearly not for the public view. Sirius was back there flipping through canvases. His hair was messy around his face. “Siri, what’s going on? There’s no event tonight. I should know, I’ve seen your schedule.” Remus wondered if Marlene worked here or if this was a side effect of whatever she’d been doing with Mary.

“He can’t just pop in and say we have to go see the parents. That takes massive planning and the bloody gallery has to be perfect… what if they want to come here,” Sirius muttered, not turning to fully face Marlene. Remus frowned at this, he didn’t like where Sirius was going.

Marlene seemed to analyze Sirius for a moment before she crossed her arms. “Sirius, love, nothing in life is perfect. The only way to be truly perfect would be to sit completely still and sip weak tea. You, darling, are not that boring and I will not tolerate that kind of slander on my bestie.”

Remus would have gone at Sirius in this mood a little gentler and for a moment he was genuinely concerned about the reaction she was about to get. Sirius' hands stilled and he stopped for a moment. Then Sirius snorted. “That sounds like what my mother wanted from me. Wouldn’t want to give that old cow the satisfaction,” Sirius grumbled and straightened. He turned to Marlene. “Thanks.”

“Next time you need your head pulled out of your arse can you just call a proctologist… or Remus,” Marlene suggested. Sirius seemed to finally notice Remus was here. His brow furrowed and then smoothed.

“You forgot you set James on me,” Remus guessed, stepping forward and allowing Sirius to pull him for a tight hug. Marlene’s heels clicked on the floor as she walked away. “What’s all this about?”

“Reg stopped by this morning and gave me this,” Sirius pulled out a stiff card of bright white stationery. Remus took it curiously. It was covered in flowery writing that made his eyes feel like they were reading a foreign language. Eventually, he managed to decipher the hieroglyphics he had been handed.

“Your parents want to see you,” Remus confirmed and got a slow nod from Sirius.

“Reg told them he was inviting me to the wedding stuff. Mother needs to speak with me and my date, which I am hoping you will consent to be,” Sirius spoke softly brushing Remus’ hair back. Remus loved that Sirius was constantly brushing back his hair so he could see his eyes. It was sweet.

“Of course I’ll be your date, who else would you go with? Bastet?” Remus asked, frowning at the card again. “One little problem. I really don’t have anything that will work for this meeting,” Remus informed him. Sirius glanced down at Remus’ slacks and sweater over his work shirt, he hadn’t had a chance to change.

“I really can help if you’ll let me,” Sirius informed him. Remus gave him a look and Sirius touched his lips lightly. “This isn’t about all of that. It’s I have the money to throw around to get you a properly fitted, if not tailored suit, by whatever time we’re supposed to be there.”

“Eight,” Remus informed him. He ran his hands through his hair, it didn’t really seem like he had much of a choice here. It was to let Sirius handle it or show up woefully underdressed. “Fine but I still have final say. I don’t like it, I won’t wear it.”

“Deal,” Sirius agreed and pulled out his phone. He started leading Remus back through to the front.

“Don’t you have to finish up all of this?” Remus asked, noticing it was only half done since Sirius had apparently been on their case all morning.

“Nah, Marls is probably ready to kill me anyway. She does better when I am out of the way,” Sirius answered. “So you’ll have my mess all fixed in what, three hours?” he asked the strawberry blonde.

“Two. Get out,” Marlene answered, waving them off. Sirius shot her a grin and tugged Remus out of the shop. Remus took the leather jacket Sirius always kept on the bike. Sirius pulled Remus close and their lips met in a kiss. Sirius tangled his tongue with Remus’ for a long moment before letting him go.

“Realized I hadn’t kissed you since this morning, that simply won’t do,” Sirius placed a kiss on Remus’ cheek before placing the helmet on Remus’ head and doing up the straps underneath.

“Sap,” Remus informed him, climbing onto the bike easily. He wrapped his arms around Sirius' waist. Sirius stroked briefly over his hands and pushed off the curb into traffic.

--

Remus fidgeted with the hem of the jacket as they pulled up to the house. “Stop fidgeting, you look lovely,” Sirius scolded lightly. Remus glanced over at him.

“No, you look lovely. I look like I was rolled through a Men’s clothing store and they threw clothes at me,” Remus corrected. Sirius was wearing a white button-down, artfully wrinkled (or so he claimed), and untucked over black chinos with that leather jacket despite them not taking the bike. He had dressed Remus a little more business casual. A dark green tucked-in button-up and grey chinos with a blazer over the top. Even his hair had been combed and Sirius had used mousse to hold it in place.

Remus felt uncomfortable and out of place but wasn’t about to argue with Sirius about it. It was clear the other man was already on edge. “I dressed you and no one dressed by me looks anything less than spectacular. Not to mention you’re like six feet tall and have this rugged thing going on. Makes me want to peel off all those layers and do you over the nearest flat surface. Instead we’re here, so let’s get through this so I can go home and do just that,” Sirius grumbled.

It wasn’t worth any sort of argument. Sirius climbed out of the car and it was clear his manners were returning to the forefront of his mind. He had Remus’ car door open. “Should have brought the bike, might have softened the nerves,” Remus stroked over Sirius' cheek lightly and brushed his lips over Sirius' forehead as thin fingers tangled with his.

“I won’t give her the ability to criticize me tonight. Respectable car, respectable outfit, respectable partner, and so on,” Sirius grumbled leaning into the comfort offered. Remus kept his hand in Sirius' and they made their way to the wrought iron gate. As soon as they stepped behind the gate Remus swore the temperature dropped a few degrees, it was like the last few rays of the setting sun couldn’t penetrate past that fence.

“Taking the name a bit far aren’t they?” Remus asked, trying to lighten the mood as they made their way up to the door. The yard was perfectly tended to even as the grass was yellow in the winter cold. The house was bleak and grey, the door a flat black with a perfectly polished silver serpent knocker placed perfectly in the middle of the door.

“I hate this house… Please stay with me tonight so I don’t take a flamethrower to the silk wallpaper,” Sirius' voice was a rough whisper. Remus glanced over at his boyfriend and took in the expression on Sirius' face. It was ashen under his foundation.

“I’ll always stay with you, Sirius,” Remus answered and felt that hand tighten around his briefly. Sirius took a deep breath and reached forward to grip the knocker. The thuds against the wood felt like thuds of doom.

Every knock settled into his stomach like cement and it was drying fast. He felt his heart speeding up, his free hand brought his inhaler up and he sucked down the medication before the door swung open. A small, stooped man stood in front of them. “Master Black,” the man said in a hoarse bullfrog voice. He bowed Sirius into the house.

“Hello Kreacher,” Sirius answered dully. They stepped in and Kreacher shut the door behind them. Kreacher held out his hand and Sirius disengaged from Remus to shed his jacket.

“Mistress Black is waiting for you in the sitting room with tea,” Kreacher informed him and took Remus’ jacket as well. Sirius took Remus’ hand again. He led Remus through a narrow hallway, all dark paneled wood, silver gilt frames around haughty-looking portraits, and as promised, grey silk wallpaper.

Sirius let himself through a door into a richly appointed room. Regulus and Barty were there, sitting on a couch sipping tea. On the other couch was a woman with the same dark hair and bright eyes as the brothers. However, her hair was streaked through with silver and those piercing blue eyes looked as if they had never seen a wrinkle in her life. It was likely due to having Botox or some other drugs that helped people look youthful. Other than that she cut an intimidating figure. Her back was ramrod straight, her eyes were hard and icy and her face looked like it was made of stone. Remus felt himself wanting to shrink away. He placed his hand on Sirius' wrist inching closer to him. There was a person next to her, a man with the same dark hair, his eyes were grey but this time had the distinctive lines of crow's feet. He also sat ramrod straight and made of stone.

“Sirius, how lovely of you to join us,” Every word sounded false. A hand gestured to the empty couch across from them. It was perfectly manicured and the rings on it were elegant and expensive.

“Mother,” Sirius greeted shortly. His hand was tight around Remus’ but Remus squeezed back. He hated this whole thing.

*~*

Chapter 45: Biryani

Chapter Text

Remus could feel the tension in the room become more stifling as they were served tea. “Are you going to introduce your… friend?” the woman asked, passing Sirius a mug of tea.

“My boyfriend,” Sirius corrected almost virulently. “Remus Lupin, Walburga Black and Orion Black.” Remus took the hands offered to him. There was no true emotion in the hold, but the hands were warm and firm. Walburga evaluated him as though he was something small and nasty that needed to be squashed. Orion seemed uninterested.

“Of course, I am assuming you will be his date for the wedding Mr. Lupin,” Walburga sat back and crossed her ankles. Remus forced himself not to recoil from her disapproval. She made him feel cold all the way through.

“Yes, I will be,” Remus responded. He was grateful that his voice was steady as he spoke up.

“Very well, I will need you both to dress appropriately. So I will need you to submit your outfits so I can approve them,” Walburga spoke stiffly, not even really looking at them.

“Excuse me, Mother, since Barty and I are paying for everything we will be approving everything including Sirius and Remus’ outfits,” Regulus spoke up. Walburga’s eyes moved to the younger Black brother and narrowed slightly.

“You have so much on your plate already. Surely you want to share some duties. I assumed you wouldn’t mind someone else looking after something as paltry as clothing,” Walburga’s ring-encrusted hand waved carelessly through the air.

“You know what they say about assuming, Mother,” Regulus responded, his tone never changing. Barty’s mug clicked a little indelicately as he hastily set down his tea and lifted a napkin to his lips. Sirius was less subtle, he snorted. Remus bit his lip hard. He got an elbow nudge and released the abused flesh. He could tell already that Sirius would insist on examining it and punish him from there. At least he hadn’t drawn blood.

Walburga gaped at him for a moment before composing herself. “Of course, Regulus. If you would prefer to handle it then who am I to say otherwise,” she folded her hands in her lap obviously very wrong-footed by her youngest standing up for himself.

Regulus glanced over at her and then over at Sirius and Remus. “Siri, you know how our family expects us to dress at this point. Try not to drive mother’s blood pressure too high,” Regulus informed him mildly.

“You can’t possibly be serious about this. You know what he’s worn in the past. He’s a… disgrace,” she seemed to struggle with her words for a moment. “I doubt his partner will be much better.” She waved her hand at Remus. Remus frowned and glanced down at his outfit, while he didn’t think it was perfect he thought it was decent. He looked smart in it and it fit him well enough.

“I am not Sirius, he is,” Regulus gestured back to his brother with a long, elegant hand. Barty snorted this time but hid it behind a sneeze. Remus grinned down at the tea still in his hands. “I trust that he will wear something that will make my wedding the talk of the town without upstaging me.”

Sirius looked like he was considering the idea. “I promise I will discuss the outfit I intend to wear at the engagement party and the wedding with you. As for the outrageous side, I make no promises on that.” Sirius sat back crossing his legs. He enjoyed sowing chaos and pissing off his parents was a bonus on that.

“How dare you try to ruin this happy event for us?” Walburga’s voice had lost some of its silky quality. Her eyes were starting to bulge in their sockets.

“Who said anything about ruining it? Why do you assume the worst, Mother?” Sirius asked, sipping his own tea. Remus was beginning to feel anxious about the whole thing. What if this went sideways? What if she went into a psychotic rage? She had already scarred Sirius, she had no qualms about violence. Would the fact that he was an adult change anything?

“You’ve never given us much cause to think of anything else,” Orion finally spoke up. His voice was creaky and dusty like an old chair. “Why wouldn’t you try to ruin this?” he asked. Sirius looked angry now, his dark brows drawing low over his eyes.

“I’ve never had a problem with Regulus. My problem was and always has been with my parents. Might have been different if the meds had actually worked for me instead of just sucking out my soul, might have been different if I hadn’t met James and his parents, might have been different if, for a single second, I thought I might one day gain acceptance in this house,” Sirius muttered. His grey eyes were glassy now. He swallowed and his face walled off. “Reg, thank you for the invitation but I’m not sure I’ll have the time. I prefer not to spend my life with bigots.”

Sirius rose and Remus scrambled to follow him. Kreacher was already waiting at the door with their jackets. “I always knew you were a disgrace from the second I gave birth to you. Good to know you’re a coward as well,” Walburga’s sharp voice cut through the air. Sirius didn’t turn back to her, he simply made his way outside. Remus followed, the cold air biting at his lungs. He caught Sirius' arm and a simple tug got him to look back and slow down.

They got into the car and Sirius turned on the heat while Remus made sure he wasn’t about to have another asthma attack. “I’m not a coward,” Sirius spoke evenly to the steering wheel. Remus looked over at him.

“I know that,” Remus answered. He did know that. Sirius lived his life on the edge. The edge of acceptable, the edge of society, and the edge of danger. He was not a coward. He loved fiercely and would go to the ends of the earth to protect people. Sirius swallowed convulsively and Remus shifted so he could wrap his arms around Sirius. Tears stained his new shirt and blazer.

“I never wanted to leave him to face them on his own... I never wanted to leave at all, but I couldn’t stay. She was going to kill me. Either with the drugs or the beatings, I was not going to make it out of that house with a soul,” Sirius was sobbing against Remus now. Remus kept his arms around Sirius tightly, hurting for the little boy who had been so hurt by his parents. He swallowed his own tears. He needed to be strong for Sirius, now was not the time to cry. He sent out a thought for his mam wishing for her warmth and support at the moment.

He could smell her perfume and knew she was there with him at that moment. It bolstered Remus’ strength. He held Sirius tighter. His shoulders shook for a long time until Sirius pushed back, he sat up and wiped his face. “When I left I was fifteen. I left because she beat me so bad I thought I was going to die. As I lay on the floor tasting my own blood I heard them talking. They were talking about sending me to the mental institution.”

Remus brushed his hair back from his face and pulled the strands off Sirius' face. He kissed Sirius' forehead. “I love you. You didn’t deserve any of that and none of that was your fault,” Remus answered. He brushed the tears off Sirius' cheeks. Sirius examined his face for a long time. “I’m not leaving and I am not going to make you leave.”

Sirius' lips quirked at him now. He leaned forward and kissed Remus. Sirius' hand was gentle on his cheek. Their tongues tangled. “Take me home,” Remus asked. Sirius nodded and wiped his face. They drove through the quiet streets and finally reached the flat. After a quick shower together they went to bed. Remus curled around Sirius until the other fell asleep.

When Sirius was softly snoring with Bastet curled around his head Remus got up. He pulled on joggers and a sweater and made his way carefully to the elevator. He didn’t press for any floors, just climbed into the small space and pulled up his contacts. It was a bit late but he hoped Euphemia would understand.

“Remus honey, what’s going on, love?” her warm voice was soothing in a way Remus didn’t even know he needed.

“Sirius had a rough night and I needed a mum. I’m sorry to have bothered you,” Remus murmured.

“You’re not bothering me. What happened?” Euphemia asked and Remus imagined she was climbing out of bed now to listen to him. Remus squashed the guilt, Euphemia had wanted him to consider her family, right now he needed his family. So he detailed what had happened at the Black Manor and how broken Sirius had been afterward. “Are you ok? It wasn’t just Sirius who was insulted tonight, you were, and your relationship with him was as well.”

“I don’t know her, and I like her even less, so her words don’t affect me. Sirius on the other hand,” Remus sat down in the back corner of the elevator. Euphemia let out a heavy sigh. “I don’t know how to help him with this.”

“Walburga Black is the worst person I can ever imagine handing a sweet infant to. From the moment he was born, she used shame and fear to keep him in line. As a result Sirius never believes himself to be worthy. You have to show him that you find him worthy,” Euphemia told him. Remus tapped his fingers against the mirrored surface and considered for a long moment.

“Can I have your recipe for Biryani?” Remus asked.

--

Remus looked up when the bell rang over the door and immediately tucked the paper he was looking at in his pocket. Sirius made his way up to the counter and passed Remus the twenty. “You know one day I am going to find the drink that costs more,” Remus informed him. He rang in a Sugar Cookie drink and dumped the change into the Tip Jar.

“You let me know when you do,” Sirius informed him. “Are you done?”

“Yeah I’m going to show Shelby how to clean the milk steamer and then hopefully Grant is here,” Remus answered. Sirius gave him a quick kiss over the counter and took the cup from Shelby.

Remus walked Shelby through cleaning the milk steamer. He signed off on her training sheets and set them on Aberforth’s desk. “Thanks, Shelby, I’ll see you bright and early tomorrow.” She exited the shop. Remus reset a few tables before Grant came in and Remus was able to head out.

He made his way down the street with Sirius. Remus climbed easily on the bike and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend. Soon though he noticed they weren’t heading to the apartment. “Where are we going?” Remus asked in Sirius' ear.

“I want to get a tattoo,” Sirius answered over the wind. Remus settled back slightly. He climbed off the bike and handed Sirius back the helmet. He followed Sirius into the shop. It was a clean shop, with large picture windows that let in lots of sunlight. The buzz of machines sounded through the shop. Sirius led the way through the front room and into the back.

“Ollivander I need you,” Sirius called and an old man popped his head up.

“Sirius Black, what can I do for you today?” Ollivander asked.

“Another tattoo chose me,” Sirius answered and got a wide grin. “Disgrace, right across my knuckles.” Sirius ran his finger over the skin. Ollivander took his hand and examined the pale skin. He produced a marker from nowhere and traced over Sirius' knuckles, inking the letters in place.

“How’s that, Sirius?” Ollivander asked. Sirius examined the letters and nodded. “Wonderful, go get set up in my chair, I’ll get my ink and gun out.” Sirius made his way back out to the front and settled on a chair near the door. Remus wandered about the shop as Ollivander set up. Examining the art on the walls and flipping through a portfolio or two.

“Your stars are inked on really well. I’ve never seen brown ink hold that well without an outline,” someone said to Remus. Remus glanced down at his hand.

“It's Mehndi,” Remus responded. “Not permanent.” The other man came over and held out his hand. Remus carefully placed his own in the other. It was all rough calluses. The delicate design was examined.

“Would you like it to be?” was asked next and Remus looked down at the design on his hand, drawn so carefully by Sirius. It would fade and be gone. Remus didn’t want that. He wanted to forever remember the wonderful time his lover had drawn stars around his scars.

“Can you?” Remus asked.

“We’ll have to be careful of the scarring but I can definitely do it,” the man led Remus to another chair. Sirius smiled at him as he was prepped for his own tattoo. A waiver was signed, his ID scanned, and then the buzz of the machine. It was louder than Remus remembered when he had gotten his mam’s name on his skin. It didn’t hurt as much as he remembered.

The man was meticulous, tracing the lines so delicately laid out by Sirius. The lines wound down over his wrist and tangled neatly next to the ragged lines of his scarring. Sirius was done before him and made his way over. “Your mother meant that as an insult?” Remus pointed out taking Sirius' hand and examining the new letters glistening under a layer of new skin.

“My mother has tried insulting me many times over the years. None have really stuck. This one though, this one I wanted on my hand. I can think of nothing more liberating than being a disgrace to her. I am glad you liked it enough to want it on your skin forever,” Sirius gestured to the tattoo now being cleaned up and wrapped.

“My boyfriend took my scars and made them beautiful,” Remus responded as he stood up and Sirius handed his card to the man.

“Your scars have always been beautiful. I wish you weren’t ashamed of them. They are a reminder that you are stronger than whatever tried to hurt you,” Sirius pointed out. “I added the stars because your beautiful, wonderful skin provided a beautiful landscape to work with.” Sirius took his card back with a word of thanks.

--

Remus bit his lip again and got a tut from Sirius. “You think just because I’m not looking at you means I don’t know when you’re doing that?” Sirius asked and scolded Bastet. She chirped and jumped on the counter. Her nose was yellow. Remus wet a towel to wipe the paint off.

“It’s how I think,” Remus protested, resisting the urge to stir again or call Euphemia. He was going to mess this up and Sirius was going to laugh at him.

“Come bite my lip to think from now on,” Sirius answered and made his way to the kitchen sink to rinse his brushes. “Smells good. I thought you were opposed to spice?”

“You took me to a traditional Indian dinner. I grew up in Wales, Sirius, we’ve barely mastered salt,” Remus informed him. Sirius came over. He wrapped his arms around Remus and scented the air like a dog. “I think it’s almost done.” He prodded at it.

“Mum always said the first ingredient in Biryani was doubt,” Sirius informed him. He kissed Remus’ cheek and moved back to his canvas. A cup of mineral spirits was set down then Sirius paused. He picked up the cup and collected Remus’ book from underneath it. Remus watched as Sirius leafed through it looking for a bookmark before pursuing the shelf to place it in the right location. His heart warmed as Sirius returned to his canvas clearly thinking nothing of it. The cup was set down on the now mercifully empty space.

Remus continued to work on the food until it was finally looking like how Euphemia had described it. He served it up and called Sirius in. “You know in the Potter family when we make this for someone we’re romantically involved with it’s a statement of intent,” Sirius told him. Remus gave him an innocent smile.

“Effie told me,” Remus answered. “I’m not part of the Potter family, however. I want to explore more Indian foods and get used to the spice palette. After yesterday I thought you could use something familiar.” Sirius held his gaze for a moment longer before turning back to his food. Sirius asked about Remus’ tattoo as they ate. Remus answered that it felt fine and asked about Sirius'. It was also fine.

“This is very good,” Sirius informed Remus, dishing himself a second helping. Some of Remus’ nerves faded, at least he had made it properly. That was a good sign.

“I’m going to have to ask Effie for more recipes. I rather like the cooking methods, they’re more labor intensive than I’m used to but they make great food,” Remus commented. Sirius cleaned up from dinner wrapping up leftovers and loading the dishwasher. Remus set his spoils down on the counter and kissed Sirius' cheek before moving to the window seat and picking up another book. Bastet curled up in his lap.

He watched as Sirius picked up the letter. Sirius settled on the stool and slit the letter open. Remus tried not to stare at Sirius. This was one of the hardest things he’d ever had to do. Share his mam with someone else. He fidgeted with the edges of the pages and stroked Bastet until Sirius closed the letter and made his way over to Remus.